* All Twilight references and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, all other characters, plot changes, etc are just fun things that I like to play with.
* This story is rated M for mature due to references and possibly descriptive scenes of abuse, rape, and smut.
Once Carlisle had assured me that the change was successfully under way we cleaned her up and changed her into fresh clothes that Alice brought in. Esme brought Elizabeth in to see me before she fell back asleep but I refused to leave Bella's side. She was still motionless and silent and I couldn't leave, couldn't allow her to be alone through this.
BELLA'S POV
"Go to sleep Bella, you need to rest." Edward coaxed next and I allowed my body to shut down, sleep arriving quickly.
The sleep was peaceful and deep, something that I was sure my body had needed but as I began to feel myself wake up I was shocked at the intense pain I was suddenly feeling all over my body. The burn that I hadn't been expecting hit me fiercely but I knew what it was instantly as I held tightly to my memories of Elizabeth and Edward.
I held on with everything that I had as the burning seemed to concentrate and become worse. As I kept a hold of my memories I used them, concentrating on blocking out the pain, ignoring it. I held my body rigid and still as my senses came back and I began to hear distinct noises spread around me. And as recognition set in and I began to identify the voices of my family the happiness spread through me and my determination grew. I continued to hold my invisible mind block against the pain of the burning and it stayed as a mild irritation to the back on my mind.
Holding back the pain so that it didn't consume me was taking all of my concentration but at the same time I needed to hear their voices, needed to know that they hadn't left me alone.
"Are you sure she's okay Carlisle?" Edward's voice was filled with worry when I found it in the room with me.
"She's fine Edward."
"But… she's so still. She hasn't made a sound, she hasn't moved an inch."
"Listen to her heart Edward. It's so strong. And look… the physical change is already complete after only 12 hours…"
Wait… only 12 hours? It seemed like so much longer that I had been focused on my family, trying to keep my mental block in place. Still two and a half days to go. I felt disappointed in this knowledge and my mind slipped for a fraction of a second, causing me to flinch as the flames licked through way through my body. I was able to re-focus my mind and I waited to see if anyone had seen the brief moment of weakness, but neither vampire spoke out and I was glad that they had seemed to miss it.
"Edward, the baby wants you, she keeps flashing me pictures of Bella and then you. She only wants you guys, we can't keep her happy any longer." Rosalie's voice entered the room next and my heart ached with the need to see my daughter.
"Bring her to me Rose." Edward replied and I could smell the beautiful scent of my baby girl as she was brought into the room, all of my senses moving to focus on her – her scent, her sounds.
"Hey sweet girl, Daddy's got you. Momma's here too and we both love you so much." The doting tone in his voice nearly killed me and as I listened to the baby coo in response I felt a fierce determination hit me as I focused my energy on my mental block and getting through the change for my girl and my love.
Suddenly the heat got stronger and I could feel it moving towards my heart as my heart began to race as loudly as a helicopter.
"Rosalie take the baby." Edward yelled loudly and I wanted to cover my ears.
"Carlisle, what's going on? Why is her heart racing? It's too soon. It's only been 12 hours."
"Edward, maybe she… I don't know Edward, maybe she's finished." Carlisle sounded unsure for the first time and I wished I could reassure him.
"Have you ever seen it take so little time?"
"No but I've never met someone like Bella either."
"But what if I didn't save her in time? What if she's dying?"
"Edward." I said clearly still trying to maintain my mental block.
"Bella?" he whispered and I felt his hand, suddenly warm, inside my own. My heart was now so loud it seemed to drown out all of the other sounds.
"I'm fine Edward."
"Carlisle? What's going on? How is Bella talking to me so calmly through the burning – this is the worst part." Edward asked as though I wasn't present.
"I'm fine Edward, I promise. The burn is almost over, I know it. Please just hold my hand." I spoke again and then pushed my focus back to my block.
"You are so amazing Bella, you are doing so wonderful, I love you so much. I'm so sorry that you're in pain." he said as the pain continued to concentrate towards my heart, the thumping getting impossibly louder and harder.
"I love you Edward. And I'm not in pain... I blocked it out... it's only an irritation that I can feel now." I told him and was amazed that this block was taking less concentration the closer it got to the end.
"Bella, how are you doing that?" I heard Carlisle ask astonished just before my heart thudded one last thud and I felt the fire explode at my core and then slowly dissipate.
I waited a few seconds and then gradually pulled back my mental block to test and make sure the burning was finished. I took a deep breath and realized that the action felt funny, good but funny and I felt my lips curve into a smile as I tried to refocus.
"Bella are you okay?" Edward asked in a strained voice as I took in my surroundings starting with my nose. The scents that I could now smell were astounding and almost overwhelming on their own – but they were beautiful, especially Edward's own scent.
Ever so slowly I opened my eyes and looked into the most beautiful honey gold eyes I had ever seen. I was slightly surprised to really see Edward for the first time, to see the beauty that my human eyes had missed. Beyond Edward I noticed the different colors coming from the light, reflecting off of each individual dust mote floating in the air. My eyes were darting around the room, taking in everything, every grain of wood, every sound coming from both inside and outside the house, everything was now open to me.
Once I had adjusted to the new sensitivity I wanted to assure Edward that I was fine. I thought I should sit up and instantly I was sitting on the table and I giggled slightly as I realized how fast my body could move now.
"Am I okay? You said it's only been 12 hours, am I a freak?" I blurted out before I could say anything else and as I waited I listened to the sound of my voice, not recognizing the new softer tones.
"I'm surprised you were able to hear and focus on our conversation Bella, but as far as I can tell you are perfect." I heard Carlisle's voice and turned my head to see him just to Edward's left, he was smiling at me although he looked slightly wary and defensive.
I looked back to Edward who was looking at me cautiously trying to judge my reactions.
"I feel like me." I stated simply and couldn't help but laugh when both Edward and Carlisle looked at each other with their serious faces.
"It's definitely strange... I mean I can see and smell and hear everything... but I still feel like I'm myself." I shrugged lightly and then felt a sudden pull towards the main level of the house. Without thinking about it I was down the stairs and standing in the living room, scooping my baby girl out of the infant seat and holding her ever so carefully against my chest.
"Bella No!" I heard behind me and before I knew it the baby was gone from my arms which had been pulled behind my back by both of my brothers. Reflexively I began to hiss at them and struggle against them, pulling my arms free and spinning on them.
I didn't know exactly what I was doing but suddenly I felt whatever had been blocking my mind shoot out from my body and when the other vampires in the room tried to reach me they were unable to break through the invisible barrier. I spun around and spotted Rosalie with the baby and willed her to let go, pulling Elizabeth back to my arms.
Once she was safe in my arms I folded my legs, not caring about the others who were trapped in different spots around me and held her softly as I talked to her and took in her own changes since I had seen her last.
"Bella, Love," I heard Edward once I was calmed down enough to focus on everyone else around me.
"Bella, are you holding us here like this?" he asked and I felt my mouth turn up into a grin as I continued to talk and play with Elizabeth.
"Can you let us go Love?" he asked and I hissed at him.
"We won't take Elizabeth from you Bella, I promise." he pleaded with me and I sighed as I felt around the edges of my barrier and pulled it back to me quickly. I laughed again as I watched all of the vampires in the room fall to the ground or stumble at their sudden release.
"Can I come closer and sit with you Bella?" Edward asked cautiously and I gestured to the floor next to me.
"Are you okay Bella?" Edward asked a minute later reaching over and taking my free hand in his.
"I'm sorry for reacting like that earlier." I apologized to him and the rest of the room who were still perched worriedly around us.
"I'm the one who should be sorry Love, we should have trusted you a little more. We just know that Elizabeth has a beating heart and blood in her veins, and Jasper confirmed you were thirsty so we just acted." he explained and I nodded my head thoughtfully.
"I am thirsty but it's nothing that I can't handle, just a slight itch in the back of my throat." I said. "When I was upstairs and talking to you and Carlisle I could hear Elizabeth and smell her, she smells amazing... not edible... just amazing... and there was this kind of pull and I knew that I just had to see her. I never once thought about hurting her." my eyes pricked as though I wanted to cry but I realized that was something that would never happen again.
When I looked up around the room I realized that everyone else was still staring at me with confused expressions on their faces.
I wanted to ask Edward what they were thinking so I concentrated on my mind, feeling the edges of the strange barrier which I now realized was like a stretchy film. Flexing it carefully I pulled it out, reaching it around Edward and enveloping him in it.
Edward... why are they all looking at me like that? I asked and was surprised when I heard what must have been Jasper's internal voice speak to him as well followed quickly by others'.
What's going on Edward... she's radiating pride and accomplishment... and she's so calm... too calm for a newborn.
Edward, she's so beautiful, and such an amazing person.
I can't believe I said so many horrible things about her before... she fits in so perfectly, like she was made for this life.
I still can't see anything from her future... why can't I see her future?
Man... when can I wrestle with your wife.
I've never seen anything like this Edward both a mental shield and a physical shield. But she should hunt before she snaps suddenly and loses it and does something that she'll regret.
I whipped my head in Carlisle's direction and growled softly at him, splitting my shield up and pushing him gently back from me as Edward held his side in silent hysterics.
"Now you know what I have to live with every day." he gasped between laughs and I joined in pulling my shield back from him when their thoughts picked up and became overwhelming.
"How do you deal with all that noise all the time?" I asked him which only caused him to laugh harder.
"Would someone clue the rest of us in on what's going on?" Alice asked annoyed, probably because for once she was as in the dark as the rest of us.
"It appears that Bella here is learning to use her shield and when she pushed it over top of me she was able to hear all of your thoughts through me, almost like my ability was amplified within her shield." Edward explained when he had regained some control.
"I am not going to snap and hurt my daughter." I said pointedly to Carlisle as I released him from my hold and stood up with Edward following beside me.
"But if it will really make everyone feel better I'll go hunting... geez... you could have just told me instead of treating me like something fragile." I huffed handing Esme the baby and kissing her softly before telling her I would be back soon. Reaching out I took Edward's hand and decided to let go and enjoy this new life that I had been given.
As we headed into the forest I concentrated on allowing my feet to push forward enjoying the rush of the forest flying past me. I had never been able to appreciate running with Edward as a human as it often made me sick and as I now realized my human senses were so weak. But now it was amazing and when Edward whispered to slow down I pouted slightly as I skidded to a quick stop.
"So how does this hunting thing work?" I asked him just before I caught a whiff of the most delicious and mouth watering scent. It made venom pool in my mouth and I couldn't stop myself from taking off in a different direction at top speed. Before I knew it I was at the edge of the highway watching a man change a flat tire off to the side. Instantly I was repulsed and I forced the scent out of my mind throwing my shield around my entire body and turning and walking in the opposite direction.
"Bella?" Edward asked catching up to me and slowing to walk beside me.
"That was a human." I said disappointment written all over my face.
"Did you..." he trailed off, I wrapped my shield around him to understand what he was thinking while blocking my own thoughts from him.
She didn't hunt him? She got so close to him... how is she walking away this casually?
"Of course I didn't hurt him Edward... I got to the side of the road and saw him changing his tire. I couldn't hurt an innocent human. I wrapped my senses in my shield so that I couldn't smell him and turned around and walked away. I just can't believe he smelled that good." I explained, still disgusted with myself, the memory of his scent still lingering.
"Bella, you just woke up as a newborn, there is no way that you should have been able to resist the smell of human blood. We figured Elizabeth was different because she's part vampire... but for you to be so controlled around a human... that's amazing." Edward told me stopping and looking down into my eyes.
As he looked at me it was as though I couldn't contain the love that I felt between us and I reached up, pulling his face down to mine, locking my lips against his. This kiss was unlike anything that I had ever experienced and I understood now why Edward had always had to be so careful with me as a human. It was like electricity flowed between us, binding us, connecting us to each other.
I felt his tongue glide along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to him, allowing him in to explore while my hands pulled him closer to me, exploring his back, his sides, and his neck. The layers of clothing between us began to frustrate me and I grabbed the back of his shirt, ripping it off of his body, reveling in the feel of his skin beneath my fingers. It felt warm against my own now and it was no longer hard beneath my touch but soft and pliable. I groaned as my shirt disappeared and I pressed my body into his, feeling our skin mold to one another. Not having to breath any longer had its advantages and our kissing never stopped, our hands continuing to touch, feel, press.
As his hand found my nipple I let my head roll back in pleasure and felt us fall gently to the forest floor, never breaking contact. I could feel his erection through his pants, pressing against me in just the right spot and I pressed my hips into his, seeking more contact against the clothes that we were still wearing. His own need obviously getting too strong to control had him ripping both of our pants off in one swift movement and I could feel him pressing up against me, moist from his tip.
Reaching down between us I grabbed him roughly, trailing my hand across his tip to gather the juices up pumping my hand up and down a few times as he hissed in pleasure.
"Bella... I need..." I knew what he needed but I wanted to hear him say it out loud.
"Tell me Edward... what do you need?" I asked him my voice deeper than I expected.
"I need... I want... more..." he panted as my hand slowed it's motions down.
"Fuck Isabella! I want to Fuck you!" Hearing him talking like that almost sent me over the edge and I guided him quickly to my entrance wanting him to have what he needed.
As soon as he was positioned I moved my hand, pulling his body close to me as he thrust deeply into me. This was nothing like I had ever experienced as a human, Edward was no longer holding back, his thrusts were hard and filled with need. It didn't scare me though, it only made me want him more. My first orgasm hit with his second thrust and I didn't have time before my second began to build.
"Fuck baby... that feels... so... good..." I panted just before I fell back over the edge. I heard him growl at the words that I had used and he flipped us around so that I was riding him now, pulling out almost completely before slamming myself down on top of him, taking everything he had inside of me.
"Bella... fuck... you feel... so good... around... me..." with that last word I moaned and felt myself release again which triggered his release. Sex with Edward had always been good, but I had never imagined that it would be like this. My body was like Jelly and the high that I was feeling was something indescribable.
Once feeling had returned to our bodies we sat up on the ground, Edward pulling me into his lap and giving me a soft gentle kiss.
"I think we have a bit of a problem." he said with a chuckle and I wondered what he was talking about.
"You still need to hunt Bella and we kind of destroyed our clothes." he laughed again as I looked around at the scraps laying on the forest floor around us.
"Have you ever hunted naked?" I asked giggling and watched as his eyes bulged out of his head. As we continued to sit there I heard several mild heartbeats in the distance and smelled the musty smell of blood. I crinkled my nose when I realized that this was the diet that I would be taking from now on.
"Deer?" I asked him and he nodded. We stood up and I let my senses go, guiding me towards the herd of deer that were grazing in a small meadow. The deer didn't even have time to sense me coming closer before my teeth were slicing through the neck of a large buck, suckling the sweet nectar into my mouth and down my throat. I had been right when I smelled it, I knew it wasn't something that would ever fully satisfy me, but I also didn't think that it would take too long to get used to it either.
As I continued to take long pulls, draining the deer I looked up across the field and saw Edward draining his own while watching me. The early morning sun sparkling through the trees and glinting off of his skin.
When we had both drained our animals we dropped them and stalked quietly over to one another, the lust rolling off our bodies. Watching him drain the dear while naked had been something so erotic, yet again something I had never even imagined. We made love again in the clearing, this time it was softer, more passionate, we took our time exploring and caressing, worshiping each others' bodies.
When we were satisfied in every way we disposed of the two deer and joined hands, heading back towards the house, taking our time, walking slowly. I was enjoying taking in the sights around me with my new senses.
"Are you okay Bella?" Edward asked as I let my thoughts run freely throughout my mind.
"I'm okay... just feeling a little sad and guilty." I replied honestly. We stopped walking for a minute and Edward turned so that he was facing me, pleading with his eyes to tell me what was bothering me.
"It's just that I was thinking about how much I couldn't wait to get back home and hold Elizabeth, to be there for her and watch her grow up... and then I started thinking about Shiloh and how that will never happen with her and how much I'm going to miss..." I explained and wondered deep down how much it would affect her in the future, knowing how she was given up.
I expected Edward to say something, to try and make me feel better, to apologize but he did none of those things, instead he pulled me into his arms, cradling me against his chest while once again I allowed the sobs to consume me.
"Bella, I know that nothing that I can say will ever make this any better for you, any easier and I'm sorry for that... After having Elizabeth I can't imagine her not being here with us." he whispered into my hair and I clutched even tighter to him.
"I'm sorry Edward... it's irrational and I'm so happy with Elizabeth and I love her more than I can even express... it's just... it's just that now I see her and I can't help wondering about Shiloh... missing her." I pulled away slightly and looked up into Edward's face to see him looking pained.
"What can I do to help you through this?" Edward sounded as though he would do anything for me at this moment and I briefly entertained the thought of tracking her down and bringing her home before I pushed the thought roughly aside and chastised myself for even thinking it.
"When I first found out that I was pregnant with Shiloh I was angry, scared, and upset. I contemplated abortion because of how she was conceived but from the moment that I knew that I was pregnant I loved her and wanted her to have a full and happy life. I don't regret giving her up for adoption even though I miss her so much that it aches sometimes... I just wish that I knew she was happy... that she is safe." I sighed and looked down at my hands.
"What if you could?" Edward asked in a whisper and I looked back up at his face.
"Adoption records are sealed and I don't know her parents' last name, I don't know anything about them at all... it's impossible."
"There are ways to find things out Bella, and I know how to find those ways. I would do anything for you Love, and if making sure that Shiloh is happy is something that you want or need, I want to be able to do that for you... will you let me?" Edward asked me and I felt the disbelief swell up within me.
"You can do that?" I asked him, still not sure I believed him. He nodded his head warily and I contemplated his offer for less than thirty seconds before telling him that I wanted that... I needed that closure. As we sat discussing how and when Edward would start looking I felt an ache in my chest begin to grow and looked at Edward worriedly.
"Thank you Edward... I know that I can never be in her life... it's too dangerous for her, but I feel like I need to know about her, to protect her." I sighed and he rubbed his hand up and down my arm gently soothing me.
"Edward?" I asked once I had regained a little bit of my composure and my train of thought had again shifted.
"Yes Love?"
"I'm not at all unhappy with being this way but I don't remember... why did you change me?" I asked cautiously, not wanting him to feel guilty for doing it, but wanting to know why. I had gone to bed fine and then woken up to the change, something had to have happened.
"You were hemorrhaging. You slept through the night and when Elizabeth woke up I took her downstairs to feed her. Esme and I were on the porch with her when I smelled your blood and by then it was too late. You had lost a lot of blood and your heart was close to stopping, it was the only thing that I could think of to do." he explained and I squeezed his hand this time.
"Thank you." I whispered, trying to convey every bit of love I felt for him.
"Can we get back to the house? I feel as though I have a part of me missing being away from Elizabeth for so long." We were already up and running back towards the house by the time I finished my sentence, scaling the back wall and going in through Edward's bedroom window to dress before joining the rest of the family downstairs.
Racing into the living room I followed Elizabeth's scent to Rosalie who was holding my daughter close to her chest and singing an Irish lullaby, but the second we entered the room Elizabeth's head immediately swung to look at us, her tiny hands reaching out as if to ask for us.
"She's been asking for you both for the last hour." Rosalie smiled as she handed her over.
"I'm sorry baby girl, I'm back now." I cooed as I sat down on the sofa with my daughter in my arms and she reached her hand up to my cheek to show me everything that had happened while we were gone.
"How was your first hunt Bella?" Carlisle asked me a little while later as he came into the room and sat down across from us. Edward glanced at me with a smirk and I nodded for him to go ahead and answer for me.
"Bella did amazing Carlisle... we were barely out the door here when the wind changed and she caught a human scent and began to track it. She got within 30 yards of a male human changing a tire on the side of the highway, but when she saw him she managed to pull her shield around her senses and leave him alone." Edward explained and I felt a tinge of guilt for remembering just how good he had smelled.
"That's amazing Bella." Jasper spoke up and I looked at him shrugging my shoulders.
A minute later I felt Elizabeth's hand reach up to my cheek again and watched in amazement as a small square appeared in the middle of the living room, the exact scene that Edward just described playing as though on a television or projector. When she was finished Elizabeth yawned widely and tucked her head into my neck, closing her eyes and promptly falling asleep.
"What was that?" Carlisle was the first to break the stunned silence.
"That must be an extension of Elizabeth's gift." Edward answered and I smiled down at my beautiful daughter.
"I've never heard of that... the only thing that even comes close is Kachiri from the amazonian coven... but she can't project memories like that." Carlisle muttered and I could see the wheels turning in his head.
"Jasper, can you give Jenks a call in the morning?" Edward asked while Carlisle continued talking to himself and I looked up in questioning.
"He's already working on identification for Elizabeth and Bella." Jasper replied looking at Edward in question.
"I know Jasper, but Bella has asked if we could find some information on Shiloh just enough that we know that she is safe and healthy." Edward explained and Jasper nodded.
"Shiloh Renee Swan, September 13th 2008, born in Phoenix." Jasper confirmed the information and Edward nodded.
"Thank you Jasper." I whispered and stood up slowly to carry my sleeping daughter up to our room, to her bed. Edward stayed downstairs for a few minutes giving Jasper a few more details and then joined me upstairs as I watched Elizabeth sleeping peacefully.
I spent most of the night curled up in Edward's arms, both of us content to lay back and watch our daughter sleep, not talking, just being.
The following day was strange for me. The rest of the family gave us our space and Edward, Elizabeth and I spent the time adjusting to each other and getting to know every mark, every hair, every story that we wanted her to hear. She was intelligent and absorbed our words and our actions like a sponge, communicating with us throughout her touch whenever she had questions. She was growing quickly and with my new senses I could see the changes from one hour to the next and I tried to treasure every single second that we had with her.
That night after we put her to bed we echoed the previous night's position, curling up around each other and watching the peacefulness that was our family. I could hear the others in the house and listened as their sounds of contentment over Elizabeth and I joining the family and the house flooded their thoughts and their words.
It was just before dawn when I heard a car pull onto our normally quiet road and instantly I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
"Damn it." Edward cursed quietly and I saw Elizabeth stir slightly.
"Jasper!" he called quietly and seconds later Jasper appeared in the doorway.
"Peter and Charlotte are outside... keep them out there away from Elizabeth." Edward demanded and the look on Edward's face terrified me. I quickly pulled Elizabeth to me as Edward followed Jasper out of the room, telling me to stay there with Elizabeth until they were gone. Esme came in to sit with us and I looked at her, asking her to tell me what was going on.
"I'm sure it's nothing dear. Peter and Charlotte are friends of Jasper's, I guess that they decided to come for an unexpected visit." she said and I wondered why Edward would be so upset about that. "Peter and Charlotte aren't dangerous Bella, but they aren't vegetarians." Esme further explained and instantly I understood. Elizabeth was in danger if they got too close.
"Oh dear." Esme said as the car got closer and I heard Edward growling from the driveway. I felt my ears perk up as I listened for any conversation that might happen from below and decided to pull my shield around Edward so that I could hear both sides of any talk.
Easy Edward, we know that your wife and child are in the house and we will not harm them.
"I would prefer that you stay outside and away from them in any case." Edward sounded as though he was talking through clenched teeth.
Edward, relax. Peter and Charlotte have excellent control and would never hurt anybody in this family... human, hybrid, or vamp.
Jasper was trying to calm Edward down but I could sense it wasn't working.
Edward I need to have a word with your mate if you'll allow me, I know something about Shiloh that you all should know.
A/N: I'm now back from holidays and should be back to updating on a regular basis, my goal being no more than 3 days between updates. I also want to thank you all for your kind comments and I hope you enjoyed this update.