Yes, in my (now rare) free time, I wrote another chapter. I got this idea when my friend was talking about her chemistry class, and that her teacher reminds her of Hojo (yes, creepy!) So it came to me that I don't have much, if any, mention of Hojo, the freaky scientist who ruined many lives! I'm trying hard to think up new ideas, my brain is failing me. School has made me stupider! Oh well, enjoy!
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to Square
"Rude!" Reno's voice called down the hall, causing the bald man to stop walking. He turned around to see the smaller man running towards him, half stumbling. Rude raised an eyebrow.
"Reno, you okay?" He asked as his fellow Turk caught up to him. Reno was huffing, and had to lean against the wall for a moment to catch his breath. He held his side, wincing.
"Why did I cut gym in high school?" He groaned. Rude blinked.
"You have a high school education?"
"Bite me." Reno huffed again before straightening up. It was now that Rude noticed Reno was holding a folder in one hand. Just like every other unfortunate piece of paperwork that passed through his hands, it was very crinkled and even ripped in one corner.
"What's that?" he inquired, pointing at the folder. Reno looked at it and sighed.
"Apparently Tseng needed some quiet time, because he asked me to run this down to the lab for Hojo." He explained. He waved the folder expressively as he spoke. Rude crossed his arms.
"Annoying him again?"
"I take great offence to that!" Reno said, sounding just as offended as he said. Racing up and down the hall in his rolling chair and making car noises wasn't annoying! It was entertainment, and Reno had been very, very bored. "Tseng thought I could be using my time much more productively." The last few words of his sentence were in clear imitation of Tseng's voice. Rude shook his head.
"I'm surprised you can say productive without imploding, Reno." he sighed. "So why did you chase me down to tell me this? I'm going to lunch now." Rude said as he started turning about. Reno caught his shoulder. "And your touching me. Didn't we already establish that was bad?" Rude said while stopping.
"I need you to come with me to the lab." Reno said, letting go of Rude's shoulder. After the makeup incident a few days before, he was actually a little cautious not to piss the bigger man off. Rude raised an eyebrow at Reno.
"Why?"
Reno's cocky attitude faded and he nudged the ground sheepishly with his shoe. "Hojo creeps me out. I know what he did to a Turk years ago, and I don't wanna go alone." He said, going quiet. Rude fought the urge to laugh.
"You're afraid of a scientist?" He mused, snickering lightly.
"Stuff it, you saw what he did to Valentine. You don't think he'll do it again?" Reno hissed, looking up at Rude, who managed to not burst out laughing.
"No, I think your paranoid." Rude sighed. "Alright, I'll go with you, but don't expect me to hold your hand."
Reno smirked. "We both know you want to."
Rude pushed open the door to the lab and walked through. He let it swing shut and laughed as it hit Reno in the face as he tried to walk in behind him. "Heads up." He warned as Reno stormed through the doorway, holding his nose. "The door might hit you."
"One day karma is going to come back and bite you in the ass." Reno growled, checking his hand for blood. When he saw none, he just rubbed the top of his nose as it throbbed painfully.
"Then I can only guess what will happen to you when karma catches up." Rude mused before looking around the lab. It was dimly lit, mostly by computer monitors that gave off a lulling humming sound. Rude glanced around a second time, and didn't see Professor Hojo anywhere. He looked at Reno and saw the man edge closer to him, looking around nervously. "Are you okay?" Rude asked, sidestepping away.
Reno nodded, and looked very pale. "I hate it here, I never come down to this lab." he replied, gripping his electro-mag rod like he was going to get attacked.
"And here I was thinking you were born here." Rude said with a shrug, having to step back to avoid Reno's EMR as it was swung at him. He smirked lightly. "Let's just find Hojo and get out of here."
The two searched the lab for a better part of five minutes, but the scientist was nowhere to be seen. Rude glanced into a small specimen tube filled with glowing green liquid, most likely containing mako. He saw a fetus-like object inside and wrinkled his nose slightly.
"This guy is a sick fu-"
"Hey Rude!" Reno called behind him, cutting his sentence off. "Look at this!" Rude sighed, wondering if his friend had consumed anything he had found, or broken something yet. He turned around and walked over to Reno, who was squatting down and poking at a cage with his EMR, which was turned off. Reno grinned. "I think I found your mother!"
Rude peered into the cage to see a six-legged purple insect-canine hybrid…thing. The creature was snapping at Reno's EMR and growling. It was the most horrible thing Rude had ever seen, and in return to Reno's comment, he gave him a smack on the back of the head.
Reno smirked and stood up. "Oh, was that your sister?"
Rude blinked. "Didn't you try and make a move on my sister last Christmas?" As Reno was walking away, he froze. He laughed nervously.
"Oh yeah… never mind that then." He grinned, and Rude just shook his head. He followed the redhead, who made his way over to another cage. He stopped and looked back at Rude, grinning. Rude stopped behind him.
"What?" Rude raised an eyebrow at Reno, who suddenly got that very disturbing light in his eye. Rude recognised that look and stepped back. "Reno…"
"CHOCOBO!" Reno suddenly exclaimed, reaching over and grabbing Rude's tie. He then started pulling Rude by his tie over to the cage, which held a fully grown green chocobo. It wasn't deformed or anything of the sort, so Hojo had probably not gotten a chance to mess around with the poor thing yet. Rude immediately backed away, and as Reno let go of his tie, he fell backwards. Rude sat up and scrambled away from the cage.
"Evil bird!" he yelled, causing Reno to laugh. The large bird gave a "WARK!" and Rude paled. Reno collapsed on the floor laughing, taking a few minutes to collect himself.
"Oh my god! That was great!" he sputtered, still trying to slow his laughter. Rude glared at the other Turk.
"Your death is going to be SO painful…" he growled, standing up and straightening his tie. He walked over to Reno and hauled him up roughly.
"Can I help you two?" Both the Turks looked over to see the scientist standing in the doorway, looking confused. Rude sighed and snatched the folder away from Reno, then dropped the redhead on the ground. He brushed himself off self-consciously and walked over to Hojo, and handed the folder to the professor.
"Papers from Tseng." He told Hojo, who took the folder slowly before nodding.
"Ah, yes, thank you, Rude." The insane scientist smiled and walked past him, over to one of the tables. He set the folder down and looked at a beaker. He paused for a moment, blinking several times. "What happened to my experiment?" He asked, looking at Rude, who shrugged. They both looked at Reno, who was laying on the ground, on his back. He was grabbing at the air above him.
"Stop the room… I want to get off." he said in a light, dazed voice. He then started giggling insanely, but stop suddenly to wince. Once the pain had faded, he started giggling again, like an amused child. Rude smacked his own forehead with his hand.
"Oh. My. God."
Hojo sighed before turning and starting to walk away. "I'll go get the stomach pump."
Y'know, the first thing my grade 10 science teacher said to uswas: "Don't drink the chemicals we use in our experiments." You have no idea how much that made me think of Reno. Finally, after so long, I get to teach everyone this lesson through the not-so-bright Turk! I hope it was still funny, like I said, my brain is dead.
Reviews! Booya, you guys are the best.
Nando the RPS King: No, he really doesn't XD But we love him anyways. Thanks again!
The Tiramisu of Impending Doom: You can't deny thecoolness of Reno in eyeshadow! -cough- yeah... thanks for the review
TruebornChaos: Thank you! Truer words were never said. And the one time Reno wasn't being a pervert, be paid dearly for it. XD Poor guy.
Random Reno Fangirl 05: Peacocks are PURE evil! I got attacked by one once. Aw,I missed you while you were gone! I hope you had a good trip.Oh, and I love the new fic, very well done! I shall review when I stop being lazy, I promise. Thanks again!