Chapter 12

Monday. The day I was dreading.

After Alex and I had kissed, he had spent the rest of the day with me. He taught me new songs, he sang with me. He played some of his songs. All of them beautiful. But he seemed so… relieved? Like he had wanted to kiss me for a while, and now he had he felt free. He was still shy and cautious around me, carefully moving my fingers into chords on my guitar strings and gently placing his arm around my shoulder when we sat down to watch another movie. But all in all, that Sunday was an affectionate and stress-free day; something I haven't had in years.

So when Monday rolled around, the anxieties kicked in. Were we going to tell anyone what happened? Were we even a "thing"? What would Holly say…?

His familiar little blue car was already in my spot when I arrived at school, early as usual even though I had no reason to escape my house this week. Habit, I guess. I pulled up beside me and he gestured for me to join him. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for whatever the conversation would hold, and joined him in his car.

He had a Good Charlotte CD playing quietly on his stereo, and the air freshener swinging from his mirror smelled like cherries.

"Good morning," he smiled at me for a second too long for an average friendly smile, and looked down into his lap. I sat quietly, unsure of what to say. "Uh… Did you sleep okay?" He scratched the back of his neck. He seemed just as awkward as I was.

"Yeah. It was nice to sleep in my own bed with no sense of impending doom to wake up to," I joked to lighten the mood. It didn't work. Turns out it wasn't so funny. Alex's eyebrows furrowed together.

"I guess we didn't really get a chance to talk much yesterday. Y'know, about what happened…" Here we go… "I just wanted you to know, if you wanted that to be just a one off thing, then that's okay… I mean I guess I can't hide the fact that I really like you anymore, but I don't really know how you feel." He was rambling nervously. It was kind of cute, but uncomfortable considering he was usually a bundle of confidence.

And then a thought crossed my mind.

If I were to date Alex, and my father found out… Well he'd probably kill me.

"Alex I do like you, but…"

"No, no buts… Don't make this complicated. I like you and you like me. Let's just leave it at that," he pleaded. I'm sure he knew exactly what I was going to say.

"I can't date."

"I knew you'd say that."

"I'm sorry, I just… If he found out he'd go crazy. He's always been so adamant. No dating." I couldn't look at him. I looked down at my hands, fiddling with my own fingers to keep myself from looking up.

"Anna," he grasped both of my hands in his, focussing my attention on him, "you need to get away from that man. You're going to end up in hospital, or worse… I can't watch that happen."

"I can't get away. I have nowhere to go. Alex I'm sorry but we can't…"

"Then we can keep it a secret. From everyone."

"He'd know. He always knows."

"Anna, please…"

"I'm sorry Alex." At that point I had to leave before he carried on. He called after me as I got out of his car and walked towards the school building. I couldn't even look back at him. I had no idea I even liked him this much.

But I stood by my decision. If I had tried to keep a relationship away from my father's knowledge, he'd find out. And he'd kill me. And if I told him outright, he'd kill me. I couldn't win. No good cold come of this.

But now I had to get through the rest of school until graduation with Alex and my new friends.

My week home alone was supposed to be my chance to relax, but if anything it was just as stressful. Awkward classes with Alex wordlessly pleading with me, and Jack trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Lunches sat at the same table as Alex and again, with Jack trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Rushing around after school to get out of there as quickly as I could so Alex couldn't drag me into the janitor's closet again with Jack stood by my locker, again trying to figure out what was going on. And we still had that music assignment to complete…

My only solace was at home. And that is saying something. So when Friday evening rolled around and I had just arrived home from rushing off yet again, I was reminded that tonight I wasn't coming home to an empty house.

My parents were home.

He was home.

"Ah, Annaliese; you're home. I'm impressed, you've managed to keep this place looking clean and tidy. Well done." He congratulated. Strangely, he seemed more upbeat than usual. My mother was nowhere to be seen.

"Thank you, sir," I sheepishly stood in the doorway to the living room. "Did you have a good trip?"

"It was wonderful, thank you. Is all of your homework done?"

"Everything, sir. I just have one small essay that I was set today to do. I'll finish it before dinner."

"Good girl," he sat down in his usual spot on the couch and flicked on the TV. And just like that, it was like he had never been gone. I sighed to myself and left him to it, making my way upstairs to complete the history essay I had been set.

As I rounded the corner at the top of the stairs I could see into my parent's bedroom, the door slightly ajar although it was still dark inside. I could see my mother's feet, as if she was lying on the bed. I was more excited to see her than I had realised.

"Hey, mom? Did you have a good trip?" I pushed my way into the room to find my mother lying on her side, shoulders shaking from silent sobs. I panicked, shutting the door behind me and switching on her bedside light. "Mom, what happened?" I lowered my voice to a whisper, sitting beside her and trying my best to comfort her.

She sat up, taking my hands in hers. She looked tired, more tired than she had in months. Dark circles enveloped her eyes and her cheeks were pale and stained with her tears.

"Annaliese, get out of here. Promise me, you'll get out. Don't get stuck like I did, okay?" she lifted a hand to stroke my cheek, her expression pained and desperate. "Don't wait. Find somewhere, anywhere just don't stay. Don't wait until college just get out. Make sure he doesn't know where you're going. Please just leave…" she sobbed.

"Mom, you're talking crazy. I couldn't leave you. And I don't have anywhere to go. We talked about this, I'll get away when I go to college." She shook her head vigorously as if to rid her mind of her thoughts.

"No, sweetheart please… For me. Get out," she sobbed, throwing her arms around my neck. I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't know how to comfort her. She looked so frail, like she'd snap with the wrong movement. So I lied to her…

"Yeah, mom. I'll get out."

My mom never left her bedroom all weekend. All of dad's frustration was then focussed solely on me. By Sunday evening, I was covered in bruises, and had a long slash along my calf from running up the stairs away from my kitchen-knife-wielding father. He was getting progressively more violent as the weekend progressed, and I was ready and waiting for Monday morning. Even with my new horrendous social situation, school was a haven compared to the literal hell hole I was living in.

But even I couldn't deny how beat up I looked as I tried to cover the bruises with make up. I was back to being the fragile girl after my short break.

When I got to school, the little blue car was ready and waiting, like it had been every morning through the past week. And I still found myself parking up alongside it.

I switched off the engine, and cautiously looked to my right. He was staring. His eyes widened at the sight of my face. He wasted no time in getting out of his car and climbing into my passenger's seat uninvited.

"What did he do? Are you okay? Can I help?" Alex bombarded me with questions, trying to lightly trace the purple blotches on my skin. I pushed his hands away, unable to form the words to tell him I didn't want him there. Because truthfully, I did.

"I'm fine, Alex."

"Anna…" he sounded defeated, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere with me. We sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, both of us trying to find something, anything to say, most likely.

"I miss you," I blurted out. Dumbass move, I know.

"You're the one who decided to-"

"I know," I snapped, "but I don't have a choice. I wish you could understand, Alex." He tilted his head against the headrest, staring up at the ceiling. More silence.

"My mum wants me to get out." He sat up quickly, turning his body to face me. I fiddled with my own fingers again, trying to resist the urge to look up at him.

"You should. Just leave, Anna. Run away. You think you can't but you can. You could stay with me. Or Jack? I know Jack's house has a spare room, and his mom loves you. If you just explained the situation then…"

"No. I'm not leaving my mom. I can't. And what would I say to him? 'Hey Jack, my dad beats me to a pulp every night so do you mind if I just move in with you'?"

"Yes, exactly. Or tell the police or something. Anna, I'm begging you. Listen to your mom." I threaded my fingers in my hair, pulling at the roots in frustration. This was impossible. It was like talking to a brick wall.

Luckily for me, I didn't have to sit and listen to this anymore. Apparently as we had been talking, the parking lot had filled up, and students had filed into the building. The bell rang out, and I could attempt to avoid Alex for the rest of the day.

And again, our lessons together were still awkward, I preoccupied myself with Olivia and Rian's band trivia at lunch and I ran away from him in the halls in between. Alex Gaskarth had been successfully averted for one more day. The sense of relief I found myself feeling on the drive home was bliss, if only momentary after remembering what I was going home to.

There was just nowhere to hide.

As I rounded the corner turning into my street, I noticed instantly something wasn't right. The entire neighbourhood was out in force, congregating and running across the street. I parked a few houses down, unable to get any closer to my house, where the centre of the mob of onlookers seemed to be. In-between the people, a few cops could be seen trying to control the crowd, pushing them back and asking them to 'please return to their homes'. Blue and red flashes of light lit up the walls and reflected in the windows of the street. Police tape sectioned off our driveway and house.

And my heart felt like it was going to jump right out of my throat.

I pushed through the crowd, trying to get through to an officer and explain who I was.

"Ma'am, I can't let you pass," and officer stopped me by the shoulders.

"I-I live h-here…" I stammered, the enormity of the situation hitting me like a nuclear bomb. "With my m-mom… and dad… What's going on?" Confusion must have painted my features like that of a puppy being taken away from its mother. A man in a navy blue suit and tie made his way over to me after overhearing the conversation.

"My name is Detective Inspector Matthew Decker. Ma'am, may I please ask your name?"

"A-Annaliese McCoy, sir," I stammered, desperate for answers. D.I. Decker's face washed over with understanding and…sympathy? He lifted the police tape separating us.

"Ms. McCoy, I think you'd better come with me."