Disclaimer: The Harry Potter world and all Harry Potter characters are not mine. I do not make any money from this.

A/N: This was written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, Round 11, for the Chudley Cannons, Chaser 1.

Prompt(s): Write about losing someone/thing on a windy day(s) OR winning someone/thing on a rainy night(s).

Additional Prompt(s): (song) Let It All Go - BIRDY + RHODES, (emotion) bitterness, (dialogue) "You can't start a new chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."

. . .

Not Again

. . .

Hermione didn't know when it started. She couldn't pinpoint a time or place in which her feelings shifted. She did know that it was insane. It was a silly notion and completely ridiculous to even consider. Hermione couldn't deny how she felt though.

They had been working together for nine years now. It had only been a couple of years though since Headmistress McGonagall had asked them to work together on a new program for the students as well as a new avenue for income. The Ministry only allowed them a certain amount of money to restore Hogwarts, and they were always wanting in other areas.

Severus Snape was dead for approximately six minutes before he was found by the Malfoys. It was only because of Narcissa's quick thinking and steady demeanor that she and Lucius managed to save Severus at all. She had always been quite talented in healing spells, and though she could have pursued a career at St. Mungo's it was improper for a witch of her stature to take on such an occupation. It's been ten years since the night he died and Severus still wasn't sure if he was grateful that he was alive.

Minerva had propositioned him with the idea of selling "Hogwarts Sanctioned Potions" several years before. He got to keep a decent percentage of the profits while the rest went to the school. The Headmistress had the nerve to suggest that he needed an assistant. Severus had scoffed at the idea but after several weeks of classes, making the potions, and his other duties, Severus was exhausted and conceded to the suggestion of an assistant. The problem after that was "who". Minerva had brought on several in-training potion makers but none were up to par. It was only after the Muggle Studies teacher and head of the "Muggle-born Society", Hermione Jean Granger, volunteered her time did Severus find a suitable assistant. He was loathed to admit it. In his opinion, giving Granger too much praise for what she already knew she could do quite proficiently was a wasted effort. He had no intention of expressing his appreciation in her regard.

So they had worked together for several years on the now established line of potions. It was with a thinly-veiled order that Minerva told Severus that he would work with Granger on the "Muggle-born Society". He was against it, being a Half-Blood, he didn't see the point. But apparently, it was the condition in which Ms. Granger volunteered her time so freely to their new endeavor.

Severus didn't understand why she wanted him on the program but he didn't want to ask her either. So he attended the meetings, gave his ideas and suggestions here and there, and feigned indifference in every other venture.

It was with this work schedule that Hermione grew closer to one Severus Snape. He was pretty much nineteen years her senior but Hermione, who was now twenty-nine herself, didn't see much of a problem with that. He was forty-eight, and didn't seem to lose one ounce of self-confidence or his snarky habits even after he had died and pretty much told all his secrets to the bane of his existence.

Harry Potter had told everyone what Severus did for the Order and for him; it was only because of that that Severus was allowed back at Hogwarts and given his old job back. Many people wanted to thank him but Severus kept to himself. He didn't accept the medals they tried to give to him, and Ms. Granger had told him that the Potter spawn kept them for him. He seemed to resume where he had left off before he killed Dumbledore, bitter and unimportant in the eyes of the world. He wanted no interaction with anyone from the Order or any of his former students. He only tolerated Granger and the Longbottom boy because they were now professors at Hogwarts themselves. He wanted to resume his insignificant way of life.

This is what Severus had resigned himself to until Ms. Granger came into his life. He had been content with barely interacting with her but after the program was put in place, he spent more time with her than he anticipated. He could feel himself opening up to the young woman and he wasn't comfortable with it. They often ended their work in arguments and tense silences. Either she would press too hard on his past or he would insult her beyond propriety. In-between that he often gave in to her questions and observation, he would be gentle to her in return. These moments were the moments that confused Severus. When had he become so sentimental? When had he ever been nice to Hermione Granger?

It was these moments that won Hermione over. She always had a general respect and appreciation for him but after spending several years getting to know him, no matter how reluctant he was, the more she fell for him. It wasn't intentional and quite frankly was a shock when she realized. It made her uneasy and unsure of how to proceed. Did he even feel the same? Should she voice it out loud? Would he return her affections or spurn her? Would she be willing to risk the sort of camaraderie relationship she had developed with him?

. . .

I've been sleepless at night
Cause I don't know how I feel
I've been waiting on you
Just to say something real
There's a right on the wrong and I think you know

"Not that I care but you're surprisingly quiet today," Severus remarked. Hermione froze in her steps; she cursed herself for being glaringly obvious. She had hoped that if she just stayed quiet and did what needed to be done that he wouldn't notice and she could go on trying to stop the feelings swirling in her chest. She continued walking to the table opposite his. She laid out the potions ingredients she gathered from his cupboard and went about separating the ingredients according to the several potions they were working on.

"It's been a long day," she simply replied. Severus eyes her curiously from his place at a cauldron. He was stirring the potion counter clockwise, counting each rotation before he set it to simmer and joined her at her table.

"Any particular reason you seem agitated?" he snidely asked. Hermione sighed heavily and continued her task. He started grabbing various potions ingredients, chopping and mincing. It wasn't odd for her to be irritable but an hour into their work and she'd be ranting about it but she stayed quiet. Whenever he reached for an ingredient across from her she would stiffen and move millimeters away from his proximity. It didn't bother him but she hadn't acted this way since she first saw him again after the Battle of Hogwarts. Quite frankly, he thought they were past all this. Severus sighed in turn and continued his own task.

"It's not important," she felt obligated to answer him and didn't know how. Of course it was important. She was falling for her former professor and now colleague. She wasn't even sure if he was capable of having the same affections for her. She hated the emotions now overtaking her being. She felt like some love sick school girl with a ridiculous crush. It was stupid and she hated it. The problem was she wasn't a school girl, she was a grown woman, and it wasn't a crush, it was just more.

"Whatever it is I'm sure you'll feel better if you confide in someone?" He offered. It wasn't a direct offer. He said "someone" instead of "me" but Hermione appreciated the offer all the same. She had learned to speak "Snape" a year into their working relationship. She supposed she could read him better than most.

"It's…" she hesitated. She continued sorting the necessary ingredients, throwing out what was damaged and what was unsuitable for their potions. "I have feelings for someone." Severus hesitated in his movements, it was a second but Hermione caught it all the same. She continued on as if she didn't notice. "And it is completely idiotic. There is no way in the world that this person feels the same way I do. It's unprofessional and confusing. I don't know what to do." She let out in a rush. She continued on with what she was doing, she didn't dare say anymore. The silence was awkward between them for several minutes before he finally spoke.

"I don't have much experience in this situation and what experience I do have is…insufficient. I don't pretend to be an expert but the natural course for this type of thing, I believe, is just to tell the individual how you feel," he drily replied. Hermione halted her movements before she finally continued. They were quiet for the remainder of their session. It was only when Hermione had finished cleaning her table that she turned to Severus. Her heart was hammering and her emotions were now a hurricane in the center of her being.

"Severus…" she hesitated. He turned to look at her. He was putting the finishing touches on the potions they had made that night. Some of them needed to simmer until morning. His mind was wrapped up in what needed to be done the next day when he saw the look on her face. It was a sort of fearful determination with a hint of desperation. Severus swallowed and realized what was happening. "I'm falling in love with you." She sighed in a resigned bravery that he knew only she could muster. He was frozen. His mind went blank in an instant and he couldn't think or feel. It went on like that for a moment before she looked down at her feet and rushed off in a blur.

Morning has come and I have to go

I don't know why, I don't know why
We need to break so hard
I don't know why we break so hard

. . .

"Why you came to talk to me about this is unclear but I don't know what you expect me to say or do," Minerva tersely said. Severus seethed and stopped his pacing to look at her. After recounting what Ms. Granger had confessed to him, he didn't know why he was there either.

"I suppose it's because I have no one else to confide in," he snapped back at her. Minerva resisted the urge to roll her eyes and watched him continue to pace.

"I would naturally discourage such a relationship especially since you two work together but I dare say that such an endeavor would be good for you, for both of you," Minerva spoke truthfully and from the look Severus threw at her she knew that he didn't appreciate it.

"She's a child," Severus bit out. Minerva did roll her eyes at that one.
"She's twenty-nine years old. She hasn't been a child for quite some time," she countered. Severus growled under his breath and continued his pacing.

"She was my student. She was your student. It is completely irrational and reckless to feel this way about someone like me. I will do nothing but bring her pain and misery. She's better off with…a Weasley or some airheaded Gryffindor," he snarled. Minerva was used to his insults and only shook her head at his remarks.

"She tried it with Mr. Weasley and it didn't work out. She tried it with an airheaded Gryffindor and it didn't work out. She's choosing you and I must ask. Is it just that you don't feel the same way? Or is it that you do?" Minerva cocked her head to the side in interest, closely watching his expressions. Severus stopped his pacing to glare at her and that's when Minerva saw it, the slight hesitation and fear that flew across his eyes before they were smoothed over with irritation. "Oh, Severus. After so many years, you finally feel something." He sighed heavily and continued to glare at her. "You can't start a new chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one," she remarked calmly.

"It doesn't matter. She's confused and naïve. There is no future for me besides this one. I refuse to be subject to my own feelings and desires, not again," he replied calmly before he stormed out of her office. Minerva sighed as she watched him leave.

. . .

If I look back to the start, now I know

I see everything true

There's still a fire in my heart, my darling

But I'm not burning for you

We've started it wrong and I think you know

"We need to talk about this," Hermione said. Severus continued his movements without replying. They had gone a week without really speaking. An unsettling silence had settled over them, as if they were both reluctant to voice out loud what they were feeling. Hermione sighed. "We need to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," he curtly replied. Hermione felt an unwanted pang in her chest, a sharp pain that she cursed herself for feeling.

"So you reject my sentiment?" She tried to calmly ask. Her voice came out even but she could hear the slight tremble. She saw his movement falter, his hands stopped for a millisecond while stirring the cauldron on his table. She saw the grim look on his face before he steeled it over in indifference.

"Yes," he replied. Hermione took a ragged breath in and sighed heavily. She stopped what she was doing for a moment. She gripped the edge of the table and closed her eyes. Severus watched her from his peripheral vision. His chest ached watching her react to his affirmation. It's like a hand was squeezing his heart. He resigned himself to his misery and continued what he was doing. Hermione was still gripping the table, trying to ground herself before she continued with what she was doing. She refused to leave the session just because of her silly feelings.

"Okay."

We waited too long, now I have to go

I don't know why, I don't know why
We need to break so hard
I don't know why we break so hard

. . .

"I'm leaving." Severus halted his stirring and turned to look at her. She was gripping the edge of the table again, like she did that night.

"If you are not feeling well then I understand if you want to go back to your quarters," he drily replied. Hermione sighed and turned to look at him.

"I'm leaving Hogwarts. I resigned," she clarified. Severus stopped again and stared at a point past the cauldron.

"I wish you the best," he let out. It came out quiet and unlike him. He resumed his stirring and didn't look at her again.

"Is that it?" she whispered. Severus could hear her, in their silences he could hear every sound she made. He sighed heavily and moved the cauldron to pour the potion in the appropriate vials.

"Yes." It was equally whispered and he could hear the hitch in her breath. She resumed her task and they said no more.

. . .

It was windy on the school grounds, the leaves were turning and there was a slight chill to the sun warmed evening. Hermione Granger was leaving Hogwarts and everyone didn't understand why. It was an abrupt announcement. All that was shared was that Hermione was offered an invaluable position at the Ministry and that she was going to take it. She recommended someone for the Muggle Studies position and she would be back for the Muggle-Born Society. Severus was no longer required to attend.

Everyone was gathered in the courtyard to big her goodbye and luck with her new adventure. The Headmistress hugged her warmly and thanked her for her time at Hogwarts. Hermione said goodbye to her sad students. Her eyes scanned the crowd for a familiar scowl but he wasn't there. She fought back the pain in her chest, picked up her things and walked towards the carriage waiting for her. It was unlike her to leave because of someone especially someone she felt romantic feelings for but she couldn't bear it. She tried to, she tried to fight the pain in her chest at every step and look his way but it was to no avail. The hurricane of emotions still raged in her chest and she didn't know how to get rid of it.

The wind whipped around her hair. The chill biting against her cheeks as she pulled her scarf closer around her. Dark eyes were watching her from a nearby tower. He didn't say goodbye or even see her at all since she announced she was leaving. He didn't know what he could say or do that would make everything better. He wasn't presumptuous enough to assume that she was leaving because of him but he had the sinking feeling that it was. He hated that. He hated this. Why did he always create his own disasters? Why couldn't he let anyone in? Why couldn't he let her in?

. . .

A/N: Kind of written for Story Please as an apology for Round 8. Might write more to this particular story since I don't like how I left it.