Boss: Sorry about the wait. Shit has been a bit busy since the holidays are coming up (not to mention I had to work on Halloween T-T) but here's the next thing.

If anyone needs a trigger warning, here it is. I say this because shit is getting more descriptive and graphic and I nearly caused myself a panic attack writing this, sooooo yea...

Enjoy.

It was getting more and more difficult for Johnny to act normal these days after letting most of the crew know about the Boss. The term 'for her own good' only served to piss him off, resulting in random visits to the simulation that would end in half of Loren Square being completely demolished (that was only IF he was being lazy). It still looked normal to the Boss and Ben, but the rest of the crew knew better. Even Keith, who Shaundi filled in on what was going on.

Shaundi didn't necessarily mean to tell him, but she had become so upset about it, she went to Keith, who always had his arms open for her. He was quite shocked to hear what she had to say, considering how he hadn't known the Boss as long as the others. Keith never saw any signs of the Boss's troubles but after hearing everything from her, small realizations struck him and for a moment he actually felt quite stupid for not seeing it and mentioned that there was a chance he had seen something that should've been a sign.

"What did you see?" she asked, her head against his shoulder.

"I normally caught it either before or after conferences and meetings or at night. Remember when she would just tell us she'd be back and disappear for a while and when we asked about it, she'd just tell us she had a headache and needed something for it?" he said. Shaundi nodded.

"Yea. The Boss gets headaches all the time." It had been revealed after their Stilwater takeover that the Boss actually suffered from chronic migraines and after jumping through so many hoops at hospitals to try to go about getting it treated like a normal person, the pain caused her frustration and she ended up telling the doctor to just put her on pain killers or he wasn't gonna have a head left after she splattered it on the walls.

"Yea, but I'm thinkin' not all of it was headaches and what she was taking wasn't just painkillers." Shaundi furrowed her brow.

"So, Johnny was right. She was on medication", she mumbled. Keith nodded. He remembered the few times he walked by and saw her in a room alone, looking as if she were trying to collect herself. The way she'd be pacing, taking deep breaths as she ran her hand through her hair. Her tie would be loosened and the top button of her suit shirt would be unbuttoned while she continued her breathing that would almost be full on hyperventilation. Keith figured the stress of being President was causing it, that it just came with the job, so he thought nothing of it and let the Boss have her little 'moments', but now that he thought about it, maybe they should've paid more attention.

"Had to be. But even if she still had her medication, if what you guys think is true and the simulation is still trying to torment the Boss, I don't think it would really do a whole lot of good."

"Why not?" Shaundi asked.

"Because it's an outside force using her illness to it's advantage. It's not just her goin' crazy. If it were just her goin' crazy, perhaps it would help, but something is instigating it. Not a whole lot meds can do when something is still outwardly fuckin' with you." Shaundi sighed, looking down.

"You're right."

It was quiet for a moment. Just the light hum of the ship around them. Shaundi didn't want to deal with this right now. It was getting to be too much crazy to even be real, but she knew it was and they had to do something.

"Kinzie wants us to try something to see if she can find out how the simulation is doing what it's doing, but..."

"But what?" Keith asked.

"Not everyone is onboard with it."

"Why not?"

"Because it involves letting the Boss go back into the simulation and after the last couple of times she was in, no one really wants to let that happen. Especially Johnny."

"Jesus Christ..."

When Kinzie presented the idea to them, Johnny immediately cut in with a loud 'fuck that'. He was not having it, but Matt backed up her idea, albeit nervously as Johnny glared at him the whole time. While it was definitely dangerous, they needed to find out how the simulation was doing what it was doing and the only way to find out was for the Boss to be under. Pierce took Johnny's side, not even bothering to listen to the reasoning behind what Kinzie and Matt were proposing. As they continued to bicker, Shaundi sat in the background, her head in her hands and mind running rampant. She could understand both sides of the argument underway and it made everything especially frustrating for her. Would it work? More than likely. Was she willing to put the Boss in a potentially dangerous situation to find out? Not really. But again, what other options did they have? The simulation had sentience, making things more difficult for Kinzie and Matt to dissect and if they couldn't figure it out, what the fuck were they supposed to do?

The simulation was created with a mind of it's own and there was no way to directly get into it without it either finding out and retaliating or just all together making it impossible to find and so far, it was being impossible. It knew what it was doing. They had to draw it out and in turn, make it expose itself and the only way to do that was to give it what it wanted.

The Boss.

Johnny stayed seated in a chair outside of the living room, sharpening his knife in an attempt to calm down. Saying he was annoyed didn't begin to cover how he was feeling. He couldn't even properly describe it. No amount of 'motherfucker' or 'fuck' could soothe it over. After seeing what was happening to the Boss and everything he told them and they wanted to put her BACK into the same simulation that was currently still torturing her, even after being pulled out. He understood why they wanted to do it, but the Saints always found a way around those circumstances. They always found another way to stop shit without ever handing the enemy what they wanted. But here they were, thinking about actually handing over the Boss to lure out a program hellbent on making her snap.

And Johnny wasn't cool with that. He knew that if the tables were turned, she'd react the same way and probably punch Matt again (he was kinda disappointed that he missed that). No matter the situation and no matter the enemy, the Saints didn't just hand shit over. Ever. The fact that it would work, though, buzzed around his head incessantly, making his frustration rise. The more he thought about it, the faster and harder he sharpened his knife almost subconsciously. He wasn't even actually looking at what he was doing until a sharp, hot pain dragged across his palm.

"Motherfucker!" he yelled, pulling his hand away from the blade quickly. At least he knew he was sharpening his blades right judging from how deep and long the cut was, which mind you was already bleeding quite a bit. He let out a deep sigh and set his knife down in the chair beside him (AKA buried it in the cushion as deep as he could until the tip hit metal). If anything, this just served to add icing to the stress cake that was currently being forced down his fucking throat.

"I heard 'motherfucker'. What did you do, Johnny?" Johnny looked up from his hand to see the Boss walking up to him. Her makeupless face was the first thing he noticed at the moment. It had been a long time since he saw that face and she had been wearing it a lot more often. The one that looked as if it belonged to someone younger and more innocent (and probably still exhausted as fuck). Without all of her normal liners and shadows, it was apparent how big her eyes actually were, despite how almond shaped. It was weird but kind of...well...cute. Fine. It was cute. He could admit. And the mildly worried look on her face when she saw his hand was flat out adorable, but his neutral expression stayed in place. A small smirk replaced her worry and she shook her head as she stooped down to one knee and took his sliced up hand in her own bandaged up one.

"Come on, man. Didn't we just get through this whole scenario?" she said as she looked at the cut, making a joke of her mishap. Definitely not as deep as hers, but would probably need a few butterfly stitches in it to help the skin heal back together. She carefully reached into her pocket and pulled out some of the spare gauze she had to keep on her. "Hold onto that for a minute", she said. Johnny raised a brow but held onto the gauze, letting it soak up the blood.

"And what the fuck are you gonna do?" he said as she went into Ben's favorite writing spot and rummaged through one of the cabinets. "You can't do anything with your hands all fucked up."

"Johnny, sweetie", she responded, returning with a box. "Do me a solid and shut the fuck up, okay? Besides, it's been a couple of days and they don't hurt as badly anymore. I don't even have to use as much gauze around them now", she said, holding up her right hand that had significantly less gauze around it and a lighter pink blood stain than it did when he first stitched it up. She set the box down next to Johnny's knife and carefully took hold of his hand. "Open up your hand." He slowly opened his hand, revealing the already mostly soaked material. The Boss removed it and set it aside before opening up the box and pulling out an alcohol pad.

"Don't you fuckin' dare", he said, but she simply looked up at him and raised a brow.

"Don't I dare what?" she said as she took his hand in hers. He glared at her and clenched his jaw tightly, feeling the pad drag across the cut and the sting of the alcohol disinfecting it. A small chuckle came from the Boss. "Kinda sucks, doesn't it?"

"Shut up", he mumbled. The stinging began to ease and she used another gauze bit to dry it all off before pulling out a package of butterfly stitches. "You ain't funny."

"I don't know, I think I'm pretty fucking hilarious really", she chuckled, placing the stitches along the cut.

"Boss, you can't even tell knock knock jokes. Who the hell told you you were funny?"

That got the Boss to laugh a little while she wrapped some gauze around his palm for good measure. In truth, she actually was funny. She could be funny as hell when she wasn't even trying to be. But still. She couldn't tell a knock knock joke to save her life.

"Screw you, I know I'm funny." The small smirk on her face died down a little as she still held Johnny's hand in hers. "Just...been a little hard to be these days." Johnny's other hand rested atop her head gently and he sighed.

"Relax, Boss. I know."

The argument from before wouldn't stop ringing around his head and his frustrations began to build up again the more he recalled it. This was driving him insane. He wanted to bring the old Boss back. He'd do anything to do it. At least, he thought he'd do anything. Anything but this.

"Earth to Johnny. Are you okay?" he heard her say.

"Huh? Oh, yea. I'm good, Boss." Maybe he wasn't good. Spacing out had become a common thing for him to do lately and the Boss noticed. Her brows furrowed at his response.

"You sure? Because you don't seem okay." Johnny raised his brows, making the Boss roll her eyes and look away.

"Really? I don't seem okay? I gotta admit, neither do you. That's kinda like the grenade callin' the pipe bomb an explosive, isn't it?"

"Look, smartass, I was just askin'", she mumbled as she rose from her kneeling position with the box in hand. "Last thing anyone needs is BOTH of us goin' batshit." Her eyes turned to the floor and she headed back into the other room to return the box of supplies.

Johnny's nerves were grating even more. Her habits were becoming more and more quiet and submissive and it was like he was watching her die. Avoiding eye contact with people. Not talking much. Always seeming nervous. It reminded him of Zinjai and his frustration came back to him several fold. The Boss wasn't fucking Zinjai. She never was and was never meant to be like that. She was the fucking Boss.

But it was like she wasn't anymore and at that point, he understood what Pierce had said before.

"Motherfucker."

He was gonna hate himself for this so much.

"Hey, Boss!" he called. Her footsteps came back towards him slowly.

"What's up?"

"...Wanna go into the simulation for a bit?"

"I don't give a damn, Kinzie! It ain't fuckin' right!" Pierce yelled. He was normally pretty chill with a lot of things but absolutely nothing about this was cool with him. In all of his time as a Saint, not once did they ever just 'let shit happen'.

"Pierce, just listen to me!" she yelled back. "How else are we going to draw the program out?! This isn't just another basic system Matt and I can worm our ways into nor is it something we can just trick with a decoy of the Boss! This is alien technology and advanced coding functioning within a sentient system! We have to outwit the program to expose it and we can't do that without-"

"Without the Boss, yes, I fuckin' know that, Kinzie! I ain't as stupid as you guys want me to be! I know what you want to do! I know it may work! But in the off chance that it doesn't, I'd at least like to know we ain't puttin' the Boss's life in danger based on a fuckin' MAYBE!"

"Then what do you want us to do?!"

Pierce pinched the bridge of his nose and folded his other arm around himself, pacing. They had political arguments in the White Crib that didn't even get this heated but at the same time, they (shockingly enough) didn't have the Boss's life hanging in the balance.

Well, there was that one time after the Boss went to England, but Asha knew what she was getting into when she suggested it. The Boss warned her what would happen if anyone referred to America as 'the colonies', which is more than she did for anyone else up until her position as president.

"I want to know that it will not only work, but we can get the Boss out without anymore repercussions than there already have been!"

"I can't promise that!"

"Exactly! That's the problem!" Pierce had never been this angry before. Not at Shaundi or Gat or the Boss herself but their tech wizard was making his blood pressure rise. "I am NOT gonna let you guys put her back into her own fuckin' nightmare again just so Gat and I can pull her out of another room she's torn apart because it drove her crazy! You saw what happened and you want to force her back into that?! Fuck that! Ya'll can figure some other shit out!"

Kinzie was practically pulling her hair out of her bun at this point. She understood what Pierce was saying. She understood his reasoning but with the way this was all going, they had to take this chance. Their backs were against the wall with this.

Matt had almost folded himself completely into himself on the couch as Kinzie and Pierce went at each other's throats. He had never been good at dealing with situations like these. Yelling and screaming freaked him out. He could always feel the tension and emotions in the room rise when things like this happened and all he wanted to do was hide and he hated it. Most of the time, he hated how childlike he was and how easily panicked he could be. Matt wanted nothing more than to prove himself as an adult but his skittish personality made him react on more flight than fight and right now, he wanted to flee.

"If you guys could just let go of your fucking pride-" but Kinzie and Pierce both stopped their argument when a familiar hum met their ears. All three Saints turned to the monitor beside the couch and watched as Johnny's form morphed through the simulation door, followed by the Boss.

Pierce's stomach dropped so hard, he could swear it was on the floor. The last person he expected to let this happen was him, but there he was, leading the Boss into the park. He was practically fuming beneath his hat and quickly turned on his heel, exiting the cargo bay quickly. Kinzie rushed over to the monitor, keeping it muted so they couldn't be heard as she watched, both anxious and reluctant. Johnny turned his head in Kinzie's direction, knowing she was watching them and her and Matt stared at the monitor. They could feel Johnny's piercing gaze and they knew what it meant. This was their only shot to do what they needed and if they fucked it up, that was it.

They had ONE shot.

As Kinzie popped her knuckles and prepared to execute the plan, Matt took a deep breath and turned to the doors.

"Where are you going?" Kinzie quickly asked. "As much as I don't want to say it, I need your help here." He nodded quickly.

"I-I know. I'm just going to grab a bottle of water. Do you want one?" he asked. Kinzie furrowed her brow and shook her head, seeing Matt's evident frazzled state.

"No, I'm good. Come back quick. We have a short window of opportunity to pull this off and Johnny isn't gonna give us another one", she said as she turned back to the screen.

"Got it", Matt murmured as he stepped into the kitchen area beside the cargo bay. The second Matt was close to the counter, he leaned against it and took deep breaths, rubbing a hand over his forehead. He had always been a nervous person, but he knew that what he had been feeling lately wasn't just a little nervousness. This was anxiety. Full blown anxiety and it was not doing him any good in their current situation. Was this how the Boss felt?

"So, when are you lot going to come clean to the rest of us?" he heard a familiar voice say. In his attempts to settle himself, he failed to see his fellow MI6 agent come around the corner. Then again, as stealthy as she was, he still would've missed her even if he was paying attention. But that wasn't his concern.

"Wh-what do you m-"

"Cut the shit, Matt. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I've already heard everything Gat had to say regarding the Boss and her strange behaviors. I'm fully aware of these videos and such that you have. I'm simply wondering when you all planned to tell all of us that there was something wrong with the Boss", she said. Matt frowned and lightly glared at her.

"Of course you heard. Correct me if I'm wrong, Asha, but I clearly recall coming to you with the concern of our Boss's well being to which you lacked any type of interest whatsoever. There's no 'coming clean' when I never kept a secret in the first place. You brushed it off, I stopped informing you as I said I would. Simple as that", he said as he grabbed a water bottle from the counter he leaned against and looked at Asha with a frown before heading back into the cargo bay, taking a quick swallow from the bottle and getting to work.

Asha was quite impressed with Matt's sudden ability to find his spine when being put into a cornered position like that. She could even say proud.

But the boy still needed to watch himself when speaking to her.

Pierce was practically stomping towards the pod room, causing Shaundi to lift her head and call after him, the shift in his demeanor evident.

"Pierce! What's going on? Where are you going?" she asked. He stopped and turned to her, his fists clenched tightly.

"I'm goin' to punch Gat in the face while he's under in the simulation since it's probably the only fuckin' chance I'mma get without him hittin' me back!" he yelled. Shaundi's brow furrowed and she rose from her spot beside Keith, who also stood.

"Why are you going to punch Johnny? What happened?" Pierce's jaw clenched.

"Because he fuckin' did it, Shaundi. He led the Boss back into the simulation. They're in it right now." Keith let out a deep sigh.

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me."

"I miss real guns, Johnny", the Boss said as they wandered the streets and she looked down at the D3th Blossoms in her hands. "Real metal and gun powder. Kickback after firing bullets. I miss that shit." She lightly chuckled to herself. "But this is still pretty sweet, too."

"Yea, well, I don't think you wanna try firin' rounds in the ship unless you want the vacuum of space to turn you into an inside out sock", he said.

They simply walked around for a short while, looking around at the city. The city the Boss took from the Syndicate. The city Johnny never got to see in person because of the alien fuckwad that was currently rotting somewhere (she totally forgot what they did with the body but the head was being kept in a jar of goo. You know, as a trophy).

"Well, since this is the closest you'll get to Steelport until we can figure out the whole time travel deal, what do you think?" the Boss asked as they strolled through the main strip. The bright neon lights reflected off of Johnny's glasses as he looked around at everything now that he could without worry of aliens attacking and he nodded.

"Gotta admit, it's a far cry from the Row we grew up on. Haven't seen a rust bucket lemon or overgrown concrete slab anywhere", he said. "And the people here are a lot better lookin', too."

"Yea, but I think that's just because there's an Image As Designed on almost every fucking corner around here." Johnny raised a brow and looked at her.

"And how the hell does everyone around here have the spare change for fuckin' cosmetic surgery?" The Boss shrugged as she drop kicked a can into the back of a program's head.

"Cause practically every other person in Steelport was selling either drugs or ass. The real question is how do you not if everyone's willing to shell out ungodly amounts of money just to get laid or high as a kite every now and then", she stated. "That's where a good chunk of our income was coming from while we were taking over. Sex sells-well, SOLD better than any product we ever came up with, so when we got Zimos on our crew, the money started flowing like water. Helped that the hos were actually attractive." The Boss's eyes wandered around at all of the programs passing them by and she relaxed a bit until something caught her peripheral vision. A program leaned back against the wall had began to fizzle and blur, which didn't bother her until the colors settled and she realized the colors weren't the same. She quickly jerked her head to the right and saw the program leaned up against the wall with a cigarette in hand and her face staring back at her from beneath it's hood.

"Wh-what the fuck...?" she murmured as her eyes widened and she moved away from it. "Johnny, do you see-", but when she turned her head, he was gone and her brain told her now was the time to panic. "Johnny? Where'd you go? Johnny?!"

"Johnny's not here", the program said to her in her own voice, frustrating the Boss. She held her gun up to the program, keeping it aimed on it's head but it simply chuckled as it flicked away the cigarette and shoved it's hands into it's jacket pockets while slowly approaching her.

"Hehehehe. You're so funny. How many times have you wanted to shoot me?" it said, taunting her. The Boss clenched her jaw, trying to keep her composure.

"Shut the fuck up." The program rolled it's eyes with a large smirk and stepped closer before leaning it's head against the barrel of her gun.

"What? You don't wanna talk about the suicidal daydreams you always had of blowing a shotgun until the walls were painted with your brain and skull bits? Or what about the ones of you diving off a bridge and becoming pudding once you smack the water's surface? I'm sure you didn't tell Johnny, or anyone, about those. You have such a vivid imagination. Ya know, my favorite one is the one you actually attempted. Remember that? It happened right aft-" The Boss squeezed the trigger of her D3th Blossom and held it down as it rapidly fired round after round through the program's forehead, causing blood to fly everywhere. She let go of the trigger, expecting the body to fall, but it stayed firmly in place and stood straight, cocking it's head to the right, nothing but a bloody, gory hole from the hairline to the middle of the bridge of it's nose facing her.

"Guess you don't wanna talk about it, huh? Hehehe. All of the times you imagined what your body would look like when it was found. IF it was found at all. Probably something similar to this, really", it said, the grin on it's face spreading. "But that would only be if they found you soon enough, say a couple hours after and if you settled on the whole gun method."

"Get the fuck away from me!" she yelled, pointing both smgs at the programs chest and holding down the triggers. The programs body violently jerked around with each hit and blood flew everywhere but it remained standing the whole time. The sickening grin on it's face remained as it suddenly crumpled to the ground, it's head making a hollow crack sound as it met concrete, the rest of what remained in the sides of it's skull spilling.

She backed away slowly, trying to keep her breathing calm until her back hit something and she quickly turned, her guns up automatically. Another doppleganger of her stood there, the same unnerving grin on it's face as the last, but this one was different. It's skin was completely grey and any shine her hair possessed was completely stripped in the lookalikes, along with her eye color. Her red and brown irises were milky, making them look almost blue. Her pale lips shifted into a familiar smirk as she took casual steps forward.

"But if you went along with the whole bleeding out thing, like you've contemplated so many other times, it'd probably look a little something like this. You know, once your body went totally cold and stiffened up and considering how you normally keep every room you sit in below fucking freezing, you'd probably be fairly well preserved. Although, maybe a bit...bluer", it said, it's joints making stomach curling creaks and pops as it moved.

The Boss kept her guns up as she carefully walked backwards away from the program, biting her lip in an attempt to keep a grip on her nerves but it was getting hard. She could feel her heart practically thumping against her ribs and sweat bead at her temples.

Panic.

"You two better be fuckin' doin' somethin' right now!" Johnny yelled as he held the Boss's limp avatar in his arms.

As they talked about Steelport and how different it was from Stilwater, he noticed the Boss suddenly stop talking and turned to see what had happened. At first, she simply stood there, eyes looking straight ahead at nothing as if she were frozen, but then, she violently jerked around a couple of times and began to fall. Johnny managed to catch her and he knew what was happening. The program took the bait.

"We are, I promise! We're working as fast as we can, just keep an eye on her avatar! Her mind is still linked to it!" Matt said in an attempt to reassure Johnny.

"Well, I wasn't really plannin' on leavin' her lyin' around!" Johnny bit back, more out of frustration than anything. Kinzie and Matt both knew that but they also knew better than to test Johnny's patience in their current situation. The sound of an alarm going off caught Johnny's attention and he looked up when he heard Matt murmur a quick 'oh, shit'.

"Oh, no", Kinzie said. "Johnny, take the Boss and head to a door as fast as you can."

He didn't take the time to ask why and hoisted the Boss into his arms before sprinting towards the closest door he could find.

"Kinzie, what's goin' on?!" he yelled as he ran.

"The Boss's heart rate skyrocketed and set off the alarm in her simulation pod", she said, her voice nervous. Johnny knew what that meant. "Johnny, we aren't going to be able to keep this under wraps anymore-"

"I know", he quickly said, not wanting to acknowledge the inevitable at the moment. As Johnny approached the door, he slowed down a bit. "Kinzie, I found a door. What do you-"

"Don't go through it yet!" she yelled. He frowned and looked up.

"If the Boss's heart rate is screamin' and everyone's wondering what the fuck is goin' on, I think we need to get through that door."

"Not yet! If you cut off the connection too abruptly, it'll fry her brain! I'm almost done, just stay by that door! I think we might have something!"

"You fuckin' better have something! I'm not doin' this again! This is your only chance!"

He wasn't fucking kidding. He set up his best friend in the hopes it would help but he knew what it may cost him and it was too steep a price for 'might' and 'maybe'.

Johnny wanted results.

The Boss sat in the middle of the street, her head buried in her knees and covered by her arms, her guns still in hand. Bodies surrounded her in almost a mandala like pattern with blood connecting them all and her own grinning face stared back at her 20 fold.

They wouldn't stop coming at her. They wouldn't stop talking. They wouldn't stop...reminding. She was panicked. She was tense.

And she was tired.

Tired of being tortured by her own brain and thoughts and this sick, twisted simulation that didn't seem to want to give her a break.

She didn't even bother to budge when footsteps approached her and stopped right in front of her before crouching down to her level and pulling her arms off her head. She knew it was another one. Another copycat. It put it's hands on the sides of her head and tilted her head back before making her look up as it grabbed her chin.

"Enough fucking around, sweetie", it said in her voice, using her smirk. Her face. Speaking her thoughts. "You know what you have to do."

At first, the Boss said nothing and looked up at it, her eyes exhausted as she slowly blinked. The copycat looked back into her eyes in a way that almost made it seem as if it were trying to pick her brain through her pupils.

"Let's not pretend you don't know what I'm talking about-" but the program fell before her as she fired a shotgun round into it's face, blowing it's head off it's shoulders. She stared at the body for a minute before replacing the shotgun with her six shooter and adjusting the barrel into her mouth.

"JOHNNY, GO NOW!" Matt screamed and Johnny dove through the door with the Boss tightly in his arms.

The Boss at first couldn't register anything after literally falling out of the simulation pod, hyperventilating continuously. Colors and sounds didn't register right and was all a muddled up mess of confusion. It took her a few seconds but as she blinked and shook her head, she began to put everything together.

Loud. Yelling. There was yelling. Everyone was yelling.

"And you kept this shit from us?! The fuck is wrong with you?! You don't keep secrets in a crew! You don't keep secrets from yo homies! That's how the Vice Kings fell!"

Ben? That was Ben. Ben was yelling.

"The only reason we didn't want everyone to know was because the Boss didn't even want us to know! Johnny was the only one that was supposed to!"

Kinzie. Kinzie and Ben were yelling at each other.

"Guys, please! Now isn't the time for this!"

Matt. Matt was trying to stop the yelling.

"And when would be the time for this, Matt? When you've done a full psychological evaluation of the Boss after her brains have gone to mush?"

Asha. Asha was mad at Matt.

"It's not like you even gave a shit in the first place, lady, so why the fuck you wanna act hurt now?!"

Pierce. Pierce was angry. Pierce had never been angry before.

"Pierce, it's not even worth it, just back up and cool off."

Shaundi. Shaundi was trying to get Pierce to calm down.

"Come on, brotha. Let's all just sit back and chill for a second. This is a lot for us to be dealin' with right now."

Keith. Keith was backing Shaundi up and trying to settle the crew.

"Quite correct. In fact, based on my data, if the Boss's heart rate went any higher, she could've gone into cardiac arrest. Would you like to see the heart monitor read out?"

CID. CID was being CID.

"No, you fuckin' glorified speaker box. Nobody wants to see the fuckin' readout, now shut the fuck up unless you're gonna be useful."

Johnny. Johnny was...holding onto her.

Her eyes adjusted and she could see the floor slightly obscured by a shoulder. She began to register touch as she realized her hands were clinging to Johnny, her left on his right shoulder and her right on his left bicep. Her face was against his left shoulder and her eyes began to wander the room, the colors finally realigning and making sense again. Flashes of what happened in the simulation flew before her eyes and her hyperventilation got worse, her hands tightening on Johnny's suit as dizziness started to make the room screwy again. The rest of the crew began to quiet down as they heard her heavy breaths and looked around at each other, distressed and anxious as they knew they could do nothing at the moment.

"Boss", she heard Johnny say. She couldn't respond. "Boss, I need ya to listen to me and calm down." She wanted to respond. Wanted to tell him she couldn't no matter how badly she wanted to but the inability to speak only made the panic worse as her hands twisted into his suit, making her stitches strain.

Johnny racked his brain, trying to think of something to get her to calm down before she either had a heart attack or passed out. It took him a second but he managed to come up with something.

"Boss, can you hear me?" He felt her head go up and down against his shoulder as she desperately clinged to him. "Okay, look, I need you to do somethin' for me, okay? You listenin'?" Again, she shook her head, leaning her forehead against his shoulder fully as the dizziness got worse. "Alright, Boss. I need ya to breathe with me, okay? In through the nose, out through the mouth. Think you can handle that?" This time, she shook her head no. Her mind was too steeped in the panic to register anything remotely calming. "Come on, Boss, I need you to do this for me. I'll do it with you if I gotta, but I need you to do this." Johnny was beginning to feel the panic as well, but he kept himself in check. It wouldn't be the first time he had to keep his shit under control in a tight situation and he was a master at keeping a pokerface. Though at this point, it was really being put to the test. "Come on. I need you to do this with me." He took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled, trying to get her to copy him. "You've been blown up and shot before, I know you can handle breathing, Boss."

The rest of the crew watched nervously at what was playing out. The toughest man in practically the entire galaxy was trying to bring the soul surviving leader of the human race down from a panic attack and at that point, everything started becoming clear.

"This is what we didn't want you to see. What she didn't want you to see", Kinzie quietly said to the rest of the crew by her side. She turned to them and saw how uncomfortable and tense they had become. Pierce had seated himself at a monitor, his head leaned against his hand and his shoulders tense. Asha had leaned against the wall and crossed her arms, looking at the floor to keep her face steeled. Each crew member remained quiet as they watched what was playing out.

"One more time, try it", Johnny said, holding onto the Boss. He took a deep breath and let it out and felt her back rise and fall beneath his hand rapidly. "Slower. Come on. Slow down just a little bit." The Boss tried again, her breathing still rapid. At first, each breath she took was riddled with hiccups and her hands winding in Johnny's suit, not even feeling how the stitches in her hands were pulling the more she clenched her fists in frustration at the lack of control she had over her body. "You're gettin' there. Keep goin'", he said, continuing the deep breaths. The Boss's breaths slowed a bit more as she kept trying to copy Johnny's breaths and the dizziness started to fade away. The slower her breaths, the clearer her vision became, allowing her to process that her vision was blurry because her eyes had been watering so much during her panic attack. Johnny continued to breathe with her, not even thinking about whether or not he looked like a pussy or if it looked like he'd gone soft. Reputation didn't matter right now. His Boss and best friend mattered right now. A few more moments and her breathing was finally normal again. The hyperventilation stopped and she went a bit limp in his hold, causing him to worry again, but he saw that she was still awake and by the looks of it, absolutely exhausted.

Nobody said anything. Everything they had just seen was almost too much to take in and they could all practically feel the Boss's sudden drain. As the Boss began to look around her, she lifted her head and drew back a bit from Johnny, seeing the worried looks on her crew's faces. She was so exhausted, but she could still feel herself grow cold, knowing they had just witnessed what she was trying so hard for so long to hide. But how?

"Why...why are you all in here?" she slowly asked. Everyone looked around at each other for a moment, trying to decide who would speak first.

"Your heart rate went up while you were in the simulation and the alarm went off", Matt said, hoping that would put an end to the questioning before it could go further. But it didn't.

"How did you know I was in the simulation in the first place?" she asked.

"You two were the only ones plugged into it", Kinzie answered. The Boss looked at the two geniuses for a moment, her expression blank.

"And if that's the case, why didn't you guys take me out of it first instead of Johnny catching me?"

Matt swallowed and felt a chill down his back. It was inevitable. He looked to Johnny and Johnny looked back. They both knew it. She was gonna figure it out.

"You guys...were watching, weren't you?"

Nobody responded. Her eyes turned to Johnny and back to Kinzie and Matt.

"You knew they'd be watching...didn't you, Johnny? You said before they'd be busy with something else and...and you were out before I was. They could've taken me out and that would've been it but...everyone is in here. Everyone...everyone knows now..." Realization dawned on her and her expression became void of anything and everything as she rose on her own, pushing Johnny's hands away from her and backing away. Johnny rose as well and took a step forward, knowing what was about to happen.

"Boss-"

"You set me up..."

Shaundi clenched her eyes shut and went to the front of the crew, putting a hand on Pierce's shoulder to get his attention.

"We need to go, guys", she said. Nobody said anything more or objected as they all left the room, leaving Johnny and the Boss to talk.

Thanks for reading this (if by some chance people ARE still reading this).

Please review. It really helps and I appreciate it when people tell me their thoughts.

Thank you.