Sirius
"But sir!"
"No."
"I don't want to go there. Why can't I just start studying? You know about my situation, right?"
"Yes, I'm aware."
"So?"
"The answer is still no, Sirius."
"It's just unreasonable."
"It's the law. And you are not a lawyer."
"Right! As I am no social whore."
"No, that would have made me your pimp."
Sirius was quiet for a long time, that finally shut him up. "Yeah.." he said slowly.
Moody had come this morning with Kingsley with some serious business. Kingsley had been smiling and Sirius had felt some ruse. That's the introduction.
Now, he was telling him he had to come to some social event, because, supposedly, he had been accepted, due to some refrained exam probably, to Theory Training – which, according to them, was really a big deal. It was beginning of March and nobody had ever mentioned anything about some higher level of training or whatever. If they had, he might have felt obliged to celebrate.
Now, he was more confused and cross than anything else.
It would destroy his non-existing social status. More or less, he was dead for the public. And he made a home in his coffin. Vampire's home.
"It's not the time to worry yet. It's at the end of May."
"And why are you telling me this now?" It just didn't make sense.
"So you could arrange everything for your safety."
"I am safe now."
"I know, that's why I am telling you, so you could be safe even after."
"It doesn't make any sense!"
Mad-Eye lost his patience. "It is what it is, Sirius. That's the end of this conversation, if you want to be an Auror, you will be at the registration."
And with that, he apparated elsewhere.
That conversation was probably also the end of his peace. He had been trained by Kingsley for months. To decipher a curse made by dark magic, to track invisible marks of magic. To mute even the most difficult spells…
He had always been excited about the ways Kingsley led him when he had talked with Becky. However, this time, he complained and complained. She, herself, was pretty stressed and his lamenting was too much for her and she slammed the cradle.
/
Remus
His day dragged. There were about three customers during his whole day and he spent most of his time checking his already checked bills. He finally had made it and had found himself a better job. He was now an accountant at the Flourish and Blotts. Accountant and shop assistant, when the shop rarely needed an assistant.
They didn't let him work during the rush shifts – at the end of August or before Christmas. They didn't want anyone to acknowledge they had hired a werewolf. Remus didn't mind, though. He didn't like rush anyway.
He was used to reading during his free moments, but his last book choice was very bad and that was a sign, pleading for a break.
When the time came and he could finally close the shop, his head was hammering with nothing and he couldn't decide whether that was good or bad. He apparated home and there was silence. He was now used to so much silence. And every time he realised that, his soul jumped with joy. Marlene and Peter were working until six today and that gave Remus about one full hour of the free apartment. He decided to cook. His mother failed in this education and his attempts were poor in the best. He didn't care. And neither his mates.
He made something with mushrooms and potatoes and thyme. It smelled better than it tasted, but it was sort of improvement. Last time he cooked, the potatoes were burnt.
"It smells like in a restaurant, Remus!" Marlene cried with amusement. "Have you had a delivery?"
"Aren't you hungry?" Remus teased back.
"You bet!"
It was just after the dinner when the post came. And it was Peter who rose to get it.
"Hey, Remus? You have some relatives in the States?"
/
Sirius
This ceiling has a colour of dead skin, Sirius noticed. It has the same colour as my heels. Oh, well. I should probably use some pumice. He was studying his feet in the position that will keep remind him that tomorrow when he heard some noise.
He stepped into the foyer and was all ears when he heard it again. It was a hesitant doorbell. Like when somebody doesn't push it properly so it just raucously rattles.
He narrowed his eyes and very quietly stepped closer to the door.
"Who is it?" He asked and put out his wand.
"It's Remus. Remus Lupin."
Sirius's wand slipped through his fingers and he was undertaking his another breakdown.
"What.. what do you want?" He managed.
"I came… I wanted to-"
"How did you get here?"
"I walked."
Sirius almost rolled his eyes. He leaned against the wall beside the door. "How did you get this address?"
"Oh, well…" There was a little fuss and then he noticed a white spot on the floor. Paper. Remus slipped some note under his door. It was his address. "She gave it to me."
She? "That bitch!" Sirius cried in the whisper tone he used for swearing.
"I want to apologize."
Sirius pouted his lips in mockery. "Oh, of course, you want."
"I do. I'm truly sorry. I… She explained me some things."
"Did she?"
"She did."
Sirius was silent. He didn't ask for any of it.
"This is ridiculous. And childish. Open the door, Sirius, please."
He was really considering he would turn away and go to bed and stay there until it would be safe to go out. He did turn away, went to his bedroom and grabbed his dressing gown. Then he grabbed the wand from the floor, took a breath and opened the door with the deepest frown he could manage. Frankly, he just wanted to see him.
"So?" He asked.
Remus lifted his eyebrows. His face was red; like he would be running.
"You wanted something?"
Remus took an exasperated sniff. "I wanted to say I am sorry. I owe you an apology. It was cruel, the way I behaved. She.. ehm.. Rebecca wrote me a letter, yesterday. She explained me your situation." Somewhere in the middle of his speech Remus lost his temper and started to seem sincere, almost shy. He rubbed his face and pulled the sleeves of his jumper. In the end, he looked around and added: "Can I just step inside?"
"Have somebody followed you?" He asked, suddenly startled, and pulled him inside by his elbow.
"No, I don't think so."
Sirius slammed the door and waited with an ear on it. He heard nothing.
"How many people have you told about this place?"
"What? No-one!"
"Where have you apparated?"
"I haven't. I told you I had walked. She gave me a special instruction, I followed all of it."
They were and weren't really staring at each other for a while. Sirius shifted his weighed and his engrained politeness broke the quiet.
"Do you want some coffee, tea… anything?"
"No no no… don't bother…" Remus hugged himself.
Sirius's mind was throwing its arms in the air. What the hell is he doing here?
"Actually, tea would be great."
He quickly turned to the kitchen and tied his gown tighter around himself.
"English Breakfast, Gunpowder, Mint, Chamomile?" He wondered if Remus noticed his fake tea expertise, how much he didn't want to say Black in front of him.
"Mint's fine, thanks."
Sirius nodded and put the tea bag into a cup. No fancy.
"So? What did she tell you?" He didn't really want to know, but the silence was unbearable.
"Well, firstly she gave me a talk, which I totally deserved. Then she was saying something about your ambitions, about your family…" Remus was now leaning against the kitchen table with arms crossed and eyes set on the floor. "I'm so sorry, I was stupid and-"
"I heard you the first time." Sirius hesitated, still facing the sink. "Why are you here, Remus? You just apologized, like for the third time. Your mission is done. You don't have to politely stick around."
"You just invited me for a tea." Remus tried to smile, but his mimics failed in the process.
"Don't play stupid with me, okay?"
Remus bit his lip. "How can you stand it?" He asked.
That was confusing, Sirius thought. "What?"
"No magic," Remus said and for clarifying he pointed to the kettle. Sirius touched it. It was still cold.
"I don't stand it. I enjoy it." Sirius turned around and took the same position like Remus, trying his best interrogation look. Where is his detective lamp when he needs it? "Did she ask you to keep me company? Well, you don't owe me anything. And I'm not that pathetic."
"No, she didn't say any of that sort."
"So what did she tell you?" He was scared. Scared that she went too far.
Remus patiently rubbed his palms and put them into his pockets. "She just told me about your situation, she said I was unfair and cruel, she gave me your address if I wanted to make things right."
"Right?"
"She meant to go and apologize. And she was right. I'm not usually that blind or heartless."
Sirius knew. And he frowned. "Again, Remus. What do you want?" He was doing it again. Being sharp and ruthless – he saw the way Remus shifted and covered his ribcage with his arms. How he looked everywhere but him and his face was all stony. He didn't want to go that way, though. He won't do the same mistake again.
"I want to be your friend," he finally said.
Sirius didn't have words for that.
"And…" Remus said slowly, glancing at him. "I wanted to ask you out." Now he said it. His face was a funny expression of his guts and panic. All perfectly engraved and stony.
Sirius didn't believe him. His eyebrows met and he put his hands into the pockets of his robe. "I can't go out."
Remus blinked. "Why?"
"Because. I am grounded."
The corners of Remus's lips twitched. "Okay…"
Sirius nodded and took the kettle off the cooker. He drowned their tea bags and put it aside.
"So I could take some dinner here."
"I don't really understand why you are doing this. You can't just change your opinion about somebody so quickly, Remus. It just doesn't work like that."
"Exactly! I want to get to know you."
Sirius put their cups on the table but moved away to the window. "You lived with me for seven years! You should know me already!"
"You are right," Remus nodded, but his face made clear, he is not prepared to lose this quarrel. "I should. But I don't. I have absolutely no idea who you are." He nodded again. "And somehow, it's really wrong."
"I don't care if you don't know me," Sirius lied. "You can't just ask people out for your better conscience!"
"I don't." Remus folded his arms. "I didn't ask you for my better conscience."
Sirius sighed and bowed his head. "And why did you ask me?"
Remus shrugged. "Because I wanted to."
"Because you wanted to," Sirius repeated with a tired voice.
"Second chance. That's all I'm asking."
Is there some way you can get a date out of an argument?
"You can't," Sirius said. Remus looked at him with narrowed eyelids. "You can't have a second chance when you didn't have the first one."
Sirius was tired. Very much tired. He was tired of always taking the hard way.
"And can I have the first one?"
Something had to sell him out when he was studying Remus's face – when he couldn't decide whether he is really earnest or just affected – because Remus smiled.
Sirius looked away and pouted.
"I could bring some film," Remus offered.
"I don't have a TV." Sirius put his hands in his pockets again and the tie on his gown loosened. He didn't bother to fasten it again.
"I will figure something out."
Sirius shrugged. He didn't understand why was he doing it. He didn't feel like hoping or giving himself into something. It felt more like… okay, get over with it, so I could get back to my own lonely life.
"What about Friday? Are you busy? Friday evening?"
Sirius sneered. "Do I look like somebody who is busy Friday evening?"
"Wonderful," Remus smirked. "So, it's all settled, then." He sipped his tea and then drank it all at once. "See you, Sirius. Thanks for the tea." He turned around and vanished. Muggle way vanished.
Sirius wondered when Remus lost his shyness.