When Ziva was changing her life, the investigation of a drug overdosed victim was rather silent. Everyone seemed to have fallen deep into their own thoughts, even Ducky and Palmer. They did they work in silence and occasionally said something to one another to keep the work going on smoothly.

"TOD, Duck," Gibbs asked and turned a fresh page of his notepad.

"Jethro, I know I am good, but -"

"TOD, doctor," Gibbs insisted until he got the answer that was 0210 AM. He turned the body a bit and saw the bullet holes that went through at through.

"What do you think, doctor?" Gibbs pointed the wounds.

"I think, Mr. Palmer should get me the gurney already, so that I could get this poor fellow on my autopsy table," Ducky said and looked at behind him, "Mr. Palmer -"

"Right here, Doctor," Palmer smiled slightly and pushed the gurney near the body.

Gibbs watched how they lifted the lifeless body on the gurney.

Palmer pushed the gurney back to the truck but Ducky didn't follow him - he turned around and looked at Gibbs, "Are you okay?"

"Don't ask stupid questions, Ducky. It's too early for that," Gibbs said dryly and walked away, never even giving the doctor to chance to ask a follow up question.

"Boss, I took the pictures and now what?" Tony walked to Gibbs who was leaning against car and looking frustratedly at his phone.

"And I have the fingerprint," McGee came to stand beside Tony.

"Damn this thing isn't working again!" Gibbs barked and threw his phone to McGee, "Reboot it and after that, send everything you know to Ziva, so she can already start backgrounding the victim. And then, you both, get in the car!"

McGee looked at his boss' phone, "Put the power on the next time," he said and threw it back to Gibbs, before sitting in the backseat because Tony screamed 'shotgun'.

After returning to the headquarters, Tony, McGee and Gibbs walked to the squad room and wondered where Ziva was.

"Maybe she's in the hit," Tony thought and even though he didn't show it, he was very concerned about his partner's well being. He knew something was bothering her. He could feel it and see it so clearly, but he was afraid to ask because he thought he might be the problem himself.

"No, she's not," McGee knew and watched how Ziva came down the stairs, "What was she doing there?"

"Gibbs?" Ziva rushed to the squad room with papers in her hand.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you, in private," she said and nodded her way to somewhere where they could be alone.

Gibbs didn't answer, he just stood up and followed her lead.

Tony and McGee looked them and wondered what was going on.

"Do you know anything about this, probie?" Tony asked.

"No. Do you?" McGee asked back.

"No," Tony said and thought he had just shed a little white lie, because this all might be about him and what he briefly had had with Ziva. Maybe the momentary fun was now sabotaging everything.

"I wanted to tell this to you first," Ziva said and sat down on a chair in the conference room. She put the papers on the table and kept a close eye on them and her boss. She cleared her throat and took as comfortable position on the chair as she could, because this was not going to be easy.

"Tell me what, Ziva?" Gibbs asked and was tempted to look at the papers on the table, but focused on his agent first.

"You know, that even in this current situation, I am always thankful for you," she said and bit her lip. She looked nervous and kept gazing at the floor every now and then, "You came to save my life and you rescued me. I know you were not the only one to do so, but you were still there. You brought me back here, back home," she kept explaining, "And that is why I am thankful."

"What are you trying to say?" Gibbs didn't have an idea where she was heading, but that was a blessing in disguise at that moment.

"I am trying to say that I am having a hard time to deal with all of this and I am not just talking about Tony and me, or what it caused between him and me and you and me, but all of this in general. I feel like I am lost and I need a direction and I need it badly," Ziva said and it almost hurt her to look at her boss' blue eyes and pour this all to him, "When I was in Colombia, I had a talk with Monique. She said I should do something else with my life when I still have a chance. She lost hers years ago and told me how much she regretted it. And it all made me think, that -"

Gibbs barely had courage to breathe and Ziva felt like she was about to break him apart.

"That this might be my time, to change things," she breath out and pushed the papers closer to Gibbs, "Those are papers for a temporary leave of absence and they are affected immediately after you sign them".

Gibbs looked at the papers and then Ziva. He wished he could smack some sense into her, but he felt like it would be in vain, so instead of that he just looked at her and tried to think of just how lost she had to be even suggest this.

"I need change, Gibbs, because I am losing myself into all this," she said and felt her eyes turning glassy, "I do not know who I am anymore".

"So you decide to escape?" he asked quietly.

"No, Gibbs," she shook her head, "This time, I am choosing me," she smiled sadly and felt how tears formed in the corner of her eyes and then ran down on her cheeks, "I need to do this".

"We can figure this out in here, without you or any of us leaving," Gibbs said and looked at her and then the papers in front of him. He looked at Ziva's and Vance's signatures and felt like everything had happened behind his back. He had no idea what had happened in Colombia and when he realized that something actually was going on in between Tony and Ziva, it had already been too late - but none of those acknowledgments didn't hurt as much as the fact, that Ziva had decided this all by herself. She had carried all this weight on her shoulders and didn't even bother to tell him - or was maybe some of this his fault too? He was so busy barking at her about the rules that he had missed the pain Ziva was going through.

"We cannot," she knew better and tried to dry her stubborn tears.

"Did you think about the team at all?" Gibbs asked and still tried to grasp the concept of her leaving.

"I did," Ziva answered, "I am doing this for them too. I need to figure out my own life before I can decide whether to be part of this family again".

"You can't do this. No, you - you can't do this," Gibbs repeated.

"You have to sign them," Ziva said.

"I won't," he hesitated.

"Then I do this without your permission," Ziva said and stood up. She was trying to gather the papers back to herself when Gibbs stopped her.

"You'll break this family," he said, "And we're all you have in here. The real family of yours is somewhere you are not".

Ziva smiled a sad smile and shed another tear, "I know, but I am still doing this".

When Gibbs noticed that her mind was made, he wrote his name on the papers, allowing Ziva her leave of absence and allowing the team to break apart.

"I am sorry," she said and sobbed.

Gibbs touched her cheek and dried her tears, "Me too".

So... Any thoughts? Are you in a some state of shock or what? Tell me.
I told you to keep an open mind and jesus christ, I hope you all keep it like that till the end!
Thank you for the PM's and reviews! I appreciate them all! See you in next chapter xo

~ L