Yeah, quick update whoot. I seem to get an influx of reviews within two days, and then utter silence HAHA.
Anway. The arrival of Satan! (finally)
The elevator doors opened, allowing classy jazz to filter out into the lobby, and the angel and demon stepped inside. Alfred took a look at the panel of buttons. "Do the numbers go higher as you go deeper into Hell?" he asked. Feliciano nodded.
"We're on the first floor now. But look, that right there," he indicated a finger to the very lowest button, "is level 999. The Devil's office."
Alfred frowned and looked at the army of buttons. Excluding the lowest level, there were exactly 665 floors. "Why is his number 999? Why not 666? It would make sense. Plus there's the whole 'number of the beast' thing. 666 is sort of his signature, isn't it?"
Feliciano shrugged his shoulders again. "I think Francis said once that He doesn't want to be associated with that number. It is too cliché. Francis says that perhaps He is just trying to break out of the stereotype that has become His. Or, maybe, they installed the button upside down. I don't know."
The doors opened again as they reached their destination. Floor number 999 was a simple enough affair. It was furnished to the bare minimum, but tastefully so. The walls were black. The furniture was black. Everything, really, was black. Except for the carpet, which was white. Alfred wondered what the reasoning behind this was. Wouldn't the carpet just get dirty anyway? Perhaps it was enchanted so that wouldn't happen. Or perhaps all who entered the Devil's office were commanded to wipe their feet first, on pain of everlasting torture. Alfred couldn't help but imagine what it was like when God was down here. He would probably trail dirt all over the floor just to be annoying.
Ever since Lucifer had left Heaven and changed His name to Satan, the Devil had been kind of a sore spot for God. With good reason, one would imagine.
Alfred shook his head to clear his thoughts. He knew that he was just allowing himself to drift off into a world of nonsense to distract himself from what felt like impending danger. Every step he took towards the door to the Devil's private office felt like stepping on daggers. Well, figuratively. His stomach seemed to have fallen out of his body somewhere in the lift, and for some reason his hands had suddenly decided that there was not enough moisture in the world and they should do their part to help out.
Next to him, Feliciano had gone from merely shivering to a full-blown shake. Alfred could almost hear the poor boy's knees knocking together. For the sake of them both, Alfred steeled himself and put on his best smile. The smile of a hero.
Had it been anyone else, Alfred would have entered straight away, but despite not being the sharpest knife in the drawer, Alfred did not have a death wish. He knocked first on the teak door. Each thump sounded ominous.
"Enter." The voice that answered was pleasant, but Alfred thought he felt his heart stop for a second. He opened the door. Feliciano tried to bolt, but Alfred held him fast and dragged him into the room.
He did not see the Devil. Instead, all he saw was the back of a chair in a dramatically darkened room. "I've been expecting you," said Satan loftily. The chair swivelled around slowly, very slowly. The Devil was stroking a small black rabbit. He smiled at them, a sweet, paralyzing smile that had Alfred silently praying. In the background, Alfred though he could hear jarring violin music that was making him shake even more. He wondered if he was going mad.
"Oh? Expecting us?" he managed, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. The Devil laughed.
"No, not really. I just like to do that for dramatic effect." He clapped His hands and the lights went on. Initially, Alfred was glad, but he suddenly wished the lights would go back off.
The Devil was a normal-enough looking man. He was big, though. Were He to stand up, Alfred knew the Devil would tower over him. He had a childlike face and platinum blonde hair and dimples, and His smile did not ever fade. Even His voice was pleasant.
But those eyes.
They were grey, so grey they were almost purple. And despite the Devil's smile, His eyes spoke of death. No, perhaps not Death. Death was not a bad person once you got to know Her, even if She was rather morbid (understandibly so, really).
Despair was a better word. Those eyes positively shone. It felt like He was looking right through Alfred, stripping him of everything and baring his soul, checking out his insides and finding out every dark secret Alfred had. Automatically, Alfred felt his hands moving to cover his privates. Feliciano whimpered.
Alfred realised that the music had not stopped. He looked around and realised there was a solemn-faced trio standing in the corner, playing a cello and two violins. Satan noticed Alfred looking at the men. "My personal musicians," He said by way of explanation. "I feel that a ruler is allowed to have a few indulgences, you know? I like to have a soundtrack to my life. I think it's justified. I'm like the Ozzy Osbourne of the Otherworld after all," He laughed softly to himself, making Alfred shudder.
"I remember you," He said suddenly to Feliciano.
Feliciano froze. The Devil smiled. "You gave me this sweet little rabbit," He indicated the -rather squeamish- animal in his lap. Feliciano nodded jerkily. Alfred cleared his throat. The Devil redirected his attention to the angel.
"What can I help you with?" Satan inquired politely, tilting His head toward the chairs situated in front of His desk. On the desk, there was a small placard saying, "BOSS". Alfred noticed that the Devil was dressed for winter.
Forcing his legs to move, Alfred managed to make his way across the room without stumbling, forcibly dragging the poor frightened demon behind him. He sank into the chair, relieved, but immediately regretted it. Sure, it was comfy, but it had brought him within touching distance of Satan oh God what was he even doing here-
Satan cleared His throat. "I sense you have something important to talk about? I trust you would not have come into my office without good reason. I am a busy man, you know," the Devil laughed, but His eyes flashed dangerously. Alfred swallowed.
"Actually, yeah. I'm looking for someone. I've been searching for days now and I haven't gotten anywhere. I thought You might be able to help."
Satan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? This person you're looking for, is he someone I know? He must be important, if it needed an angel to come all the way down to Hell."
"It was my father." Alfred's face turned grim. "He's been missing for ages. The guard at Heaven's gate told me that he saw Arthur being dragged out of Heaven by one of your demons. Judging by his description, I have reason to believe that the demon in question is the Ferryman." Alfred's voice didn't falter once. Mentally, he congratulated himself.
Satan was intrigued. "Really? Arthur, Arthur. I think I have heard of him. He's the Transporter, isn't he? The angelic counterpart to my Francis."
Alfred nodded. Feliciano quaked.
"And you say my demon stole him? Hmm. How very curious. I'm afraid I can't help you, though. Sorry."
Anger very nearly overwhelmed the fear Alfred felt for the Devil. "What do You mean, You can't help me? He's Your demon, shouldn't You be taking notice of what he does?" In the background, the violins became suspenseful.
Satan tilted His head and smiled sweetly, eyes beginning to take on a wicked gleam. "Now, what people do with their private lives has nothing to do with me," He said. "I can't be held responsible for what my employees do. And let me explain something, my poor misplaced angel. Right now, you are in Hell. Bad is good, and good is bad. My employees receive commendations for every evil deed they manage to commit. So, strictly speaking, I cannot punish my demon for kidnapping an angel. I would not want to punish him. Unjust behaviour like this is exactly what we're looking for, here in Hell."
Alfred stood up abruptly, ignoring Feliciano's whimper of protest. "That's all fine and dandy, but frankly speaking I don't give a, dare I say it, damn. I don't care what Your cheesy demons do to get a raise. My dad didn't do anything. For all I know Your demon could have killed him! I'm not asking for much, just tell Your guy to give my dad back!"
"Silence," said Satan, standing up slowly. He towered over both Alfred by at least a foot. He stared the boy down, eyes gleaming a dangerous shade of what could only be called silver. "You would barge into my domain and make demands of me?" His voice took on a very slight warning tone, and Alfred had to fight to keep his knees from buckling in fear. Feliciano had already curled up on himself and started sobbing.
The Devil held Alfred's gaze for a full minute. The angel refused to look away or even blink, even as he felt his insides being turned to ice and his legs turn to jelly. The Devil regarded him unblinkingly. Alfred's eyes began to water, but he forced himself to stare back into the abyss.
Silence.
The Devil laughed. It was light and melodious and very chilling. "You are very brave. Very brave and very stupid. I quite like you, so I will not kill you. As for your father, I have no idea where he is. I don't even know where Francis went. But I have more important things to do than to run after him. If you see them both, tell Francis to get back to work, and tell your father that his son will either go very far, or get killed very early in life."
Alfred could finally blink.
"Now get out of my office before I change my mind about sparing you."
Deciding that it was better not to argue, Alfred grabbed Feliciano and scarpered to a distant reproach of "I was in the middle of an intimidating stand-off and I would appreciate if you would actually play something instead of standing around like a bunch of golems."
The angel shut the door behind him. Feliciano collapsed onto the ground, biting his lip and looking like he was going to burst into tears. He clung to the bottom of Alfred's jacket. Alfred patted him on the head. "Sorry about that, little buddy," he said. His tone was placating, but even as he spoke, he could feel the rage beginning to build up again.
So He was gonna play like that, was He? Wash His hands off of Alfred just like that? Well bugger all. A demon took Arthur, and until his father was found, Alfred would make sure that all of Hell suffered for it.
He didn't know how, but he could figure that out later.
FUCKING PIANO.
FUCKING NEIGHBOURS WITH YOUR TINY FUCKING KID PLAYING MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB OVER AND OVER AGAIN EVERY FUCKING SUNDAY.
REALLY EVERY FUCKING SUNDAY. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB. AND SHE PLAYS IT WRONG.
HOW MENTALLY RETARDED DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO MAKE MISTAKES IN A SONG WITH ONLY THREE NOTES THAT YOU SEEM TO PRACTICE EVERY SUNDAY WITHOUT FAIL.
I solved the problem, though. I screamed at the little asshole to shut the fuck up already. Haven't heard a piano note since. :'D
I'm really a very nice person, you know. I'm not a bad kid. It's just that some things can test the patience of angels. Even more so if you're an angel like Arthur.
Yeah, anyway. How do y'all like Satan? He's kind of a bastard, but then I guess He wouldn't really be the lord of the flies and all that if He were a nice guy.
"Hey, look at that, it's Satan!"
"Oh, he's a really cool guy. Too bad he's got that whole Hell thing going on for him. He's great company, you know?"
"Yeah, he's the kind of guy you can really talk to. My secrets feel really safe with him."
"Plus he makes a mean angel's food cake."
Yeah, no.
Anyway, guess who finally appears in the next chapter? That's right, all the Azns!
Three guesses as to the identity of Death XD Doesn't appear in this story, however.