This chapter is like a Friday night rerun for some. :)

Chapter 12

Winded, Jamie slowed from a steady jog to a brisk walk as he cut through Madison Square Park. He'd run longer than planned and needed to give himself a chance to catch his breath. He wiped the sweat from his face with the hem of his t-shirt before bringing his hands to his hips as he headed to one of the exits. The late afternoon run helped to clear his mind, as exercise normally did for him, but it would be short lived, knowing that his mind would soon be spinning again with everything that had happened over the last several weeks. Jamie was making his way out onto Madison Avenue when he thought he heard his name called from somewhere behind him and turned to scan the park.

"Jamie Reagan!? I thought that was you!" A businessman with a full head of salt and pepper hair walked quickly to catch up to Jamie. "It's good to see you, son," the smiling man said as he extended his hand.

Jamie's eyes widened at the unexpected run-in with Sydney's father. "Mr. Davenport," he panted, his slowing heart rate now jumping back up a few notches. "Wow, uh, sorry, this is a nice surprise," he stammered as he reached out to shake Alan Davenport's hand.

"You're telling me," the older man confirmed. "I'm working out of the Manhattan office this week. I thought I was seeing things when I first caught sight of you. It's been what, almost two years since we've seen each other?"

Jamie nodded, trying his best to hide how thrown off he was by this encounter. "Uh, less than that, actually," he corrected. "Last time I saw you was when I came up to Stamford the year after," he added, looking away as understanding dawned on Alan Davenport's face.

Sydney's father smiled sadly, averting his eyes as well as he replied. "Yes, that's right. Far too long," he trailed off and shook his head as he regarded Jamie. "You look well, son. How's the job treating you? Are you still on patrol?"

"Yeah, still on patrol out of the 12th," Jamie confirmed. They had always gotten along real well, Alan bonding with him pretty much from the get go, jokingly claiming that he was desperate for a new male addition to a family comprised of mostly women. Sydney's father had also been more accepting of his career choice after law school than most everyone else, his own family included. He had been in his corner, telling him he admired the guts it took to follow his heart and had no doubt he'd be able to provide for his daughter. Despite the privileged upbringing he'd provided Sydney and her sisters, Alan Davenport came from humble beginnings and knew money wasn't the most important thing in the world. He had also been vital in helping smooth things over with Sydney's mother after she fixated on him for pulling a bait and switch. But they eventually lost touch after Sydney passed. As well as they had gotten along, life went on and they were each painful reminders of who they had lost.

"It was a hell of a thing with that shooter. I was sorry to hear that an officer died. You were the first person I thought of, Jamie. You were no where near that, were you?" he asked.

Jamie's stomach turned as it always did at the mention of that night. "No, I wasn't," he said.

"That's good. I was glad to hear he was caught. Must be a relief for all of you," Alan said.

"Yeah, it was. Uh, so how's Mrs. Davenport?" he asked in an attempt to change topics.

"Regina? She's good. She's doing a lot better these days. It's a hell of thing to lose a child. Probably no easier than what you went through, I'm sure. It's just hard to believe we're going on three years."

"Yeah."

"How about you? Everything good with you?" the older man asked, seeing the discomfort on Jamie's face.

"Yeah, everything's good," Jamie said, nodding his head as if to back up his statement.

"I'm glad, Jamie," Alan smiled fondly. "Sydney would have wanted nothing more than to see you happy. She loved you so much," he said. "That's what I would tell Regina during her darkest days. My baby girl would not have wanted any of us living in some shroud of sadness, but I guess sometimes it just takes time for us to accept that. And you gotta have something to live for too. You're lucky, son, to have your family, and I have no doubt that someday someone as special as Sydney will come into your life again."

Jamie bit his lower lip and nodded as he looked to the ground. Chances were that had already happened and he'd screwed it up.

"Well, listen to me," Alan chuckled. "I've taken enough of your time and I have some investors waiting for me. Say hello to your father for me," he requested.

"I will, sir. You do the same with Mrs. Davenport," Jamie replied as he shook his hand.

"I will, son. Take care," Alan said, turning away with a wave of his hand.

"Bye," Jamie sighed as he watched Alan head back through the park.

Jamie stepped out of the elevator and was too stunned about running into Alan Davenport on the street that he didn't see the large figure looming at the end of the hallway. It wasn't until he was halfway to his apartment that he noticed his father outside his door. Jamie let out a heavy sigh, wondering how far he could run before his father sent his detail after him. Based on the look on his father's face, not very far. "Jeez, today's the day for fathers to come out of the woodwork," he muttered.

Frank gave Jamie a questioning look. "Come again?"

"Never mind," Jamie sighed again and unlocked the door. "Let me guess? Danny sent you 'cause he doesn't have enough to do but stick his big nose where it doesn't belong?" Jaime complained as he entered his apartment.

"Your brother was concerned," Frank confirmed as he shut the door behind them.

Jamie went into the kitchen and threw his keys onto the counter before opening the fridge to grab some water. "He doesn't have to be," Jamie declared as he took a chug from the bottle.

"How's Eddie?" Frank asked as he stopped in front of the kitchen.

Jamie froze at the question. "If Danny sent you, you know we're not seeing each other," he grumbled, preferring to just get to the point and have this fatherly check-in over with.

"I'm sorry about that," Frank said.

"Yeah, well, it happens. No big deal," Jamie shrugged.

Frank wasn't buying the act. "Sounds like you're trying pretty hard to convince yourself of that."

Exhausted, Jamie side-stepped his father and headed to the living room where he dropped heavily onto the couch. "No offense, dad, but I'd rather not get into my love life with you. I would think you wouldn't want me getting involved in yours either," Jamie sniped.

"Maybe not, but we're all worried about you. You and Eddie were happy before the Kendrick shooting," Frank pointed out and waited for his son to say otherwise. When Jamie didn't, he forged on. "I can't imagine what was going through your mind when you heard the news...what you must have felt when you saw Eddie lying in that hospital bed, so pale and still," he said. Frank still remembered the sight Eddie in the recovery room. He'd escorted Jamie back with the surgeon and caught a glimpse of her before he'd stepped away to allow Jamie some time alone with her. Even knowing she was going to be okay, it had still been a little daunting to see her that way.

Jamie looked down at the bottle in his hands, his expression alone confirming what Frank suspected was going on.

"You can't hide behind a wall to protect yourself from getting hurt," Frank said softly. "You've done that once already and it was a very lonely place."

"All I could see was Sydney lying lifeless in that hospital room. I can't go through that again, dad. I won't," Jamie said in a thick voice. He didn't know what else to do. He'd broken things off with Eddie as a way to gain some sort of peace of mind, some assurance that he'd never face the kind of pain he'd suffered when Sydney died, but losing Eddie because of his own irrational fears was also breaking his heart.

Frank sighed sadly as he took a seat next to his son, his hands clasped together as he stared out across the room thoughtfully. "Jamie, I would give anything in the world to take that from you or to promise that you'll never have to go through something like that again, but I can't. No one can. But don't deny yourself another chance at happiness because you're afraid."

"I can't stop thinking about it...then I start worrying that there'll be a next time," Jamie admitted. "I couldn't protect either of them."

"You're driving yourself crazy and punishing yourself for something that may never happen and causing yourself and Eddie more pain by pushing her away."

Jamie nodded. "I didn't know what to do. I get this urge to run every time I go near her."

"Not everytime. When she was shot, you stayed by her side that night and your were the first person she laid eyes on when she woke up in the hospital. You did that because you love her. Do you think there's anyone else she would have wanted there with her? And if God forbid, the tables are turned, whose face would you want to see over your bed when you open your eyes?"

Jamie knew it was the same face he looked forward to seeing when he woke up every morning. "God, I really hurt her," he confessed. "I don't know that I can fix this."

"It's time you talked to her about all of this. She loves you, Jamie. She'll understand."

Big chapter up next...