"My son, my son, turn here with whole assurance.

Put by your fears and enter to your peace."

And I stood fixed,

At war with my own conscience.

Purgatorio, Dante

I took my time at the cottage, stopping to read in a book I had picked up on our last trip into Seattle. It was a peaceful morning, but I began to miss my family, and I decided to head to the main house to visit. Changing into my suit, I grabbed the bags I had set out earlier and walked out the door. What Bella did not know was Charlie had taken the plunge and asked Sue to marry him. Charlie joked that he wasn't getting any younger, and without Bella there to feed him, he just might not be long for this Earth. He didn't appreciate my observation that he had lived on take out for years before Bella even came back to Forks.

Being uncharacteristically impulsive, they decided to have Angela's father, Mr. Weber, perform the ceremony in his small church in town on Valentine's Day, just weeks after making the decision.

"Why wait?" Charlie had stated.

He wanted to surprise Bella, and I had been recruited to help. I was meeting Bella, Jacob, and Renesmee at Charlie's to let them get dressed for the occasion and we were driving from there to the church. Bella was to think it was a lunch date, until we arrived. Not the best excuse, considering she had had 'breakfast' with Jacob, but I had been at a loss as to how to get her to dress up.

Alice had picked out one of my suits, of course (stating that I wouldn't get it right), and outfits for Nessie and Bella. She had also purchased Jacob an outfit. I don't think Jacob had thought through the fact he was going to a wedding and only possessed jeans and T-shirts. Luckily, Alice was following me to the house, and the others were meeting us at the church; she could argue with him about it.

My respect for Charlie had grown by leaps and bounds when he put his foot down with Alice. No amount of whining, pleading, or grumping worked. He and Sue had been adamant about decorations, or lack thereof. It was to be a simple ceremony. He allowed her to buy him a suit, with his money, or so he thought; Alice stated to the family that "her" Charlie was not going to get married in some department store suit. I shuddered to think what designer Charlie would unknowingly wear and how she had nosed her way into Sue's business. Neither she nor Leah were on the friendliest terms with my family.

Sue had surprised me by telling Charlie that she wanted my family present at the ceremony. The only other participants would be her two kids, Jacob, and Billy. For a time around New Years, Charlie and Billy had been "on the outs", but seeing Charlie and Billy together afterward, I realized they hadn't been arguing over Sue, but over Billy not going to the doctor after a recent fall.

Going first to the garage, I placed the clothing in the Volvo and entered the house. I was immediately struck by the laughter I heard coming from the living room. Emmett was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch and reading a book to Henry. Henry, however, seemed to have other ideas. As I watched, Emmett began reading out of the book, attempting to imitate the sounds and voices within the story. After about a minute of this, Henry picked up the football on the floor and threw it into Emmett's head.

Emmett stopped to explain to Henry they could play ball later, but for now they needed to finish the story. Henry appeared to acquiesce and looked down at the book. A minute later; however, his hand stealthily crept to the football and tossed it back at Emmett's head. This pattern must have been occurring for some time, because my parents and siblings were seated on the other couch with expectant faces. As soon as the football hit Emmett's head, they burst out laughing; earning a scowl from him.

Emmett was attempting "to turn over a new leaf." Although his normally exuberant nature was still intact, he had decided a mature parent must also focus on enlightenment of the mind. We had all waited for the punch line the day he made this announcement, but were sorely disappointed (or excited, in Esme's case) when we realized he was serious.

No one had the heart to tell him it probably wouldn't matter what he did, as it seemed the half-breeds were as intellectually gifted as full vampires. Henry's growth and development quickly mimicked Renesmee's. He wasn't speaking or walking yet; being only around two weeks old at our best guess, nor had he exhibited any sort of special gift to date. It wasn't difficult, however, to notice he was quickly bored with sorting, puzzles, and the other toys previously purchased for Nessie. He could crawl anywhere he decided to go, and on a few occasions had caused a slight panic by the precarious positions in which he was found. Alice teased both Emmett and Rose unmercifully.

"Like anything could hurt him," she would say.

Henry's mind was as open to me as anyone other than my loving, mischievous, bride. I couldn't pick up any thoughts or memories relating to the chaos he had been discovered in. He dreamed of his mom and dad, uncles and aunts, grandparents and cousin. He thought of playing ball and watching us sparkle in the sun. He even thought of riding atop Jacob or Seth's shoulders like he had seen Nessie do. He was a settled, well fed, and pampered baby. Emmett and Rose walked around in perpetual states of neurotic vigilance. It was highly entertaining.

Carlise caught my eye and I heard, "Do you have a few moments? I would like to talk in my study."

I nodded and followed him up the stairs into his sanctuary. Entering the library brought back a plethora of memories. Emmett, Jasper, and I had received many lectures in this room. It had also been a place of sanctuary. I could see Carlisle, as he would lean forward with his hands before him on the desk forming a steeple, either instructing us on acceptable behavior or in reflection. The dining room was the area for family discussions. The library was for guidance. As I pondered my memories, I sat in one of the chairs facing the desk, and was startled when Carlisle sat in the other. This was definitely a break in the pattern. I admit it made me nervous.

He began. Because of the precarious nature in which we exist, this family has a unique mixture of rules and obligations. I see you as my son, but I also recognize you are a grown man.

This definitely didn't sound good. I tried to think of what I might have done lately; he had a lot of options to choose from the past.

I'm saying this to let you know you are under no obligation to answer my questions. I'm asking as your father, and friend.

He stopped for a moment, seemingly searching for the precise words. I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to continue.

I wanted to know how it went when you spoke with Bella. Before you answer, though, I want you to know why I'm asking the question. When you decided to leave Forks, I stood back and allowed you to make the decision. It's always been our unspoken rule that we would not interfere with anyone's choices. I made a mistake. To be brutally honest, Esme and I were so accustomed to you being the levelheaded one of the group that it took me by surprise. I deluded myself into believing it must be the right thing. Esme and I argued often and loudly regarding you; regarding Bella. Those months were one of the most challenging experiences of our life together, as well.

I gasped at his expression and this revelation.

I was regretful within the week. Had I been able to get you in my grasp, I believe I would have forced you to come back. It was so apparent to all of us that you needed each other.

He leaned over to pull my face up by my chin, as I had slumped forward with my regret.

The option of giving Bella her wish was not the struggle for me that it was for you because of our differences in beliefs. I didn't see it as the ending you do. I also know you struggle intensely with your protective nature. Your brothers and I all have problems with this in regards to our mates; our family. They are all strong, capable women. Bella was physically fragile in comparison to my other girls, but I knew the strength of her mind and feelings. I kept hoping you would be able to see what we all saw.

I have to ask your forgiveness.

"Carlisle, there is nothing to…" I began, but he interrupted me before I could complete the sentence, slicing his hands through the air.

YES, THERE IS! I want to ask your forgiveness for being angry with you. I need your forgiveness for making a poor decision, of not knowing when to be your friend and when to be your father.

My eyes widened perceptibly.

Because I saw Bella much as she is now, strong and capable, I was frustrated with some of the decisions you made, some of the struggles you were presenting, yet I still let you make the decision without intervening.

Okay here comes the ironic part. I need to ask your forgiveness for not understanding your side better in the beginning. Your and Bella's relationship… well, it wasn't anything we had ever experienced before. It provided a unique set of circumstances. It wasn't until after the Volturi left that I realized I also felt a measure of relief that Bella was finally like us. It was then I knew I had worried over many of the same issues you had; just to a lesser degree. Talk about double standards, huh? He smirked at me.

I'm still regretful of many of the things that occurred. However, I want you to know that being a parent is difficult. I'm sure you will face this same struggle with Nessie. You will have to make decisions as to when she needs to make her own mistakes, and when you need to intervene. It isn't easy. I made a mistake. Can you forgive me?

"Carlisle, I don't know what to say. Maybe I would have listened if you had given me an ultimatum, but maybe I wouldn't have; I was that certain of my decision. No apologies are needed or desired. What I know is I can't change the past. To be honest, I'm tired of dwelling in it."

This brought a ghost of a smile to his face.

"I tried to tell Bella why I made the decisions I made. Even after returning from Italy, she and I never really spoke in great length about what happened. We spent so much time just trying to make up for lost time. I was fighting Jacob off, then I was finally able to convince her to marry me and I just didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that."

Even with my decision to move forward, I had to take a deep breath and center myself to reveal the next thoughts.

"I tried to describe to her the depths of my despair when I thought she was gone. We had to speak about my cruelty; however justified I thought it was at the time. I tried to help her understand my faulty rationale."

Is she okay? Do you feel she understands?

I chuckled as I remembered our night and replied, "She may understand, but she doesn't agree with everything. She's still a little mad at me that I kept the information about Felix from her."

Carlisle coughed laughing at the same time. "Good luck. I make your mother mad at me on a regular basis, but the making up part is worth the angry moments."

I grinned back at my father in agreement.

Carlisle began again talking to me through his thoughts. Did she ask for the others on the list, because I foresee that knowledge causing problems?

I startled with the realization; Carlisle knew.

Edward, I'm not blind.

"She didn't want to know, thank God. I don't know how long he will wait; time means even less to him than us." I groaned.

He nodded looking down in reflection, and by unspoken agreement, we left the rest unsaid.

Son, I love you. I have long forgiven you. I only spoke with you today because I wanted to be certain you were going to allow yourself to begin living. You have been melancholy for too long. I have seen a difference in you since the wedding, but I'm prepared to step in this time if needed.

"We're going to be okay," I assured him, amazed at the tenacity of his tone. He continued to stare at me.

Wow. He really wasn't going to let this go. I knew Carlisle loved me, but I was selfish enough to find pleasure in that he wasn't giving in so easily. A broad smile crossed my face.

I had experienced laughter with my family. I had experienced remorse and guilt in being caught doing something wrong with my siblings. I had felt fear at the wrath of my mother. I had felt conviction in Carlisle's reprimands. Now, for the first time in my existence, I was experiencing another feeling; joy. Joy with my wife and child, and the resolution of so many doubts; joy that my father was pushing me to be a better person. Or vampire, at least. What did I really consider myself? How did I convey this to the man sitting before me?

"I'm going to be okay. No, let me say it differently; I'm more than okay. I explained it to Bella that no one could be more okay than me right now. I made her a promise that I wouldn't look to the past and berate myself any further. I still have a few personal amends to make, but focusing on the past… well, I made a promise. I feel freed. "

Finally was his only thought. We stood and my father engulfed me in his arms and I was selfish enough to remain there for a time.

Finally he stated, "I guess it's time we go down and collect the others to head for the church."

As he opened the door into the hallway I saw my mother leaning against the opposite wall. From her expression, if she could cry, she would've been. I stepped to her quickly, wrapping her in my arms. I felt the soft feel of her hair against my cheek; her body trembling.

I asked, "What are you doing out here?"

"Well, we just didn't know if you would listen, so I was here to help stop you if needed," she grinned shyly.

"Esme, I can't even find the words to say how I feel about the consequence of those choices. Saying sorry seems too easy of an out."

She released her hold around my waist and lightly slapped my cheek. "Don't ever do it again."

With those words, I was forgiven.

She stepped around to grab Carlisle's hand, looking up to his face questioningly, "The making up part is worth the angry moments, huh?"

"You're there with me; what do you think?" he responded.

Mimicking Alice, I plugged my ears and stated loudly, "LA LA LA LA! I'm not listening, I'm not listening" to cover up any further conversation. I heard my parents' muffled laughter following me down the hallway.

As I walked down the stairs, Alice seemed distracted, whispering into Jasper's ear. I walked over to sit on the arm of the sofa.

"Is everything ready?" I asked, leaning over toward Alice

She grinned, "I have everything taken care of. We just need to get started towards town. Jasper and I are going in my Porsche, and we'll follow you to Charlie's. Everyone else will go on into town to make sure they don't need help with anything. I hope it was okay I asked Jasper to tag along, but I might need help with Jacob."

I smiled at her fake uncertainty. Alice had won out over everyone but Charlie. She was happy in her small victory with him. We jumped in our respective cars and headed towards the highway and Forks.

All credit goes to my two totally awesome Betas:

CullenFest - for her patience with me and my anxiety about writing.

Crmcneill - for his mighty red pen, and help in mapping out strategy