Hi! Sorry I haven't updated in so long, but real life has been crazy busy. Hope you're still reading!
He's not sure it's entirely appropriate, what he's doing. But he knows Addison, knows she'll appreciate the thought if nothing else. It's always that way with her.
"You know I didn't actually give birth." she enquires, taking the flowers he's brought. She seems to realise what shes said a moment after the words leave her mouth, and her eyes flicker.
"These are for staying up all night with a baby wuen you didn't have to." he corrects her, taking and handing her a coffee cup, which she's more enthusiastic about. He looks around the office, remembering she usually has a vase on hand.
"Bottom left drawer." she says, inhaling the steam rising from her cup. "God, thank you."
"My name's Derek."
"Har har." she says sarcastically. He finds the vase, fills it with water, and sets up the flowers on a small table between the couches.
The office is very ...her, with diplomas already arranged on the walls behind her desk, pictures of her and the rest of the doctors from the practice on the coffee table, one of her and Naomi he remembers from spring break their second year at Columbia. There are a few of her receiving awards, one with Vivian, one with Richard. None of them are on her desk, though.
In her private office in New York, she kept only one picture on her desk, one of them taken at the Hamptons house. It's not a professional shot, slightly blurry even. One of his sisters - he can't recall which - took it, and they're both sun dappled and laughing, knee deep in blue waves. They looked young and deliriously happy in that picture, and Addison said she liked to look at it on days when she was stuck behind her desk.
He turns his attention to the sleeping baby, reaching out to run a finger over her velvety skin. She twitches slightly, and Addison gives him a look.
"I'll take her." he suggests. "Just for a while."
She hesitates for a moment, until he holds out a bag of clothes and toiletries. The Addison he knows is probably dying for a shower and shuddering at having slept on the couch fully dressed.
"All right," she says softly, tucking the pink blanket around the baby's shoulders. "This is Derek, he's going to hold you for a little while, so I can go shower. Try not to wake up, sweetie, because he thinks he knows what he's doing, but actually -"
"Addison."
"Right. Going."
..
They're not in her office when she returns from the cramped shower, dressed in the jeans and Yankees jersey Derek brought her. She'd actually forgotten about the jersey - he bought it for her in New York as half a joke - and it mist habe made the trip from Seattle to LA with the rest of her things. She never wears jeans at work, which means Derek is either more clueless than she thought, or trying to get her to take the day off.
"What the hell are you wearing?" Sam laughs as she walks into the kitchen. The baby is lying on the kitchen table, kicking her plump little legs as she watches Cooper dangle some sort of toy for her. "Haven't seen one of those in a while."
"You look good." Derek assures her. He's standing at the counter, mixing a bottle of formula.
Naomi raises her eyebrows as she squeezes past her, so she pinches her in response.
"Ow." Naomi mutters, rubbing her arm. "Have you ever even worn that before?"
"No." she says at the same time Derek says yes.
"Just the jersey." he whispers so only she can hear, and she can feel her face burning.
"I really don't want to know what he just said to you." Naomi shudders. "Do we, baby?"
"Are you just going to keep calling her baby?" asks Dell, the receptionist-child.
"She's not stayin'." Charlotte says, clicking her way into the kitchen behind Dell. "If you're done playing Momma, I'll take her."
He sees Naomi step on Charlotte's foot under the table, but the blonde shows no indication of pain as she stares at Addison.
"Sure." Addison says casually. "I was just about to feed her though, but I guess you could do that yourself."
"You thought wrong." Charlotte says, flouncing into a chair. "I'll be ready when you're done."
..
"I'm bored."
"Well, I'm having fun." he responds, rolling his eyes. "The time of my life, really. Can't remember the last time I had this much fun -"
"I get the point." she sighs, looking guilty. "But maybe you could take Charlotte's offer -"
"At that cottage hospital?" he asks, shaking his head. "No thanks."
"Well, look for another job." she snaps, irritable. He told Naomi Addison was taking the day off, which has made her short-tempered and cranky. "I never said you couldn't."
"That's right. You never say anything at all."
He knows he's being unreasonable - she's been up all night, she's emotional and tired and he knows better than to goad her. But she never discusses his presence here, avoiding the topic whenever he brings it up. He lives in the guest room, she spends the day at work and sometimes they have dinner together but for the most part he's stuck in this sunny little house working on papers he wants published.
He's numb with boredom. Last night was the most exciting thing to happen all week, unless he counts the impromptu kiss before Addison was paged...which is another thing she refuses to talk about.
"What do you want me to say?" she demands. "Not like it matters to you anyway, you just showed up here with no warning, so you can find something to do with yourself."
"You came to Seattle with no warning." he retaliates.
"And I regret it." she fires back. "I could have done without the knowledge that my husband is a cradle-robber."
"Maybe you shouldn't have come."
"Maybe you shouldn't have come here." she replies, standing up. They're sitting at opposite ends of the couch, pretending to concentrate on their laptops. He hasn't gotten any work done since they drove back from the practice, and he's sure Addison hasn't either. "Maybe you should have done what you so obviously want to."
"Which is?"
"Be with your twelve year old." she says, making some sort of exasperated hand gesture he remembers from years of experience. "Fish. Be a...a woodchopper."
"I don't chop wood." he says, insulted. "It's a protected area."
"Out of all the things I just said, you take offence at woodchopper?" she splutters, slamming her laptop closed. "You are so...immature."
"Me, immature? You're the one who took off to a new city without telling anyone." he tosses back, shoving his laptop onto the couch. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to find you?"
"Maybe I didn't want you to find me!"
"Well, I did, and now I'm here, do you're going to have to get used to it." he glowers. "Like I got used to you being in Seattle."
He knows he's said the wrong thing when her face suddenly falls, her eyes filling with tears that, of course, she blinks away.
"Damn it." he mutters, reaching for her hand. She pulls it away. "Addison."
"Stop talking."
"I didn't mean it that way." he says heavily. Did he? In a way, maybe.
When she strolled back into his life, cool as you please, he was in the middle of reinventing himself. He didn't want to be the same man who had left New York. He was bound and determined that this would be a new beginning, fresh and free of any memory of what drove him away. It did take him a while, and her considerably longer, to learn how to be together again, to fall into each other's rhythm.
He'd gotten used to his solitude, and then she was there again, larger than life, apologetic and arrogant by turns, taking up his space, putting down roots and making friends and settling into a life he had intended to live alone.
But when she left again...it felt wrong. He felt bereft, astray, off balance as if someone had lopped an inch off one of his legs. He's not used to her. She's part of him, ever changing and dynamic. He doesn't know what he is without her.
"But you said it that way." she says. "It sounded that way."
"I didn't mean it." he repeats.
"Then what do you mean?" she asks, her eyes drying, hardening. "What part of this do you mean, Derek, or is it all still some game to you? How long are you staying this time before you decide you're bored and you go -"
"I thought we'd established that I was staying."
"Well, you don't look too happy about it."
"I'm bored."
"This...this is circular. We're not getting anywhere arguing, Derek. We can't even argue effectively anymore." she laments, head dropping into her hands. "I'm sorry I'm so ... touchy."
"I can think of something else we're always effective at," he says, placing a hand on her shoulder, intending to soothe, but she gets up after a moment and his hand falls back to the couch.
"Get up." she says. She has the faraway look on her face she gets when she's planning something. He can almost see thought whirling in her head.
"Why?" he asks curiously.
"We need to get out." she says decisively. "We're going crazy in here, we'll kill each other."
"If it's another...botanical...garden thing I'm not coming." he threatens, letting her haul him to his feet.
"You'll like it." she promises. "Can you read a map?"
Okay, so I've been getting fewer and fewer reviews lately...maybe it's because everyone is busy, but I'd really love some feedback.