Month Six
This was getting ridiculous. Spencer stood in his bedroom and studiously avoided looking in his mirror as he tried to get his shirt to settle on right. At six months pregnant he felt like he was roughly the size of a planet. Seeing his toes was a thing of the past. The only way he saw his feet was to lie down and prop his feet up on something. But at the rate his stomach was growing it felt like that could vanish at any point, too. Seeing anything else below the waist, well, that really wasn't happening and wouldn't again until this belly was gone. Spencer honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his own dick. It seemed a ridiculous thing to get annoyed about, but really, it was rather frustrating. Not that Spencer would complain to anyone about it. But in the privacy of his own home, when it was just him by himself getting up to pee yet again in the middle of the night, he cursed the fact that he'd lost the ability to pee standing up. It wasn't exactly possible when you couldn't really see what you were doing.
Spencer scowled a little more as he yanked off the shirt he'd been trying to put on. That was definitely one for the 'small' pile. Another look through his closet and he finally found a shirt that should fit. Seeing it took some of the scowl off and had his lips curving ever so slightly. The shirt had just arrived in the mail a few days ago in a package from Penelope. She sent him packages frequently. Wearing it today felt appropriate.
It was a Halloween shirt. She'd sent him a few to get him through the rest of October. They were only a week and a half in to the month and apparently she felt he needed to dress appropriately for it. There were shirts that had been in the package that had a Jack o' Lantern as the belly, another with a bit Jack Skellington smile, one that said Mummy to Be, and then this one. This one was a black long sleeved shirt that had a set of baby handprints dead center on the belly, and underneath was written 'Let Me Out'. Two more sets of handprints had been added on either side—courtesy of Penelope, he knew. The shirt amused him as he pulled it on and stretched it down over his stomach. Luckily it was long enough that it covered his belly. More and more he was getting an issue with shirts that left the bottom of his belly exposed. Or, more accurately, the belly band, because he wore that almost constantly.
He grabbed the orange winter vest that Penelope had sent with it all and pulled that on as well. There. He looked utterly ludicrous but he was dressed. He could leave the house. Even if that idea was less and less appealing the longer that he was on his feet.
Per Hank's orders, Spencer had been resting quite a bit lately. He had so far managed to really avoid bed rest. It was getting to be a close thing, though. The babies were doing healthy, no signs of distress or anything like that, but Spencer's blood pressure just wouldn't settle at a decent number no matter what he did, and if he pushed himself too hard contractions would start to threaten. That was the last thing in the world they wanted. Making it to thirty two weeks was the goal, though that was still early. Spencer was determined to do anything he could to make it to at least that, though preferably longer.
He put those thoughts aside for the moment and focused back on the day he had planned. There were important things he had to take care of today. Things that he really should've already been doing.
A small use of his powers helped him to get his shoes on. He wasn't even going to attempt bending down to put them on. Yeah, right.
Once he was ready, his new messenger bag slung on, keys in hand, he focused his powers and took himself from his house to the front step of what was still the most familiar place to him—his old house. Derek's house.
He hadn't expected anyone to be home, so he hadn't really thought about showing up here. So when he landed and he saw a car in the driveway, it made his stomach give a little twist. That wasn't Derek's car.
No, nope, he was not going to think about that. He wasn't going to think about who Derek had in their—his house. This wasn't Spencer's home anymore and, as of last Friday, Derek wasn't his husband anymore.
No one needed to know that Spencer had spent that entire night curled up in his bed, sobbing for what was, what had been, and what could've been.
The cab that Spencer had called was already waiting down at the curb. He carefully made his way out of the sheltered porch, a nice little alcove that he'd used many times to arrive in safely out of view, and then down the driveway. Time to get this day started.
Thirty minutes later Spencer was riding inside of an elevator that he hadn't been inside of for quite a while. The visitors badge attached to his vest felt slightly odd compared to the badge he used to wear. That oddness faded as the doors opened and Spencer found every single member of his old team waiting there for him. The grin that stretched over his lips was wide and bright at the sight of them.
"Reid!" Emily cried out. At the same time, Penelope let out a sound that was almost a squeal and cried out "Oh, look at you!"
Spencer stepped out of the elevator and his friends just converged on him. They surrounded him, each one of them, and Spencer was wrapped up in hugs and affection and so many various hands on his stomach. It was crowded and a little uncomfortable and a little more in his personal space than he usually liked having anyone, but it was perfect. It was absolutely perfect. Spencer absorbed the affection and love from his friends, his family, like a sponge. He soaked it all in and let it fill him and warm his insides. "It's good to see you guys too." He told them.
Dave cupped his face in his hands and kissed both his cheeks, chuckling at the immediate blush that warmed there. "You look good, kiddo. Fantastic."
"You look like you're about to pop!" Penelope exclaimed.
"Not quite." Spencer said, chuckling. "Just a bit left to go. We want to hit thirty-two weeks, minimum, though anything beyond that would be great."
When Spencer turned, he found Derek there now, the man looking both happy and yet slightly hesitant, like he was unsure of his place here. Unsure if he was allowed to step over and hug Spencer or if maybe he had to hang back. Spencer hated that uncertainty. He hated even more the knowledge that he'd helped fuel it. Well, that was about to change. Spencer straightened his shoulders and moved right up to the man. As he always had, Derek reacted immediately, not even seeming to need to think about it. He just opened his arms right when Spencer got close and gave him one of those hugs that Spencer had always loved so much. One of the ones that wrapped tightly around him and made him feel safe and secure up against Derek's solid chest. There was a pang in Spencer's heart that reminded him that this wasn't a safe and secure place anymore, not for him, but he pushed it down. Today's visit was not about him.
"Rossi's right. You look good." Derek murmured against his hair. He pulled back and smiled at Spencer, one hand coming up to tuck just a bit of hair behind his ear. His other hand came down, moved like it was going to settle on Spencer's stomach before curling in and then dropping down to his side.
He was trying so hard to give Spencer the space that Spencer had been demanding lately. Seeing it just made Spencer feel even guiltier. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and caught hold of Derek's hand, drawing it up and laying it on his stomach. Then he slid it over towards the top and pressed. It took only a second before there was movement in response. The kicks, which had grown stronger and stronger with each passing week until Spencer occasionally felt like his insides were being battered by an entire football team, were definitely enough for Derek to feel. The wide-eyed wonder on the man's face was enough to make Spencer's discomfort very much worth it. "Wow." Derek breathed out. "Quite the kicker."
"She is." Spencer agreed. It was the little girl that was still on top, he knew. At least, she had been at his last appointment.
A look exchanged with Aaron reminded Spencer as to why he was here. The young genius smiled at his one-time boss. "Hey, Hotch, do you mind if I steal Derek for a few hours? I promise I'll have him back by the time lunch is over." Lunch break wasn't for a few more hours.
Aaron's smile crinkled the corners of his eyes and warmed his expression in a way that very few people here in the Bureau ever got to see. "Of course, Reid." He said easily. They'd planned all this out earlier; they both knew exactly what was going on. But Aaron played his part well.
Derek looked back and forth between the two of them with surprise showing on his face. He didn't protest, though. He just asked "Where are we going? Do I need my gun?"
A snort slipped out before Spencer could stop it. "No, you don't need your gun." He let go of Derek's hands to spread his own over his stomach. He wasn't being really kicked at the moment. They were, however, moving around in there, twisting a little in ways that felt sort of strange and that made his stomach ripple. "I promise, where we're going is no threat. Now, why don't you be quiet and go get your jacket? It's chilly out there."
"Sir, yes sir." Derek teased him.
Twenty minutes later, after Derek spent the entire drive quizzing Spencer as to where they were going and what they were doing, the young genius directed his ex-husband right to the parking lot of Spencer's old OB-GYN. When Derek saw where they were pulling up, his eyebrows went up in surprise. He pulled the car into the parking spot and put it in park before he turned to look at Spencer. "What're we doing here? Is everything okay?" His eyes darted down to Spencer's stomach while he turned the car off. "Are the babies okay?"
"They're fine, Derek. I'm fine." Spencer hurried to reassure him. He unhooked his seatbelt and shifted a bit, stretching just enough to work out some of the kinks in his back. Riding in a car was an uncomfortable event anymore. Taking hold of the door handle, he gave Derek one last look, one last smile. "I just, I thought maybe you'd like a chance to see that for yourself."
"What?"
Here was the moment of truth. Spencer had known Derek wouldn't just 'go with the flow'. He was going to have to explain himself and he was going to have to apologize. Taking a deep breath, Spencer prepared to do just that. "I owe you an apology, Derek." He waved a hand to cut off Derek's immediate attempt at a response. "No, I do. I know you haven't been able to be anywhere near as involved with this pregnancy as you'd like and I'm sorry for that, I truly am. I've been…" Taking a deep breath, he trudged on, made himself finish this. "I'm hurt and upset and I let that keep me away from you. I got caught up in trying to make my new life that I sort of let my old one go. And that's not fair to you."
"I understood, Spencer." Derek said softly.
"That doesn't make it okay. I told you that you could be a part of this, Derek, and I didn't keep my word on that. So this, well, this is kind of the only apology I can offer."
The appointment was one of the best ideas that Spencer had had. He lay on the exam table while the ultrasound technician ran the wand over his stomach and he watched not only the images of his children on the monitor, he also watched Derek's face. He saw the joy and awe that spread there as well as a love that was already so immense it was staggering. Derek loved these children already, just the same as Spencer did. It was amazing and wonderful and more painful than Spencer had expected it to be. It hurt to see that much love on Derek's face and not have it directed his way. But he was so damn happy to see it there for the children.
It was in that moment, as he looked at Derek's face, at the moisture in the man's eyes, that he knew that this would work. This co-parent thing between them would work out. There'd be trouble, sure, and they were both going to have to make sacrifices to get there, but it would work. Spencer knew it. Because the both of them already loved these three children more than anyone or anything else in the world. The rest of it would get figured out. The rest they could handle.
He was tired yet happy by the time he got back home that afternoon. He teleported himself directly into his living room, right onto the couch, and the sigh that slid from him was one of both pleasure and relief at being on something soft and comfortable. The couch felt kind of like Heaven to all of his aching muscles.
"Well welcome home, cher." Remy called out.
There wasn't even really any surprise at finding someone in his home. Spencer just rolled his head a little so that he could look over in the direction of the voice. He found Remy in his kitchen, standing at the stove cooking something or other. It'd become a rather familiar sight for him recently. Remy often cooked for him, insistent on trying to make sure that Spencer ate right. He and Logan both were sort of mother-henning him through this pregnancy. By now, Spencer had just kind of grown used to it. It wasn't even uncommon for Remy or Logan to stay over with him every now and again in an attempt to make sure he ate and rested. Especially on the weekend.
Remy had come out with Spencer this past Friday and stayed in the guest room through the weekend. But days had gone by since then and Spencer had noticed that Remy was still staying there. He left with Spencer each morning to go to the school and came back with him each night. Spencer wasn't complaining about it; having someone else in the house was wonderful. It made him feel just a little safer knowing that Remy was just down the hall. But he felt sort of bad that Remy was staying here, trying to take care of him, when he could be staying in his own room at Xavier's, with his friends around him. Remy didn't look bothered by it, though. In fact, he looked quite comfortable right now, barefoot in Spencer's kitchen cooking something that Spencer couldn't help but notice smelled rather delicious.
Watching the man twisting here and there to the low beat of the radio he had playing softly near him, Spencer found himself smiling. "Hey, Rem. What're you making over there?"
"Stir fry!" Remy turned to flash Spencer a smile over his shoulder that just lit up his whole face. "Y' don't have a lot—we gotta stock de cupboards again. So I just sorta grabbed what was left of de vegetables in de fridge and got cookin'. I figure we could pick some things up tomorrow after work, oui?"
That gave Spencer the perfect opening. He chewed on his bottom lip for a minute before deciding that maybe he should just bite the bullet and say something here. "Remy?"
The Cajun didn't even turn around. "Oui, cher?"
"You know…" Spencer wiped a hand over his face and mouth, hesitating briefly before pushing on. "You know you don't have to stay here, right? I'll be all right on my own at night and I'm sure you've got plenty of other, better things that you'd rather be doing than babysitting me. I mean, you've got your own room back at Xavier's, your own friends, and I know you've always had a pretty active social life."
Out of all the responses he'd expected, the fond and amused look that Remy gave him wasn't one of them. "Spencer." Shaking his head, Remy reached out and turned off the burner before pulling the pan off and over to the other side where it could cool. He smiled at Spencer as he gathered up bowls. The room was quiet as Remy served up their food. He didn't say anything until he'd brought it over to Spencer and handed it to him. When he did, he gave Spencer a look that was so fond, it actually stole Spencer's voice away. "I'm right where I wanna be, Spencer, all right?"
Just those simple words. Nothing else, no big speech, no argument. Just those few simple words. Spencer had no argument for them. Some of the tension drained out of him and he smiled and nodded back at him in a silent 'okay'.
Remy's grin grew even bigger and the man nodded back. Then he dropped down onto the couch by Spencer's feet and pressed the TV power on the remote before picking up the Xbox controller. "All right. What do y' wanna watch while we eat? It's y'r turn to pick."