For CrimsonHowls -- thanks for waiting ever so patiently!
Much to JASDA's surprise, a host of kids join the military in the mission control room. "Um, authorized personnel only," one of the eggheads tell Dojima.
The blonde rolls her blue eyes. "Hel-LO," she says, "I'm super-authorized. I'm part of STN-J, and my supervisor, Amon, is the cool guy piloting the X-Wing Fighter."
"That's called an SY-3," the man sputters, "are you trying to get the author sued???"
"Oh, sorry," Dojima simpers, and her blue high heels clatter to stop behind her bald boss.
A straightlaced man points to the large digital clock over the huge display monitors. "Countdown," he declares. "Ten, nine, eight--"
"I thought I was supposed to do that," General Zaizen scowls.
"Join in if you want, sir," the countdown operator says, not looking back, "seven, six."
Everyone joins in for, "Five, four, three, two, ONE!"
"BLAST OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF!" Michael squeals, and as the shuttle lifts off, everyone looks at him. "What?"
"Somebody get that nerd out of here," the General scowls, but looks surprised when most of the mission control glares at him. "What?"
"Dude, we're all nerds here," the countdown dude shakes his head as the other mission control guys link arms with Michael.
"I'm so not!" Dojima declares while Karasuma rolls her eyes.
The counter winks at the blonde, who shudders. "You can be an honorary nerd," he says sweetly, then turns around when the static of Amon's microphone gets everyone's attention.
"Can you hear me?" Amon asks, and they can see him fiddling with numerous buttons and instrumentations.
"We can see you, too," the Chief says. "How the hell did you learn how to fly that thing so fast?"
Amon holds up a black book with yellow characters as its title. Translated, it reads, "Piloting Random Military Space Shuttles like SY-3 for Cool Goth Guys." While everyone groans, Amon tosses the manual to the side. "And I've got mechanics here if things get really technical or broken."
Everyone in mission control breathes a sigh of relief. "Re-LIEF!" they sigh.
Amon glares at them for the bad joke, and then his monitor glitches, which causes more than one person in mission control to squeal. "It's not me," he says when the picture and sound clear up.
"I got it!" Michael says, somehow hooking his laptop to one of the ginormous computers in the room. "Let me add captioning, in case we lose him again or the static gets too loud."
The STN-J claps, and then stop when they see more glitching. "Michael, what's wrong?" Karasuma asks.
While the redhead shakes his head, Amon's voice sounds like it's coming in through several synthesized filters. "What happen?"
From behind him, the mechanic answers, "Somebody set up us the bomb."
"We get signal," the countdown guy, or rather, operator at mission control says, also hitting buttons at a furious speed.
"What!" Amon glares.
The operator hits more buttons, "Main screen turn on."
Amon stares as he sees what everyone else in mission control can see in their other monitor. "It's You!!"
Touko, Queen of the Kilaaks, smirks as only an alien queen in a shiny aluminum-type spacesuit can. "How are you gentlemen!!"
Before anyone can reply, she adds, "All your base are belong to us."
While everyone is still in "what the f" mode, Touko finishes off with, "You are on the way to destruction."
Amon scowls. "What you say!!" His scowl deepens when he realizes how idiotic he sounds.
The alien queen doesn't seem to care that both she and Amon have both started talking in a stilted, synthesized manner. Maybe aliens don't worry about that sort of thing. "You have no chance to survive make your time," she says. After a pause, she adds, "HA HA HA HA ..."
What the hell, Amon thinks, then shouts, "Take off every 'zig'!!" He scowls again, then tries to say something that makes sense. "You know what you doing." That wasn't much better. "Move 'zig'." He frowns. What the hell is a "zig" and why does he keep saying that? "For great justice." Aaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiigh!!!!
Michael finally looks up from his laptop and squint. "Why are they talking like 'Zero Wing'?"
The accident-prone Hunter shakes his head. "What's that?" Sakaki asks.
"Uh, nothing," the hacker says quickly, hearing the author sharpening knives behind his back.
Sakaki, oblivious to Michael's literary travails, goes on. "And why are those hot chicks, I mean, evil aliens dressed like refrigerated leftovers?"
"Why are the astronauts dressed like Devo fans?" Michael adds, miraculously free of the author's evil attentions.
Sakaki blinks. "What the hell is a Devo?" Then he frowns. "And how come Amon's in a black firefighter suit while everyone else is in yellow rain jackets?"
Michael grins. "Those are spacesuits, or as Dojima would say, the latest in outer space couture."
Dojima shrugs. "We never did get the evil aliens' reason for attacking Earth."
As if on cue, Touko says, "We Kilaaks will stop the fire Witch if you surrender."
Amon glares manfully at the uncomfortably hot alien chick. "I don't think so, Kye-lax." And is relieved to find he's speaking normally again, but chooses to keep his cool exterior.
Touko screams, "It's pronounced "kee-locks," you idiot."
As if making up for the stilted speech, Amon says further, "Besides, I don't care what you do to Robin. She's our friend, while you're just an ugly extraterrestrial tramp in tin foil."
The alien queen blinks, her mouth open in an exaggerated "oh" shape. But she recovers quickly, "You dare insult me, Touko, Queen of the Kilaaks? For that, you shall die!" Then she pauses. "Ha ha, ha!"
Karasuma shakes her head, sighing. "You never call a woman ugly, Amon, even if she is an evil alien chick bent on using Robin to wreak destruction on Japan." Everyone in the mission control room and the SY-3 space shuttle nods.
"Oh, boy," the angsty Goth dude groans, and manages to duck the first volley of bad special effects missiles from the moon.