Disclaimer: For the purpose of Nickelodeon keeping their reputation as a respected network, I obviously do not own Victorious ;P

Dear everybody, thank you all so much for the reviews. Especially to, CULLENGIRLS1039, xxelavanxx, BadeFanForever, BadeObsessed, JadeplusBeck, Crazywoobie, xRenesmee-Cullenx and WickedWitchOfTheWest3 – these guys have given continual support and reviews and I would just really love to thank them so much for motivating me! C:

Enjoy this chapter guys and PLEASE REVIEW! C:

Chapter 12: Vodka

Avan's POV

I felt like death. I wanted to die, the pain in her eyes that night was killing me, it was the only thing running continuously through my head and even though I tried to text, call, talk, email, everything humanly possible of contacting her, she never picked up or answered. Even at work, there was no casual chatting in between our scenes or during it for that matter. The director's and producer's told us what to do and say and she followed of course, she was a brilliant actress and had this mentality that I hadn't seen in any other person. It had been three whole weeks and nothing had happened. I knew I had to somehow show her that I really loved her, a grand gesture with every romantic thing that I could think of with personal things as well. I had to prove to the woman I loved how much I really cared. Our lives really were beginning to seem like Beck and Jade's. She was hurting and I had to prove to her that I loved her, but this wasn't something that could be resolved by me simply interrupting her and kissing her with a passion, it needed something more but I had no idea what that something was just yet. We had filmed the last three episode, 'Rex Dies', 'The Diddly Bops' and 'Wok Star' and hardly any of them had Beck and Jade moments, even when we had filmed the 'Diddly Bops', our kiss at the end had meant absolutely nothing to her.

/Flashback\

Leon was playing his guitar and singing to a song he had actually written for the show. Victoria sung back up, she whipped her hair all over the place and I wanted to glare at her. I don't know what had possessed her to do this to Liz and me. I thought she knew how we felt; maybe she had and had been jealous. I hadn't talked to her properly until yesterday when she came and apologised. I hadn't completely thought her apology was sincere but I said okay anyway, and I didn't forgive her for what she had done. Liz saying that she didn't love me and … hated me. It strained me to say the word. That was the worst thing that could have happened in my life. I wound my arm around her waist as it was nearing the part where we were asked to give a little kiss. I had been hoping I could talk to her while he was playing, say sorry as much as I could fit in and try to explain what had really happened, but she didn't want to hear it. She just stared up at Leon singing and I just decided to take the lead. The director hadn't given me the cue yet but I knew I was only seconds off. I tipped her chin up to me and pressed my lips firmly to hers, her soft familiar lips against mine. I squeezed my eyes shut and put as much love into the kiss as I could, but I knew she took this as a stage kiss. We were playing Beck and Jade and that was it, we were playing Beck and Jade. She smiled coming out of the kiss and I thought I might have convinced her just a little but I hadn't, she was smiling because she was playing her part. I kissed her on the forehead and tried to smile as well as she was able to. She was so strong, I could have never been able to beam like that feeling the way she was and the way I am still. I pulled her into my little peck, forcing her to lean against me; I had to get as much of her as I could before she pulled away from me for what seemed like forever. After the song had been filmed, she did exactly that.

/End of Flashback\

I hadn't spoken to her casually for three weeks now and I was sick of it, we had just finished filming 'Wok Star' and had a long weekend, before we all came back for 'The Wood'. This was the weekend I had to do something, even if I waited outside her door for every minute of this weekend, I would do it. At this point in time I knew I had to whatever I could to get her back. She was the best thing in my life, the only thing I wanted to really, truly have. It made me angry, especially at Victoria, that Liz and I had wanted only two things while we were together, one was to succeed in either a profession of acting or singing, the second one was to be together, she had just taken half of me away. As I felt one ripped away from me that night, I knew I had lost half of me. She was my other half and I couldn't live without her. Right now, I felt like all of me was gone, loving her meant more to me than making a living out of my acting career.

Liz's POV

I got straight into my car as soon as Victorious was wrapped up for the weekend. I drove straight home and sat on the couch. My mother had gone to another conference which meant I had another weekend alone, by myself, to weep in my own misery. I turned on the TV, but not even re-runs of F.R.I.E.N.D.S could cheer me up, I slumped backwards into the couch and switched the television off. I still hurt, all over my body; it had been like this for three weeks. I wasn't feeling any better and the most annoying thing was, I felt like I was missing something and I knew exactly what that something was, it was Avan. He was my other half, I knew it, but how could the person I considered so close, do something like that. I felt a cheer slide down my pale cheek as I curled into a ball. I looked at the clock on the glass table beside the arm of the couch and there we are right on cue. Eight-thirty, time to cry about Avan for about an hour and then go up to bed, cry some more, pull myself together slightly and fall asleep. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know what brought me to do it, but I stood up on shaky legs and walked into the kitchen. I pulled the kitchen cupboard above the oven open and grabbed a bottle of vodka. I didn't like the taste and had only ever drunk twice, once at Ariana's sixteenth birthday party and the other at my mother's thirty year anniversary in her job. I only pulled this one because I think someone had said that it had a large effect on people, making them feel numb. That was exactly what I needed, I needed to forget about Avan and just everything, just for a night, just let the pain slip away for a few hours. The bottle was three-quarters full so I just took it over to the couch; I flicked the TV to the 80's rock music channel. I turned the volume up to full blast as some rock ballads from my favourite era of music blared around me. I raised the large clear bottle to my lips and took a swig. My throat burned and I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the fiery liquid to run down my throat and start it's effect. I kept on taking swigs, enduring the pain, my throat felt as if it was on fire and my stomach was twisting uncomfortably. However, a few guzzles later, the pain started to disappear, I was lightheaded and loved the loud ear-piercing music surrounding me. I stood up off the couch and danced around, the bottle of vodka tight in my hand. I took another large swig, no longer feeling the burn and I completely forgot why I was upset in the first place. Before I knew it, I had taken the last mouthful of the bottle. I looked at the time and was hardly able to read it; it was nine-thirty already. I had been dancing around for an hour already? I felt pulled towards the couch as I set the bottle down and walked wobbly over to the couch. I fell down onto, my knees tucking in under me and my head hitting the arm with a thud. I felt nothing as I tried to move my arms and legs but I felt trapped, I heard a knock at the door and tried to move to grab it. I couldn't move. What had I done? I heard the rustling of keys and prayed my mother's flight hadn't been cancelled, she couldn't see me like this! The door shut and I heard light footsteps coming towards the room. The music was still playing and my body still felt numb as I saw a figure begin to enter the doorway. As red hair brushed through the door, I sighed, it was just Ariana.

"Hey!" I cried,

"Oh my god! Liz! What the hell happened to you!" Her hands went up into the air in a questioning rage and then she spotted the empty vodka bottle.

"You drank!" she exclaimed,

"Calm down! You party pooper, I was just trying to chill out. Avan is a man-whore, I hate him, he cheated on me and Victoria is a faggot and I hate her too" It all came tumbling out my mouth before I could stop it, but I didn't regret it as I tried to roll over and just felt dizziness and numbness, but it felt good. I felt as if all my problems were little balloons and I had just popped them all, they had gone away. Ariana stared at me in amazement.

"Liz? Is this why you have been so upset lately? Avan ... and you? But why is Victoria...?" she asked confused,

"Avan and I were the best! We watched movies and made out and he was a great kisser, and he said he loved me! He said he loved me and then he goes and fucking does that!" I sobbed into my pillow, feeling the hurt, rage and depression seeping back into me. Ariana came over to me and held her arm around my shoulders and looked at me as if I was the worst thing she had ever seen and wanted to help.

Ariana's POV

I held her in my arms; I had no idea what to say. I knew she and Avan had gotten pretty close and possibly hooked up. But love? I never knew that was a word they had exchanged to each other. She sobbed loudly into my chest as my arms tightened around her. I flipped the TV off using my feet as the remote had been dropped on the floor when Liz had rolled over. The blaring of the music stopped and i could finally, truly focus.

"He keeps on trying to tell me what happened and that he really does love me, but, I can't listen, the only thing that runs through my head is them. It replays over and over in my head, that bitch was making out with him and I don't know whether he wanted her to!" She squealed. Her eyes were smudged black, watery holes, looking up at me with icy blue centres. Her mouth was pulled down in a depressed frown and her nose was beginning to slowly run. I wiped the dripping eyeliner from under her eyes and held her closer.

She whimpered into me more, wrapping her arms around me too.

"Liz, I want you to know, it will be okay, and everything will sort itself out, Okay?" I said to her, rubbing her back but there was no response. I looked down at her and pushed her shoulders forward, she wasn't crying anymore. Hell, she wasn't doing anything anymore. I shook her shoulders and said,

"Liz? LIZ?"

Her eyes didn't open and I automatically threw my two fingers against the main vein in her neck. It was pulsing but very faintly. I called the only person I knew would come to her, no matter what.

"Hello?" a familiar voice answered,

"Avan, its Ariana. It's Liz; I need you here as soon as possible!"

"What's wrong with her!" he cried, I could almost see the concerned look on his face in my head. I heard his keys jingle and the backdoor of his house slam open as he waited for a response.

"She was drinking and-"I started to explain but he cut me off,

"She was drinking! What! She doesn't drink! Why!"

"She said something about it replaying over and over in her head and how you said you loved her" I tried to say it nicely, knowing this would cut him deep, knowing she had drunk in sorrow of him. I heard a whimper; it was like he had been struck below the belt,

"Avan, are you okay?" I asked,

"Yes" he whispered, was he crying? "I'll be there in less than five minutes, keep me updated!"

"Hurry Avan, she already has a low pulse"

"Oh my god!" I could hear the strain in his voice and the screeching of tyres as he, assumably, pulled out of his driveway and sped down the street. The phone cut out and I went back to Liz, I slapped her lightly across the face, making sure she wasn't just sleeping but nothing happened. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I pondered whether this was the time to use the skills my father had taught me about mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Avan's POV

My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter than I had ever gripped it before. My foot was pressed down on the accelerator and my eyes were narrowed, glued to the road. I squeezed around slowing cars and rammed through yellow lights just changing to red. I would probably get about ten-thousand speeding tickets in the morning, but I didn't care at all. She was in trouble. She had drunk. She never drunk and Ariana had called me to help her, this wasn't good. My heart was pounding in my chest and fear and worry burned all over my tanned skin like a rash. I had spent most of the afternoon on my guitar, playing depressing music by wonderful artists who had written songs that half-expressed how I felt. These songs that showed how sad you were when the love of your life slipped through your fingers, because you were too carless. However, a lot of these ended happily, the lover finally accepting the other's mistake, my story didn't have a happy ending, and hopefully it would, soon. I had been in a trance, my eyes blinking every ten seconds, my feet transitioning from pedal to pedal as I rounded corners, my hands spinning the wheel left and right. I knew the route to Liz's so well, I was almost on autopilot as I screeched to a stop in her driveway and before I knew it I had thrown open her front door and was calling out Ariana's name.

"Avan, we are in here!" she called; I stormed through to the living room to see Ariana bent over Liz. She was flat on the couch, her lips pale, her face even paler than normal and her breathing slow and ragged. I bent down to her and caressed her cheek.

"No, you can't do this!" I said, my eyes starting to water up. I shoved them away with my sleeve and slipped my hands under her. One under the bottoms of her knees, the other under her small neck. Her long hair draped over my shoulder as I hoisted her up and began to walk out the door.

"Avan, where-"Ariana began and I cut her off for the second time tonight,

"She needs a hospital" I lugged her out to the car and climbed into the driver's seat. Her head rested on my lap as I shuffled over. Ariana climbed into the passenger seat and wrapped her arms around Liz's legs, securing her. I hit the gas again and zoomed as fast as I could to the nearest hospital.

"What happened?"

"She was drinking Vodka, listening to really loud music and dancing around. Then she started crying and screamed at me about how she felt so confused and scared and sad. She called you and Victoria some names"

I winced at my name and Victoria's laced together, my blood boiled at the thought of seeing Liz in pain. We spun around the corner, and I saw a hospital down the road. I pushed harder on the accelerator, pushing the old truck almost to its limit. I screeched once again, my tyres were going to be burnt to shreds by the end of tonight. I kicked the door open, jumped down and picked her up once more in my arms. I carried her through the emergency glass sliding doors and gazed at the receptionist. Her eyes brushed me up and down, with little worry, it was obviously normal for people to walk in carrying someone. I almost screamed at her, just to show a bit more care towards her.

"We need her looked at right away!" I said, staring her down, I had to do everything to make sure Liz got attention right away.

"Okay love" she said, she tapped a few things into her computer screen and pointed down the hall. Go down that hall, turn left, you should then see the blue ward up ahead and when you reach number 17, go inside. There is a doctor there who will check her out. I nodded and hurried off, almost forgetting the instructions. Ariana trailed on nervously behind me, her blue skirt flying off behind her brisk pace. I still wore my jeans and combat boots, a dark blue tee and a leather jacket. My keys jingled in my pockets as I took long brisk strides through the white, antiseptic smelling hospital. Finally, I reached number 17 and Ariana yanked open what was remaining of the half open curtain. The doctor turned around with his brow already furrowed and said,

"Okay, on the bed"

I silently walked over and laid her down onto the white sheets. I looked at her, she looked like a sleeping angel and I couldn't get over the fact that I was probably the cause of it. I laid her back down first and then her legs, her head lolled slightly against the pillow and flopped towards me. I kissed her on the lips, I could feel the tears starting to push at my eyes as the guilt inside of me was overwhelming. Her lips tasted like vodka which made me wince. I pulled away to see Ariana looking down at us with a little shock but a slight happiness as she realised that I really did love her. The doctor began to usher Ariana and myself out. Ariana trotted out but I held my hands up and said,

"I'm not leaving her"

"Son, you have to leave her, I mean-"

"My name is Avan" I said sharply, I crossed my arms over my chest. I could feel my heart hammering through my chest and the soft cotton of my shirt.

"Avan..." he corrected and then continued, "I must ask you to leave, I understand this girl means something to you but-"

"Means something to me?" I asked in disbelief and ran my hands through my now knotted and wind-blown hair. I shut my eyes in anger, "She doesn't just mean something to me! I love her!"

I hadn't realised my voice had risen and the doctor was slightly cowering under my arms which were now thrown up in the air as protest.

"Okay, okay, calm down. There is a chair over there, sit down but I have to ask you to stay quiet and not bother her, at all" he looked at me with trusting eyes, he trusted me to keep his word and I was trusting him to believe me that I would. He nodded and then went over to her. The lights in the ward were dim so that the other patients could sleep, so he turned on a little personal room light to look at her. He slowly opened her eyes, shining a torch light in them and then mumbling to himself. He checked her pulse and then attactched her arm to some machine. I was pacing the floor, my hands unknotting my hair and my eyes squeezing shut over and over again. He wrapped his stethoscope back around his neck and straightened her out and went to pull the blanket over her. I was already there, I lifted the slim sheets and pulled them up to her chin. He looked at me a little annoyed at my interference but let it drop.

"She has a mild alcohol poisoning, she will be fine. She just needs to rest and that IV fluid will help her for a few hours. She should be fine to leave by the morning"

"Really?" I asked,

"Really" the doctor said before nodding at me and leaving the room.

I pulled the small chair that I was allowed to sit in to the bedside and held her hand in mine. It was cooler than normal and that made deep pains swirl inside of me. I put my head onto her hand and whispered to her,

"Liz, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I swear to God, I swear on my life, I swear it meant nothing. She came into the room and I thought it was you. I was positive it wasn't you but before I could stop her, you walked in" I sniffled onto the bed sheets as I felt small tears slide down my cheeks. "Jesus Christ, I am so sorry!" I whispered hoarsely.

I held her hand for the entire night, praying she was going to be okay even though the doctor said she was fine. The whole night, I came up with a plan to prove exactly how much she meant to me, I had it all sorted out and needed to organise it. When the clock struck five that morning, I regretfully slid my hand out of hers, kissed her on the forehead and exited, ready to put my plan into action.