Hey peoples! Sorry for the slow update! I hope you enjoyed the last chapter! I like the funny approach! Ca-flea-sto! Hehehe! I have to admit I love that! Sorry if I sound vain but it's one of my best ones! Anyway, this is the second half of this episode and I'm hoping it'll be funny! Thank you so much for all the kind reviews so far and please keep them coming (pretty please?!) Love you all! xXx Happy reading! :D

Something Old, Something New: Part II:

Callisto POV:

I looked up looking horrified. I couldn't believe it! Draco, I've never seen him in combat but he looked really strong and Xena didn't look totally pleased to see him. He was tall and muscular and his army were in pretty much the same shape...I was screwed.

"Callisto what's wrong?"

"Joxter...Xena isn't in any condition to fight and Gabrielle is too distracted to fight! I'll have to take them on, on my own!" I'd have a hard time with this bad itching! Ugh!

"I'll take them on with you and with fleas you really shouldn't fight."

"Joxter, I'll say this once more and once more only! I. Do. Not. Have. Fleas!"

"Thank Hades that's the last time! She's Ca-flea-sto everyone and she's my girl Joxter so get outa the way!" she exclaimed pushing him away and walking over to me and trying to kiss me.

I pushed her back and she said that she saw another hot flea.

"Xena why are you scratching?" I asked.

"I don't know I'm just so itchy!" she exclaimed scratching herself wildly. I looked on in disgust. She suddenly slapped her arm which made me flinch. She looked up at me and threw me a dirty look.

"What?!"

"You. Gave. Me. Fleas!" she shouted.

"I do not have fleas!"

"Yes you do and you gave them to me!!! But that's ok..." she smiled and started caressing my face.

Xena what is wrong with you?

Please tell me cuz I don't have a clue,

Why are you kissing everyone?

From me to Callisto to even the horses son.

"Gabrielle stop it!" I demanded.

But we've got to fight them, fight them, and fight them

They've got to go; they've got to go, got to go—

I hit Gabrielle across the face. She fell unconscious. I couldn't stop scratching!

"Listen Joxter the minger..."

"Mighty!"

"Joxter the 'mighty' I don't think that these warriors are suitable to defend us. Clearly they don't get on, one has fleas, one is permanently horny and one is a blasted walking musical! I'm sorry Joxter but we must ask you and your friends to leave."

"C'mon! Look, they're not usually like this. Xena is a legend and used to have her own army, Callisto is an amazing warrior and Gabrielle is the brainiest girl I've ever met. You won't get better than them. Please? Just give them a chance?"

"Joxter, if giving them a chance means getting us all killed and losing our town to these lowlifes then no we won't. Please Joxter, leave with your friends. We don't want you here; you'll only make things worse."

"But c'mon!"

"Joxter lets just go. We're obviously not welcome..."

"Fine but you won't be so smug when they're killing you and you'll be saying: 'Joxter the mighty and his sidekicks could've saved us!' Who'll be cocky then?!" he exclaimed.

"Joxter, I've got a plan that'll get us a lot of credit and save them at the same time. Let's just go!" I whispered. He slapped my arm and screamed.

"What was that about?!"

"Flea..." he said softly.

"Ugh! I do not have fleas!" I insisted.

"Whatever...fine we'll go; but you'll be sorry later on!"

Joxter stormed out and left me to take out Gabrielle and Xena. I picked up Gabrielle and tried to drag Xena out at the same time.

"Oh poor Gabbie; let me kiss her and see if sleeping beauty wakes up!" I was about to say no but I came up with a solution to get Xena out of here.

"How about outside Xena, everyone here will just be looking and you might prefer some privacy outside...it might be more romantic...." I smiled.

"You're right!" Xena smiled and ran straight out. Joxter would surely run away from her advances into the forest so I could sort things out there."

I ran straight out with Gabrielle and as assumed she was running after Joxter into the forest. I ran to the left because they went to the right and I set Gabrielle down.

"Aphrodite!? Aphrodite!?" I called. She appeared with a big smile on her face.

"Problem Ca-flea-sto?" she chuckled.

"No! Well yes! And I don't have fleas!" I insisted.

"Sure sure! Why did you call me anyway? I was just getting cosy with a couple of guys!"

"Please change them back! They are driving me crazy!"

"I will on one condition..."

"What I'll do anything just please stop this!"

"Stand up in the centre of town and tell them all that you have fleas!" she said and started laughing.

"No way!"

"Ah why not?!"

"Because I don't have fleas!"

"Sure, sure! You tell yourself that and you might believe it eventually!"

"Aphrodite please?!" I begged.

"Goodbye!" she smiled and clicked her fingers and disappeared.

Ugh! "Aphordite!" I called.

"Uh huh?" she smiled when she re-appeared.

"I won't ask for you to cure them yet but could you do one thing for me?"

"Well, that depends!"

"Could you...make Gabrielle fall in love with everything? Like Xena does?" She chuckled and clicked her fingers. "Done!" she exclaimed and then disappeared. I picked her up quickly and ran to find Xena.

"Xena!" I called when I saw her.

"Oh Callisto!" she smiled and came running towards me. Just as she was about to kiss me I showed her Gabrielle and then I set her on the ground.

"Will you be here for when she wakes up?" I asked.

"Sure," she smiled caressing her face.

"Thanks," I smiled and I ran away to get back to the town before Draco and his men took over. I couldn't stop scratching and it was going to affect my performance.

"Aphrodite," I called softly.

"Uh huh?" she replied smiling.

"Ok...I'm desperate...yes I have fleas and please get rid of them...please..."I said wearily.

"Oh my dear you're desperate...well...I'll make a deal with you...if you tell everyone in town that you have fleas I'll get rid of them...but only because lives are at risk and there will be less people to love each other..."

"Thank you," I said and she teleported me to the town centre where there were many people.

"Go on!" Aphrodite exclaimed as she pushed me up towards the podium.

"Okay; everyone, I have fleas and I've got a lot and they're making me really itchy and it's disgusting...I just thought you should know..." I said and walked down to Aphrodite and people were walking away from me.

"Finish off the deal..." I said softly. She clicked her fingers and the itching was gone. Then she disappeared.

I quickly ran from person to person telling them to get out of town. I started immediately because Aphrodite slowed me down quite a bit. I saw Draco and he was laughing when he saw me.

"Don't bother fighting back Ca-flea-sto!" he laughed.

"I told you I don't have fleas!" I shouted over taking out my sword.

"Ooooh!" he and all of his army said. I chuckled as I walked over to him.

"I'll make a deal with you...we both fight to the death...if you win, do what you like, take this town but if I win, your army leaves...do we have a deal?"

"Oh sure! I'm going to win anyway! But how do I know Xena won't come back and kill me after you've been killed and stop this town been taken over anyway?"

"Xena is hardly in a condition to fight unless you didn't notice. And Gabrielle is far too distracted...now," I smiled.

"You better not of hurt Gabrielle!" he shouted.

"Oh no I didn't hurt her...I just made her fall in love with everything like Xena is and ...well...I won't bore you with the details of what they're probably doing now." I grinned so he'd become annoyed.

"No way, Gabrielle is in love with me! She just doesn't know it yet!"

"Oh she knows that she's not in love with you! Don't worry!" I chuckled.

"I'll kill you!" he screamed taking out his sword.

"But we still have that deal?" I asked.

"Yeah of course, I'm not going to lose!"

We started fighting and he was very strong. I could see why Xena wasn't please to see him and his army. It was a tough fight...

Sometime later:

Ugh that was hard! My whole body is aching but at least the fleas are gone! I spotted Joxter hiding behind a tree.

"What's wrong honey?" I called over.

"Uh...Callisto...Xena was chasing me a few hours ago. She um...came to her senses about me," he said looking worried.

I chuckled, "Don't worry; I'd say things should go back to normal. Will I come back for you when things are ok?"

"Okay!" he smiled. I kissed him passionately and went to find Xena and Gabrielle where I left them; I'd assumed they hadn't moved!

"Oh Gabrielle I love you so much!" Xena said as she was kissing her very passionately, I'll just leave it at kissing...I won't write down what else they were doing!

Xena I love you so much, you are so hot,

Please get back to kissing me and never stop-

"Aphrodite!" I called to block out the rest of what she was about to say.

"Uh huh!" she called as she appeared from nowhere.

"Could you please...um...get them back to normal?"

"Okay! You can mock them now!" she laughed and clicked her fingers.

"You're the love of my life," Xena said and continued to kiss her and...

"I don't think it worked Aphrodite..." I whispered.

"I love you so much Xena," Gabrielle said kissing her back very eagerly.

I turned to Aphrodite. "It did work...so that means..."

"Well! Maybe you might be able to stop them this time!" she chuckled and disappeared into thin air.

Well, that's it for this chapter and I hope you enjoyed it! That's it for this episode and I hope you enjoyed the humorous approach! Thank you so much for all the kind reviews so far and please keep them coming! I'm starting another Fan Fiction which involves Callisto, Eve, Ares, Discord, Gabrielle and Xena. Yes I know Eve is the reincarnation of Callisto but I've a reason for them to both be in it. If you like I can send you a privet mail when I post that which should be within two weeks hopefully. If you're interested in it let me know through a review to send you a privet male or you could put me on author alert...It's going to be called 'Soul Mates' so please keep an eye out for that! Okay then, I shall be off! Please review! I'll update as soon as possible! Bye peoples! :D xXx