Chapter 12. A Night of Passion

We were now back at the mansion, in our bedroom. My heart was beating erratically as I stared into his ruby eyes. I had brushed his long hair tonight too, as I usually did.

"Ferid..." I said, my eyes cast down.

I was shy.

"Are you scared ?" He asked, merely out of curiosity.

He loved it when humans were afraid, when they had lost all hope and were falling into despair. I could only nod at him, not knowing what to say. I thought about doing the first move but as soon as I had thought that, I was pinned against the wide bed. I watched the features of his beautiful face and of his strong body. People didn't know how gorgeous Aristes actually, really was. Was I...in...no, no no no, I wasn't. I hated him.

Hate ? As soon as I thought that, I regretted it. No, I didn't hate him, I couldn't.

...

He bit me in an incredibly sensual way, more than he had ever done so before. I unconsciously moaned out loud, drowning in that feeling of pleasure and...and lust ? As he pulled away slightly from my neck, we both instantly kissed each other, our lips touching, melting into a passionate, fast and strong kiss. He wanted me because I was beautiful and I wanted him because-...because...did I desire his body, because of his beauty ? Or because...? His hand reached my thights and mine tangled with his silky hair. He playfully licked and bit my neck, making me moan. I kissed his neck over and over, sometimes making him shiver and bit his ear, receiving a low growl from him. I smiled. When he sensed I was ready, he tore appart my night robe. I lost all control over my mind and body.

...

There were no words to explain what he made me feel that night. I didn't even understand my own feelings for him anymore. Sometimes I hated him, sometimes I wished he would see me as something more than a rare specimen, and that night...I almost believed that I loved him. I wanted him so much, I craved for him. As he held me thightly against him, I was happy and my body was blissful. I fell asleep smiling, in his arms. It was so unbelievable and so shameful at the same time. What would Yuu and Mika think of me ?

The next days that passed were peaceful. I wasn't taking any lessons and I was free to wander the mansion as I pleased, while I waited for my mate to return home. I laughed out loud at the thought. I was ashamed of myself. How could I call the place of the vampire who killed my family, my "home" ? But in that shy corner of my heart and mind...I couldn't deny the fact that this place really was my home and that...well...nothing. When the night came, Ari- no, Ferid came home and it was rare for us to have a husband-wife kind of conversation. I tried a few times to act wife-ish by asking what he had done during the day and casual questions like that, but it only made me look awkward. I'd rather reply sarcastically to his playful remarks. Besides, we mostly had sex as soon as he came home at night.

My life then didn't have much meaning. I wasn't protecting anyone, I wasn't trying to discover the secret the laboratory tried to hide and I didn't even care about escaping. No one needed me, so I didn't know what to do anymore. Since our marriage, I didn't have any contact with the outside world, not even outside the mansion itself. I didn't have any motivation nor will, to do anything. I wasn't happy nor sad but that changed when Aristes was here. He made me feel so many emotions- feelings...he made me feel alive when he was here. But it was also because of him that I was in that "I don't care about anything" state. He was the one who took away what I held most precious to my heart. But then, what was precious to me now ? Myself, perhaps ? No I didn't really care. Then...Ferid ? My heart skipped a beat at the thought and my cheeks flushed. What was wrong with my body lately ? I furrowed my eyebrows in irritation.

And then I heard his voice calling me from afar. I immediately stood up from the balcony where I was sitting and rushed past the servants, to the corridor in which he was walking, his arms spread wide, expecting me to hug him as I always did. I jumped in his arms, my feet leaving momentarily the ground as he held me. I was smiling. I was happy. Why ? I didn't deserve to be when all the children who could have had a future died...but I couldn't stop the smile I had, to spread on my face when I heard his voice.

"You smell good." He said as he kept his nose burried in my neck, taking in my odor.

Without any hesitation from my body or rational thought from my mind, I cupped his beautiful face in my hands and kissed him. He looked surprised. So was I. What the hell was I doing ? How bold of me. Embarrassed and shy, I took step back and he smirked while looking at me with his red eyes. He scooped me up and went to our bedroom.

With a mischievious smile, he said, "Shall we ?"

It was a given that he asked me. It was a shock that he even married a human in the first place. Of course, he didn't do it out of love. But still...how he treated me compared to other humans or even vampires, it was one of a kind. If he wanted something, he could force it out of anyone but he still asked me...

With a shy smile, I nodded.

And yet another passionate night had place between us.

...

A month later, I started to collect my thoughts a little. I came out of that depression, thinking I had to keep myself together. There were still humans, children who needed my help out there. Why and how did I wake up from my lifeless-doll state ? Well, it all started one week ago when I noticed Ferid wasn't taking much of my blood anymore...rather, he almost never came to me for it anymore and that bothered me very much. I was suddenly scared that maybe my blood had became plain or boring to him. That would be no surprise. But that wasn't it.

One day, when I roamed inside the corridors of the mansion, I noticed he was with someone else in his living room. I wonder why he hadn't come to meet me yet, since it was already night. And then I understood why. He was feeding. He was feeding from a boy. That boy came pratically everyday to feed my mate and in exchange, Aristes gave the boy food. I had to stop him from doing that. Or from the others to get trampled by those vampire guards. One day, I walked outside the mansion, determined to help whoever was in danger, until I saw Aristes himself...strangling that same boy who fed him.

"Do not think you are special. Your blood is disgusting. You must be really desperate to urge me to drink your filthy blood. You are only a fly like every single human, and with my hand, I shall end that miserable life of yours."

His fingers tightened around the boy's neck but before he could kill the boy, I had flown to save him, stealing the boy out of Aristes's hand. I looked at him with fear of what he was about to do next. To my relief, he only spoke.

"What do you think you're doing, Zakuro-chan ?" He asked with that dangerously blank smile of his.

I gulped. The boy coughed and gasped for air and before I even noticed, he lost consciousness.

"He disrespected me and that will cost his life. I hate the smell of his blood, even the sight of that filthy human."

"Then why did you take his blood in the first place ? Why did you drink it day after day ? You gave him hope and now he's-"

My voice stopped dead. Aristes wore that most evil smile of his. He gave the child hope. Yes, yes...that was it. Aristes gave hope to humans...to only tear it appart with the most terrifying way and then enjoyed watching them drown in despair. That's what he was doing to this boy, right now. It's all a game to him. Even the murder of my friends...he waited for us at the entrance to the tunnel that led to our freedom...and then tore our hope appart and away, leaving only fear and sadness...it was all a game. I gently laid the child against the wall and slapped Aristes with all the anger that boiled inside me. He didn't expect it.

"How can you be so cruel, Aristes ?!" I practically yelled at him.

And the next second, he had grabbed my wrists, pinning me against the wall in a violent way, hitting the back of my head at the same time. He was mighty angry. His fangs pierced his way into my skin and flesh, it was violent, fast and furious and it hurt like hell. I screamed at the excruciating pain he made me feel, letting tears fall down my cheeks. I sobbed at his rough and violent gesture. Since our unification, he had been gentle with me, so I wasn't prepared for him to-...well to...to be the fearful, cold-blooded vampire he always was.

He pulled his face away slightly, to lay his angry eyes on me.

"Do not misbehave, human." He said in the coldest voice I had ever heard from him.

The tears kept falling and my body started shaking. Why was I so weak ? Why was I not fighting back ? For the first time, I really was afraid of him and not because he was a threat to the other humans but because he hurt me. He let go of my wrists and as soon as he did, I fell to the floor, my legs giving in. And like that, he looked upon me with a dark look in his eyes and walked away. It took a few minutes for me to calm down but I eventually did. I returned the boy to his home, his family was looking for him.

I walked in the city without looking where I was going, it didn't matter. As long as I was away from the mansion, then it was good. I couldn't go back there and look at my mate then sleep in his bed as if nothing had happened. I raised my eyes as I saw the ground on which I was walking had become a glistening, bright white. Ah, I had walked to the exit of this city, to the tunnel that led outside. I was alone and nobody was here right now. I could leave. I could run away if I wanted. I felt the cold breeze blow inside. Yes, I could escape...Ferid wasn't here to stop me.

I took one step forward but couldn't bring myself to do another one. Tears slipped down my eyes. The truth is...I didn't want to leave...I...didn't want to part from Aristes's side...no matter how cruel he was to me, no matter how much he hurt me, physically and mentally. With weak legs, I sat against the white gate, next to the tunnel and pulled my knees to my forehead. I sobbed as I cried to my heart's content. I felt a sadness in my mind and a pain in my heart. Why was I so miserable and weak ? Why ?? I didn't know what time it was when I fell asleep, but I did, in this desolate place.

In my sleep, I heard someone call my name, a gentle voice I knew and loved. I knew by then that hours had passed. The voice kept repeating my name gently, until I woke up. I realized I was still in the same position as before, my knees pulled closely to myself. I slowly raised my eyes and saw my mate. He was kneeling in front of me, looking at me with a face I couldn't read. Was it neutral ? Or perhaps thoughtful ? Maybe both. Was there...worry ? No, that wasn't possible for him to feel such an emotion, espacially for a human...even for me.