Chapter 12

To say that Doctor Nikidik and I had a strained professor-student relationship would be putting it lightly. In my opinion, he was not suited to teach; he discouraged questions and free thought, and it seemed to be his personal mission to make the history of Oz as boring as possible, and most of my classmates already found it boring under Doctor Dillamond's teaching. And I was pretty sure I had made a lasting first impression on him, as the obnoxious green girl who disrupted his class and undermined his authority on no less than his first day of teaching. Thankfully, he didn't take this out on my grades (I think Madam Morrible would have quickly put a stop to that), but every day when he saw me in class, I always got the impression that he had been hoping that I would be absent. I got a strange sense of satisfaction out of that.

I recall one day in March when we really came head to head. "Alright, students, I know we've had a tough couple of weeks, with the exam last week and the paper that was due yesterday," Doctor Nikidik said in his usual pompous manner. "So, I thought I'd give you all a treat today. Today, we will take a break from history, and discuss current events. Yes, Miss Nessarose? Question?"

"Doctor Nikidik, could we possibly talk about the implications of last year's election in Munchkinland?" Nessa asked hopefully. "Because, ever since his induction in November, Senator Bronzeman has almost single handedly slowed down everything my father has tried to do. The political climate in Munchkinland is changing, and-…"

"Yes, Miss Nessarose, that is a very interesting conversation," Doctor Nikidik interrupted. "But I thought we might discuss something in national politics that affects all of us. Like the recent Animal Banns? Yes, Miss Pfannee?"

"Over Lurlinemas break, I heard my parents talk about something called the Animal Registry," Pfannee said. "I don't get it. Why would Animals need to be registered or whatever?"

"Why, in case they revolt, of course!" Doctor Nikidik answered happily, making me want to vomit. "If a revolt does take place, we can easily find out exactly who the perpetrators are, and thus exact justice swiftly!"

"But don't we have the census for that?" I asked, unable to be silent any longer. "Every Ozian citizen has a record in the government, but now Animals are getting something extra. To me, that doesn't seem exactly fair."

Doctor Nikidik looked at me like I had three heads for a few seconds, and then finally said, "I beg your pardon, Miss Elphaba, but I didn't quite understand-…"

I tried to keep from losing my temper. "We have a census. Why isn't that good enough for all Ozians?"

"Well, Miss Elphaba, um … that's a very good point. Um, yes, well done." Utterly pathetic. He didn't even try to understand me. Well, luckily, the history department required that he give us a final paper on a topic of our choosing, and that was where I planned to make my opinions known to him, in a medium where he couldn't use my illness as an excuse to ignore what I was saying.

But while I was happy to cut Doctor Nikidik a little slack that day, it soon became clear that Galinda was not. "Um, excuse me, Doctor Nikidik!" she exclaimed indignantly. "But I was wondering if you could repeat Miss Elphaba's comment to the rest of the class. That is, if you understood it, which it seems like you didn't. Well, in that case, I'll repeat it. Miss Elphaba pointed out that there is a census for all Ozians, regardless of their species, thus making the Animal Registry redundant. It's an excellent point; pity you didn't take the time to understand it."

"You ignored my point too, Doctor," Nessa snapped. "And I don't even have a speech impediment for you to hide behind."

"She's right," Boq added, making Doctor Nikidik go from red to purple in the face. "You're obsessed with the Animal Banns; you talk about them every chance you get! We're sick of hearing about them!"

"That is quite enough!" Doctor Nikidik yelled over the chaos that had erupted. "Clearly this discussion was a mistake! Turn to page 658 in your textbooks and we'll start with Ozma the Pious' first act as queen."

"Do you think Madam Morrible would expel Elphie and me if we turned Doctor Nikidik into a toad?" Galinda asked that day at lunch. "'Cause I really want to turn Doctor Nikidik into a toad, but I know I couldn't do it by myself."

"Glin, I think I hate Doctor Nikidik even more than you do, but I'm not gonna be your partner in crime in this," I said. "I'm pretty sure Morrible would expel us."

Galinda pouted. "But he totally blew you off! He blew all of us off, but especially you, Elphie. It was completely unfairified!"

"You're right; it was." I sighed. "But, to cut him a little bit of a break, I don't think he was just pretending not to understand me. I can always tell with him."

"But he made no effort to understand you! So, I'm thinking he would quickly learn how frustrating not being understood is if all he could do was croak."

"But Miss Galinda, you have to admit that even we are starting to have trouble understanding her," Boq pointed out. "Granted, we're not jerks about it like Nikidik was today, but still."

I nodded in agreement. "Over spring break, I had to talk to Father almost exclusively through Nessa. He could barely understand a word."

"You know, you could, and this is just a suggestion, so don't hex me or anything, but you could get a synthetic voice machine." At the look I gave him, Boq quickly amended, "Or not. Maybe we all just need to get used to the way you talk now."

A few weeks later, I had my usual monthly appointment with Dr. Headly-Silon. And for the first time, Galinda managed to convince me to let her come. I think I knew somehow that Dr. Headly-Silon would suggest what Boq had, only with more persuasive arguments and a medical degree to back her up. My greatest fear related to this disease was slowly but surely coming true, and I honestly didn't think I could face it without Galinda there.

"Good afternoon, Elphaba!" Dr. Headly-Silon greeted me in her usual cheerful manner that I think there must be a class on in medical school. "And you must be …"

"Galinda Upland!" Galinda said happily, shaking Dr. Headly-Silon's hand. "Pleased to finally meet you!"

"Likewise! I've heard so much about you!" She turned back to me. "Now, Elphaba, I'm just going to make a suggestion that you absolutely do not have to take today, but-…"

"You're gonna suggest a communication device, aren't you?" I interrupted. "Fine. I'm ready." Or rather, I knew that I had to be ready if I wanted to express my thoughts in an effective way for the remainder of my life.

Dr. Headly-Silon was clearly expecting more of a fight from me. "Oh! Alright then!" She pulled from what I had affectionately started calling her "bag of tricks" a machine that resembled the computers that Boq worked on for his technology minor. Dr. Headly-Silon looked at it as one would look at their newborn baby. "The Natravox 600. I am proud to say that I had a hand in designing this one. Just give me a clock tick to mount it, and then you can try it out!"

"It's smaller than I thought it would be," Galinda remarked to me. "It looks cool." It did look kind of cool, but I personally was more concerned with how it would sound.

"Okay, mounted!" Dr. Headly-Silon said breathlessly. "Most people don't have a bookstand, so that threw me off for a second. Okay, so this device is kind of my baby because it's the first successful mix of technology and magic. We used computer codes from the Wizard's world (we actually improved on them) for the basic design, and then our sorcery team cast some enchantments to make your voice sound as natural as possible and extend battery life. And this is an eyegaze device because you know how I like to think ahead, so just look at the screen to activate it, and you should be able to figure it out from there."

I met Galinda's eyes for an instant and turned to look at my new device. It's okay. Don't go into melodramatic mode. That's not constructive. This is just going to be a backup for when people don't understand you. The screen immediately blossomed with the alphabet, along with a message box at the top. Next to this was a SPEAK button. Pretty self-explanatory, as Dr. Headly-Silon had said. So I went and typed out the most trite, uncreative sentence I could possibly come up with. "My … name … is … Elphaba … Thropp." My eyes fell on the SPEAK button, and the device spoke my words almost instantly. "My name is Elphaba Thropp."

"Oh my Oz!" Galinda breathed. "That's amazifying! The voice – it sounds just like you, Elphie!"

Dr. Headly-Silon chuckled. "Yes, that long, boring recording session is certainly paying off now, isn't it, Elphaba?"

I nodded. "Yeah. This … this will do."

That evening, I was able to push my "Oh my Oz! I'm losing my ability to speak" feelings aside to make room for a determination to really make this device my own. I saved certain sentences that I knew I would have to say a lot, such as a bit about my skin, a bit about my disease (I honestly didn't know which one people would see first now), my age, my major, and so on.

The first history class after I got my device, I didn't make a single comment, either verbally or with my device. That made Doctor Nikidik get caught even more off guard when I rolled up to his desk at the end of class. "Y-Yes, Miss Elphaba?" It was hard to keep a straight face; he actually seemed frightened of me!

I merely glared at him and started typing. I hadn't written my message ahead of time, even though I had considered it, because I really wanted to make him as uncomfortable as possible. I wanted his uneasiness to grow with every clock tick I typed. And it worked. Again, it was hard not to smile as he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, clearly getting impatient. But I kept on typing. "Doctor Nikidik … I … have … a … topic … proposal … for … my … final … paper. I … would … like … to … write … about … Animal … culture … and … how … it's … been … shaped … by … the ... various … attitudes … towards … Animals … throughout … history. Does … that … sound … good … to … you?" SPEAK.

"Um, um, y-yes, Miss Elphaba," he managed to stutter out. "That topic is, um, a little controversial, I might say, but the guidelines say that you can pick any topic you want, so … of course. I look forward to reading it." And then I resolved that whenever my brain wanted to have a little pity party over all that I was losing, I would remember this moment. Revenge is sweet.