Chapter 12

Connecting

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."

-Maya Angelou

-xxx-

Sakura took a deep breath, grateful to taste fresh air on her tongue. It was good to be out of the tunnels.

After a quick breakfast and a last minute check of their supplies, Hebi had left the Uchiha hideout. Most of them had acquired new clothes, and all five were currently wearing black cloaks that Sakura assumed were meant to be some sort of unofficial uniform. Apparently, this was where the hunting-Itachi-down phase of Sasuke's plan came into action.

"So...where are we headed?" Sakura asked.

"To the Akatsuki," Sasuke said.

She rolled her eyes. "Gee, could you be a little more cryptic with that?"

He ignored her, and she frowned. He went from stroking her neck and staring at while she slept (when she'd awoken with his eyes on her she was fairly certain that was what he was doing) to outright ignoring her?

She decided not to think about it for the moment and to just enjoy the feeling of being above ground again.

She noted with amusement that a few birds were hovering above Juugo. The blonde man extended one large arm towards them, smiling gently as one settled on his wrist.

Sakura blinked. She'd never seen anyone do that with a wild bird before. Was this another of Juugo's strange abilities?

Juugo seemed to notice the direction of her gaze. "Do you want to hold one?"

"Can I?" she asked timidly. "I mean, if I'm going to scare it or something..."

"It's fine," he said, extending the hand the bird perched on towards her arm, tilting it slightly to urge the bird to move to Sakura's wrist.

A small flutter of wings, and Sakura felt tiny claws prick her skin. The bird observed her from its perch with small dark eyes.

"Wow..." she breathed. "How do you do this?"

Juugo shrugged.

"Better hope it doesn't shit on your hand, Princess," Suigetsu quipped.

Sakura let out a reluctant laugh.

"We're going," Sasuke barked, feeling needled somehow by her casual interaction with Juugo and Suigetsu.

Sakura rolled her eyes but started after him obediently, deliberately jostling her wrist so the bird took flight and winged back to Juugo.

-xxx-

It was only when they were practically on top of the small village that Sakura learned Sasuke was going to check out a small hamlet that had recently been having difficulties with a group that sounded very much like the Akatsuki, and they were going to meet with the lord. Sakura still didn't know how Sasuke had gained entrance, but figured the Uchiha name was a powerful one even outside of ninja circles.

Sakura's immediate impression of the lord had simply been 'creep'. She knew a lot of lords were fair, decent people who tried to consider the needs and wants of their subjects, but some of them were obnoxious idiots who were too accustomed to their money buying them anything and everything they wanted.

Unfortunately, it seemed this lord was one of the latter. Sakura swore she could actually feel her skin crawl when the man's speculative eye had drifted up and down her body. Fortunately, he had seemed to find Karin more appealing than her, and had been quite content to ogle her for the rest of the conversation, while Sasuke masqueraded them as a mercenary group who had heard he was having a problem and could deal with it (for a fee, of course).

So when they finally retired to the small hut he'd provided for them, Sakura was nothing but relieved. Sure, they hadn't actually settled anything (there would be more haggling in the morning over the exact nature of the problem and how it would be solved and a dozen other things she couldn't really care about at the moment), but she could rest for now.

And try not to think about the fact that this might very well lead Sasuke straight to Itachi.

"I think he liked you, Princess," Suigetsu commented. "He was eyeing you up something fierce."

"He liked Karin better," she said absently.

The redhead smirked, as though the lord's regard for her had been indicative of some sort of personal victory. "He just knows beauty when he sees it!" she declared, glancing at Sasuke out of the corner of her eye.

The more Sakura interacted with Karin, the more the other woman reminded her of Sasuke's old fangirls back in Konoha. While she was clearly very smart, and her ability to detect chakra was one of the most impressive Sakura had ever seen...she tended to behave rather childishly in Sasuke's presence.

"Well, there's no accounting for taste," Suigetsu muttered.

"Shut up!" Karin screeched, smashing her fist into the side of his head. "No one asked you!"

Sakura flinched when Suigetsu's head dissolved into a wash of water for one brief moment before reforming. She had yet to get past the sheer creepiness of seeing parts of his body dissolve. Plus, the whole process looked like it had to hurt...

"They never do anything but fight..." Juugo reflected.

"Just leave them to it," Sakura sighed, long experience with bickering teammates telling her the best course of action was to just let it run its course. As long as they didn't start tearing down the hut, she really didn't have the energy or the inclination to get involved.

Sasuke seemed to be much of the same mind – he was already commandeering one corner of their lodging for himself, ignoring Suigetsu and Karin.

She tuned into the argument just long enough to hear Suigetsu's sneer about Karin 'snuggling up to the lord', when Sasuke cut in.

"If he is attracted to Karin, it is simply another avenue we can work on him from."

Sakura was rather startled by his line of thought. At times, Sasuke seemed so devoid of sexual desires it was surprising that he should recognise it in another person.

Suigetsu snickered. "Why do I get the feeling you'd be singing a very different tune if the guy had been ogling Princess?"

Sasuke pretended not to hear him.

But Suigetsu's words held an uncomfortable ring of truth. If the lord's attention had gravitated more towards Sakura, Sasuke knew he wouldn't have considered it as possible leverage, however slight. Partly because he knew what Sakura would say to him if he told her to flirt with the lord, and it wouldn't be flattering...but mostly because the mental picture of another man drooling over Sakura caused a strange possessiveness to take root in his gut.

"You have a scar," Juugo said quietly, breaking Sasuke from his thoughts.

The Uchiha turned. Sakura had frozen in the act of stretching her hands high over her head, which had hiked her shirt up above her navel, revealing the smooth skin of her stomach...and a collection of scars decorating her flesh. Most of them were faint and thin, the normal relics of ninja duty...but there was one – a wide, vertical line – that was still the dull pink of a wound inflicted in the last few months, and the callous tissue it was building was wide enough to indicate a very deep injury.

It was strange to think of Sakura as having battle wounds...and yet, that was what that scar clearly was. A battle wound.

It took Sasuke several moments to realise that Juugo was on the opposite side of Sakura, and was therefore looking at another scar. He shifted just enough to glimpse another line of pink skin...in almost the exact same spot as the scar on her back.

As though someone had run her through.

"You were stabbed?" Suigetsu asked, apparently having spotted the same scars.

"Not fast enough to get out of the way?" Karin scoffed

"Actually he was going for someone else and I got in the way," Sakura said, deliberately vague as she tugged the shirt down again.

"And you were impaled," Juugo commented.

"But, hey, I thought you were a healer," Suigetsu commented. "I mean, I'm sure you could patch yourself up, and I thought most healing jutsus didn't leave scars."

Sakura nodded. "Unless the blade is poisoned. Which this one was."

Karin was silent – for once, apparently unable to come up with a scathing comment. Sasuke wasn't saying anything either, but when Sakura risked a glance in his direction – just to see how he took the news that she didn't hang back on the sidelines anymore – there was something smouldering in his eyes. She couldn't identify it, but it made her feel uncomfortable, whatever it was, and she dropped her gaze.

-xxx-

Sasuke opened his eyes, wondering what had awakened him. Then he heard a muffled giggle, and slowly turned over on his futon to find Sakura and Juugo at the window, their profiles edged in silvery moonlight, with an owl perched on the windowsill between them.

"-and you really understand them?" Sakura was whispering. "For real? Like they were talking to you?"

"Not exactly," Juugo corrected. "It's not like talking – at least, not what you would consider talking. Their minds grasp very basic, fundamental concepts only – they don't understand sentences, but they understand the subject of the sentence...does that make sense?"

"In a way. So, you're sort of talking to them, but it's more like some sort of telepathy thing than anything else...like you're sending them pictures or signposts or something like that."

"Something like that."

"That's pretty cool."

Her soft laugh followed her rather schoolyard statement, so quiet it was more like rapid, huffing breaths than an actual chuckle.

"So...why are you up?" Sakura asked, half-turning to to Juugo, enough so that Sasuke could see the honest concern in her eyes.

"I don't sleep well," Juugo admitted. "I have...nightmares. And the...urges...make me restless."

Sakura nodded, apparently unconcerned at the fact that the huge man beside her had just admitted to being sleepless as a result of murderous impulses.

"There's something I wanted to ask you..." she began slowly as Juugo stroked a finger down the bird's chest. "I didn't ask you before, because it seems kinda personal to ask this, away from the hospital and everything..."

Juugo gave her a puzzled glance.

"Well...would you let me examine you? I mean, with the collar on, I might not be able to do much to help you, but I might be able to find out something that could help you with your...urges..."

"...You really think you could?" Juugo's voice was small, the tone of someone who was far too used to dead hopes.

"I'll try," Sakura said, not wanting to make promises she might not be able to keep. "I'll do my very best."

Juugo nodded, still looking hesitant and disbelieving. Sakura reached out and gently touched his temple, and the soft light of pure chakra began to gather around her hands.

"Is it safe to do this with the collar on?" the blonde man asked, looking concerned.

"I'll just be examining you – I won't have to use much chakra."

"But-"

"Shhh – let me concentrate."

Juugo subsided, and Sakura's eyes took on a strangely glazed expression, as though she were looking through the man's skin to the blood and muscle and bone beneath.

The moment dragged on, and just when Sasuke was beginning to feel his eyelids droop again, Sakura drew her hands away.

"It's action seems much like adrenaline," she murmured, apparently half to Juugo and half to herself. "But there are other compounds present...almost like some sort of super-charged growth hormone, but it's more than that..."

She shook her head. "I'll try again another time – I had trouble grasping it now, it seems to be ebbing..."

Juugo nodded. "The urges are starting to die. They come and go...but they are never quiet for long. And eventually..."

"They just build and build until you snap," Sakura finished, rather sadly.

There was a pause, and Juugo seemed to hesitate before speaking again. "You said I reminded you of a friend..."

"Huh? Oh, yeah..."

"May I ask who? Is there someone else...like me?"

Sakura's heart squeezed. "No, not quite like you. It's more complicated than that..." She hesitated, her urge to connect with Juugo wrestling with the ninja instinct to protect her knowledge of her comrades when away from her village.

"He has something inside him...like your urges...but it's actually a separate entity. And while this...entity...can give him enough power to stomp pretty much any opponent into the ground like a stray cockroach...the more power he takes, the more he loses himself."

Sasuke knew she was talking about Naruto.

"Is that why you left?" Juugo asked, not sounding accusing, only curious.

"I did not leave him!" Sakura hissed. "I'd be at his side right now if Sasuke would let me go!"

Another pause, this one much heavier. Sakura was frowning, and Sasuke tried to ignore the twinge of guilt at the sight.

"You really are being held against your will?" Juugo asked, and there was a hint of anger in his voice. "I mean, you were arguing with Sasuke yesterday, but I thought perhaps he was saying he would not take you somewhere..."

"No, I've been kidnapped. So if I try to escape, do me a favour and don't try to stop me."

"Sasuke is truly holding you against your will.." This time there was more than a hint of anger in Juugo's voice.

Sakura smiled. Juugo's obvious anger on her behalf was rather touching, but she didn't want him antagonising Sasuke over it. She had the feeling that Hebi was the first time Juugo had experienced any sort of human contact in a very long time, and she didn't want to jeopardize that.

"Yeah, but don't argue with him about it. He seems to think he has his reasons, though I must admit I'd love to hear what they are."

Juugo looked slightly mollified, but he was still frowning.

And Sakura found herself feeling very touched. It struck her that Juugo was the first person to really object to her captivity on her behalf – Karin's protests had nothing to do with Sakura's wellbeing, and while Suigetsu was aware she was being held against her will, he didn't try to change that situation.

Juugo was the first person who seemed as angry over her captivity as she was, and on impulse, Sakura leaned forward and hugged him, resting her head against his chest.

"But thanks for caring," she whispered.

Sasuke had the distinct feeling that he was intruding on a private moment, but something in him didn't want to look away.

Their embrace looked strange, mainly because of the contrasts between them. Sakura would have needed an extra two or three inches in height to make Juugo's collarbone, and when the large blonde awkwardly wrapped his arms around Sakura – slowly, as though afraid he might hurt her somehow – almost her entire torso was hidden by his limbs.

Sakura held the hug for a moment, feeling the gentle hesitancy in Juugo's hold, as though he wasn't quite sure how to return the embrace. Then she pulled away, smothering a rising yawn with her hand.

"Well, as much as I like chatting with you and your friend," she gestured to the owl on the windowsill, "I think I need to get to sleep again."

"Why did you wake up?" There was nothing but gentle curiosity in Juugo's voice, and Sakura smiled.

"Don't really know," she shrugged. "I just did. I have nights like that sometimes."

Sasuke closed his eyes as Sakura turned around, hearing her bedclothes rustle as she slipped between them once more.

"Goodnight, Juugo..." it was little more than a sleepy mumble.

"Goodnight, Sakura."

When Sasuke risked opening his eyes again, Sakura was dead to the world and Juugo was staring out at the night sky, his face grave.

-xxx-

Sasuke woke again when dawn was just beginning to colour the sky. It was with some surprise that he noticed that Sakura was already awake, sitting casually on the windowsill, one leg dangling into the room, swinging slowly as though she were dabbling it in some invisible pool.

It was her face that was the most arresting. There was a strange expression of peace and reflection painted across it, like the face of some goddess contemplating the human race.

"I'm not escaping, Sasuke, so don't bother getting up," she said softly, without turning around.

Sasuke didn't reply. He rose silently and made his way to the window, trying to determine what Sakura found so fascinating. But she was just looking at the sunrise, a sad smile pulling on her lips.

And for the first time, Sasuke realised how much she'd changed. He'd known – intellectually – that she'd changed, but while he'd known it, he'd always suppressed and smothered any true acknowledgment of it...any true realisation of the fact that the woman who stared into the dawn was not the same girl he'd left behind on a bench all those years ago.

This was a woman who lived in the thick of battle, instead of standing on the sidelines. This was a woman who saw obstacles as things to conquer instead of things to cry about. This was a woman who extended her hand and her heart to outcasts, instead of ridiculing them along with everyone else. This was a woman who gave insult for insult, who openly questioned him rather than accepting his words as gospel.

This was woman who repaid his indifference with indifference of her own, instead of love.

"What's the point of all this, Sasuke?" she asked quietly, her voice a sad whisper. "Why bring me along? I can barely perform a passable healing with this damn collar on, I can't use my chakra-based strength...and you certainly aren't having sex with me. So why? You've never wanted anything to do with me before...why the sudden change of heart?"

There was accusation in her voice, barely covering the bitterness beneath it.

Sasuke shifted his jaw, struck with the sudden urge to deny her thinly-veiled barb. He hadn't wanted 'nothing to do with her' when they were genin. Yes, she had been annoying at first – they'd all been irritating...but eventually, he'd come to care for them.

They were his friends.

Had been his friends! They weren't anymore – past tense, past tense...

"I had to bring you along," he settled on saying.

Sakura's eyes were sad, and for a moment, just a split second, Sasuke wanted to stroke her hair, to touch her cheek – to do something to cheer her up. But he didn't know how to begin – he specialised in putting people down, not building them up – so he did nothing.

And for the first time, this inability to offer comfort to another human being made him feel strangely inadequate. As though he'd failed some crucial test.

"But why?" she asked again. Her voice was small and pained – Sasuke would have preferred fury.

And the truth was out of his mouth before he could stop it. "You're vulnerable with the collar on. I can't remove it, and I can't let you wander around without protection."

Sakura gaped at him – she couldn't help it. That had been the last reason she would have thought of.

It was also a reason that sounded dangerously like he cared.

'Maybe he does...' came the involuntary thought. 'You have to admit, he's been acting rather...protective...lately.'

A small seed of hope flowered within her. Perhaps Sasuke's bonds to Konoha weren't as broken as he liked to think. If nothing else, he'd shown that he felt responsible for her (even if the suggestion that she was incapable of taking care of herself made her want to throttle him).

While Sakura wasn't quite ready to forgive him for dragging her off with him, she felt some of her icy anger melt, thawed by the hint of hope that maybe her and Naruto's efforts hadn't been in vain.

Sasuke turned away suddenly, but Sakura wasn't too surprised – she had a feeing those brief sentences had filled Sasuke's emotional revelations quota for the entire week. Maybe the month.

Suigetsu's theatrical groaning as he rose would have shattered their peace anyway. Juugo blinked awake (apparently having dozed off in the corner at some point in the night), and Karin muttered angrily about pre-dawn risings.

"When's breakfast?" were the first words out of Suigetsu's mouth.

"Later," Sasuke snapped. "Karin and I are going to speak to the lord again."

Sakura shook her head in exasperation. Of course he was eager to go – he had a possible lead on Itachi, and that was like dangling sausages in front of a bloodhound.

-xxx-

'And now it's raining,' Sakura thought venomously, tugging the hood of the cloak she was wearing over her head.

The skies had opened up a few hours after they'd left the village behind. Apparently the lord had pointed Sasuke and Karin towards an area where Akatsuki had often been sighted. Sakura couldn't guess why – it seemed rather desolate to her.

But then, that was just her. Maybe they had some secret base somewhere around here – underground, as seemed to be the trend with hideouts lately.

Sakura glanced up at the dark clouds overhead, and a small, homesick part of her couldn't help but wonder if it was raining in Konoha.

-xxx-

"This is pretty lousy weather," Kakashi commented, glancing at upwards at the grey clouds which were currently pouring rain onto their party.

A party that consisted of Naruto, Sai, Yamato, Shino, Kiba and Hinata, all dressed in heavy, waterproof cloaks and ready to set out. One of Jiraiya's many sources had mentioned that Sasuke and Sakura had been sighted in a village on the outskirts of Fire Country, and this was the team Tsunade had dispatched to liberate her apprentice.

Naruto's eyes were fierce and hard, staring into the rain as though he had some personal vendetta against it. "Who cares about a little bit of rain? Let's go!"

Kakashi couldn't help noticing that although Naruto had not been elected leader of the group, everyone automatically moved off, responding to the determination and inherent authority in his voice. He didn't bother pointing out that he had been placed in charge, choosing instead to step out as well without complaint.

He had enough to think about.

It was disconcerting to think that this mission, if successful, would involve freeing Sakura...from Sasuke's clutches. Kakashi had done his best not to dwell on the guilt that festered in his gut when he thought of the boy he had taught – the boy he had entrusted the Chidori to – betraying Konoha, willing going to Orochimaru and learning those dark, twisted techniques.

But now he couldn't stop thinking about it. Because Sasuke had – to all appearances – kidnapped Sakura. From what Naruto and Sakura had told him, he had been perfectly willing to cut Naruto down the last time they'd met...so if Sakura was still alive, Sasuke had to have some reason for keeping her alive.

And Kakashi didn't want to think too hard about what those reasons might be. He wanted to think that Sasuke couldn't be abusing Sakura...but common sense told him otherwise. Who knew how the Uchiha had changed over two years spent in Orochimaru's custody? Who knew what he was like now?

But even while he fretted over the state of the pink-haired medic, some part of Kakashi couldn't help mourning the twelve year old he had known. Because if he really had raped Sakura...then Kakashi knew that meant the boy that Sasuke had been – cold and disdainful, yet beneath it all, protective of the people he cared for – was long-dead.

-xxx-

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live." -Norman Cousins

-xxx-

AN: Thanks to justcallmefaye for beta-ing this.