Wiz: Tower defense, a strategy game genre in itself. Boomstick: And in the genre of watching little towers do all the fighting for you while you watch it like a bitch, these two are king. Wiz: Balloon Tower Defense, the monkey force against the balloons. Boomstick: And SAS Zombie Assault, the force to prevent zombie rule. Wiz: My name is Wiz and that's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and abilities to see who would win a Death Battle.
Wiz: Very little information exists to document how the war between monkeys and sentient balloons began, but the battle has gone on for many years, neither side ever totally outclassing the other.
Boomstick: And considering the weapons of the main force, that's some pretty hard combat. The most standard tower of BTD is the dart monkey. Equipped to throw single darts, it can be upgraded to throw more darts faster, and farther, up to the point that it can throw three at once, or fire massive spike balls from a catapult.
Wiz: The tack tower fired tacks in all directions, with the final abilities of throwing fire or ceramic metal blades. The boomerang monkey upgrades to throw glaves until it either has two constant orbiting it, or a bionic arm for throwing them faster than any other standard monkey.
Boomstick: The ninja monkey fired shurikens, and can throw smoke bombs to pop and distract balloons, and the monkey apprentice uses magic to throw energy bolts, fire balls, and bolts of chain lightning, able to upgrade to let out a constant jet of fire or a tornado.
Wiz: There are also support towers like the ice tower which freezes enemies, the glue gunner that slows them down and can eat through them with acid, the monkey farm that produces money to make more towers, the monkey village which empowers other towers, and the spike tower that lets out road blocks of spikes and red hot spike balls.
Boomstick: The bomb tower fired exploding cannon balls and missiles, the sub fires darts and torpedos across the entire map, the monkey ace flies a plane that lets out darts in every direction, drops exploding pineapples, and can upgrade to a stealth fighter that drops a damn nuke, and the buccaneer fires darts, sharpened pees, and can upgrade to have a hook for pulling larger targets in or into a aircraft carrier to let out mini-monkey aces.
Wiz: The engineer sets up sentry turrets and fires nail guns, the sniper shoots down powerful dart rounds from afar, the heli follows targets with pursuit, the mortar bombs a set location, the gatling follows the targets with a never ending barrage, and the generals can take a more direct approach by places down spikes and pineapple grenades anywhere.
Boomstick: There are also the secret agents, special towers that provide special benefits. The pool allows water based towers to be on land, the muskrat lets towers see hidden enemies, the beekeeper fired bees, the bloonberry bush slowly grows into a spiky wall trap, the squirrel throws sharpened acorns, the tribal turtle throws sharpened coconuts and spears, and the Apex summons an orbital laser beam that cuts through basically everything. But when nothing else can cut it, the monkeys can always rely on their heaviest hitter: the super monkey.
Wiz: The super monkey starts off by simply throwing a steady stream of darts faster than any other tower. As it upgrades, its range outclasses every other tower, and its darts become laser, then plasma beams.
Boomstick: But it doesn't stop there. The super monkey can take the bionic route and become a cybernetic killing machine, or a mother fucking sun god that fires three solar powered laser bolts at once.
Wiz: The final attacks of these are a cybernetic rampage that immediately destroys everything in a certain radius, and the sun god temple, which absorbs several other towers to form a massive temple a solid ray of death from its eyes and special attacks based on the towers it absorbed.
Boomstick: They may just be monkeys, but they're the strongest group of monkeys you've ever seen.
Wiz: The zombie apocalypse had begun. At first, it seemed everything would be okay, as the basic shambling zombie could be easily mowed down. As time went on though, new, stronger zombies appeared. Butchers that could take tank fire without stopping, wraiths that passed through walls, and massive flaming titan zombies. There was only one thing to do.
Boomstick: form a special operation unit to slaughter the new zombies on mass. Their most basic unit is the machine gun SAS, a human soldier with a machine gun on the ground to mow down enemies. He upgrades his weapon and gains use of exploding rounds, painkillers, and adrenaline shots to recover from damage and destroy zombies.
Wiz: The only other human soldier on the ground is the SAS sniper, who takes point in hidden locations and puts zombies down with a gradually upgraded sniper rifle. A fully upgraded sniper can kill a butcher and all its stragglers by himself.
Boomstick: The remaining towers all come in the form of the turrets, automated damage dealers that lay waste to zombies. The first is the Vickers turret, which starts out as a single machine gun, but gradually upgrades into an armored, self-repairing, machine with four separate individually firing barrels that can let out one millions rounds per minute.
Wiz: The MGL turret focuses less of speed and more on power, firing strong burst grenades and explode waves of zombies. In its final state, the Hand of Ra, it's a continuously firing anti-tank machine that could wipe out ten full waves by itself.
Boomstick: And finally there's the special turret. It begins with chain lightning, then switches to firing freezing rounds, then acid shots, then a steady stream of flaming plasma, and finally a large burning missile that can disappear an entire legion.
Wiz: For defense the SAS Assault group has simple sandbags and barbed wire that can be upgraded into spiked cement barriers and electrified thorn wired.
Boomstick: And when the general once to get in directly they use standard frag grenades, burning grenades, freezing grenades, necro grenades, and landmines. They can also call a typhoon jet bombing run, healing kits to instantly repair damage to towers, a longbow chopper with machine guns and missiles, and the Necro Nuke.
Wiz: the dead may not stay dead, but the SAS Assault unit never stays down for long either.
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, now it's time to end this debate. Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
The two armies took position across from each other, the BTD army with two of every one of their normal towers, the SAS Assault unit with five of all their normal units and a defense line of sandbags and barbed wire.
Fight!
The two groups opened fire immediately. Darts and tacts either fell short for lack of range, or were stopped by the sandbags and barbed wire, while the bullets of the SAS Assault hit their targets, the ground units firing on the ground monkeys, the snipers firing on the aerial units, which were the only ones able to get passed the defenses.
The SAS were outnumbered, but the BTD seemed sorely outmatched. That was, until they began upgrading. Pineapples blasted the machine gunner away and glue from the glue gunner slowed them down. The dart monkeys, now throwing three darts at once and launching spike balls, reached passed the defenses.
Magic bolts from the monkey apprentice cut through the wire and sandbags, the fire ball blasting the sand bags as chain lightning stuck the turrets, being negated by the special turret's chain lightning.
The monkey ace began to drop pineapple bombs and fire stronger darts beyond the defensive line, the sniper took out the MGLs with the help of the bomb tower and mortar while the ice towers, engineers, and spike tower set up a defensive line of their own.
The defense was destroyed near instantly by a line of landminds as the SAS began using repair kits to restore their units, upgrading them as well. The snipers, still not having been attacked once, now took out both monkey snipers, both heli units, and both mortars. The Vickers turren began firing a barrage of bullets over the new defensive line of spiked, electrical wire and spiked cement walls.
The bomb towers were destroyed by the upgraded MGLs and the upgraded machine gunners took out the standard monkeys, ninja monkeys, and boomerang monkeys. Special grenades destroyed the glue gunners, gatling monkey, and monkey villages.
The BTD army turned to their secret agents. The beekeeper, angry squirrel, and tribal turtle went on the offensive while the muskrats pointed out the snipers for the tack towers to destroy with fire and blade storms. The pools allowed buccaneers and subs to join the fray, doing extra damage.
The SAS unit called in a bombing run. The typhoon jet flew by four times, dropping a bombardment of explosives that destroyed the majority of the BTD army. But the Apex agent was still up, and its laser began destroying the defenses and SAS units, giving the BTD army time to built up money from the farms to summon to super monkeys, who began doing damage and upgrading.
Soon they'd ascended to cyber monkey and sun god, and were only held off by the maxed out turrets firing burning missiles, letting out million bullet barrages, and firing continuous explosions. The longbow chopper was called it, its bullets and missiles destroying the cyber monkey before the buccaneer's hook pulled it to the ground, destroying it.
There were still more SAS units than monkeys, so the sun god ascended to its final form; the sun god temple. It absorbed the subs, one of the planes, and the tack towers; leaving only the farms and the stealth fighter.
The sun god tower looked over the turrets, letting out a devastating ray of solar energy that fired with the Apex laser to destroy them all. The snipers were the only to survive the initial onslaught, and in their final upgraded form, were able to destroy the sun god temple in five shots from all five of them, the Apex going down even easier.
Both sides realized there was only one solution left. The monkey ace let out it's final attack; the ground zero monkey nuke, at the same moment the SAS unit fired it Necro nuko. The two explosions collided and merged, destroying every unit on the field.
The ground was a smoldering wreck of ash and flaming rumble. All was ruined and devastated by the two WMD being set off at the same moment. But, as the time went on, the SAS units began to seal; the turret self repair ability allowing them to be the only remaining things alive on the field.
K.O!
Boomstick: If that's what world war three is gonna be like, then I say bring it the fuck on!
Wiz: The monkeys had the advantage in the number and diversity of their towers, but the SAS unit just had the advantage in every other category.
Boomstick: They could do more damage faster, their peak performance slaughtering entire legions with single towers. The monkeys can do that to at their peak; but still require larger numbers to actually achieve this goal.
Wiz: And then there's the SAS unit's ability to heal and repair its towers mid-battle. Even without repair kits, a turret's natural self-repair means that the only way to win would be to have a unit that healed itself faster. Boomstick: And as destructive as the monkeys get, they don't have any self heal abilities, or really any healing abilities at all. They rely on the enemy not firing back, while the SAS unit plans for and expects it. Looks like these zombie killers really weren't monkeying around. Wiz: The winner of this Death Battle, is the SAS Assault unit.
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle… the demon of dreams vs the god of hyperdeath… Gravity Falls vs Undertale… Bill Cipher vs Asriel Dreemur.