As I sat, I noticed something glinting in my peripheral vision. I looked down and noticed that the sun was glinting off the fish scale charm given to me by Bea- Deadheart. In a sudden bout of fury, I ripped the necklace off my neck with brute force, bringing my claws down on the hard grass cord. It snapped, falling to the ground, and I felt a throbbing pain in my neck from where it had cut it. I sank my claws into the earth, creating a hole and flinging the charm inside it, then burying it again, all in record time with anger searing through my veins.
I glared at the freshly turned earth for a long while, then closed my eyes, and my anger evaporated, replaced again with deep, deep sadness. My new neck wound was dripping blood onto my paws and I felt the whole right side of my face caked with it from the wounds the bear had given me, but I didn't care.
The next thing I knew, I was blinking open my eyes and a silver face was swimming in front of me. I started to get up, wondering what Silverrose wanted, and then it all came crashing down on me again. With a groan, I sunk back to the earth, closing my eyes and replaying the horrible memory in my head.
"Shiningmoon, the whole camp is worried. It took me ages to find you here; I was afraid you'd run off... to become like a loner or something." She shook her head. "I'm glad you stayed. I can see why you'd need some time alone..." I closed my mind while she talked away, giving myself over to the pain and misery, until I realized that she had stopped talking.
"Did you hear me?" she asked in a concerned voice. "You need to get back to camp. Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit need you, and those wounds look bad... Gingerspice should look at them." I heard a faint catch in her voice, and remembered how we had both wanted to be a medicine cat apprentice. That dream seemed so futile, so kitlike, and I couldn't believe that it had actually been the cause of one of my heartbreaks. For my heart was indeed broken again, worse than ever before. Because on top of Be- Deadheart's horrible betrayal, my three beloved kits were stolen, taken hostage by their own father to Darkclan, which I had only just discovered was evil.
"Shiningmoon!" Silverrose said, bringing me back to the present abruptly. I stared at her absently, then got up and padded mechanically in the direction of camp, feeling and seeing nothing.
When we arrived back in camp, Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit were waiting for me, eyes wide and filled with fear. I felt a faint urge to comfort them, buried by my sorrow and anger.
"Mom!" Blizzardkit gasped, racing up to me. I stared down at him, then licked the top of his head.
"Oh, Blizzardkit," I choked, the tears finally flowing. Kestrelkit followed his foster brother, and I covered both of them with licks, tears pouring down my face.
In the middle of our sentimental reunion, a noise was heard from the camp entrance.
I whipped around, teeth bared and eyes wild with flame. I was ready to claw sense into Deadheart's head, to let him know who he had been messing with and make him pay. But it was not a grey tom that padded into our camp. It was a small, black she-cat with leaf-green eyes. Hawkflight.
"It seems that I was right," she mused, padding in circles around me. "Deadheart has successfully ruined another cat. I warned you, did I not?" I stared up at her through watery eyes.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice filled with pain. Her face softened. I realized that this cat had been the good guy all along, trying to help us. Midnightclan was good, after all. I had just been too stupid to realize it.
"I am, too. It seems that I should explain Darkclan further to you, as it seems highly unlikely that Deadheart will do it for me." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway. Darkclan is an incredibly evil clan filled with cats that are somewhere between alive and dead, and not part of Starclan at all. They all have black hearts and rarely show mercy. Something is done to them to make them this way, but that is their secret. Of course, some cats come to them of their own free will, as evil as they are. Darkstar is the vile and cruel leader of this clan, and also the founder. She normally takes the shape of a tiger with red eyes." I gulped. Darkstar had been in our clan? Was that the cat that Deadheart truly loved? I felt a searing pain in my chest.
"She and Deadheart are mates, as you have probably realized." She chuckled a little, but cast a sympathetic glance at me. "Darkstar has a long and complicated past, which I can't recount perfectly so I won't. Darkclan came to Midnightclan and we had a great war, which is a great tale if you ever have a day to listen to it, and this war resulted in the near ending of our clan." Her voice grew hushed and sad. "Only a few Midnightclan cats were left, I among them. I was a medicine cat apprentice, Hawkpaw. Of course, I still am, but I have my full name now, Hawkflight." She smiled ruefully. "Deadheart still takes to calling me by my old name, though," she muttered, explaining the bitterness. "Anyway. So Midnightclan was in ruins. Aaannnyway, we took as much of Darkclan with us as we could. So Darkclan was as devastated as we were." She grinned in satisfaction.
"There were only a few members left. Darkstar, Deadheart, Winterfrost, and Oakstar. I think that's still all of their members, but if they've captured your kits, there are sure to be more soon." My eyes widened and I shuddered convulsively.
"No!" I cried. "I won't let them!" Hawkflight eyed me.
"I could help you get them back, you know," she said thoughtfully.
"Please?" I said desperately, willing to do anything she asked to get all three of my kits back safely.
"You did completely ignore my offer for help and drove us out," she pointed out. "Twice." She glared around at the gathered Leafclan cats, who winced, some in genuine apology and some just in response to her glare. I sighed, eyes frantic at this point.
"I'm sorry, okay! We're all sorry!" I shot my clanmates a quick glare, forcing them to agree. They all nodded quickly. "Beati- I mean, Deadheart was just good at his job, okay? Give me a break. I'm a fool. Yeah. But I still want my kits back." She smiled slightly, examining her claws for a long while.
"Okay," she said slowly after a time. "I guess I'll help you."