Chapter Twelve: The Ultimate Truth or Dare (Sort of)
"Because I'm so nice, I'm going to let you guys go first," simpered Maria, pointing at Matt.
"Oh, alright," Matt said, "Um, truth or dare?"
"Dare, hit me with your best shot."
"Okay, I dare you to pour two hundred million pounds of lava on your head," answered Matt.
Maria smirked at Matt as if she knew something that Matt didn't and snapped her fingers. A large bucket the size of what seemed to be a continent appeared out of nowhere over the Truth or Dare group's heads. Before their very eyes, the bucket tipped a bit, dropping a small waterfall of molten earth unto Maria's head.
"Wow, she's crazy," Matt observed.
"Too bad she has the abilities to back it up," added Nicole as Maria began to burn from the lava on her body but didn't scream out in pain.
"So what are we going to do?" Matt said, looking at Malcolm.
"Test her limits first," Annabeth answered before Malcolm opened his mouth, "Then, force her to do something that's beyond them."
"That was what I was about to say," complained Malcolm when Annabeth finished.
"You just think too slowly compared to me," Annabeth said coolly with a smirk.
"Shut up." Malcolm crossed his arms.
"You guys, she's finished," Nicole interrupted.
Malcolm looked back at Maria and saw that the bucket of lava was gone. Maria was standing on what seemed to be cooled lava, her body smoking but looking unscathed from the lava bath.
"Your turn." Maria pointed at Malcolm.
"Truth or Dare?" he asked.
"Dare."
"Okay, I dare you to go to the sun and stay there for thirty minutes."
"Too easy," Maria sneered as she disappeared in a flash of light.
"No way she can survive the sun," Matt said after Maria left, "Unless she's Supergirl."
"Well, our sun isn't the hottest thing in the universe," replied Annabeth, "There are hotter stars."
"So if she does survive my dare, just dare her to stay at a blue star," Malcolm said to Nicole.
"...Unless she's Supergirl."
"Matt, shut up, she isn't from Krypton," Nicole grumbled.
"Well, you can't be sure with Mary Sues," countered Matt, shrugging as he did so, "Remember that Mary Sue that was not only a daughter of Hades but also part pureblood, part airbender, part Sith Lord, and part Vulcan?"
"Wow, that sounds seriously screwed up," Malcolm remarked, "Part pureblood?"
"Yeah, it took five hundred Sue Slayers to take her down and even then, the best they did was trap her in another dimension," Matt recounted, "Or so I'm told."
"So these phenomenon, Mary Sues, have limits then?" inquired Annabeth,
"Yeah, but those limits can reach nigh infinite," said Nicole with a grimace, "They might be almost impossible to beat unless you happen to have similar abilities."
"At which point, you're most likely a Mary Sue yourself," added Matt.
"Last I checked, we're not Mary Sues," said Malcolm, "So how are we going to beat Maria?"
"Nonsense, even gods have limits," Annabeth huffed, "Besides, Maria hasn't shown to be one of those super-Sues yet."
"Yet," emphasized Nicole.
Another flash of light burst in front of them and when Malcolm could see again, Maria once again standing in front of him.
"Your turn." Maria pointed at Nicole.
Nicole and Annabeth's dares were hopeless. Both girls dared Maria to dip herself into a blue star and (for some reason) a purple star, but the Sue just returned from the two dares with only slightly-burnt clothing.
"I told you she was freaking Kryptonian," Matt muttered to everyone else after Maria finished Annabeth's dare.
"Hah, now it's my turn for revenge!" Maria yelled in triumph. From the corner of his eye, Malcolm noticed that Nicole was rubbing her good luck charm. Maria must have seen that too, for she pointed at Nicole.
"Truth or Dare, Nicole?" she asked loudly, causing Nicole to jump.
"Truth," Nicole coldly said.
"WHAT!" Maria screamed, "YOU CAN'T JUST CHOOSE TRUTH!"
"This damn game is called 'Truth or Dare', get over yourself," shot back Nicole.
"Fine, rule change," Maria declared, "This game is now called Dare!"
"Rule change? What are you, five years old?" asked Malcolm, sarcasm in his voice.
"Since I'm so nice, I'm going to pass for this turn and let you four go again," Maria grumbled, glaring at Malcolm.
Three more dares came, but none of them worked as usual.
"I dare you to stuff yourself in a black hole," Matt said.
Maria just came back, looking a little darker than usual.
"I dare you to get hit by Zeus' Master Bolt," Malcolm said.
Maria got hit and her clothes just look slightly singed.
"I dare you to eat five hundred thousand pounds of hot dogs," Nicole said.
Maria finished in five minutes and only looked a little bit wider.
It was Annabeth's turn, but Malcolm saw that his half-sister had a triumphant look on her face. Annabeth gave Maria a smile of her own before saying, "I dare you to lift a book with infinite pages."
"Good one," Matt said, looking at Annabeth with respect. Malcolm got annoyed. Why did she had to have the good ideas?
Looking a bit pissed, Maria waved her hand and a rather large book with an infinity symbol on the front cover hit the floor hard. As he watched, the book instantly broke the floor underneath it and began falling through the clouds down to a New York street below. In a flash, the Sue flew down to retrieve the book. Everyone else piled near the edge of the white Greek floor they were on to watch Maria.
"No way is she going to lift that," Annabeth said a bit too confidently.
"Yeah, but even if she doesn't, that book is going to wreck Earth because it has infinite pages and therefore infinite mass," pointed out Malcolm.
"If Malcolm's right, it looks like your plan is going to fail no matter what," Nicole said without humor, "Nice going."
Annabeth glared at Nicole. "Well, I don't see you making the plans."
"Guys, you need to check this out," Matt interrupted as he pointed his hand down to the streets.
Annabeth, Malcolm, and Nicole veered their heads down in time to catch a glimpse of Maria flying up towards them, the heavy book tucked under her arm.
"What, that's impossible!" Annabeth cried out, her hands on the sides of her head, "Nobody can lift infinite mass."
"Until now," Malcolm heard Nicole mutter under her breathe.
Maria landed in front of them, huffing and puffing. Finally, she raised her head and proudly showed them the book in her hand.
"I lifted it," she said, sneering at Annabeth in particular. Smiling even wider at Annabeth's shocked face, she tossed the book away, which then disappeared into dust.
"It's my turn now." Maria grinned as she pointed at Nicole. "You! I dare you to soak yourself in lava!"
Malcolm saw Nicole's face pale at Maria's dare. Slowly, Nicole raised her hands as if in surrender and looked apologetically at Malcolm and the others.
"Sorry, I can't do this, you guys," Nicole said, her head bent down in shame, "I'll die either way. I hope you guys can win without me."
"Hehehehe," laughed Maria, "I can feel your humiliation. For that, I'll give you a different punishment for not taking my dare."
Maria snapped her fingers and a puff of smoke enveloped Nicole. When it cleared, Malcolm saw a perfectly white rabbit sitting where Nicole was standing before.
"Hah, now you're a rabbit!" giggled Maria, "Because you know, you have four feet of good luck!"
The rabbit seemed to give Maria a frown before running over and hopping into Matt's lap.
"This is sort of bunny," Matt joked while he patted Nicole's furry back. Nicole kicked him in the face in response and left a bruise on Matt's cheek, causing Matt to say after a sigh, "Sometimes, I wish you had a sense of humor."
"Don't forget," interrupted Maria, glowering at the remaining players and Nicole the rabbit, "You now only have three people still in the game."
"Damn it," murmured Malcolm under his breathe, "We need to think of something fast before she picks us off."
"Your turn," Maria said, pointing at Matt.
"I dare you to turn Nicole back into her normal state," Matt said in a tired voice.
"Fine," growled Maria, "But she's still out of the game."
Maria snapped her fingers and the rabbit on Matt's lap disappeared into smoke. The Mary Sue snapped her fingers again and this time, Nicole reappeared in her human form but was trapped in a floating bubble next to Jessica's bubble above the Truth or Dare group.
Malcolm had almost forgot about Jessica, but he figured that was because she hadn't said anything ever since Maria put her in a bubble.
"Your turn Annie-beth," Maria simpered to Annabeth.
"I dare you to shut up," Annabeth growled.
Maria looked at her in silence for around five minutes before speaking once more.
"You see how pointless this game is, huh?" she told Annabeth, "How pointless it is that you can't even beat me, a hater of this children's party game."
"That's not impressive, considering that you have practically no limits," Annabeth pointed out.
"Oh, don't whine and get angry at me," Maria cooed annoyingly, "If there's someone you should be angry at, it's Jessica D. Nird, for creating this horrid story."
A brain wave suddenly hit Malcolm when he heard Maria's words, but he wasn't sure how it was supposed to help him. He was still pondering over his new idea when Maria's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Hey smartass," said Maria, "It's your turn."
Malcolm turned his head up to look at Maria but remained silent, causing Annabeth and Matt to stare at him as well.
"Well, what's your dare?" Maria asked in an impatient tone, "I don't have all day."
"Before I say it, I'll like to say that you're on the verge of defeat," replied Malcolm coldly, "Even if you can absorb the blow of Zeus' Master Bolt and a black hole or even carry infinite mass, you will be defeated by my mere dare."
"Then, go ahead, say it!" Maria spat at the last words, "Let me defeat your last stupid hope."
"Okay," said Malcolm, holding his cool, "I dare you to personally tell Jessica D. Nird that her truth or dare story is great."
"Oh, that's eas-wait WHAT!"
"That's right, go tell her how great her story is."
Maria snapped her fingers and Jessica's bubble disappeared, dropping her to the floor. As she moaned, Maria approached her.
"What do you want?" Jessica said.
"It's for a damn dare," grumbled Maria.
"What's the dare?"
Maria ignored her and began to mutter something incomprehensible to which Malcolm shouted, "Louder!" The Sue turned her head to scowl at him before returning to look at Jessica.
"I think your story is ggggrrrrgrrrrr-"
"You think my story is what?" Jessica asked innocently.
'It's...it's...it-"
"It's what?"
Maria cursed loudly, making Jessica jump.
"Oh, by the way, you have two minutes left to complete the dare," said Malcolm.
"Shut up!" Maria shouted without looking at him.
"What's the dare?" asked Jessica again.
"None of your business."
Jessica crossed her arms but didn't say anything else.
"Your story is g-" tried Maria, "I mean, it is per-"
"One minute left," Malcolm muttered to Annabeth and Matt.
"It's really, really goof," Maria finally spit out to Jessica.
"Goof?"
"Arrrgh."
"Thirty seconds," Malcolm said rather loudly.
"Jessica, your story are some of the bes.."
"Why are my stories with Bes?"
"Time's out!" Malcolm cheered, "You lose, Maria!"
"NOOOOO!" Maria screamed dramatically at the sky. Before Malcolm's eyes, the Sue began to disappear in bits like a sand figure into the wind. Finally, there was nothing left. Nicole dropped to the ground from her bubble when the Sue was gone.
"Nice," said Matt, who then proceeded to give Malcolm a thumbs-up.
Nicole murmured agreements, but Annabeth didn't look impressed at all.
"Oh, come on," said Malcolm to her, "Even you had to admit that was a good one."
Annabeth closed her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. "You're my half-brother; that was to be expected of you."
"Gee, thanks."
"Um, you guys?" Jessica's voice interrupted, causing Malcolm and everyone else to look at her.
"Yeah?" they all said simultaneously.
"Well," Jessica looked at her feet, "I'm sorry for being the root for all your problems. You know, for the OOC characters, the stupid plot, and the Mary Sues."
"That's alright," Malcolm replied, looking away, "Just as long as you learned something."
"What was the lesson then?" asked Matt, scratching his head.
"Obviously, it's to never create Truth or Dare fanfics," answered Nicole sarcastically, "Otherwise, you can get attacked and kidnapped by Mary Sues."
"Good one," said Malcolm with a grin. Nicole just shrugged at his compliment.
"Yeah," agreed Jessica, "Well, I better delete this story right now."
"Wait, let us say our good-byes first," said Matt, "Parting is such a sweet sorrow, isn't it?"
"I don't like the taste of sap," muttered Nicole.
"Well, I guess you won't see Nicole or me for a while," continued Matt, looking between Malcolm and Annabeth, "Unless you have a Sue wandering around again."
"Thanks for the help though," responded Malcolm, "I don't think we could have taken on the Sues without you guys."
Annabeth just gave a curt nod to Matt and Nicole. "Yeah, thanks for helping out my half-brother."
Matt veered his head to Nicole "You like to say something, Nicole?"
"I had worse," Nicole said, crossing her arms, "I can't wait to get back to Elysium though."
"What about you?" Matt looked at Jessica.
"Um, I guess I'm going to try to create better stories and not destroy alternative universes," answered Jessica with a shrug.
"Are we done yet?" Nicole said in a bored voice.
When everyone else, including Malcolm, nodded, Jessica snapped her fingers. A feeling of nausea came over Malcolm and soon, all he saw was black.
"Malcolm."
The son of Athena opened his eyes and saw his half-sister standing over him.
"Is everything back to normal?" he first asked.
Annabeth smiled. "Not exactly. Everyone still remembers what happened here, but other than that, yeah, no Mary Sues, no OOC characters, and no stupid Silena asking us to play Truth or Dare."
"Huh, that's a first. Usually, it's just you and me who remember those stupid Truth or Dare stories after the fanfic writers delete them or stop updating."
"Yeah...why are you still lying on the dirt?"
Malcolm obliged by standing up and noticed that he and Annabeth were in the cabins area. He looked towards the Aphrodite cabin.
"Where's Drew?"
Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "I think I saw her at the docks, why?"
Malcolm tried to think of an excuse, but luckily, he spotted Percy coming towards them.
"There's Percy," he said, pointing over Annabeth's shoulder.
Annabeth turned around and was looking at Percy, face-to-face.
"Hey," she said.
"Um yeah, hi," Percy replied awkwardly.
All was silent for a while before Malcolm heard Annabeth's voice.
"You have something to say, Seaweed Brain?"
"Yeah," said Percy, "Just wanted to say that I'm sorry for not treating you with respect during that Truth or Dare game. I didn't know what I was thinking."
"It's alright, Percy," Annabeth said, "You were OOC during that time; it wasn't your fault."
Percy looked at his shoes. "Well, I didn't know I could be such a jerk."
"Percy, I'm not going to break up with you for something that wasn't your fault..."
Malcolm didn't bother to stick around; he had someone important to look for.
The docks looked like a nice place to hang out at the moment. The sun was setting in the horizon, casting orange and yellow light across the waves which rolled lazily throughout the surface of the water. Only a shadowy figure blocked a portion of the grand sight; a black-haired girl was sitting at the edge and looking at the sunset, her head turned.
Malcolm immediately knew who the girl was.
He walked unto the wooden planks of the dock, doing his best not to run. Hearing his footsteps, the girl gave a glance at him before turning back to the waters. It might have been the sunlight, but Malcolm had thought he had seen what seemed to be a flash of disgust on Drew's face. Malcolm ignored this though and decide to start up a conversation.
"Hey, Drew."
Drew didn't reply or react to the sound of his voice.
"Um, Drew?"
"Ugghh, what do you want, you nerd?"
Malcolm was a bit taken aback at this.
"Drew, it's me, Malcolm. Don't you remember me?"
"If I remembered correctly, you're one of those losers from the Athena cabin who played a game of Truth or Dare with me." she sneered.
Why was she acting this way, Malcolm thought. Then, a nasty idea hit him.
"I'm sorry for being the root for all your problems. You know, for the OOC characters, the stupid plot, and the Mary Sues," Jessica's voice echoed in his head.
But it can't be, how could Drew have been OOC? Malcolm try to find arguments against this line of thought but he couldn't deny the possibility. Could it be that Drew wasn't a nice girl in reality, but rather a bitch?
"Please tell me you're not trying to ask me out," Drew's voice rang out, waking Malcolm up from his musings, "I know tons of boys who are hotter than you are."
"No, I'm not," Malcolm replied angrily, clenching his hands into fists, "I came here because I thought I was going to see a good friend of mine again. Turns out I was wrong."
He turned on his foot and walked away from Drew.
"Malcolm," he heard Drew call out to him.
Malcolm ignored her.
"MALCOLM, STOP WHERE YOU ARE!"
Malcolm felt his legs stop moving, almost throwing him off balance for one moment. He wondered why he stopped before realizing what Drew did. Scowling at Drew for her charmspeak, he veered his head back to glare at her while she walked up to him.
"What do you want?" he asked sourly.
"Look, you might know me as a sweet, caring girl from that idiotic Truth or Dare game, but that isn't me," she said, narrowing her eyes and jabbing her finger at his shoulder, "I'm not a pushover and I'll never be."
"Doesn't mean you have to be a bitch all the time," pointed out Malcolm.
"Maybe I am," said Drew, "But charmspeak works wonders."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Oh, you seemed sort of interesting," answered Drew with a smirk, "You're an arrogant geek who thinks he knows everything."
"Gee, like you're any better," retorted Malcolm with sarcasm.
"You're making my point, nerd."
"So are you, douchebag."
"Have you ever watched Les Misérables?"
"You-wait, what?"
Drew walked forward to stand to his right. "You heard me."
"Yeah, I did," he answered slowly, "One of the best musical plays ever made."
"You might not be hopeless after all," Drew sneered again but the tone in her voice seemed more playful this time, "Walk with me?"
The two of them of walked off the docks. It might have been the sun, but for a moment, Malcolm saw Drew give him a gentle smile. Malcolm mentally slapped himself. There might be some part of the OOC Drew still in the actual Drew, but Malcolm knew he wasn't dealing with the OOC Drew anymore.
"Drew, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Malcolm said, giving her an ironic smile.
A month later...
"Is the Apollo cabin ready, Will?"
"Yeah, but we're still missing Percy and Annabeth, Malcolm."
"Where are they?"
"They're over there, boy genius," Drew said, indicating Percy and Annabeth with her finger.
She, Malcolm, and Will watched the two campers run to join the group of demigods that had congregated in front of the Big House under Malcolm's orders.
"What were you two doing?" Will asked.
"We were fighting a giant sea monster," Percy said, denoting Annabeth's wet shirt.
"Riiight," Malcolm said, "Anyways, we have everybody now. Will, is your cabin's blessing still holding?"
"Yes."
"Good, now everyone, phalanx formation NOW!"
All the campers began to assembled themselves in straight lines and columns until the entire group formed a quadrilateral shape. Malcolm stood in the front row and turned his head to see if everyone else was in order. He caught Annabeth and Percy holding hands down on his right and rolled his eyes.
"You really should stop checking them out," snarked a voice on his left.
"Just hand me the spear, Drew," he replied without looking.
He felt a weight in his left hand and passed it to his right to hold it up. After checking to make sure everyone else around him was armed, he looked forward, waiting for the arrival.
It wasn't long before two humanoid figures appeared on top of Half-Blood Hill. They walked down the hill to meet the heavily armed campers near the Big House. Why they were still smiling, Malcolm didn't know.
One of them was a blond girl dressed in a blank, orange T-shirt and jeans. The other was Silena's ghost.
"Hey, do you guys want to play a game of Truth or Dare for my story?" she asked with Silena nodding rapidly next to her.
"NO!" the campers roared.
"Why not?" the blond asked.
All the campers in the first two rows of the phalanx lowered their spears in response. The new writer and Silena's ghost got the idea and began to run back up the hill with the campers on their heels. As they chased the two of them out of Camp Half-Blood, the campers burst out into a song with perfect vocals.
"Do you hear the half-bloods sing?
Or do you have no will to care?
We are the legion of some half-bloods
Who will not play Truth or Dare!
When the writing on your part
Echoes the writing of the bad.
There is a mob about to start!
When tomorrow comes!
Will you aid in our good cause?
Or will you run and go away?
Just read our favorite clause:
May you not write a plot so grey?
Then join with the crowd
That will make you so proud to just say!
Do you hear the half-bloods sing?
Or do you have no will to care?
We are the legion of some half-bloods
Who will not play Truth or Dare!
When the writing on your part
Echoes the writing of the bad.
There is a mob about to start!
When tomorrow comes!
Will you write your best for us
So that this story may advance?
Most will quit and some will stay
Don't make me go back and get my lance
The ink of the badfics
Will wither the meadows of France!
Do you hear the half-bloods sing?
Or do you have no will to care?
We are the legion of some half-bloods
Who will not play Truth or Dare!
When the writing on your part
Echoes the writing of the bad.
There is a mob about to start!
When tomorrow comes!"
A/N: "Do You Hear the Half-Bloods Sing" is a parody of one of the songs of the musical of Les Misérables called "Do You Hear the People Sing?" It's a fantastic piece, and you should listen to it!
Eh, hope to see you again in my newer stories. I think I'm finished with parodying every cliche plot the PJO fandom has to throw at me...or not.