A/N: Thanks for the reviews of the last chapter and all the support through follows, favorites and alerts! Sorry for any errors.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of the characters.
Capitol's Doll
Written by: kmac13
Original Post: 3/01/2012
Edited Post: 7/2/2012
Chapter 12
He holds her while she shakes. Her mind has flown the coop and now he holds what is left of the girl on fire, the Mockingjay. He knows Katniss Everdeen hasn't been there for years, but at times there were remnants of her in the other two identities that were forced upon her. They were true to her basic character, but still not Katniss Everdeen. They are not the girl who loved her father and sister above all or the girl who loved to swim and hunt and go to the Hob with her father. No he knew this is not the same girl. This girl warped into something new after her father died. She became something stronger, fiercer and angry. She had become a survivor at only eleven. As far as he was concerned she had already won the Hunger Games before her sister was reaped. Her life was a preparation for the Hunger Games. She was never allowed the proper time to grieve the loss of her father. She had to become the parent to her seven year old sister and mother. She had to become the soul provider. No this shaking, broken girl in his arms was something different completely.
Katniss did not cry when she slipped away. She just shook as if her body could no longer take the mental and physical stress she had endured for the past six years. Her eyes would die out, the flame that shines in them completely blown out. So Haymitch holds her to maybe, just maybe, keep her together. He doesn't speak; he knows the words would be lost on her. That is one thing the others don't get. They are not like he and she. Haymitch and Katniss aren't ones for words.
Johanna comes into the room hours later; they had still not moved or made a sound. She looks at them and breaks the silence. She is annoyed, but more she feels pity for the younger girl. She is annoyed by the pity she feels. She gives Haymitch an irritated look, "So it looks like you are our new roommate tonight? What set her off this time?" she spits.
Haymitch gives her a serious look, one that not many people have seen, but means back off if you don't want to die. "The announcement." He says low in a deadly calm voice.
Johanna roles her eyes, but she gets it. "Whatever I'm turning out the light. Goodnight. Make sure she doesn't start screaming." Johanna knows not to try to talk to Katniss. It is pointless and that is one thing she hates, wasted attention.
Haymitch and Katniss continue to sit in silence neither of them sleeping, but neither one awake. Gale, Finnick and Cinna talk more about their shared interest that night after Prim left them. Finnick is enjoying getting to hear tales of Katniss before the games. He hangs on Gales every word. Gale tells them of their hunting adventures and misadventure. He tells them about Katniss's phobia of blood and wounded people, how she got her nickname and about their time in the District Twelve, mainly the Hob.
"Can I ask why you never crossed the line with her…you know before she was sent to the games?" Finnick asks truly curious. He can tell by the way Gale talks about her, he has been in love with her for a while.
Gale's eyes mist over as if remembering a special dream, a hope. His face hardens then softens then hardens again as the dream comes and goes in his memory. "She wasn't aware of those types of things or feelings. She had one goal, keep Prim safe and happy. I didn't want to put anymore pressure on her, especially if I was reaped. It was my last year…I was waiting till I couldn't leave….her." he looks down at his fist, clenched together tightly trying to release the built up rage he feels that their forever was stolen from him.
"How about you Cinna…when did you fall for the girl on fire?" Finnick asks with a grin. He knows that like all tributes and stylist, Cinna met Katniss while she was nude.
"Well…If you must know…it was her open disdain for the Capitol that did me in." He smiles knowingly before adding, "Of course meeting her while she was in her birthday suit didn't hurt either." He shakes his head as he softly chuckles. She was thin like all District Twelve tributes in the past that he had seen on TV, but she had lean muscle and despite the skeletal frame she had lovely soft curves. Gale looks up appalled that Cinna had seen her naked on their first meeting. Cinna notices. "All tributes are presented to their stylist in the nude. It's the way it has always been." He shrugs as if it wasn't a big deal, which to him it wasn't, but he could see how someone else may beg to differ.
"That just leaves you Mr. Odair?" Cinna asks, with his brow raised.
"When she volunteered, not because of the supposed glory, but to protect the one she loves…and when District Twelve refused to clap…well I knew I had to meet her." He says. His eyes shine when he thinks about Katniss.
"More than any other tribute in District Twelve….Katniss made a difference. Nobody from the Seam or Hob celebrated. Even the peacekeepers were sad." Gale remembers. He shakes his head quickly. "We better get some sleep Odair…another long day of training." Gale gets up and nods at the two men. He really can't sit there any longer and talk about Katniss. He hates himself a little because he can't seem to bring himself to hate Odair or Cinna completely.
"Night." Cinna and Finnick call as they get up and part ways as well.
Finnick walks back down the hall to Katniss and Johanna's room to see if maybe she had come back. When he peaks his head in he sees them still sitting there, her shaking and him holding her, trying to keep her together. Haymitch looks up at him and they lock eyes. He motions with his head gently for Finnick to come in.
"How is she?" Finnick mouths, barely a sound escaping his mouth. Johanna sleeps deeply on the bed across from them, light snores coming from her.
"Been better." Haymitch responds sarcastically. Finnick nods and sits next to them and leans his head back against the wall. He sleeps there with them.
The next morning when they wake to go to training Katniss is still not mentally there, but she mindlessly goes through the motions. She dresses and silently follows Finnick and Johanna to training. Her eyes are still dead and Gale looks at the other two victors questioning if she was better. They both shake their heads no. Gale looks down disappointedly. He had hoped she would be back.
Katniss works herself harder than ever before. Even though her eyes are dead she runs faster and goes harder on all of the drills as if she is trying to find an escape. She doesn't look at anyone, but can feel the stares on her. Boggs is worried and makes a call to Haymitch in command.
"Is Katniss okay?" He asks.
"Why is she not doing anything? I thought she would at least go through the motions." Haymitch responds shortly.
"No, she is doing great in training…but her mind is on autopilot as if she has left the building." Boggs answers back…he hasn't ever seen anything quite like it before in all of years as a soldier and then a commander.
"She isn't there." Is the only response Haymitch gives. Boggs can tell by the way Haymitch answers that he isn't going to get anymore details. He knows Haymitch doesn't trust anyone with Katniss's information.
After everyone is done training for the day, Katniss sits in the training area. She falls to the ground and started shaking again. As if all of the energy she spent trying to escape hadn't helped at all and she is once again defeated. Boggs looks at Finnick then back down to Katniss. He looks at the small girl, not with pity but sympathy. Finnick scoops Katniss in his arms and carries her back to the room. She has stopped all free movements after training and Finnick showers her and dresses her and carries her down to weapons as they are scheduled.
He knows Coin has it out for Katniss and doesn't want Katniss to do anything that would be perceived as blatantly going against orders, like not following their strict time schedules. Plus he thinks maybe the weapon practice will help her come back, like the hunting had.
When they get down to weapons Gale and Beetee are waiting for them. They give Finnick an inquiring look as he carries the shaking girl in his arms. He offers them a polite smile and shrugs. He sits her down in a chair and she stays there, not moving.
"We have added some new features to her bow." Beetee starts, "She will still have the exploding arrows, but now she will have fire ones, regular ones, and poisonous ones that will kill a person upon contact. I want her to practice with the arrows and bow at the range as they all have a slightly different weight and it may affect her aim." Beetee finishes and looks questioningly over at Katniss.
Gale bends down to her eye level. His steely gray eyes become gentle as if he were about to talk to Posy, his sister. "Catnip...Do you want to practice with your bow?" He asks. She looks into his eyes and nods her head slowly. She gets up and takes the bow. Gale leads her to the practice range. The exploding and fire ones have been deadened for practice as well as the poisonous ones, no need to put anyone else in excessive danger.
Beetee looks at Finnick and starts to explain his trident. "It will be able to come back to you once you call for it." Beetee says with pride. "That way you will never have to get too close to any one else who may wish you harm." Then in a slightly quieter voice he asks, "Is she okay?"
Finnick looks at the older man. He is almost the same age as Mags, maybe ten years younger, but by far now the oldest living victor. "I don't know….I don't know if it is the memory of what he did to her or if it is all too much to ask a seventeen year old girl to shoulder."
He looks at her and sees she has started to come alive once more. She is standing in perfect shooting form. Shoulders high and rounded back, legs planted firmly apart. She looks exquisite to him in her natural hunting form. It reminds him of her games. When he had seen what she could accomplish once she had gotten the bow away from the Careers. He admired her during her games. Never once did she kill just to kill or for herself. It was always a selfless kill. She killed the boy who stuck a spear through the little girl form Eleven and she killed the last tribute as a mercy kill even though if the tables were turned and there were no mutts that boy from Two would have been sick and brutal towards her. She killed him so he wouldn't live a second longer in the irreversible pain and damage the mutts had caused. He had pleaded and she gave him his final wish. She was an angel of death, not the grim reaper.
He watched her as she came back with each release of the arrow, each perfect hit. Gale's expressions change as he sees her fire come back into her seemingly dead gray eyes from moments before. She had stopped shaking and is looking like a warrior. She is once again oblivious to the attention she is drawing. She is in rapture. She loves the feeling of the string as she pulls it tight, the feeling of release as the arrow shoots forward and the pure adrenaline she gets from the second the arrow pierces its target. She imagines she is back in her woods, her hunting partner by her side, always having her back. She moves seamlessly as the targets get harder. It is like watching a ballet.
Once she feels settled she stops and looks around, her eyes questioning how she got there. She tilts her head slightly and Gale understands the question. "After dinner…the announcement…you checked out…After training Finnick brought you down here so you would stay on schedule." He says. She nods her head in understanding and offers him a small smile. He returns it, because watching her come to life with her bow and arrow is like being in the woods with her back in District Twelve, it's the only place either of them smiled.
She walks out of the practice range room and with a smirk. She sees Finnick and Beetee have been watching her. "Like the show gentlemen?" She says seductively sarcastic like only she can.
Beetee grins at her. "Does it feel alright…natural?" He asks.
"Yes. I love it…if I had had this during my games they would have ended much sooner." She compliments. "What'd you make Finny?" She asks, glancing at Finnick, her eyes showing she is back, smiling at him.
"A trident." He holds it up proudly, like it is his new toy he got for Christmas.
"You got to see what I can do…let's see what you got?" She purrs, batting her lashes playfully. He chuckles and shakes his head, golden brown and auburn tresses moving freely with each shake.
He makes his way to the practice range and gives it his all. He is excited by the beauty of the instrument he holds in his hand. He loves that it comes to him after each hit. She watches her sea king as he takes down target after target in a perfect symphony. He is beautiful and deadly. His muscles tighten and contract with each movement. His breath is controlled and timed perfectly to each movement his body makes. It excites her all the more. Together they could win this war for their freedom.
He saunters out of the practice range to where she is waiting, watching. He has a satisfied smile on his face and sees her desire for him in that moment. He puts on his best seductive smile and leans into her, "I'll give you lessons, if you give me lessons." He purrs in her ear.
A shiver goes up her spine and she pulls back, returning the same look he taught her, but it is mixed with the sarcasm she and Haymitch share. "Are you talking on the range or in the bed?"
He throws his head back in a fit of laughter. "Little flower you already know all of my skills in the bed…Maybe we can try out our skills on the range like a good foreplay?" He winks at her.
She smiles at him deviously and licks her lips. "Sounds intriguing…when can we start?"
Finnick looks over at Beetee, "Can Katniss and I teach each other the others weapon?"
"Yeah, but not too long…you can come back Saturday when the place is pretty much empty except for Gale and I." Beetee agrees.
Finnick smiles turning to Katniss. He holds out his arm for her and she takes it. They make teaching each other a sensual yet serious act. They show each other how to stand, breathe and which muscles to contract and when, their hands going over and holding onto each other. They teach each other well and decide to call it a day. They will come back Saturday after training to practice some more. They are both in need of each other.
Gale left soon after they started to practice. He became jealous. He couldn't sit there and watch the two of them give each other instructions. He remembered when he and Katniss had first met and she had taught him how to use a bow. Every touch she gave him felt like fire burning his skin even if she was only twelve at the time. Something about her touch felt like fire. He could only imagine what it would feel like now if she were teaching him instead of Odair.
As Gale is storming off down the corridors of District Thirteen he runs into Haymitch. Haymitch grunts a greeting at him before asking, "Have you seen her?" He knows Gale will know which her he is talking about, it's the only her they really have in common.
"Yeah, she and Odair are giving each other private bow and trident lessons." He snaps angrily. He turns quickly facing the older broken down version of himself. "How do you stand watching them together? I saw you whenever she would come on TV with another "date" or Snow. I know you love her!"
Haymitch shakes his head and chuckles darkly at the young Seam boy who has so much to learn about the world. "I was angrier with those, because she did not choose them. She chooses him and if he makes her happy then my job," He holds out his arms and swoops them around, "all of this is worth it and done. She and I will always have something more." His voice is sincere, but dripping with his normal tone of vile sarcasm.
Gale looks at him and sighs heavily. Shaking his head he turns back into the direction he was walking in and goes back to his compartment to think about, for the umpteenth time, what could have been with the girl with the bow.
Finnick and Katniss, consumed in adrenaline and lust, don't make it to their own rooms. They find a supply closet just outside of weapons and quickly go in before anyone notices. Finnick locks the door from the inside and looks at Katniss like he is going to devour her. She returns the hungry look and attacks his lips with hers. They rip each others clothes off as Finnick lifts her by the hips and presses her against the wall. She wraps her legs around him and her arms hold tightly around his neck. Finnick hold onto her hips tightly as they move together. Both of them whispering their desires and moans.
Haymitch catches up with them as they are leaving the supply closet. He has a big cheesy grin on his face as he sees her eyes are lit up again and filled with fire. He knows what they were up to in that supply closet. "Hey Sweetheart, try and be nice to your cousin…he looked pretty red as he was storming down the hall. Well, maybe not as nice as you are to Fish boy…But still try and be nice." He says teasingly.
She looks at him and gives a cocked smile. "Hay, I'm nice to everyone." She whines sweetly. At that both Finnick and Haymitch start howling with laughter. She pretend pouts, but the grin tugging on her lips wins out and she too is laughing. She knows better than anyone she is not a nice person and she doesn't want to be nice to anyone the way she is to Finnick.
"Yea Sweetheart, you're nice to everyone and I'm fucking jolly ol' St. Nick!" Haymitch hoots.
"Finny here is the only nice one. You, me and Jo…hell even Gale are all a bunch of bitchy assholes." She smiles up at Finnick like she is proud of him.
"Good to see you came back. So in the future should I forgo holding you all night and getting a neck cramp and just send you to weapons?" He smirks at her, but his eyes sparkle enough to tell her he is happy to have her back.
"No I like the holding. Send me to weapons only after you have a pretty good pain in your neck." She mocks, but her eyes show thanks and appreciation. "So boys what's next on my schedule?" She asks holding out her arm.
"Dinner." Finnick says happily, licking his lips. "I'm starved."
"Me too." She says as her stomach growls loudly. She blushes in embarrassment, but the feeling of hunger is all too familiar.
The three of them go to dinner and sit with Johanna and the other victors. It is again like they are back in the training center and are once again reunited as a family. They laugh and joke and tell each other all of the mundane things that happened.
That night, Katniss can't sleep as her two roommates are dead to the world. She wiggles out of Finnick's iron grip on her and slips on some shoes. She doesn't bother changing into regular clothes, she stays in her tank top and sleep pants as she walks down the hall absentmindedly. She paces up and down the long gray halls just trying to tire herself out.
Gale is having a similar problem and is unable to sleep. He also decides to roam the halls. He doesn't bother with a shirt, but only puts on some pants, because who else would be up at this hour. At times he is so consumed with rage he can't sleep. The rage had started when his father died in the mines, but built into a full blown wildfire of hate and anger once Katniss was reaped. Watching her games from home was the worst experience he thought he could have at the time. He was wrong. Watching her be sold was the worse thing that had happened to him and knowing he was a small reason why she agreed to it made his guilt and rage grow even greater.
He sees a small figure walking towards him. Her head is down and it looks like she is murmuring something to herself. He smiles at the sight of her. She is alone and has the same scrunched face she makes when she is concentrating on a difficult snare. "Hey Catnip." He whispers into the dark hall.
Her head jerks up, but she relaxes quickly when she realizes it Gale. "Hey Gale. What are you doing up?" She asks shocked that anyone else would still be awake.
"Couldn't sleep." He shrugs, but she sees his eyes are fiery. She knows he is raging behind is fake calm demeanor.
She looks at him skeptically. "Really? When did you start hiding from me?" She asks accusingly.
He looks at her incredulously. "How am I hiding…I am right in front of you. Talking to you." He says hedging the real question.
She rolls her eyes. She knows the game he is playing. "Right. But your not being you anymore…at least not the you who would show me the rage in his eyes." She demands he acknowledges what she is asking.
He huffs out. He is angry that she won't drop it. She can see it, she knows he is going to blow his lid soon. She plans on being the one who opens it. "I don't know what you are talking about." He denies.
"Whatever Gale. I thought we were friends again….I guess not." She shrugs. She knows this will hit his button and he will pop. She can see it in his eyes. His gray eyes turning darker and hard. They twitch ever so slightly when he is about to go on a rant.
He tightens his jaw and clenches his fist. He takes a deep breath in before he speaks, remembering he can't yell. "Friends? Friends? Really? You want to talk about being friends? How many times have you sought me out?" She looks down ashamedly. He smirks in victory. "That's what I thought."
She falls against the wall. Her knees are in her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. She knows she isn't the best person in the world, but she hadn't realized she was neglecting anyone. She just isn't sure how everyone fits in her head. She isn't sure where she belongs.
He sighs and sits next to her on the cold hard floor. "I know you have a lot going on, I'm sorry." He says almost sincerely. He has a hard time really apologizing, especially if he doesn't think he is entirely wrong.
She looks over to him, her eyes brimming with tears. She is determined to hold them in. "I –I just…I don't know where I belong." She begins. "Or how my past and present fit into my head. I don't even allow the future into my head." She concedes. "I'm just trying to make it to the next day."
He puts his arm around her and pulls her close. "I guess I am having a hard time excepting the past and present too. It's not exactly how I had pictured it." He gives her a small smile as a peace offering. She returns it. He kisses the top of her head and inhales her hair. She reminds him of the woods, their woods.
"So what are you so upset about that you can't sleep?" She asks quietly.
He looks at her and shakes his head before answering. "I am mad because I hate what has been done to you….I hate that they took you away from me...I hate what has been done to all of us…I hate Snow and the Capitol." He says maliciously.
She looks at him seriously with a resolve he has never seen in her eyes before. "Me too." She states coldly. She has become tense. He fears she may disappear again, but she doesn't she soon relaxes as he holds her tightly against himself. They stare into each others gray eyes that are the same. Both steely and determined. Both raging with a fire to tear down the oppressor.
They fall asleep side by side in the hall way staring into each others eyes. They are awaken by the sound of footsteps. Peeta is awake earlier than most to get the bread for breakfast started before training. He sees the two of them asleep sitting up. His arm draped over her shoulder. Their heads on their knees, faces towards each other. He wishes it were him next to her. Offering a small comfort, but he knows it never will be. The small girl in Kindergarten he fell in love with isn't all there anymore. He doesn't really know this new wondrous creature. He sighs as he looks at them. Nothing about their position would register anything more than deep friendship. They look up at Peeta, both moving a little slow as they are sore from their current position. She offers Peeta a slight smile.
"Morning." He says cheerfully to them and nods his head.
"What time is it?" She groggily asks, trying to remember how they ended up like this.
"Four. Don't worry you still have an hour and a half until training, but I do suggest a bed to sleep on in the future so you won't be so sore the next day." He smiles brightly at them and gives a small laugh. They both glare daggers, but he can see they are not meaning it. He leaves them to go to the kitchen.
"Well I guess we better go back to our rooms to try and sleep a little more before training." She looks at Gale who nods in agreement. They give each other an appreciative smile to show their thanks for allowing some of the bridge to mend. They head back to their rooms silently.
When she enters her room she sees Finnick still sleeping, but looking a little sad. He is frowning ever so slightly and his face is tense. She is at first worried he is having a nightmare, but as she climbs back in bed with him and wiggles her way back in his arms, his face relaxes and a small smile splays across it. He sighs happily as if he has found his favorite teddy bear again. She looks at the gentle features on his face and smiles herself as she drifts back to sleep.
Morning comes too soon and she is dragging her feet to get up. Finnick pulls the covers off of her and drags her out of bed. She stumbles to the floor and changes quickly. "Didn't sleep well little flower?" Finnick asks knowingly. He knows she left the room last night. He just doesn't know why or where she went.
She sighs heavily. "No." But that is all the answer she is willing to give right now. He nods at her but his eyes tell her that they will be discussing it later. She looks at him tiredly but nods back.
At training Boggs tells them they will be leaving for a mission to District Two in two weeks. The victors are all excited to finally get some real action. Victors are funny people. Even though they abhor the Hunger Games and the killing of innocent children, they are all still violent and vindictive in nature. Who knows if it is something that happens after the games or if it is something that was always in them, but they are all eager for a fight.
Peeta walks over the where Katniss, Finnick, Johanna and Gale are chatting anxiously about the upcoming mission. "You two get anymore sleep?" He asks looking at Katniss and Gale.
Finnick's face becomes hard. He knows she left last night, but doesn't understand why or where she went. Katniss tenses as she knows Finnick isn't pleased. "Yeah." She looks up at Finnick. "I fell asleep happy." She says hoping Finnick will understand. She can't really say that she fell asleep in his arms because that is something she isn't supposed to be doing. His face is still hard and won't let up until he hears the full story. His sea green eyes have become murky with jealousy.
"Where were you two?" Johanna asks obnoxiously.
"In the hall….neither one of us could sleep well. I got up and went for a walk around the floor and bumped into Katniss." Gale states a little haughtily. He likes that it is getting under Finnick's skin, a form of payback.
Peeta looks at the group a little nervously, realizing he may have caused a problem in their dynamics. "When I was on my way to the kitchen this morning they were asleep sitting up in the hall." Peeta says, hoping this will restore the order. Finnick raises his brow at Katniss and she looks at him almost pleadingly to drop it. He shakes his head and puts on his fake Capitol smile.
After training, Katniss and Finnick go for a walk. He looks at her expectantly and she sighs before giving into his demand. "I couldn't sleep…I just thought maybe if I walked around a little I would get tired, but I ran into Gale and he was mad and wouldn't tell me." She glances over at him to gage is reactions, he looks at her to continue. "Well I yelled at him for not really being my friend and then he yelled at me for the same thing….then we sat and talked about how we were each having a hard time….I don't know…fitting the past and present together. Then I guess we fell asleep." She shrugs, but looks at him wanting him to say anything.
His face returns to the gentle face he only gives her. "I understand Katniss." He concedes. She smiles up at him and he bends and kisses her nose.
"Finn…When I came back in the room, your face was all worried and sad, but as soon as I wiggled my way back in your arms you were happy again." She looks into his beautiful hypnotic eyes that sparkle for her like the sea on a sunny day. "I fell back asleep in your arms happy too." She admits.
The rest of the week goes by in the same routine; wake, train, shower, lunch, propos and strategy, dinner, drink with Haymitch, sleep. On Saturday they break the routine and after lunch, Katniss and Finnick go to the practice range to work on their weapon skills and to teach each other. Finnick loves watching her body move. He finds himself wondering how Gale was able to restrain himself ever. She looks elegant, like a skilled ballerina when she moves with her bow and arrow. Her body is rigid, but fluid at the same time.
Gale for once did not go to weapons. He would not watch them again. He flushes even thinking about their familiar and seemingly seductive touches and he wishes it were him instead. He feels like he is intruding on some forbidden desire when they move together as one, showing and leading the other to release. He does not need anymore reasons to be angry, so he stays away.
When he instructors her on how to use the trident he always holds a little too tight or a little to long. He love the way her small strong frame feels against his, delicate but deadly. "You are magnificent." He whispers in her ear as she stands poised to launch the trident at the target.
A smile tugs on the side of her mouth. She thrust the trident and it hits its target right on the mark. She decides she enjoys working with the trident almost as much as she does the bow and arrows. It gives her ecstasy. Or maybe it's just her teaching instructor. No, she really does enjoy the moment of puncture too much for it just to be about the instructor.
She is patient with him and the bow. It is a more delicate instrument than the trident and takes a gentle touch, not just a thrust. Soon though he has caught on how to finger and hold it. He too decides he likes this weapon almost as much as his own. It reminds him of the instructor teaching him. She is delicate yet sturdy and strong.
When they are done they once again find the supply closet and as they did earlier in the week, they let their desire and need come to a head. They really don't understand why weapons practice makes them feel this way, but it does. So much so that they can't even wait to find a proper room or bed. Hell, if they were sure there weren't cameras or people in weapons they probably would have gone down right there on the range floor.
They spend the rest of the night with Johanna and Haymitch talking. She loves the way Finnick's mind isn't completely desolate and warped like hers or even Haymitch and Johanna's. He has a hope in his mind that the other three can barely comprehend. He talks of the future where they can only think of the present and relive the nightmares of the past. His mind is damaged, but he never lost his hope.
Haymitch knows they will be going on their mission soon and he knows it will be like a reminder of her games. He will be sitting in command watching and directing her while she fights. He looks at the three warriors and knows that if anyone can bring down the Capitol it will be them. His chest fills with sorrow and pride at the thought, because who should ever be trained to kill or have as much hate for something. But he is far prouder of the fact that they will bring it down, block by block. He knows Cato or Glimmer or any of the other tributes from the Seventy-fourth games would not have sparked or touched the people of the districts as much as she had. And even though Snow tried with all his might to show the people she was just a puppet, his tool, they saw past it to the girl who is on fire, to the Mockingjay. They hadn't always seen past the other victors, but they know this girl, who brought humanity to the games, is different from all the rest.
Early in the morning on Sunday, Katniss kisses Finnick gently as she wiggles out of bed and gets ready to go hunting. This will be their last Sunday to hunt before the mission. She likes hunting with Gale, they move as a team of one mind and body. Even if these woods weren't their woods it is still a familiar feeling. When they see each other at the fence they smile, real smiles and walk out into the wilderness together. They have a good day getting game and talking. They sit in a tree in an old familiar way, like when they were younger. He sits leaning up against the trunk and she sits facing him, but leaning against his legs, her legs straddling the limb. "I miss this." She admits lazily.
"Me too Catnip." He agrees. His gray eyes are light with happiness.
"We really could have run away that day before the reaping…you know if we didn't have all the kids." She smirks, thinking of how the conversation had bothered her then. She would never leave Prim, but now, looking back, it is funny in a dark woeful way.
"Yea too bad we had all those kids at such a young age. We had what six and you were only sixteen." He teases. They always included their mothers as part of their kids, because they wouldn't have survived without them either.
"You were only eighteen." She counters. Their tongue-in-cheek assessment of their situation is new for them. They never discussed the kids actually being theirs or any innuendo of such, only that they called them their kids. "I don't know if I will ever have kids. I didn't want them back then after having to raise so many, but now I am still not sure even with the hope for an easier future." She confesses almost embarrassedly.
He nods his head in understanding. He knows not to tell her that he wanted/ wants to have kids, but only with her. He knows that telling her she would be an amazing mother and he has seen it first hand would make her pull away. He doesn't want that, not now that they are really coming back together. "We better head back. Greasy Sae is probably wondering where dinner is." He says lightly. This time she nods in agreement and swings off the branch landing on the ground in a perfected crouch. He follows and they head back into the gray underground abyss of District Thirteen.