Universal United Wrestling Federation
NXT, April 9, 2013: 2 days removed from WrestleMania
Part 2: Team Bikini Bottom (Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star) vs. Edgeheads 2.0 (Mordecai and Rigby) vs. Dead Man's Hand (D.O.C. and Mike Knox) vs. Epico & Primo - Number 1 Contender's match for the NXT Tag Team Championship
Info: A Fatal Four Way match to determine the number one contender for the NXT Tag Team Championship against Lightning Strikes in the near future; Nightwing shoots a promo prior to his match against William Regal.
Rated T for violence, language, occasional alcohol use and reference and suggestive themes.
I do not own about 97% of the characters used in this well-done fanfiction wrestling company, as they all belong to their rightful owners, wherever they are.
I don't exactly want any hate for any characters used from shows/games you dislike.
Inspired and co-written by CharlieHarperFan88 aka ForeverTheTorturedRebel.
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As the commercial break ended, the song "You Better Swim" by Motorhead began to play all across the NXT arena as the fans stood in applause for the first team about to appear for the Fatal 4-Way match. Ring announcer Tony Chimel began introducing the teams one by one.
(Song: "You Better Swim" by Motorhead)
Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it's a Number 1 Contender's match for the NXT Tag Team Championship! Making their way to the ring... from Bikini Bottom... at a total combined weight of 489 pounds... (Spongebob's weight of 159 + Patrick's 330 pounds) Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star... Team Bikini Bottom!
Spongebob and Patrick came out wearing leather jackets (similar to the jackets they wore in the episode entitled "Born to Be Wild") and gave high-fives to the fans who were busy rocking out to the theme song.
Todd Grisham: Hello and welcome back to NXT! I'm Todd Grisham, and with me as always is Tazz! It's now time for our number one contender's match for the NXT Tag Team Championship.
Tazz: I'm so fired up for this contest! Four of the most decorated teams on NXT will get a golden opportunity to go up against Lightning Strikes for the Tag Team Championship! I can imagine the carnage about to be thrown in anytime soon!
You think you know me?
After Spongebob and Patrick got inside the ring, the sound of Alterbridge's Metalingus started playing next, and the fans went in an uncontrollable frenzy.
(Song: "Metalingus" by Alter Bridge)
On this day
I see clearly
Everything has come to life!
Tony Chimel: Next up, from the park of coolness... at a total combined weight of 300 pounds... (Mordecai and Rigby both weigh 150, oddly enough) Mordecai and Rigby, Edgeheads 2.0!
Dressed like their hero, The "Rated R Superstar" Edge, Mordecai and Rigby rushed into the ring and raised their fists in victory while giving the devil horns to the screaming fans!
Even Mordecai got a look of the fangirls ringside who all dreamed of stripping Mordecai out of his clothes. (Yes, in NXT, Mordecai wears ring gear and so does Rigby. What, did you think they fight without any gear on?)
Todd Grisham: Their name, of course, is a homage to the "Rated R Superstar" Edge.
Tazz: They hope to become 2-time NXT tag Team Champions if they can win the match and beat Lightning Strikes for the championship in the near future.
Todd Grisham: If that is, if they can get past three of the most dangerous teams in NXT today!
After Mordecai and Rigby enjoyed the cheering of the crowd, their theme song died down, only to play the Dead Man's Hand theme.
(Song: "Dead Man's Hand" by Dale Oliver and Serg Salinas)
Tony Chimel: Next up... at a total combined weight of 598 pounds... (293 for Knox, 305 for D.O.C.) D.O.C. and Mike Knox... Dead Man's Hand!
With angry sneers on their face, D.O.C. and Knox were treated to a large amount of boos as they made their way to ringside through the crowd area, towards an opened up barricade corner. Quite frankly, they didn't even care one single bit about what the fans think.
Dead Man's Hand got inside the ring and looked at the direction of both Team Bikini Bottom and Mordecai & Rigby. They were looking at them like they were nothing but worthless victims.
Todd Grisham: Dead Man's Hand is one scary bunch.
Tazz: You kidding me, Todd? They're so scary that it makes Freddy Kreuger, Jason, and every horror movie monster look weak from the neck up! Dead Man's Hand is the mother lode!
The boos kept on continuing as the next team's entrance music played.
(Song: "Enchanted Isle" by Jim Johnston)
Tony Chimel: And last up... being led down the aisle by their manager Rosa Mendez... from San Juan, Puerto Rico... at a total combined weight of 432 pounds... (215 for Primo, 217 for Epico) Primo & Epico!
The rest of the male demographic all hollered at what Rosa was wearing: nothing but a white tank top and black hot pants and boots. The cousins all blocked her from the fans which forced the boos to go louder than a banshee. The ovation filled almost the entire arena up.
Tazz: Let me tell ya something, Grisham... have you ever seen Rosa Mendez look hotter in life?
Todd Grisham: I'm not gonna lie Tazz, she looks so hot that my goggles are starting to fog up from here.
Tazz: I'm not sure about you, but I don't like the way how Primo & Epico are blocking Rosa from everyone. I think the fans want to focus on her instead of the cousins!
Primo and Epico took off their Puerto Rico-imprinted vests off as all of the four teams stared at one another. This was a golden opportunity. Only one team was gonna be Number 1 Contender. The other three was going to be left in the dust.
Before the action was just about moments from starting, it was cut off by the sound of another kind of recognizable theme to another negative reaction.
(Song: "Say It to My Face" by Downstait)
The theme song only meant one thing: The arrival of the NXT Tag Team Champions, Lightning Strikes. Lightning Dust appeared first, followed by Lightning, who had his arm wrapped around Anne Maria like an escort. Not everyone in the NXT crowd was negative; there was the whole male legion of fans who cheered for Anne Maria.
Todd Grisham: Well, it looks like we have some guests who are willing to join us.
Tazz: It's the current NXT Tag Team Champions! This is sure to spice the action up! And when I mean spice, I think of Anne Maria! She's way hotter than Rosa instead!
As soon as Lightning took a seat next to his tag team partner, Anne Maria decided to lay on the entire announce table and pose sexily, much to the catcalls from the male crowd.
To the commentators, this looked very distracting from the action about to take place right now.
Todd Grisham: *distracted by Anne Maria* Um, Lightning & Lightning Dust... it's very good to have you here.
Lightning: Hey, when there's always a show to be thrown, Lightning's always the first man to be here.
Tazz: I don't know about you, but I think Anne Maria's got the perfect seat in the house! I can hardly see anything, other than her curves
Lightning: Ya got a sha-problem with that? Anne Maria sits where she wants to, and that's how Lightning likes it! *staring at the timekeeper* Now if that sha-monkey over there would ring the bell, Lightning likes to see some action!
The matchup finally went underway as the bell rang. The first two people starting off was Mordecai and Primo.
After a tie-up, Mordecai caught Primo in surprise with a arm drag, and then in an another arm drag. But Primo countered it with impressive arm drags of his own. After a couple of arm drags, Mordecai surprised Primo once again with a hurricanrana and Primo did the same. They got up and stanced themselves, hoping that either one of them would make the next move. The crowd applauded for this action in the start of the match.
Tazz: Wow! This was going fast and furious! And this crowd's loving every minute of it!
Todd Grisham: I couldn't see. My glasses are a little fogged up because of Anne Maria.
Lightning: Ehhhh, Lightning aint impressed. Me and my partner sha-thinks that it's just nothing but a circus sideshow. Nothing else but the moving around and whatnot.
After another tie-up, Mordecai monkey flipped Primo, but the third generation member of the Colon family landed on his two feet. As he turned around however, he was surprised by a superkick from Mordecai himself!
Tazz: Oh! He ate that superkick for lunch!
Todd Grisham: Primo's jaw might've been dropped from his mouth, literally!
Feeling the stinging effects of the super kick, Primo decided to tag Epico in the match. Mordecai gestured Epico to bring it on, and hearing this, Epico obliged.
But Epico's poor impulse control got in the way. He ran, only for Mordecai to lower the ropes and send Epico out on the floor.
What Epico didn't know was the fact that D.O.C. got in a surprise tag. As Mordecai tried to get Epico with a suicide dive, he was caught off guard by D.O.C. with a clothesline.
Todd Grisham: Oh, clothesline! Mordecai didn't see it coming!
Lightning: That D.O.C. dude makes one hell of a roadblock!
During the commentary, the camera got a good look of Anne Maria's DD cleavage. Those babies looked like they were about to pop out of that fuchsia top of hers.
Tazz: *chuckling* I'm not sure about you, but I'm seeing two roadblocks right now!
Lightning: You got that right, Tazz! Take a look at what you and the rest of the sha-hogs watching now will never have in a lifetime! Lightning loves her little sha-honey!
Todd Grisham: Just make sure you focus on the action, guys.
After that horrendous clothesline, D.O.C. picked up Mordecai and gave him another clothesline. He then bodyslammed him and dropped him with a huge elbow drop.
Todd Grisham: D.O.C. drops the elbow! Dead Man's Hand now has full control of this match.
After taking care of business with an elbow drop, D.O.C. came up with a running splash right on Mordecai. As D.O.C. covered the bluejay, the referee counted.
1! 2! Mordecai happened to kick out at the right time.
D.O.C. shoved him to the corner where he tagged in Mike Knox, another member of Dead Man's Hand. The two whipped Mordecai through the ropes, which at the same time Spongebob gave in a blind tag to Mordecai.
Tazz: Spongebob got a tag in.
Lightning: Oh great. Now Lightning's gotta deal seeing a flying piece of talking cheese. This is gonna be sha-sad.
After taking down Mordecai with a double elbow, D.O.C. and Mike Knox turned around to see Spongebob leap up from the apron and nail both men with a springboard clothesline!
Todd Grisham: Springboard clothesline from the apron. Spongebob nails it perfectly!
The hit forced D.O.C. and Knox to take cover outside of the ring. Big mistake, guys. This forced Spongebob to capitalize. The fearless yellow sponge ran back between the ropes and nailed both men with a double senton!
Todd Grisham: Double rolling senton and Spongebob nails it!
Lightning: Spongebob is nothing but a sha-maniac. I'm glad I'm sha-nothing like that rotten piece of sponge!
Tazz: Oh, don't we all, Lightning...
After both Spongebob, D.O.C. and Knox remained motionless on the floor, Primo and Epico got inside the ring and decided to take a run at it as well. The two cousins from Puerto Rico took a run through the ropes and hit the threesome with a double suicide dive!
Tazz: Oh man! Double suicide dive!
Todd Grisham: You may not like Epico and Primo, but you gotta appreciate their athleticism!
Lightning: Oh, sha-please! Lightning thinks nothing but lame Speedy Gonzales impersonators. That's why if they become sha-number one contenders, Lightning and Dust here are gonna eat them up like twin Sylvesters!
Spongebob, D.O.C., Knox, Epico and Primo were now unconscious and reeling. The crowd was screaming for more.
Not having to let down the fans, Mordecai and Rigby went to two different corners where they could see the fivesome starting to get up very slowly. Not even going for a flying body press, the two best friends turned around and leaped for a double moonsault!
Todd Grisham: Dios mio! A double moonsault!
Tazz: This crowd has lost it!
Lightning: *looking at Anne Maria's chest* I know. These people just can't take their eyes off Lightning's woman. *to the fans* That's right, everyone. Be jealous of my sha-lady. You know you want her when in reality, ya sha-can't!
As Lightning was still gazing at his sexy girlfriend on the announcer's table. Patrick became amazed by each dive. Seeing that incredible dive display coming from all seven men, Patrick decided to top it all off.
That's when the hard and heavy Patrick decided to descend from the top rope. The whole NXT crowd were shocked in anticipation. They stood up on their seats and gasped in awe. Was Patrick really gonna leap from the top rope and land on all of the other teams?
Tazz: Oh, god... please tell me Patrick's not gonna do this!
Todd Grisham: I'm not sure the ring's gonna hold his weight!
Lightning: I bet ya he falls right on his sha-ass!
With a deep breath, Patrick leaped up in the air, while his partner Spongebob rolled out of the way, and landed on all three of the opposing teams in this Fatal Four Way, much to the cheering fans enjoyment. The rest of the crowd all chanted "Holy Shit" in unison of Patrick's unbelievable stunt. Even Lightning couldn't believe his eyes!
Lightning: You gotta be sha-kidding me!
Todd Grisham: Patrick Star just caused a demolition derby at ringside!
Tazz: Look at this! This is like an apocalypse here! Both tag teams are unconscious at this moment!
Knowing that her rump was getting a little sore sitting on that announcer's table, Anne Maria decided to get frisky with Lightning by firmly sitting on Lightning's lap.
Lightning Dust on the other hand, remained silent and decided to keep observing the action. She wasn't pretty much in the mood for talking.
Todd Grisham: Which team will try to get up first! Who will be the new number 1 contenders for the NXT Tag Team Championship? NXT will come right back after the break, so don't go away!
As Team Bikini Bottom slowly started to get up, the screen faded into black, which meant it was time for a commercial break
*Commercial break*
After the commercial break, Patrick Star was seen carrying around Epico on one shoulder like a sandbag, before slamming the Puerto Rican down to the mat with the rough Oklahoma-style powerslam.
Todd Grisham: Welcome back to this Fatal 4 Way match on NXT, as after that "Holy You-Know-What" feat from the super-heavyweight Patrick Star, Team Bikini Bottom has been in control ever since. If you missed the last few minutes, with me and Tazz are the NXT Tag Team Champions, two of the quickest-rising stars in the developmental brand, Lightning Strikes, and their valet, who is team leader Lightning's girlfriend Anne Maria.
Tazz: And I don't know what I should focus on; the match or the people with us at ringside!
Lightning: Pfft, quit sha-droolin', Tazz. You know you ain't getting a piece of my sha-lady any time soon!
Back in the ring, during the commentary, Patrick lifted Epico up in a gorilla press position, and was planning on tossing the Colon cousin out of the ring. However, Mike Knox, who was right behind Patrick, tapped on the bulky starfish's back, tagging himself in.
Tazz: Oh, boy, this ain't good for Patrick.
Knox entered the ring, bent on demolishing the competition, and clotheslined Patrick from behind, sending him, along with the elevated Epico, crashing to the mat in the center of the ring. Patrick held his stomach after the tumble, as he landed on his front. Lightning briefly recoiled from the sloppy and painful landings Patrick and Epico took in the ring. Knox pinned the starfish afterwards, trying to take the opportunity of possible victory.
Lightning: Ooh, that's gotta leave a sha-mark!
1! 2! ...Patrick powered out, making use of his strength to lift the only slightly lighter outlaw biker in a front knee backbreaker position.
Tazz: Oh my lord, the strength of Patrick, carrying someone almost as large as he is!
Lightning: I'm still not impressed with that sha-slob of a... fish or somethin'.
Patrick pulled his weight down, preparing for what is most likely a fallaway slam, and got set to toss Mike across the ring, but Knox elbowed the oddly pink power-lifter in the head, forcing him to let go. Knox ran the ropes, and at a swift speed, knocked Star down with a stiff clothesline.
Todd Grisham: So, uh, Lightning Dust, how about you? Your thoughts on this match so far?
The rebelious teal pegasus had no comment. All she had done so far as this match went on is stay seated and watch, much unlike her partner.
Tazz: Heh, nice try, Todd.
Lightning: She can talk when she wants to. Just not right now, ya feel me? It's how she sha-rolls.
In the ring, Mike Knox had just tagged in D.O.C., and they both stomped on Patrick for a brief moment before the referee had Knox go to the ring apron. The Director of Chaos (where the abbreviation "D.O.C." comes from) dropped a couple of hard elbows on Patrick Star while he was down on the mat before picking the starfish up and throwing a couple of closed fists at his face, connecting with each shot he delivered to the super-heavyweight from Bikini Bottom.
Tazz: And D.O.C. showing his bare-knuckled experience here!
D.O.C. then whipped Patrick into the ropes, and then caught him with a shoulder block that sent the sea creature crashing to the white mat.
Todd Grisham: What a take down!
Lightning: Ha! Lightning can see that from a mile away!
Tazz: Are you accurate on that comment or are ya just bragging?
Lightning: Tazz... just sha-shut it, okay?
D.O.C. began to continue the punishment on Patrick Star, as he dragged the starfish by his head until he was back up on his stubby feet, and goozled him, preparing for the chokeslam. However, the pink starfish began to struggle out of the move, so much as to kick the Director of Chaos in the gut, and set him up for a successful vertical suplex that connected with authority.
Todd Grisham: And Patrick escapes fate!
Tazz: Our NXT Tag Team Champions need to examine these guys good, am I right, Lightning?
As the commentator looked towards the tag team champions of their developmental brand, he noticed that the male half of the tag team (Lightning) was a bit too busy... uh, making out with his hot Jersey lover. Lightning Dust tried to focus on her team's task at hand, which was to closely examine all four of the tag teams, and see who wins, but couldn't help but curiously look back a couple of times, and she got a bit nervous to the point that her wings were starting to open.
Tazz: Uh, Dust? You gettin' a little stiff there? That is, if you know what I'm sayin'.
The pegasus folded her wings back up, as she blushed, as the crowd got ready for the best to come so far tonight. Back inside the yellow-roped ring, Patrick rebounded off the ropes and landed on D.O.C. with a big splash, going for the pin.
1! 2! D.O.C. powered out of the pinfall, but just a second earlier, Epico jumped in to try and break it to try and avoid letting Team Bikini Bottom win.
Patrick saw the apple off the Colon family tree come after him, and slapped the Puerto Rican-born superstar on the chest, which made almost as big a noise as Big Show's chops.
Todd Grisham: *trying not to get distracted by Lightning and Anne Maria* So, uh, Patrick is getting the advantage here, as he just got a pinfall, and is now going after the interfering Epico, one half of one of the four tag teams in this match.
As Patrick put the hurt on Epico, the manager of the two Colon family superstars Rosa Mendes got up on the apron where Epico was and demanded Primo to get in the ring as well, in which he obliged. Patrick Star whipped Epico into the ropes, and unfortunately for the Colons, right into Rosa, who got knocked off the ring apron and hit the commentary table cover face-first.
Tazz: Oh, that was painful!
Todd Grisham: Looks like the hot stuff is just being thrown at us now!
Okay, back into the match, Epico bounced off the ropes, and was lifted high into the air, before landing on the mat at the corner near the Edgeheads 2.0 and Mike Knox, thanks to a back body drop from Patrick. After taking down one half of a tag team, Patrick began to focus on the other, as he saw Primo running after him and lifted him up in a big gorilla press...
...before sending Primo crashing onto Epico by dropping him onto the other. However, what Patrick didn't see as he was taking care of the duo from Puerto Rico, was that D.O.C. had rolled out to ringside, to dig underneath the ring and find a toolbox, in which he pulled out his chaos-bringing ball-peen hammer. He smirked sinisterly as he slid into the ring and waited for Patrick to turn around.
Tazz: Oh boy, this won't look good for the sea people!
Lightning: Honestly, who basically sha-cares what those things are? They ain't gettin' the win now.
D.O.C. held the hammer up high, as it was the last resort in the Dead Man's Hand playbook...
...but Patrick's partner Spongebob to spring up behind the powerhouse and snatch the hammer from his hands. D.O.C. turned towards, targetting the little sponge instead.
Todd Grisham: And now he's turned his attention to Spongebob!
Patrick turned around, seeing the Director of Chaos with his back turned...
...and rolled the big man up, to the surprise and amazement from just about the entire crowd.
1! 2! 3!
Todd Grisham: Whoa!
Tazz: Care to eat your own words, Lightning?
Lightning: *seeing the successful pin from Patrick in shock* Y-you're sha-kidding, right? Right?!
(Song: "You Better Swim" by Motorhead)
Tony Chimel: The winners of this match, and the new number one contenders to the NXT Tag Team Championships, Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star, Team Bikini Bottom!
Todd Grisham: Against all odds, Team Bikini Bottom comes out with the win!
The referee raised the arms of both Spongebob and Patrick as they celebrated in the ring, now wanting to head back to the top once again like they did years ago. The other teams looked on in either disappointment, surprise, shock, or all of the above
Tazz: Lightning Strikes will have some serious competition next week, as they meet the bestest of friends, and former tag team champions of their own worth, Todd! I love it!
Todd Grisham: It was a sudden turn of events at the very end of that match, but anything can happen in the UUWF, so I don't know what else to say!
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NXT commentator Jack Korpela was at the interview area with Dick Grayson, whose alter ego was Nightwing. But Grayson wasn't alone. He was standing alongside Helena Bertinelli, also known as the vigilante and superheroine, Huntress. She was rubbing his shoulder, in warm up of his match against William Regal.
Jack Korpela: Grayson, you had a rough last week as Nightwing last night when William Regal used his brass knucks on you to cost you your match against Alejandro. Are you looking to get a bit retribution against your opponent tonight?
Dick Grayson/Nightwing: Jack, you're looking at William Regal, one of the baddest bastards on the block and all across England. I know somewhere around the line that he's gonna use his brass knucks on me just so he can get the victory. He's always used to getting his own way. But not this time, Jack. There's no way I'm falling for that this time around. He's responsible for costing me my matchup against Alejandro last week. This week, I'm looking to get even on that poor excuse of Shepard's pie. *to Helena* Right, babe?
Helena Bertinelli/Huntress: *to Grayson* You got that right. *to Jack* Jack, after what me and Nightwing went through with his bullcrap, there's no way I'm gonna let Regal get away with what he's done. It's unfair that justice is being raped from this nation. All of the WWE is being spread by injustice, just like what the Shield have done on ECW. But we are different. We're here at NXT to make sure that we serve justice, the right way. And William Regal is gonna learn the cold hard truth that justice... will be served.
After Jack saw Dick and Helena walk away from him, Tazz's voice was heard from off-screen.
Tazz: Oh, baby! I can't wait for this matchup! It's Nightwing vs. William Regal, and it's up next!
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Great effort from all four teams in the Fatal 4 Way tag team match. I guarrantee the race for the NXT Tag Team Championships isn't a very long one, but it will be exciting for this brand!
Like it was said, up next is Nightwing vs. Regal, so stick around!