hey guys! Here is another chapter! I hope that you guys like the chapter! I want to thank the reviwer: tiffboocullen. I really hope that you like this chapter. and don't worry. Niki doesn't die, and she won't die when she gives birth to the baby.

If I can't have chapter 12: I don't wnat this baby to love me

I sat in the hospital room waiting for the doctor to come in. Nate went down to the cafe to get Cassie something to eat. I sighed and grabbed the TV and pulled it close. I really needed to do something. I was bored out of my mind. i turned on the TV and started watching cartoons. I got bored of cartoons and swtiched the channel to MuchMusic. I started singing along to a Lady GaGa song that was playing. Then the music video ended and some kind of news thing started playing. I started watching it, but wished that i hadn't.

I watched the news in horror to see that they were talking about Connect Three and our families. They started talking about Shane and Becky's. They were saying that Becky got pregnant from someone that wasn't Shane. they said that Becky was going to leave Shane and run off with the real guy that got her pregnant. I glared at the TV and grabbed my pillow. i threw it at the TV and scowled. I was about to turn it off, when they started talking about Melissa and Jason.

"We have heard recent news that Melissa and Jason's children are not going on tour this time. People have been wondering why all this time. But we finally have the right answer. the real reason why her kids aren't going on tour. Niki, and Cassie. Melissa has a problem with Cassie and Niki because Niki ran away when she was pregnant with Cassie." I stared at the TV in shock. That's the reason why they weren't going on tour? that's the reason why Melissa wanted nothing to do with Cassie!?? I glared at the TV, and was about to throw a bottle at it, when i realised that I was the last person that they were going to talk about. I payed close attention as they got started.

"And lastly, we have Niki." I braced myself and leaned in closer.

"Niki, got pregnant when she was 17 and ran away. Then a couple of years later, she got pregnant again. You think that maybe she would learn how to care of a child but I guess not. Niki is now in the hospital, and there is no news whether her baby is okay or not. I really think that Niki needs to grow up and learnt to actually take care of her children. I mean one of her children could be dead! And Nate is taking care of the other one. News flash Niki! Nate is a rockstar! He can't be doing your job and his at the same time!" I stared at the TV. I let out some tears fall. I took in a deep breath to stop myself from sobbing. I can't believe it! they were right! I am a horrible mother! I reached over and grabbed the pillow that was lying on the floor. I grabbed and held it up to my face, and I sobbed. I let out any frustration that I had. I sobbed until it hurt to cry. I felt my throat tighten. I didn't hear the door open. I didn't hear Nate and Cassie come in. I felt the pillow get ripped away and saw Cassie sitting on the bed, I saw Nate looking at me concerned.

"Mommy? What's wrong?" I ignored her and looked out the window. I thought about everything they said. I thought about how Cassie would never get love from Melissa because of me. I saw Nate, sit beside me and rub my back. I thought about how everyone was going to look down on Nate because of me. I felt Cassie tug my arm and I felt my throat close up again.

"MOMMY? MOMMY ANSWER ME!!" I looked out the window and tried to control my crying. Again Cassie pulled on my arm.

"Mommy! MOMMY! MOMMY!" I turned to look at Cassie and I snapped.

"Cassie! Can you please just shut up for 5 minutes please?!?" I heard Cassie whimper and then started bawling. I saw Nate glared at me and pick up Cassie. He held her in his arms and glared at me.

"She is just a child Niki! Don't take your anger out on her!" I looked at Cassie and she looked at me and then buried her head in Nate's neck. I felt tears erupt in my eyes and I started crying. I went to reach out to Cassie, but Nate moved backwards. I looked at Nate and Cassie and Nate just shook his head and scoffed.

"Niki, I'm taking Cassie home. I'll come back later, when you're going to get released." I looked at Nate and more tears came.

"Nate! Please don't take Cassie home! I didn't mean to yell at her!" Nate glared at me and then turned around and walked out. I looked down at my stomach and rubbed it gently. I thought for a minute, and then shook my head. I heard a knock at the door, and the doctor came in. I quickly wiped the tears away and forced a smile. The doctor smiled and came to stand by the bed.

"Alright Niki. Now it's time for the news." I nodded and the doctor looked at her clipboard one more time.

"Alright, so, what happened is that one of your babies kicked you hard in the stomach and it caused some bleeding. That's where the pain came from." I looked at the doctor when she said one of my babies. I had more that one baby.

"So, we managed to save one baby, but Niki, I'm very regretful to say that we couldn't save your little girl." I looked at the doctor, with tear filled eyes.

"You were going to have a little girl and a little boy. I am so sorry Niki, we don't know why the little survived and the little boy didn't. But the little boy did. It looks like you have a little fighter on your hands." I looked at the doctor and forced a smile. The doctor nodded and got up and left. I felt my throat close again, and I let out a sob, but this time, i wasn't holding anything back. I started sobbing uncontrollably. I rubbed my stomach and felt a kick.

"I'm sorry baby! I'm sorry that you had to lose your baby sister. I'm sorry that I won't be the perfect mother." I kissed my fingers and rubbed them on my stomach. I closed my eyes and heard the echoes of what the reporter said. I heard that in my head over and over again. I kept my eyes closed and felt more tears run down my face. I took a deep breath and then looked out the window.

"I'm a child murderer baby. I murdered your little sister." I touched my stomach and then choked on some tears.

"B-baby. When you get born, when you grow up, I want you to hate me. I want you to hate me, and give me the revenge that I need and deserve."