All things Twilight belong to the Awesomely talented Stephenie Meyer (19 Days Till Breaking Dawn)

Chapter 11 - Charlie

It took a couple of days for me to build up the courage to even drive by Charlie's house, Edward and I would get into his Volvo and before we'd even hit the end of the secluded drive I'd beg him to turn around.

I'd done this at least four times in the last two days. I needed to do it soon because we were running out of time, James and the others were rapidly approaching with Renee, I didn't know what would happen so I wanted to make sure this would work on humans before I put Renee's life in danger.

It was two am when I finally built up the courage to allow a visit, I wasn't planning on stopping, I just wanted to make sure I could see the house without breaking down. The last thing I wanted with my goodbye to Charlie was sobbing. It wouldn't be fair to him and I would never be able to say what I wanted to.

Edward slowed the car to a crawl by the house I had occupied for less than three months, I could feel the pang in my chest, this would be so much harder than I ever anticipated. Inside that house was my father, I was like him in so many ways and I hardly knew him, but I loved him more than he would ever know. The emotions came crashing over me, I wanted to talk with him so badly, tell him everything I could have never said when I was human.

I could smell his scent from the car and hear the soft snore as he slept peacefully. His room was at the other side of the house but my enhanced hearing could hear everything.

"Charlie," the soft female voice shocked me, I really hadn't been expecting it.

Charlie grunted quietly in response.

"Charlie, wake up." I could hear the smile in the woman's voice.

I looked to Edward, he was watching me carefully. I knew he hated seeing the pain that was behind my eyes. We'd become so close in these last couple of days that we were inseparable. He was my strength, he made me feel like I could do anything, I would never get through this without him.

"I'm up," I heard Charlie's voice gravelly with sleep as he moved in the bed. "What is it Sheila? Are you alright?"

"Give me your hand, the baby's kicking."

The air in my lungs came out in a whooshing sound, I'd forgotten about the woman and my unborn sibling. Edward immediately took my hand in his, stroking the back of my hand calmly with him thumb.

"Bella, love, are you alright?"

I nodded, trying to find my voice. "Fine, I just forgot, and it's a bit of a shock." I sighed.

The hand of Edward's that wasn't already holding mine reached out and cupped my cheek, he turned my face gently to meet his, I looked into his topaz eyes that were burning with concern.

"Really, Edward, I'm okay." I insisted.

I heard Charlie's light chuckle from inside the house. I was glad he sounded so happy, it was what he deserved. During my time with him it was blatantly obvious he was still in love with my mother. He would never have admitted it but I was intuitive enough to notice. I knew that the harsh words that were exchanged after my 'death' had freed him of those bonds. Renee could be cruel when pushed, and I feared that if she'd said what she was feeling, even in her despair, it would've divided them and broken any hope Charlie would have held.

It was a hard pill to swallow, but one I accepted. He finally had closure, there was nothing linking them together anymore, I was the bond, I was the one thing that kept them in one another's lives and now I was gone to them. He finally had a chance to live.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked quietly. It was still an adjustment to him, he heard everyone but me and I knew that sometimes he wished he could decipher my thoughts, but I enjoyed the privacy, if I needed to share, I now had the ability.

"I'm happy he's free, it seems I was the one thing holding him back." I sighed.

"Bella," Edward lamented, "believe me, you never held him back, you kept him going. Do you know what he's thinking?"

I looked at Edward with my eyebrows raised. He laughed gently, knowing the answer.

"He's remembering when your mom was pregnant with you, he wishes you were here to share this with him."

The surge of emotions filled me at his words, I always knew Charlie loved me, and I knew that he had always respected me, but him wanting to share his joy with me meant so much. I turned my head gently and kissed the palm of Edward's hand, he knew I was thanking him, the answer had made it a little easier for me to deal with.

I could hear Sheila as she shifted around in the bed, I wasn't sure how pregnant she was but she sounded awkward.

"What do you need Sheila?" Charlie asked, I could hear the smile in his voice and it was obvious he was watching his pregnant girlfriend trying to move.

"Snacks, I think I want some of those chips, you know the really hot ones. I can't seem to get enough of the spicy foods."

Charlie laughed gently. "You stay here, I'll get them."

"Thank you, hun." Sheila sounded relieved.

I heard more movements in the house and I made my decision, it was now or never, I was sure it would be difficult getting Charlie alone again. Sheila may miss him if he took too long and look to find him, but I would have to take the chance. I needed to see my father.

"I'll be back." I said to Edward as I moved from his gentle touch.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked, his voice reassuring me in every way.

"No, he knows who you are, it would confuse things."

Edward nodded and I stepped out of the car and into the quiet night. The fresh air made it a little easier to think. I moved quickly through the shadows to the front of the house, the only person that needed to see me was Charlie. It would make this difficult if someone had seen me without my knowledge.

I searched the eaves and found the key where it had always been, some things never changed.

I let myself in quietly and headed towards the kitchen, where Charlie would be arriving soon. I sat in one of the mismatched chairs and waited for him. I had been through this so many times in my head since I discovered my gift, but I still felt a little apprehensive. I knew I needed to take the shock out of the situation, Charlie wasn't as young as he used to be and I was afraid I would scare him half to death. I thought about him and tried to make him expect to see me in the kitchen, I just hoped that it had worked.

I heard his heartbeat begin racing as he reached the bottom of the stairs, it had worked, he'd expected me. His heartbeat gave away his anticipation.

"Bella?" his voice was shaky as he moved towards the kitchen.

"Yes dad." I said quietly. I knew my appearance would shock him, I was paler than I used to be and my body had become more developed with the transition. I hoped it wouldn't be too obvious, but then I doubted he would notice. Seeing your dead daughter sitting in your kitchen would probably take any shock of how I looked out of the equation.

Charlie appeared in the kitchen quickly at the sound of my voice and the look he was giving me tore me apart. His eyes were welling with tears and his bottom lip quivered ever so slightly, he was holding back a breakdown. His feet carried him forward slowly, his face full of disbelief, his mouth hung open slightly at the sight of me. Maybe I should have made him believe I was in the kitchen, rather than simply expecting me.

"It's okay, Dad." I whispered but I could hear my voice cracking. "It's me."

"How?" his voice was rough with emotion as he fell into the kitchen chair opposite me.

"It's difficult to explain, and I don't have too long, I'm just happy I was able to come. I needed to say goodbye, I hope you understand." I whispered gently.

"Oh Bells, I miss you so much." Charlie's voice cracked and his tears began flowing freely. His head dropped into his hand as he tried to hide his emotions, I hadn't expected him to react like this and I felt a little guilty at putting him through this again, but I hoped it would give us both closure.

I was quickly out of my seat and in front of him, the emotions were too much and I couldn't control it any longer. I knelt before him, my dead heart was tearing into small pieces at the sadness he held in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Dad, I miss you too, more than you will ever know." I whispered as I stroked his arm gently. His head was immediately out of his hands, and his eyes searched my face.

"You're so cold." he gasped as he placed a hand on my cheek. His hand was so warm on my skin, that I could help the smile brewing.

"I know dad," I smiled weakly.

His eyes met mine and held them for a moment, then he lost his composure and cried. His shoulders shook with the grief he was feeling and the tears fell down his cheeks with such freedom that I felt compelled to hold him. My arms encircled his neck, I wanted to hold him tightly but my strength would hurt him so I held back and kept myself conscious of the strength I was using. His arms wrapped around me and he cried into my shoulder, it was such an honest moment that I almost fell apart. This was so much harder than I ever thought it could be, Charlie had always been so strong and tough seeing him breaking down was killing me all over again. I was stuck in his warm embrace but I feared I was making him cold, I tried to back away a little bit but he pulled me closer, it didn't seem to bother him, so I hugged him and let him cry. He finally quietened after a while but I didn't let go of him, I couldn't, I was saying goodbye and it was hurting me more than I would ever admit.

"I'm sorry, Bells." Charlie whispered into my shoulder. "I should have protected you."

"Dad, no apologies, this is hard enough without hearing you apologize for my mistakes." I said, pulling back and looking at his face, which held the pain.

"Your mistakes?"

"Yes dad, I chose to go into that forest alone, I went too far and got caught off guard, there was nothing anyone could have done. There is no fault here but my own and I need you to understand that. I can't rest until I know that you are alright."

"Oh Bells, you were here for such a short time, I should have taken better care of you. Your mother was right, I'm a lousy father, she never should have trusted me" Charlie sighed hopelessly.

"Dad, I was a seventeen year old girl, capable of looking after herself. Mom was upset, she didn't mean any of that, you should know her well enough to realize that."

Charlie picked up on the past tense and looked at me again, a fresh wave of pain creasing his brow. This time he really looked at me. He gave me a small smile through his tears, and I smiled back gently.

"You make a beautiful angel." he grinned hopelessly.

I laughed quietly and kissed his forehead. I had never expected words like that to come from him, he wasn't particularly religious and I had never heard him refer to any type of spirituality, this was something new, something that made me realize how little time I'd had with him.

"Bells, I have so much to tell you. . . I . . . well, I, em, I . . ."

"I know dad," I laughed at his stuttering. "This baby will be so lucky to have you as a father, I couldn't be happier for you."

Charlie smiled at me, but I could see the pain playing behind his eyes. "I wish I'd had that opportunity with you, I never saw you enough, I should have fought for more time with you, instead of agreeing to two weeks in the summer, I will always regret not spending enough time with you Bella, you turned out to be a wonderful young woman."

I smiled at him happily, I hated that he hurt so badly, but I couldn't help being happy that he'd wanted to spend more time with me.

"Bella, Sheila's coming downstairs." I heard Edward's voice reach me, I knew I would be the only one to hear it.

I hated to leave so soon, I had so much I wanted to say, I wanted to bask in open honesty we had with one another in this moment. I could feel the ripping in my chest as I prepared to say goodbye. This would be the last time he saw me, but I promised myself I would check on him in the future.

"Dad, I have to go, but I love you, and I want you to know that I'm happy for you and you have no reason to worry about me, I'm being taken care of where I am, and I will be happy there knowing that you are doing well and living your life as happily as you can."

"I love you too, Bells, I will never stop missing you, but I will hold this moment in my heart for the rest of my life."

I stood up from the floor and kissed my father on the forehead before taking off he closed his eyes as if trying to memorize the moment.

His words had touched me more than I thought they could and I was steadily losing control of my emotions. I could hear Sheila on the stairs. She was walking slowly because of the baby she was carrying. I backed away from Charlie, taking one last look before fleeing.

As I disappeared through the front door I thought of Charlie with everything I had, and begged him to remember it as a dream. I didn't want to change a moment other than that I was really there, I hoped he would hold onto it and realize I was okay.

I was back in the car in seconds and I let myself fall apart in Edward's arms as my father retold his dream to Sheila. My entire frame shook violently with the sobs I had been holding back, I couldn't stop them, they came in waves that drowned me in sorrow. I had been able to say goodbye, and it hurt like hell, but it gave me a sense of closure. I knew Charlie would be okay, he would live knowing that I was at peace.

Edward held me tightly, letting me sob tearlessly into him, he was supportive in every way I needed him to be, he never said a word, he just stroked my hair gently, letting me get the emotions out of my system.

We left just before dawn, Charlie and Sheila had spent most of the night dissecting the dream, and what it had meant. Charlie was happy, Sheila had encouraged him to believe that it was my way of saying goodbye, and that the dream was symbolic. She was quirky, I knew that I would have liked her if I'd ever had the chance to meet her, and from the way she spoke to Charlie it was evident she loved him, and her thoughts had confirmed her words. Edward had explained her thoughts as they came to her, she was happy he'd had the dream, in her words, it had given him the closure he'd so desperately needed.

Charlie had always been so factual and literal. He was the police chief, I had been afraid that he would never have believed what he was seeing, but it seemed like my death had left him a little broken. This seemed to have given him enough of an open mind to see the dream for what it was. I would be thankful to Sheila for the rest of eternity. She was helping him through this, listening to every word he said and reassuring him that it was normal, that he should carry it with him as a final memory of me.

The drive back to the Cullen's house was in complete silence, but it was comfortable. Edward had left me alone with my thoughts. I was calm now, and I was feeling more relaxed than I had been since I had decided to see Charlie, there was a tranquility surrounding me, one I hoped would be complete as soon as I'd had the chance to say goodbye to Renee. Before I could do that, however, I had to deal with James and Victoria.

The house was quiet when we made our way inside. Carlisle was on the night shift so Esme was more than likely busying herself finding a house for us to move into. Jasper and Alice had been going hunting and Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere to be found.

I was immediately nervous at the lack of company, my mind, still reeling with thoughts of Charlie began hitting the worst case scenarios.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was clear next to me and I let my eyes wander to him, trying to hide the panic. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing really," I lied.

"Bella," Edward picked up my hands and pulled me to him. "Talk to me, please."

"It's just a little unnerving coming back to an empty house, not to mention the fact that we left the phone here, I just panicked."

Edward laughed and kissed me on the forehead, "It's not empty, believe me, I'm hearing thoughts I'm trying hard to block out."

I brought my lips together to stop myself from laughing but I knew that my eyes were giving me away. Edward's eyes reflected his own smile.

"You want to get out of here?" he almost begged.

I nodded, I knew where we would go, and it was somewhere I wanted to be. It would help me clear my head. Edward picked up his cell phone before we left, he'd left it behind when we headed for Charlie's, I hadn't planned on stopping so we'd expected to be home quickly, we rarely left the house without it in case Alice saw something.

"Ready?" he asked, picking up my hand.

I nodded and stepped out of the house, we ran side by side in silence, holding hands, as we made our way swiftly through the trees. We arrived at the meadow quickly, the sky was lightening as we crossed through the low hanging branches into the beautiful patch of grass. It looked breathtaking in the light of dawn.

"I'm going to miss this." I sighed as I sat down amongst the tall blades of grass surrounding me.

Edward sat next to me and watched as I laid on my back looking up at the cloudy sky.

"We'll find something like it."

"Anywhere is fine as long as you're with me."

Edward chuckled at my response. I felt his fingers as they gently brushed loose strands of hair from my face. I closed my eyes at his gentle touch. It was peaceful just being so close to Edward, our bond to one another was so strong that I couldn't imagine my life without him, every time he touched me, my skin tingled, I hadn't lied to Charlie, I was happy, as long as I knew he'd be okay, and I had Edward by my side, I was fine. I would feel even better when I was able to say goodbye to Renee, but I was still worried about James and the others.

"Wanna talk about it?" Edward's soft velvet voice penetrated my thoughts.

"I was just thinking about how happy I am now, being with you, knowing Charlie will be alright. I'm just worried about Renee being with James and the others."

I felt Edward's body lay next to mine in the grass, I opened my eyes and looked up into his handsome face. He seemed as happy as I was, and more content that I could possibly imagine.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

He looked at me again, appraising my mood.

"You, it's always you. I hate that you have to go through this, I hate that this happened to you, but I can't help but be happy you're in my life. I love you more than I thought was possible. I have been alone for so long, and I never thought I needed anyone else, I thought I was content. Then I met you and I was so confused about how I felt I ran, it's one of the worst mistakes I've ever made, I could have protected you, but my blood lust was as strong as my draw to you, I was afraid I would hurt you, I thought by leaving I was protecting you, but you ended up here all the same."

"Edward," I said, my eyes connecting with his. "You saved me, right here, now. I feel whole with you, like I've been connected with another part of myself, we were meant to be together. I have to believe that, I don't think it would have mattered which direction we would have taken. The only thing that matters to me is you."

Edward's eyes closed and he drew in a long breath, I lay quietly watching him, his features were smooth and emotionless as he processed my words.

"Bella," his eyes flickered open.

I cut him off before he could say something, that would ultimately change nothing.

"Edward, the past is just that, the past, there is no changing it, so there's not point in thinking about what could have changed, or what could have been done differently. We are here, now, and I intend to enjoy it, every bit of it, you are my present and my future, and it's all I want to see."

Edward's lips came crashing down on mine without warning and my body responded immediately, I couldn't get enough of him, he was like a drug to me, addictive in every sense, my body arched towards him as our kiss became more passionate, I was so lost in the moment I couldn't think, I couldn't move, I just wanted Edward, I melted into him.

"Well, well, isn't this sweet." I froze at the voice, Edward's body became rigid against mine, I knew the voice all too well, it made my skin crawl.

It was James.

A/N: Dun Dun Dun . . . I apologize for not uploading Sat and Sun . . . I had a date :0)

Sorry if this was depressing but I felt the need for Bella to say goodbye, I knew it would be painful and I hope I wrote it well enough to convey the emotions they were feeling, I figured Charlie may fall for it seeing as how distraught he was at losing Bella. I thought I would surprise them with James, all will become clear in the next chapter I promise . . . I guess that's a redundant comment seeing as thought it's a story and that would be the progression of it!

Thank you so much for the alerts and Faves, and thank you to the REVIEWERS . . . YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME, I LOVE HEARING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY AND YOU TOTALLY ROCK!

-BIG HUGZ-L-