5am

Santana, who didn't sleep much, if at all that night, finally got out of bed and took a long scorching hot shower, where she sang quietly to herself the entire time. She got dressed in a pair of yoga pants, a tank top, sneakers and grabbed a thin zip up hoodie to put on as well. She pulled her wet hair into a bun and sat on the bed. She noticed her hand was shaking slightly so she went to the bathroom and looked through Brittany's medicine cabinet for her anxiety pills. She sighed as she popped a pill in her mouth and quickly put the rest back in the cabinet. She then stared at herself in the mirror while she sang softy to herself.

Somebody said every day, was gon' be sunny skies,
Only Marvin Gaye and lingerie, I guess somebody lied
We started discussin' it to fightin' then "Don't touch me, please."
Then it's "Let's stop the madness, just come lay with me."
And truth be told I'm wavin' my flag before it goes bad yeah yeah
'Cause we made it this far on for better or worse
I wanna feel it even if it hurts
If I gotta cry to get to the other side, let's go 'cause we're gon' survive oh

"I'm tired of always waving the white flag first, I wasn't wrong this time." She mumbled to herself.

Sometimes you're my general, you quarterback all these plays
Sometimes you're my enemy and I'm throwin' grenades
We'll just be chillin' and laughin', I'm layin' on your chest
Don't know what happened 'cause things just went left
But here we go back down that road
That's just the way that it goes
'Cause we made it this far on for better or worse
I wanna feel it even if it hurts
If I gotta cry to get to the other side, as long as you're there I'll survive oh

"Fuckin love and war." Santana left the bathroom and grabbed her script, ipod, and r laptop slipping them in her messenger bag to take to set with her. She then scribbled out a note for Brittany, keeping her promise, to always let her know when she takes one, and left it on the pillow.

She walked past Mackenzie's room and paused, debating going in or at least peaking in, but decided against it, and continued her way down to the kitchen. She made herself a cup of coffee and grabbed a granola bar from the pantry, tossing it in her bag as well. She pulled out Brittany's pills and began to section them out for her and set the small plastic cup on the counter and quietly left the house through the garage.

She hopped in her truck, which she hadn't drove in weeks, and backed out quickly before speeding down the street. She drove a couple of blocks and pulled into the familiar driveway and parked. She made her way to the door and rang the door twice quickly. Jumping back in surprise when the door swung open almost immediately.

"Santana, it's 5am." Quinn stated. "What are you doing here so early, and whoa you look like shit, have you slept?"

"Brittany called me a bitch." Santana shrugged and walked past Quinn into the house. "I couldn't sleep since she went to sleep with Mackenzie, so I just need to lie down for an hour or so before I go to set so the makeup artist doesn't have to work like hell to make me look like a functioning member of society."

"Oh…" Quinn replied. "Do you want to talk?"

"No, I just want to lie down." Santana shook her head and walked upstairs to the guest room, closing the room right away behind her. She kicked her shoes off and set the alarm on her phone before lying down and staring at the ceiling while she waited for her anxiety pill to kick it and relax her enough to sleep.

Madison jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom quickly just making it to the toilet in time, Noah felt her get out of bed and grabbed the bottle of ginger ale that he brought upstairs for her last night, and followed her to the bathroom. He sat on the floor behind her and rubbed her back while she continued to vomit. When she was finished and rested her head on her arm, across the toilet., Noah leaned forward and flushed the toilet before he pulled her back into his strong arms, hugging her.

"Here Maddie." He said hoarsely.

Madison relaxed in his embrace and took a few sips before sighing and closing her eyes. She felt him put his hand on her stomach and start to rub slowly. "I never had any intentions of getting an abortion." She whispered while opening her eyes and locking them with his. "Your mom just took me off guard, I was sick that whole day, the day before you were out of town, and I was juggling both of the kids, while looking for the nearest bathroom all day, it was a lot, so when she asked if I was pregnant and said congrats, at that time it didn't feel like much of a joy."

Noah stared at her but let her explain, while still rubbing her stomach.

"When I said I didn't want know if I wanted to keep the baby, it was stupid, it was a knee jerk reaction to my stomach muscles aching from being overworked, from just a lot of stuff. You know me Noah, you know I wouldn't do something malicious like that behind your back, tell me you know that about me." Madison requested.

Noah exhaled and kissed her on the temple. "I know that the woman I married wouldn't go behind my back and have an abortion, I know that, baby." He assured her while stilling his hand and instead hugging her tightly as she took a few more sips of the soda and turned so she could rest her head in the crook of his neck. "But you were so excited you flew across the country to Miami, where I was, to tell me about being pregnant with Nicholas, you threw a party to tell me about being pregnant with Peyton, and this time, you hid it from me. Why?"

"I will admit I'm not as happy this time, but it's because for a promotion at work, I travel all the time between here, Longon, Korea, and Madrid for work, what about my job?" She asked as a tear slid. "I sound like a fuckin horrible mother now. I wasn't hiding it from you, I planned to tell you last night after dinner with your moms but…you know."

Noah wiped her tear away with this thumb. "No you don't, and you are no where near a terrible mother. Your company knows how much of an asset you are to them, they would never get rid of you or sideline you from your position or promotion. I mean you can't travel as much and at all in your third trimester, no flying, but you can do Skype meetings and just online shop." He added with a smirk.

"Oh shut up." Madison laughed through a sniffle. "I don't always shop when I'm overseas."

"Your closet may think differently." Noah winked. "If you aren't really excited and don't want the baby then..."

"We are keeping the baby, and I am excited, I was just sidelined and not thinking clearly." Madison said quickly.

"Good." Noah smiled before kissing a trail down the side of her face. He held up the can to her mouth for her to take a few more sips, which she did and swished around in her mouth before spitting it out in the toilet. Noah then turned her around, so she was straddling him and kissed her softly. "You know when I was five I promised Manny that when I had my baby with Janet Jackson, that I would name the baby after him."

Madison wrapped her arms around Noah's neck. "We are not naming our baby after Emmanuel." Madison laughed. "Maybe Eli." She shrugged.

"Fine, but I'm sure Manny will be devastated." Noah laughed.

"He'll live." Madison rolled her eyes. "You need to talk to your moms."

Noah leaned his head back against the wall. "Let me guess, Mrs. Santana Snixx Lopez-Pierce?"

"What she did was so ridiculous, momma had no idea what was going on and it showed." Madison added. "You know, if she wasn't married and a lesbian I would think she's one of those moms that secretly wants their sons of some shit like that. You know the ones that end up on Maury and Jerry Springer, she is way too into our lives."

"I'll talk to her." Noah stated.

"Will you?" Madison asked. "You said that when we brought Nicholas home and she came over and decided the nursery wasn't clean enough and recleaned it."

"That's just her maternal instinct." He shrugged.

"Or when she paid for our honeymoon, which I really, and truly appreciate, but booked her and momma a suite next to ours." Madison rolled her eyes. "Or when…"

"I get it." Noah interrupted her. "I'll talk to her. I have a close relationship with my mom, you know that, it was just us two when I was born until I was like and four and half and momma came back into the picture, she doesn't like to share me."

"You're 25 years old." Madison raised an eyebrow.

"She loves us, a lot, and that's her way of showing it. She takes care of the family, always has, does she do it in an unconventional way at times? Yes, but I wouldn't trade her for the world." Noah retorted. "What do you want me to do? Tell her not to love me as much so you feel more comfortable?"

"That's not what I'm saying, and you know it isn't." Madison sighed. "I don't want to argue, we argued enough last night."

"Very true." Noah nodded while placing his hand on her stomach again. "So we are keeping the baby?"

"Yes." Madison nodded with a smile.

"Now that all is said and done." Noah sang.

"Our wedding song." Madison blushed. "You wrote a beautiful song."

"And even my mom did an amazing job singing it for me." Noah nodded.

"Yeah she did, even though she cried through most of the song." Madison laughed while turning to straddle Noah and beginning to rock slowly on his lap.

Noah rested his hands on her waist. "You pushing up on me like this after Brandy's wedding is probably how he or she got conceived." He grinned while kissing her on the neck.

"Well, learn to keep a shirt on so I'm not staring at your abs." She laughed while running her fingers up and down his chest and stomach.

"I love you." Noah smiled when he leaned back.

"I love you too, Noah."

"And I love you already." He added while leaning Madison back and lifting her shirt to kiss her flat stomach. "I bet it's another boy."

"Can you love me in the bedroom?" Madison smirked after kissing Noah and standing up to run in the bedroom.

"Oh yeah." Noah nodded while following his wife.

Brittany stirred and woke up when she heard Mackenzie giggling, she opened her eyes and saw the younger blonde was reading a magazine, Peyton sitting in her lap pointing out various things to her aunt. "Aren't magazines part of your punishment?" Brittany asked while propping herself up on one elbow so she could lean over and kiss her granddaughter on the cheek. Peyton smiled brightly and crawled over to Brittany, hugging her tightly. "Hi BB."

Mackenzie looked down and shook her head. "Mom said I could still read them." She replied before kissing Brittany on the forehead. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Brittany smiled.

"Are you and mom fighting?" Mackenzie then asked. "You've never slept in my bed before."

Brittany got out of bed and picked up Peyton. "Everything is fine, don't worry." She smiled while kissing Mackenzie on the cheek. "How did you sleep?" She asked Peyton while carrying her out of the room.

"Lita not in her room." Peyton stated. "I look for her but she gone."

Brittany frowned and looked at the clock in the family room as they walked through to the kitchen. "She's probably at work already." Brittany replied. "You can see her later." She set her down in a chair and yawned while pouring a bowl of cereal for her and setting it on the table. She noticed Santana set out her pills for her, like always, but didn't make her a smoothie. She looked all over the fridge but finally just decided to have a glass of orange juice instead.

"BB!" Nicholas yelled happily while running in the kitchen with Carter.

Brittany reached down and hugged her grandson before lifting him in a chair and fixing him a bowl of cereal of as well. "Are you making breakfast?" Carter asked.

"No." Brittany frowned. "Either cook it yourself or have cereal with these two. I need to get to my office at the dance studio." She told him while walking out of the kitchen. She walked in the bedroom and sighed when she saw Santana didn't make the bed or even open the blinds; a sure sign she was still upset. She saw the note she left and quickly went to the bathroom to see just how many pills she took. She nodded and exhaled in relief when she saw only one was missing before calling the Latina while placing a small checkmark on the calendar to make the date she took a pill. She called two more times, receiving no answer before finally deciding to leave a voicemail.

Hey Santana, I just saw your note that you took an anxiety pill, I just want to make sure you're okay. Please call me back.

Brittany went in the closet and saw Santana's suitcase out and open in the middle of the closet, a few random tossed items in, and frowned but simply closed it and pushed it to the side. She grabbed a pair of white ripped jeans and coral colored top to wear and set them on the bed just as her phone chimed with a text message.

FROM SANTANA: I'm fine.

Brittany could tell in the tone of her text that she was still upset so decided to let it go and tossed her phone back on the bed so she could make her way to the bathroom for a shower. She replayed the argument between them two last night over and over, along with replaying the conversation with Madison as well. She decided her reaction to Santana's ambush was justified and got out of the shower. She checked her phone again, expecting a message from the Latina, but was surprised when she didn't have a missed call or text.

"She usually apologizes by now." Brittany whispered to herself before quickly getting dressed.

8pm

Santana, who managed to avoid Brittany the entire day, was in her studio, where she came straight after work. She was sitting at the keyboard playing around with some melodies when the lyrics started to easily come to her and she quickly turned on the microphone to record herself.

Wait a minute baby, going too fast
Imma turn back, oh
Wait a minute baby, going too fast
Imma turn back

Don't even know what we're fighting for
But, damn, I need a minute, so baby keep your distance
Heard it all, so Imma just go
Don't bother waiting up, I just need some time alone

Damn, where the hell are my keys
I just wanna leave,
Get in my car, and Imma just drive,
All night
Turn off my phone, radio on, and drive
So I'm just

She took a few notes and continued to sing.

Speeding down the road, and my head out of control
'Cause I'm thinking about you all the way home
Got a long way to ride and I can't even deny
I've been thinking about you all the way home

She stopped singing and went to play what she just recorded when Noah walked in the studio. "We need to talk mom."

Santana sighed and motioned for him to sit down.

"I'm going to be as respectful as possible." Noah stated as Santana raised her eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest as she nodded for him to talk. "What happened with Madison last night can't happen again." He started under the intense eyes of his mother. "I'm a grown man and married with a family of my mom, and they way you attacked her wasn't cool. She doesn't want an abortion, she said she never wanted one, she was stressed and sick and just blurted it out. since we really didn't plan this one. You cornering her and then dragging momma into and blindsiding her was crazy mom. Come on now."

Santana cleared her throat. "The night you were conceived Richard Garcia forced his way into my apartment and forced his fuckin penis into me, over and over again." She said lowly. "I cried silent tears because he was too big for me to push off. I felt like a piece of my soul was taken away that night, I was embarrassed, ashamed, confused, scared. I felt worthless, belittled, and not even like a person when he was done." She added. "I found out I was pregnant alone in a bathroom by myself, the first thought I had was I hope I'm a good mother to whoever was growing inside of me. I prayed right in that moment for God to change my selfish and mean ways so my baby would still be pure and innocent and loving. It never crossed my mind that I didn't want my baby, even though you were unexpected and completely unplanned. Not once did I ever even brief think of getting rid of you. Never!" She snapped. "I was scared shitless because I knew I had to do it alone. Babies come for a reason, whether we are prepared or want them. I watched your mother bleed almost to death from a miscarriage, while I carried her in my arms to the truck and drove her to the hospital. I sat up and listen to her cry for nights on end for the baby she lost, the baby we didn't get to meet." She snapped. "So Madison whining when she has a husband, a set of parents, you have have a set of parents, and a grandmother who are all willing to help her is bullshit and ridiculous."

"Mom." Noah sighed.

"I'm tired of always being the punching bag in this family, hell in life, whether from you kids, Brittany, or Quinn. If Madison's feelings are hurt, tell her to be a woman and come talk to me about it and not send you" She added. "Are you here to work on this song with me or do you need to leave?"

"So you aren't going to apologize for the fight you caused between us? Mackenzie texted me and said momma slept with her last night. You two have never slept apart, so I'm assuming she's mad at you too."

"You are my child, you don't get to question my marriage or anything that goes on with me and your mother. I'll talk to Mackenzie about keeping what goes on in this house, in this house." She added while going back to playing on the keyboard.

Noah stared at her in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Noah, I'm sorry you and Madison fought last night, I really am, but I'm not sorry for what I did or said." Santana replied while looking up at him.

Noah nodded and turned to leave the studio.

Santana sighed and started singing the song again from the top.

Wait a minute baby, going too fast
Imma turn back, oh
Wait a minute baby, going too fast
Imma turn back

Don't even know what we're fighting for
But, damn, I need a minute, so baby keep your distance
Heard it all, so Imma just go
Don't bother waiting up, I just need some time alone

"Fuck this." She groaned before going to lie on the couch instead. She pulled out her phone and redownloaded the Twitter app to her phone.

SantanaLP - Working on an amazing song but I can't focus...how about a little Q&A?

11pm

"Are we going to talk at all today?" Brittany asked Santana when she went to the closet where she was.

"I tried to talk last night." Santana shrugged. "I wanted to talk, but for the first time in our twenty years, well almost twenty years of marriage you didn't get in bed with me. That's never happened before. We've gone to bed mad at each other, sleeping on opposite ends of the bed, not cuddling, but I've never, ever, left the room to sleep somewhere else, and neither have you. That was low."

Brittany exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry, I really am, Santana." She bent down so she was level with her wife and could look in her eyes. "That was wrong of me, and I promise to never do that again. I knew it would hurt you but in that moment, and only in that moment I didn't care, but when I woke up and I wasn't next to you I didn't feel right." She continued. "I'm sorry."

Santana nodded. "Thanks."

Brittany leaned forward and kissed her softly and briefly on the lips. "Really sorry, baby." She ran her fingers through Santana's hair before standing back up again.

"Brittany you called me a bitch." Santana said softly avoiding eye contract with her wife. "You were the one person who's never said that to me, the only person. Hell, I'm sure the kids have even mumbled it about me once or twice. I'm positive Carter has."

"Santana, I didn't call you a bitch. I said this is why people call you a bitch." Brittany stated.

"Semantics." Santana shrugged while putting more clothes in her suitcase.

"You don't think what you did was inappropriate?" Brittany asked while leaning against the door frame of the closet.

"No." Santana whispered while zipping up her suitcase and standing up. "I stand by everything I said last night, I love my family more than anything and each and every one of you knows this. But I feel so attacked right now, and it's not fair."

"You attacked Madison last night." Brittany told her. "Why aren't you seeing what you did wrong?"

"Just because you think what I did was wrong, doesn't mean I have to." Santana stated while carrying the suitcase to the bed. "I did what I did out of love, and it hurts that you couldn't have my back on that."

"Santana, I support you and always have your back, you know that." Brittany replied. "Part of supporting you and having your back is helping you realize when you've fucked up too."

"I didn't fuck up." Santana snapped. "I did what I did because, you know what, fuck it. I can't convince anyone what I felt or why I did it. Noah thinks I'm too in his marriage, Ashton has always said I interfere too much in his life, Carter blocks me out of his life for the most part, and Mackenzie will probably do the same too. I love hard, the kids are half of my heart, and you have the other part, but honestly sometimes it feels like I'm just a small portion of everyone elses."

"Sanny."

"Do I smother the kids? Maybe. Do I go above and beyond for you and make it excessive somedays? Yes. Do I honestly think of Hannah as one of our kids, which is why I do so much for her? Yes." She said as tears pooled in her eyes. "If there's one thing anyone can say about me, it's that I love my family unconditionally and with every drop of my being. If you or the kids think I love too hard, I don't know what to do about that. If there is anything you can put on my damn tombstone when I die, it's that I loved my fuckin family."

"Come here." Brittany sighed while wrapping her arms around Santana. "Calm down, baby." She said softly while rubbing her back. "Take a deep breath."

"I'm going to stay a few extra days in New York after my photoshoot tomorrow, I just need to get away for a little bit. I'm not checking out on our marriage, I'm not leaving you, I don't want a divorce or a separation. I don't want either one of us to move out or to sleep in separate rooms, I just need a little me time." She clarified while breaking the embrace with Brittany and wiping her eyes.. "If that's not okay, please tell me now, so we can avoid an argument when I get back."

Brittany stared deep in Santana's eyes and nodded. "I would ather you take some time to relax and calm yourself than see you in the hospital because your anxiety is through the roof."

"You're positive you don't care?" Santana asked again.

Brittany nodded. "Yes. I love you."

Santana smiled softly. "I know, I love you too." She whispered before kissing Brittany gently on the lips.

"Can I hold you tonight?" Brittany asked. "Considering I won't see my wife for a few days?"

Santana nodded and slid her suitcase to the floor before getting in bed, Brittany crawled in bed behind her and wiggled to get closer to her, resting her arm around her waist. She kissed Santana on the back of the neck before finally closing her eyes when she felt Santana fall asleep rather quickly.

4pm LA

"Sweet, so since mom's gone, you all know the punishment is basically off." Carter smirked. "Where do you think she put our phones?" He asked Ashton and Mackenzie, who were sitting at the kitchen table.

"They are in the safe." Brittany said while walking in the kitchen. "Punishments are not off just because your mom is in New York for work." She added. "She didn't give you this punishment by herself, and she won't be the only one enforcing it either."

"Why is she staying for so long?" Mackenzie asked.

"Your mom's anxiety is a little heightened right now." Brittany said while hopping on the kitchen counter. "So she needs a little time to herself."

"Is it because of the party?" Ashton asked. "We didn't mean to make both of you sick."

"Should she be alone on the other side of the country is her anxiety is raised?" Carter asked quickly.

Brittany saw the look of worry on her kids faces and smiled. "Your mom feels a little unappreciated in this house, and I do think the party has played a big part in that. She gave you all one rule, well two rules, for the weekend. Don't have a party and don't drive her car. Carter, I know you drove the Porsche, so I'm adding another month of taking your car away. I told your mother this morning before she left, and I told her I would handle your punishment."

"Another month?" Carter groaned.

"On the drive home from the airport earlier I realized that your mom is right, you three don't show us the proper respect we deserve, and she deserves. You guys are spoiled, and I aided in that by protecting you from some punishments but that all changes. Finish the lists of things your mom wants done around the house and then we are going to Grammy's house, so you can start there. tomorrow morning" Brittany smiled while hopping off the counter. "If I hear any complaining I'll extend your punishments again. Got it?" She smiled and waitedg for them to nod before leaving the kitchen.

"Isn't it weird how she can yell without yelling?" Carter asked.

"It just means we are really in trouble." Mackenzie groaned while standing up and heading to finish more laundry.

10pm NY

Santana finally woke up from the long nap she took after she landed and checked into her hotel. She saw Brittany texted her and quickly replied back to her, letting her she was ok, and that she was just napping earlier. She stretched before hopping out of bed and walking to the living portion of her suite in only her tank top and boy shorts she was wearing to order room service, a bottle of vodka, and a pitcher of lemonade. She was checking her email when she decided to log on Twitter, she saw various pictures of her, taken by fans, on the plane, in the airport, and even as she walked in to the hotel. She then laughed when she Rihanna's tweet.

Rihanna - So SantanaLP is in NY and I have to hear about it from Twitter...bullshit. We need drinks bitch.

Santana laughed and sent out a tweet of her own.

SantanaLP - Drinks tomorrow at 7pm, my treat. Come thirsty. :) Rihanna.

She got comfortable on the couch and laughed again as her fans went crazy with RTing their tweets and even a few playfully threatening to tell Brittany she was on Twitter again.

Rihanna - It's a date, come ready to party. Is BrittanyLP with you?

SantanaLP - Flying solo this trip :(

Rihanna - Too bad, see you tomorrow babe.

Santana sat back and read her mentions before sending out her next tweet.

SantanaLP - I want to meet some fans tomorrow, the first 10 New Yorkers to tweet me will have lunch with me.

Santana then texted Emily, who was in a hotel room on a different floor from her to make sure the Twitter accounts were actually active and let her know so she could tweet them personally. She then instructed Emily to call a restaurant and book a small banquet room for her.

She was reading her TL, laughing while RTing some fans when room service knocked on the door. She grabbed a robe and slipped it on before opening the door and handing the bellhop a handsome tip. She sat back on her couch and mixed up a drink while eating her burger and watching TV.

Thoughts?