thanks for the reviews! heres the next chapter as promised. :) Some of your queshtions will be answered, but why kim is actually cutting is up next.

"Kim…" Jacks voice was angry and sad and disappointed all in one. "What. The. hell?"

"I-I just fell when we we're at the, um skating... in the park. It's nothing."

"Don't you lie to me, Kim!" Jack yelled, shaking my fist. He never yelled at me. "I'm not an idiot." It suddenly dawned on me that I couldn't squeeze my way out of this one; Jack knew and there was no going back.

"I don't do it anymore! I swear, those scars are at least a month old." I said, starting to sniffle.

"I don't care," Jack said his voice low and dangerous. "I don't care how long ago it was. What could have possibly brought you to this, Kim? Why didn't you tell me?" he growled. I tried to keep it together but I couldn't.

I was balling now, but he didn't pull me into his chest. He looked like he was in pain, like he felt it was his fault for this happening to me. "I'm so sorry," I sniffled, voice not even a whisper. "I didn't mean to- I just, I just can't stop. Not until I'm good enough." I said, longing for him to pull me into his arms and tell me he would help. That he didn't judge me for doing this to myself.

Suddenly Jack got up and went into my bathroom- looking through my stuff. Pushing makeup around and rummaging in cabinets. "What are you doing?" I sniffled, wiping my nose. He didn't answer, but went back to looking for something. He ruffled through drawers, throwing razors on the floor and making a big mess. He was probably going to confiscate them. Then he pulled something out from the very back of my cabinet.

"What is this?" Jack asked, pulling out an orange pill bottle. My face paled, I had totally forgotten I kept those in there. I didn't take them that often, really. My mouth opened to say something, but I couldn't formulate the words.

"You don't take these do you?" My silence was enough to answer his question. Now it was his turn to put on a pale face. "Holy crap, Kim. What are you doing to yourself?" he said, his voice cracking.

Killing myself. Would be the honest opinion, but one look of Jack brewers face and I felt myself crumbling like the walls of Jericho.

And then I broke. The emotions, the hurt, just everything came flooding back in. everything I had pushed away, everything I had avoided.

Everything.

And I was on my knees, face in my hands. This was all just too much. I couldn't- I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I was shattered, broken, unfixable. I can't handle this. all of it- I can't do it anymore. The pressure and anxiety and sadness. Now he knew about it to- I knew what came next, the judging. And then the fixing. He should know he can't fix me, so many people have tried and failed. I really am unfixable and without anyone to love, I'm useless.

I glance up and see that Jack is nowhere in sight. Did he really leave me here? I can't stop crying now, I promised myself I was done with all of this- but all I really did was hold in all of the pain and emotions- all the things waiting to burst out. I want out- out of this misery and depression. I want out of this world. I want out of this life. I just- I can't do it. Not anymore.

"Shh…. Okay, it's okay Kim." Jack says crouching down and hugging me from behind.

"No! no, no, no…" I cried hysterically, clawing the carpet and running my hands rapidly through my hair until Jack had to hold my arms in his, tightening our hug. "I can't do this!" I screamed. "I can't- I can't…." I desperately try to fight my way out of his grasp.

"Kim shh… okay, okay… it's alright." Jack soothed gently rocking us back and forth until I was just silently crying in his arms.

I woke up the next morning in my bed, Jack beside me with his arms wrapped tight around me. My eyes feel puffy, a result of all the hysterical crying from last night.

I shifted a little bit and realized my hands were shaking, and I then I thought of Jack, and how he knew everything now and how I lied to him. And then I felt a lump grow in my throat, and I was crying again. I brought my hands up to my face, trying to muffle my sobs and desperately trying to compose myself, but I felt this heaviness in my chest like the world was falling down on me.

"Hey…" Jack said, waking up as my body was racked with another set of sobs.

"I'm sorry, Jack." I heaved. "I know that you're angry."

He kissed my head gently. "I want you to tell me everything. I want to be the person you call in the middle of the night to cry with. I want to be there for you."

"Don't be mad with me, Jack." I panted. "I can't take it."

"I'm not." He said, gently rubbing my arm. "I'm worried."

"I don't know what to do with myself, Jack."

"Honestly Kim, have you really wanted to- kill yourself?" he says the last part in a whisper.

"Yes." I say quietly, not having enough courage to look at him. "For a while now."

"So then… why haven't you?"

I really didn't want to answer that. Actually, it's not that I didn't want to answer him so much as I didn't want to talk about this. or even acknowledge that last night happened.

"Kim, please, just let me help you. Be honest with me."

"Well, first, you be honest with me." I say quietly. "What do you think of me now?"

"I think that I hate seeing you unhappy, and obviously, you haven't been happy in a while." He says, shifting his arms to push a strand of hair out of my face. "I think that I can't be happy unless you're happy. And I think that I love you, even with all your faults, I love you." He breathes out, and I can feel myself smiling on the inside. "Your turn," he tells me. "How come you haven't… done it?"

I take a deep breath and keep my eyes plastered on our intertwined hands, not daring to meet his eyes. "Every time I come close to actually doing it, I think back on all the tiny good things I have. Really there's only one thing keeping me going, keeping me sane." Jack looks so hurt to be talking about this, but he's keeping on a strong face for me.

"What's keeping you going Kim?" He says soothingly.

I pull a tight smile, and finally gather enough courage to look at him.

"You."

awwww :) sappy and sweet. well, now we know why Kim is still alive- but why don't we hear about why she started cutting in the first place? That traumatic event is next. REVIEWWW im trying to update everyday. :)