Eyes of Truth

by starazure

Kenshin spared the life of Soujiro, the philosophical reason being that people are weak, and it is strength that can be found in the truth of what they make of their own lives. Soujiro, in the midst of his ten year wandering, goes back to Tokyo to find him, unbeknownst to him as to the real reason why he is desperate to seek out Kenshin. Yaoi, slash, lemon, non-canon.

12. Flirting With Danger

Author's note: Wow guys, thanks so much for the four new reviews! I was traveling from Europe to the United States and felt a little busy during that time, but I am comfortable here at my old house and can now update. I have a feeling you will all like this new update... that, or hate Soujiro even more, haha! Oh my gosh, you guys, so like, I am someone who becomes super obsessed once I get into something, right? So, I've been searching endlessly for any tiny scraps of even a hint of KenJiro yaoi within the depths of the internet, and guess what I found? I found not one, but TWO videos on YouTube dedicated to our favorite couple. One is called "Never Leave: Kenshin/Sojiro" by reluctantlydancing. This was a cute video and it made me feel so bad for Soujiro in the video. The other one, though, became my fast favorite, and it's called "Kenshin and Soujiro - Forever or Never" by Ewgescha. Really loved the way the person made it looked like Soujiro became so aroused so quickly by seeing Kenshin the first time there, it was amazing! I could feel the strong attraction oozing out of Soujiro in the video, and it was awesome, haha! :P So now, that video is officially my unofficial 'promo video' of this fanfic, because even the lyrics make so much sense with what's been going on with my story. Anyway, if I find anything else, I'll let you guys now in the next updates.

Cannibal Corncob: I am laughing and rolling over your review. Yes, poor little Soujiro, his heart can't take it anymore. Love really does kill! And yes, partly because Kenshin wanted to see if Soujiro was being genuine, and the other half was to avenge his wife's honor. But it wasn't done out of purely malicious reasons, you know? He really does care for Soujiro a lot, so don't worry! ;)

Chimerical: Yeah, I think us fans do wonder from time to time as to what would happen if it was Kenshin who found Soujiro all those years ago instead of Shishio. The show would have turned out very differently, of course, and Soujiro wouldn't have never learned the Shukuchi or anything like that. Everything happens for a reason, in the end. And your welcome! Again, so sorry about your eyes, but rest assured that Soujiro is a major cutie and a total delicious twink, wrapped up for Kenshin to consume... oh my god, get our heads out of the gutters, dammit, ahhh!

I8Pi: Yeah, the character design and animation in that OVA won my heart over. He was like, a real person there, it's creepy. But I loved it a lot. My heart is still very loyal to the doe eyed Anime show adaption because, I don't know, it's just so cute to see him all confused and oro like, haha!

Demon Spawn: Well, hello there, newcomer! Enjoy your stay here in the tenth level of hell. ;P You know, that's a great question! If this story becomes a success, I can create another KenJiro yaoi, whether it's a smutty one shot, or a whole 'nother series. What do you guys think?

Without further ado, here is chapter 11, flirting with danger! Enjoy!

Scene XI: Flirting With Danger

"Someone, help me!"

The sound of thunder clapping and cackling in the air has my hands rushing up to cover my ears, burying myself into a fetal position to protect myself. The rain washes over my hair and body, the smell of wet grass and trees and tears overloading my senses, and all the while I am screaming for help. Help me. Help this poor child. He didn't know any better. He didn't do anything wrong. He just wanted to be loved. Why was that so difficult? Why couldn't anybody see the pain he was going through? Why didn't anybody stopped them from beating him? Why? Is the world truly that cold and heartless? Are saints and spirits truly don't exist and he is left all alone in the world? Does anybody even care about him?

"Please.." I cough up blood, trying to shield my eyes from the rain coming into my eyelashes and I start to sob, "Somebody.. help.."

I don't know what happened. One minute, I was standing in front of my family and they started to beat me. They couldn't tell me why they did that. They just picked up their weapons and started whacking me, until I was spewing out blood from my mouth and I almost couldn't breathe from the kicks they would inflict upon my ribs. Why? What did I do to deserve this monstrosity? I shiver as the cold water slides across my forehead and my arms, and I wish I could just die at this very moment. I remember running from my family and hiding somewhere, and then I heard a confrontation. Somebody told them to stop whatever it is that they were doing, and I heard a lot of commotion. It became very quiet after that. Then I was running out of that backyard and onto the street next to the dojo, and I tripped and fall right on my face, crying and wondering what's even happening. I wonder if they got assassinated? Am I going to be next? I'm too young to die. I don't want to disappear.

"Please, don't hurt me.. please.." I tremble fiercely once the temperature drops, "I want to.. I want to.."

"It will be alright." A gentle voice reaches my cold ears and I snap out of my deliriousness, prompting me to open my eyes and cautiously look up to see an adolescent male crouching over me. He has these very kind eyes in a shade almost unheard of, and long red hair tied up in a bantu knot ponytail. I see from here, though distant and faintly, a cross shaped scar on the side of his face, but it doesn't seem to frighten me at all. It actually adds a certain charm to his overall demeanor, and it's his smile that helped me relax almost immediately. He reaches out to open the palm of his hand towards me, and I look down at it with perplexity, before I gaze back up into his eyes.

"Don't worry. You're safe now." He nods, and I blink once before I feel confident enough to place my small hand into his tender grasp.

"Where are my family?" I ask him weakly, the rain falling on us lighter now than before.

"I told them to leave you alone. They will come back soon. I am wondering if you would like to come with me instead," His eyes smile deeper, "You will never feel pain ever again. I promise."

"You.. you promise?"

"I do."

I cautiously get up from my position in order to let him embrace me, the sound of the rain diminishing by the second, and all that's left is the sound of an early spring morning, with birds singing and gentle winds passing us by. The entire area disappears into a room of white light, and it feels as if the sun has come back from the shadows to grace us with its warmth. I look up to giggle at my new friend, him also laughing so sweetly at my innocence. Who is he? I've never seen him before, but somehow, his soul feels so familiar to me, like a long forgotten song in someone else's dream. He dips his chin in order to smile again at me, and he places his hands on my slim shoulders to talk once more, "Come with me, Soujiro. You will never have to live in fear again."

I knew I had to ask.

"Mister.. what is your name?"

"Himura. I am Kenshin Himura."

"Kenshin.. Thank you. For helping me. I think I'm going to like you a lot."

"That's good. I already like you too."

He carries me into his arms and off we went down a road to whatever life will lead us, knowing that I will always be safe with my new friend Kenshin Himura. Where have I heard this name before? Where have I smelled his scent before? I guess it doesn't matter. My eyes flutter close and I let my weary head rest on the crane of his neck, and I decide to trust him with my life forever from this day forward. From here, I can hear him humming a song so general and yet native to me. Kenshin Himura. Who are you and how did you found me? Is this a miracle? Are you my prophet? Are you my saint? I don't think it matters. But you are my miracle. My angel.

Kenshin.. Himura..

.

.

.

My eyes slide open by the morning light and I stretch on my futon with a happy sigh. That was a very pleasant dream, leaving my heart and my entire body warm and buzzing with joy. I rub my eyes and couldn't help but smile immediately at the sound of footsteps walking all around the dojo, knowing that one pair belongs to a man that makes me come alive just by being next to him. I'm so happy, I swear I could die. I'm relieved that our little tiff is over and we can be good friends again, and I promise to never put our bond into jeopardy again. It's just not worth it, even if he turns on certain things inside myself that is so confusing and so very soul consuming. Lust has no place in a real friendship and I'm realizing this now. I need to get over this silly crush I have over him and just see this for what it is: Me learning his philosophical teachings and then going on ahead to implement these lessons out into the real world by myself. That's why I'm here, isn't it?

Yes. That's right. That's why I am here. To learn. Not to mess around. I get up from my futon to go on my usual business and then head down to eat breakfast. After all of that was done, Kenshin motions me with his finger in the hallway so that I can come over to talk to him. I know what I've said before, but god, I can't help but notice how devastatingly handsome he is. It's so strange to admit this, but I wish I could be a girl if it meant he could notice me the way I notice him. Even if by passing. Even if for just one night. Even if it's for the rest of our lives. I'll take anything. Snapping those silly thoughts from out of my head, I bow to him and he does the same, "Are we doing any training today, Kenshin?"

"Tomorrow, if that's okay with you. I need to go out to get some food for tonight's dinner and we have ran out of tofu. Would you like to come along with me?"

My heart skips a beat and I smile wider than I should, "Of course."

He chuckles and wraps his arm around my neck in a playful manner and we stumble out of that dojo in a fit of laughter, not caring that we haven't told anyone else our farewells for today. For now, it's just us good pals doing good pal things. Nothing wrong with that, right? I am going to enjoy this day with Kenshin and not make everything so complicated like I used to do. We both venture out into the shopping street and had some fun with light conversations about the weather and what we can do together at the dojo, and all of the local holidays that I should stick around to enjoy with them. Kenshin seem so at ease with me and I can't help but smile ear to ear every time he tells me even the silliest things that shouldn't have to be said, such as why do certain insects come at certain times of the year, or why do foreign visitors come here with such bizarre clothing. We giggle amongst ourselves as we walk past some very interesting people dressing up to the highest fashion, as if they try so hard to be noticed by the locals even though we couldn't care less. It was mostly me cracking the jokes, but Kenshin was respectful about it all. Still, he never leaves me feeling like a jerk and always filled in the gaps with some quips of his own, and then we would laugh together.

This feels nice. Just us together like this.

We got everything and brought our bags of tofu and vegetables along with a nice dessert for tonight out over the bridge in order to head back to our neighborhood. We see up ahead a group of three and they were too far for us to discern the details as to whom they could be. We walk closer and it dawned on us as to who they were. The Bokkai family, the same people who terrorized Kenshin's friends several days ago. Kenshin's eyes widen at that realization and I place our bags down so as to not spill anything, trying to hide my fearful eyes from him in the meanwhile. Once I stand up straight to look ahead, I lean over to whisper to Kenshin.

"Are you going to fight them?"

"I am not certain that I should."

The Bokkai family stand just a few feet away from us, smirking in our direction. This doesn't look or feel good at all. I think something really bad will happen. We look back at them, and we were all silent for a few moments. A gust of wind passes us by. Their leader, Ohta Bokkai, comes forth with an ugly smile on his face. Now I remember his hideousness; he is a tall man with small scratches and scars all over his face, his skin rugged and dented by those markings on his face, and his eyes a pale blue that is almost too light to even be called such a shade anymore. His hair is a frizzy brown mess that he ties back into a tight ponytail, and he is too slim for his stature. He is a very coarse looking man, but his sons are surprisingly easy on the eyes. Their features are delicate for what is worth, but their smiles always leave me cold. I wonder if, like me, their mother was absolutely beautiful but perhaps had a heart full of resentment. Maybe that's why my mother dropped me off of my father's house before leaving me alone. She wanted us all to be destroyed by her own mistakes. And in those boys' eyes, I saw the truth for what it is. Resentment is a disease that gets handed down from generation to generation.

"We meet again, Battousai." He sniggers, his gold tooth glinting in the sun, "And I see you brought your little friend along, too."

"Soujiro Seta, of the Juppongatana," The black haired twin, Kuno Bokkai, smirks, and I find my throat constricting and my eyes widening in shock. How does he know that?

"Surprised? We sure were when we found out," The white blond haired twin, Ito Bokkai, snorts, "Running away on Makoto Shishio must be your greatest mistake. What a pity."

"H-How?" I step back and Kenshin slides in front of me in order to protect me.

"Soujiro stays out of this," Kenshin warns with a low growl, "It should just be me and you, Ohta. We end this war today with the Battojutsu."

"Hmm?!" Ohta leans back with an arrogant expression on his face, "Ah, so protective are we over that wimpy looking boy, huh? But what then, is your purpose in protecting your prior enemy like this? Is this guilt playing on your conscious all over again? Are you truly so stupid to believe that you can run from your sins forever, Himura?"

"You clearly don't know how to listen," Kenshin takes one step forward as if in warning, "Draw your sword. It's you and me, one on one."

"Ha! The Battojutsu it is, then! But first!" He outstretches his arms, "Ito! Now!"

The blond twin jumps up into the air and swings his arm in front of him as if to strike something, and I immediately felt my neck tightened by, what it appears to be, a very thin and colorless string. How? How could I have not seen that?! My hands fly up to try and move this string from out of my neck, but it only made Ito tighten its grip even harder, and soon my knees give out from the sheer shock. While I am chocking and trying to catch any hint of oxygen into my lungs, Kenshin looks down at me with the most frightened and yet rage inducing eyes I've ever seen. A flash of gold enters lavender and I knew—the Battousai has come out to play. He whips to Ohta and does his battle stance.

"I told you that Soujiro stays out of this!" Kenshin growls. Ohta only booms in laughter.

"Ah, but Battousai! You thought I was nothing but a joke back then! Now that my boy has your boy in a tight situation, there's nothing left here but for you to revert to the true swordsman that you've always have been! It would be a shame not see the real Battousai, after all."

"Kenshin.." I croak out, prompting Kenshin to look down at me with concern.

"Soujiro.." His face fades into an angry scowl again and he looks back at our enemies, "Draw your sword, Ohta."

"Be careful, Himura!" Ohta snaps his finger and Ito pulls his arm back to further constrict my throat until all I can hear is my own squeaking and labored breaths, "If you don't play by my rules, I'm afraid your precious boy will meet his end like the little swine that he is!"

Oh, that word sure brings me back.

"Soujiro!" Kenshin crouches next to me to place his hands on my shoulders to comfort me, and he glares at Ohta, "If you kill my friend, I won't let you off so easily, that I won't!"

"Then come along, Himura! Let us head towards this clearing here. We can't fight on this bridge, you see," Ohta turns around to walk away from said bridge and into the grassy area, "We'll need all the space for a proper battle!"

"And don't think about doing something as stupid as trying to sneak up on any of us," Kuno shakes his head with a cold laugh, prompting Ito to tighten his grip around my neck even harder and I swear my vision is starting to cloud, "Or we will kill your little Soujiro Seta with just a flick of a hand."

"He's so cute," Ito laughs just like his brother did, "It would be such a shame to have us kill a pretty face like his."

Kenshin's eyes glare deeper at the two of them, but softens his face as he looks back down at me as soon as he feels my hand grabbing onto his pant in a fit of desperation. He takes both of his hands on my shoulders—just like in my dream—and looks right into my eyes. My heart is beating so fast, whether from him doing that or my breathing getting cut off, it's a struggle to know which one, but he nods with a gentle smile to reassure me that everything will be okay. I might be on the edge of fainting, but a very small part of me feels relieved to see him do that for me. Kenshin Himura, my guardian angel. Can you save me again? I watch as he stands up to walk over the grassy clearing to prepare the Battojutsu. I watch, helplessly and with my hands around my neck, as they fly towards each other in full tilt, their swords banging against each other to create the loudest sound in all of my life. And just like that, I experience tunnel vision and lose consciousness.

Blackness surrounds my every senses. I couldn't see nor hear anything. I feel like I'm trapped in a cage with no sunshine to guide me out of this nightmare. But just as soon as I fainted, I gain consciousness slowly, the seeping sounds of the forest reaching my ears and the smell of the trees and flowers rousing me to wake up. I am lying down still on that bridge, and I don't dare move a single muscle. I feel the vibrations of someone running up towards me, and thinking of the worst, I flinch, wondering if the worst of the worst has already happened and the twins are now going to come and kill me. But no such thing has occurred; instead, a figure comes to sweep me up into their arms and I am held against their chest, and from the corner of my eye I could see strands of red shining against the sun, and I knew. I smile faintly and melt into the hug, my heart soaring into the sky. He's okay. Kenshin is okay, and he saved me!

"Let's hurry," Kenshin holsters me up for me to stand up on my own, "Can you walk, Soujiro?"

I wobble a little but I find my balance again, "I think so."

He nods, and that's when I saw his bruises and scratches, his sides drenched in blood, and not to mention the concerning gash I see across his forehead. It's bleeding rapidly and I knew he could faint too also if we don't go back to the Kamiya dojo in time, so we gather our belongings and move swiftly back home. As soon as the front doors open, Kenshin collapses and I fall to my knees to place my arms around him, trying to ignore the screams and cries of confusion and horror from our loved ones. Kaoru rushes down to the floor to hold Kenshin from his back and she weeps on him, while Megumi comes to the other side to coach her to calm down and to help her get him from the floor. Sanosuke immediately scoops me up from the floor and I can see Yahiko rushing outside to get some fresh water. It all happened so quickly and yet, so slowly and dream like. I don't know what's false or real anymore, and seeing Kenshin so out of it and so injured has my heart wrapped in spikes. Kenshin. Please. Please be okay. I hear Ayame and Suzumi crying in a corner somewhere and Dr. Gensai gathering medical materials to begin his work on Kenshin, and Sanosuke brings me on the floor near him to pass a wet towel across my neck. I hiss at the stinging sensation. I think the string that Ito used has cut the skin a little bit.

"Hang in there, kiddo," Sanosuke grunts out of feeling uncomfortable at what he's witnessing in front of him, "Just what in the hell happened?"

"We were stopped," I whisper as he presses the warm towel against my cut, "By the Bokkai family."

"The Bokkai family? I think I've heard of that family name before." Megumi says not too far away from us.

"Who are they?" Yahiko asks from out of my vision range.

"They're just a bunch of dangerous hooligans, is what they are." Dr. Gensai cuts in. It's the first time I heard him talk about someone so coldly like that, even I couldn't help but shiver.

"We should report this to the police," Megumi speaks through gritted teeth, "They just can't get away with this!"

"Kenshin!" I hear Kaoru from out of my vision, sobbing and crying.

"I know what they look like.." I murmur, already feeling myself going under, "I know.."

"Shh, hey," Sanosuke shakes his head at me, "Just relax, Soujiro, we got this. Just try and rest."

But I don't want to. I want to be with Kenshin. I have to know if he's going to be okay. This is all my fault. I don't know why or how, but I know it's my fault and I have to fix this. Despite my inner protests, though, my eyes start to feel heavy and I close them, the darkness once again enveloping me into that noiseless existence. It's then I dream of many things and nothing at once, just flashing images of memories that I've stored away from long ago, and the ones that happened just a few days ago keep playing inside my head like a broken record. Traveling from Hiroshima to Tokyo and finding the Kamiya dojo. Seeing Kenshin again after four long years of silence. The sound of my heartbeat and shallow breathing. The feeling of his body against mines. His eyes. His voice. His strings of philosophy about life and death. And just like that, I jolt myself awake and find myself back in my guest room. I look all around me to find a certain redhead, to no avail. I struggle to get up from my futon and rush out of my room to find him. I almost run right into Yahiko and I grab his arms, catching him by surprise.

"Where's Kenshin?!" I gasp, and he simply points to a door behind me, signaling that it belongs to Kenshin and Kaoru's.

"Hey, Soujiro, are you ok—"

I let go of him and head straight to the bedroom behind me, sliding open the door to find Kenshin resting peacefully in his bed and Kaoru kneeling next to him applying a damp towel on his forehead. She looks up at me with so much concern in her eyes, but as soon as she saw that I'm looking better, she smiles, trying to calm me down. I carefully close the door behind me and walk on over to sit down next to her, my eyes never leaving Kenshin's face. He seem to look fine, but when I saw him fall down like that a few moments ago, it was the most frightening experience of my life. He could have died, losing so much blood like that. I'm blessed to live so near to a couple of great doctors to look over his wounds like that, but it was a very close call overall. Kenshin could have died. The thought of it makes me want to throw up. This is all my fault.

"I'm so sorry," My front bangs hide my eyes from Kaoru, "For all of this.."

"Soujiro, this isn't your fault," Kaoru shakes her head, "It was all them for doing this to you guys. The police have been notified and all of this will be over soon. Please, don't put yourself down like this."

I look up at her, "I know exactly what they look like. How will the police find them if they don't know that?"

Kaoru shakes her head with a sweet smile, "They'll come by here if they have any questions for us. For now, please just rest. It's not worth getting all excited right now."

She's right, but I'm still enraged over what they've done to us. Maybe Kenshin shouldn't have hit Ohta from under his chin with his sword like that. But then, they could have started something anyway and Kenshin would have been able to defend himself no matter what. It's a situation that unfortunately would have escalated down to that moment at the bridge anyhow. It just had to happen. I run some fingers across my neck to find that the string has left a shallow cut all the way across and around, but I'd much rather stick with this than all of Kenshin's injuries. But then, if it meant he would be okay, I would much rather have his injuries and mines as his wound instead. I want his pain to become my own. It would have been more fair, I think. Kaoru lays her hand softly on my shoulder, and my own hand comes up to clasp the top of her hand in recognition.

"Come on, Soujiro. Let's leave Kenshin to rest. I'll need some help in the kitchen, okay?" Kaoru winks playfully and I smile.

"Yes, Mrs. Himura."

We prepared dinner and the rest of the evening went by swimmingly with a haze. Nothing out of the ordinary happened after our conversation in Kenshin's bedroom, aside from the fact that he hasn't come out of that room at all. Megumi and Dr. Gensai would check up on him periodically to bring him anything he needs, as well as to look at his dressings in case they need changing. Sanosuke, Yahiko, Ayame, Suzumi, Kenji, and Kaoru would also check up on him here and there, even if it's just to talk to him while he's completely knocked out. When I knew that nobody would bother us, I would slip into his bedroom to also see him and to have alone time with him. I sit on my kneecaps and lean over to take a good look at him, his face completely devoid of pain or any discomfort, and I sigh in relief. He's going to be okay as long as we are here with him. I watch his chest rising and falling in steady rhythms, and I take the edge of his blanket to cover up the rest of his body to keep him warm. Brushing my hand accidentally against his body would send shocks of electricity in my skin, so I try to be delicate in my actions. He looks so perfect while he's asleep. My sleeping guardian angel.

I look at him, my memories of what he told me years ago coming back to me.

"I-It looks like our rematch turned out to have the exact opposite ending as the time we fought in the Shingetsu Village, doesn't it? To think that someone can prove so much in so little time, while keeping his vow not to kill.. the whole while, I can hardly believe it," I smile at Yumi, "But it's true. It's a little unfair, Miss Yumi."

She gasps quietly, "A little unfair? Kiddo.."

"When you're trying to repair a brick building, when it's made the wrong way the first time, you have to tear the whole thing down before you can begin. It can't be done any other way, 'cause bricks are just too strong to change. So.. I was wrong all these years. This battle has shown me the answer," I struggle to sit up, "The one who's always been right is you, Mr. Himura," I look at him now, "I see that now."

Kenshin tries to catch up with his breath until he whispers hoarsely, "No. That's not the case at all. Shishio's logic dictates that the winner of the battle, in other words the strong, is always correct, that it does. If the truth could be discovered through fighting one or two battles, then we'd all be going fighting through life without ever being right or wrong."

My eyes widen and he continues.

"A person's life isn't so simple a matter, that it isn't. The true answer is something you find out yourself, by how you live your life from this day onward, that it is."

I look right at him for a couple of moments, his words changing my ideas slowly but surely. He's right. I reply, "Like exactly.. how you did all these years?" He nods in agreement. I smile at him for a moment longer before I close my eyes, "You're a demanding man, you know that? Ugh," I feel faint so I lay back down on Yumi's lap and place my hand over my eyes, "Really, Mr. Himura.. You're not giving me any easy answers, that's for sure. You're much more demanding than Mr. Shishio ever was."

A single tear rolls out of my eye and I hear Kenshin calling out softly and with a smile, "Soujiro."

...

I open my eyes to see Kenshin waking up from his deep slumber, and he turns to me with a puzzled look in his eyes. I chuckle airily, "Hello."

"Soujiro.. Are you alright?"

I am taken a back at his sincerity of making sure I am alright rather than wondering if he's doing okay at this point, "Me? You're the one who's really hurt here, Mr. Himura. I should be asking you the same."

He smiles weakly and shakes his head carefully, his voice hoarse with exhaustion, "I'm okay now, that I am. I think I scared those hoodlums off for good. It was a close call, but I defeated Ohta Bokkai fair and square, that I did."

"You really are the strongest samurai in all of Japan, Kenshin," I smile bitterly, "I am humbled to be of acquaintance with you."

"Thank you, Soujiro, but," His eyes turn serious now, "When you fainted, and after I defeated him.. He warned me that he will take someone very precious from me. I can't help but think he's mentioning Kaoru or my son, Kenji. We need to warn the others."

"I'll take care of that. You just rest," I fight the urge to touch him in any way even though I wish I could, "And catch some sleep. We'll take care of all the details."

"Thank you," He closes his eyes but his smile doesn't budge from his face, "You're a wonderful friend to all of us, that you are."

I don't want to leave his side but I know I should go and warn the others. I bid him goodnight and go on to tell the others of the impending danger as well as the physical description of the Bokkai family, leaving them deep in concern of what the future may bring. Apparently the police has come here while I was asleep, but Megumi said that she'll go back to the station tomorrow to let them know of what I said to them. Sanosuke goes off on a tangent of wanting to kick their asses if he ever sees them, and Yahiko is too busy trying to contain his blinding fury of knowing that it's the Bokkai family who hurt his dear friend Kenshin like this. With the two young girls already off to bed, Dr. Gensai just shakes his head at the nonsense of it all and told me that he will keep a close eye on Kenshin so that he may heal properly. I bow to them all and said that I will retreat to bed for an early bedtime, and they rub my back to comfort me. They really are an amazing family for Kenshin and he deserves all of their love. I realized that now. Maybe one day, I too, will have a family like this to call my own.

A few days have come and pass. I am too afraid of even leaving the dojo to take recreational walks, and just made sure to stay close to Kenshin. He would wake up here and there to ask for water or something to eat, and little by little, he is able to sit upright and eat more confidentially. The wounds are healing pretty nicely. Dr. Gensai would redress the bandages as I sit by to watch, and he would note that I seem to have what it takes to go to medical schooling if I can look at bloody things without fainting. Maybe it's my past that hardened me, and I told him this, as a way to let him know that it's not my intelligence that would give me a life calling to become a doctor like him. He chuckles and then told me to not be so swift to put myself down like that, and that I have so much potential in this lifetime than to just be another wandering samurai. I thank him, wondering if maybe he's right after all. Maybe, and I perhaps wonder if it is true, that I could in fact do such a thing for a living. To help other people instead of hurting them, to heal them rather than kill them like before. It's a scary but wonderful possibility, after all.

Kenshin healed up pretty soon after and can move around and about again, and although we were all so heightened in awareness of the Bokkai family being near us here in Tokyo, we did try to live our normal lives again despite everything. I look up at the ceiling above me one night after dinner, just thinking. I know I said that I should get over my silly crush and to not let lust damage the bond I share with Kenshin, but seeing him so happy and alive again has once again put me in a quagmire of fighting my emotions surrounding him. I drag my finger over my bottom lip, wishing we could kiss each other just like in my dream of him and I together, and suddenly I realized how fragile and how soon life can be cut short if one is not careful. And it's because of the fragility of life as I know it, I wonder if maybe I should just take what I want and not let paranoia rule me anymore. Yes, Kenshin is married, and yes, he is also a father. But I have to know one thing before I move on from all of this: Could he also find me attractive, theoretically speaking? Even if just in passing, to know that he'd notice me would give my soul some rest. Even if nothing comes out of it, at least I'll know the truth, and that will keep me happy for the rest of my life. It's better that than never doing anything and pretending that the underlying passion isn't really there at all. It has to come out and it has to be discussed. Or just, shown. Yes.

So that's what I'll do. I turn to my side and fall asleep, preparing a new day ahead of mischief. I'll flirt with Kenshin and see if he stirs and feels any hint of sparks for me. If I can experience just him looking at me with full lust, I'll die happily and can get over this bullshit once and for all. Just one look or one word from him acknowledging that I am attractive in his eyes too would seal the deal and I can find someone else without struggling with this anymore. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not asking him to leave his wife or his friends and family, right? A little bit of harmless flirting and joking around isn't going to ruin his marriage, as strong as it is. After sleeping like a baby for the entire night, I wake up and head down to find Kenshin sitting on the back porch to catch some rays. He is wearing a black printed kimono, a first for me, and it looks absolutely wonderful against his red hair. He hears me coming from the dojo and beams at me. God, I can't help but feel weak in the knees when I see him smile like that. I wonder if he knows the effects he has on people.

"Morning, Soujiro," He looks back towards the sky, "Don't mind me, I'm just enjoying the sun, that I am."

"Are you feeling better?" I walk up to sit down next to him, and he nods positively, "That's good. I really like this color on you."

"Oro?" He looks at me with blinking eyes and then looks down on his own outfit, "This old thing?"

I giggle, "Yeah, black looks really nice on you. I like it."

He scratches the back of his head and laughs uncomfortably, "Well, thank you, Soujiro. I'll keep that in mind, that I will!"

"You don't have to be so shy, Kenshin," I reach out to tug the front of the kimono a little, "All I said was that it looks good on you. You don't have to be so humble all the time, you know."

He blinks down at my hand and then looks at me with a tilt of his head, "Um..?"

I let go of him and stand up to bow down to him, "Excuse me." and walk back to the dojo, my heart racing over having to touch him like that. But at least the first seed has been implanted, I think to myself. I'll have to be very subtle about it if I want this to be a success. I can go bolder and harder when I need to be, to cause a slow burn inside of him. I have the rest of the day to do just that. Perfect. When lunch is served later on, I make it a point to sit down next to Kenshin while he sits next to Kaoru. Things went on as per usual until Yahiko jumps up and asks Kenshin about his battle with the Bokkai family and if he can remember the moves he's done against their leader. Suddenly, everybody seem more alert and interested in his account with the evil family, and even I keep a close eye on him as he hums to himself to try and remember it. I'm guessing his short term memory isn't really the best. I wonder if that is truly a blessing in disguise in contrast to me, who seem to remember absolutely everything.

"We started off with the Battojutsu, that we did," He takes a hold of his chin as he thinks carefully, "Then he charged right after me with his strange looking sword at me, as if trying to cut my head off from my body, but I dodged it and did the Ryutsuisen right on his shoulder. And all the while he's hurt and screaming at me, I charge right at him with my Ryusosen, knocking him down immediately. It got blurry from there."

"Aw, come on, Kenshin!" Yahiko cries out, "There has to be more than that, spill the beans!"

"Yahiko!" Kaoru hushes him and the youth once again sticks his tongue out at her in retaliation.

"Daddy go boom boom!" Kenji dances around the edge of the table while Ayame and Suzumi giggles.

"So what else happened?" Sanosuke takes a sip of his tea.

"Did you used your Kuzuryusen? That one is my favorite." Megumi smiles in reminiscence.

"Ah, of course! That's what I used, that I did!" Kenshin perks up and slams his fist in his other palm, "That was the one that made him scurry off with his sons, that it did!"

"And he saved my life," I purr, placing my elbow on the table and lean a little closer to his side, smiling up at him dreamily, "The Kuzuryusen was also the move he made four years ago during our battle. I must admit, I was super close to getting hit with it, and it still impresses me to this day."

"No way!" Yahiko coos and even the other young children stops to stare in wonder.

"You were a really fast fighter, weren't you? Shishio taught you that Shukuchi thing or whatever," Sanosuke crosses his arms in front of him and hums, "I can't get over my shock that day when I realized that you were actually faster than Kenshin."

"Soujiro surely had the upper hand at that time, that he did!" Kenshin nods. Humble still, are we not?

"Yes, well," I do a half shrug and I look at Kenshin intensely now, "Kenshin was the one who had more strength and had more of a true swordsman spirit in order to defeat me. He won fair and square and I didn't have what it takes to beat him. Even without that breakdown, Kenshin would have still defeated me with his extra step in his Battojutsu. That was very smart of you, Kenshin.."

Is it my imagination, or did I just caught a faint blush creeping on his cheeks just now? He smiles and laughs awkwardly and then goes, "Well, thank you, Soujiro."

Strike two. I'm getting warmer and I know it. After lunch, everybody had their own thing to do. Kaoru just reopened a new semester for her training classes, so she's preparing the room for her students to come in, and Yahiko volunteers to act as her teacher aide. Sanosuke goes out for a fishing trip for tonight's dinner while his wife stops at her office to catch up on some paperwork along with Gensai. Ayame, Suzumi, and Kenji are then watched over by Kenshin and I. The sun rises to the middle of the sky when I saw Kenshin doing the laundry outside as the three young children are playing around together. I go up to him and see that he's trying to rub one of his sore shoulder from straining himself over using the washboard so hard. Now's my chance for my third strike.

"Oh Kenshin, here!" I pipe up from behind him and lay my hands on his shoulders, "Let me give you a massage!"

"Eh?" He blinks, "You don't have to do that, Soujiro—"

"—Nonsense, I'm good at this! Miss Yumi taught me how to do it," I begin working on him, "She said she was taught by the other ladies of the night."

"Yumi?" He blinks and then his face opens up to recognizing who I'm talking about, "Ah, the companion of Shishio Makoto. It's awful to know that they both died in the fire, that it is."

"Yes. Unfortunate." I dig my thumbs deep within his muscles, "I think they were happy within their last moments together, though."

"Hmm," Kenshin closes his eyes and seems to inwardly relax the more I massage him, "Shishio stabbed her trying to hurt me during battle."

I stop momentarily, "He did?"

He nods, "It was terrible. I was so angry when he did that, killing his lover in front of us like that in a fit of vengeance. Anything to reach his end goals, I suppose."

I continue with my massage, "Truth be told, I don't think I ever truly believed his words of wisdom."

"I don't think you ever really did, Soujiro. Otherwise," He turns his head to smile up at me, "You wouldn't have broken down four years ago so tremendously like that."

I smile shyly, "Touché."

"I think I'm okay now, but thank you so much, Soujiro," He tries to roll his shoulders from out of my touch, but I don't let up.

"Wait, Kenshin, I actually just remembered this one thing Yumi taught me—" I take my elbows and dig them deep into his shoulder curves, "—I think it goes like this."

"Oro?" He scrunches his face from the impact, "That does go deep, ha ha!"

"Soujiro is hurting Kenshin!" Ayame coos and points in our general direction.

"Soujiro is hurting your daddy, Kenji!" Suzumi chuckles next to the young warrior to be, aggravating him suddenly.

"No hurt!" He suddenly screeches and charges right at us, and before Kenshin and I could properly react, Kenji jumps into the washing tub and all of the soapy water springs out and soaks the both of us, leaving us blinking and groaning in confusion.

"I am fine, that I am, Kenji," Kenshin shakes his head with a patient smile, wiping his wet bangs from out of his eyes, "Soujiro is only trying to help."

I smile wider and place my chin on top of his head, winking towards Kenji, "Yup!"

After we all helped each other clean up the mess, Kenshin goes inside to prepare a snack for all of us. Kaoru and Yahiko are still very busy with their students in the training room, and all the others seem to be taking their sweet time with their personal businesses, which relieves me. I have all the privacy in the world as long as I'm being careful with this scheme of mine. As a snack, Kenshin prepared some simple rice balls and carries a tray full of them back outside the back porch so that we can all enjoy. He sets it down carefully and the young children immediately swoops in to get their own rice ball to munch on, and we both laugh at their silliness. I wonder if I can have children of my own someday, even through the form of adoption. If I can get over Kenshin eventually and find myself a nice woman to settle down with, I'd like to have several. It would be so nice to have so many pair of eyes looking up at you like that.

I look up to the skies for a while as Kenshin tells the others to try and play nice with one another, and then he looks up towards my back facing him and says, "Soujiro, would you like one?"

I look over my shoulder casually and see my next opportunity. There right on the corner of his lip is a single grain of rice. Perfect. I smirk to myself and turn around to face him completely. While the other kids go on to play around with a garden snail that they found in the grass, I kneel in front of him and place my face on my hand to shake my head at his clumsiness. He blinks a few times, confused as to what's happening, and I reach out with my other hand to take that smudge of food from out of his lip and pop it right into my own mouth. I touched him again and I can feel the electricity coursing through my veins, but I try to hide it with a polite smile.

"You should be more careful when you eat, Kenshin," I close my eyes and chuckle under my breath, "You had something on your face."

"Um, uh.." He seems at a loss for words, so he just thrust one rice ball in his hand at me, "Thank you, Soujiro."

I open my eyes and grab said snack from his grasp and stand up, my eyes and smile never leaving. I take a bite and smile again with my eyes before turning around to walk back inside the dojo, taking notice that even the kids stopped to look at me in confusion as to what in the world I just done. Those poor kids, but at least they'll never know the truth. Later on, everybody has come back home and Sanosuke unfortunately wasn't able to catch any good fish for tonight, so Megumi suggests that we all go out and treat ourselves a trip to a restaurant on her own pay. We prepare ourselves and all head out, trying to find the perfect restaurant. We could go to our usual favorite, but then we spotted a new place opening on one street where it was decorated in a Western style, and we got curious. I wonder what people from the other side of the world eats like, so we go in. It smelled so good and we were surprised to find chairs and higher set tables, a first for me in my short life. I sit right across from Kenshin while he sits in between his wife and child, and we all had a nice time chatting and eating.

Soon another opportunity springs up and I smile devilishly to myself. I take off my slippers and gingerly place them on top of the top part of Kenshin's feet, and he flinches in surprise. He immediately realizes that it was me touching him so playfully like that, and he grimaces at me in a jokingly fashion, trying to kick my feet off of his. I giggle secretly and try my hardest to play footsie war with him, unbeknownst to everybody else at the table. Soon enough, of course, my giggling and his grunts and annoyed huffs caught everybody's attention and they all looked at us in bewilderment.

"Are you two okay?" Megumi's eyes were wider as usual, shooting them back and forth between us.

"Um," Kenshin smiles awkwardly at her, trying to hide our secret footsie game, "Us? I'm okay, that I am—Eep!"

Under the table, I place a firm grasp of my two cold feet around his ankle, and I snigger.

"Maybe Kenshin's sick," Yahiko shrugs. Oh brother.

"Kenshin, it's okay if the food here sucks." Sanosuke grins like an idiot, unaware of everything that's happening right below him.

Kenshin shivers from the cold and the awkwardness of it all and he looks down at his own lap to hide his embarrassment, "I-I'm fine.."

He tries to move his trapped leg but I don't let him. I yawn and roll my eyes, "Mr. Himura seems to be feeling cold is what it looks like."

"Cold?" Kaoru blinks at him, "It's June, Kenshin, why you should be cold at this time?"

Kenshin twitches and looks at her, and replies through a forced, gritted smile, "I-I'm okay, that I am, dear!"

I take the bottom length of his pants and tug it in between my toes, and he glares right at me in a really funny way, and I only smile sweetly in return. Not much you can do, huh, Himura? Guess you'll just have to sit there and struggle for the rest of the meal. I open my eyes and turn to everyone, "Mr. Himura is doing a great job teaching me the Hiten Mitsurugi."

"Is he now?" Kaoru perks up proudly, "I'm so happy to hear that!"

"And if you need any extra practice, you know where to find me, kid." Sanosuke gives me a thumbs up.

"Yeah, and I'm also here if you need even more extra practice!" Yahiko slaps my arm, "I love to practice by myself, so it would be awesome if you could join me!"

I nod at the both of them, "Sure thing!"

"It's also nice to see you two are getting along so well," Kaoru sighs contently, "And to think you were once mortal enemies."

Kenshin and I would have gotten along much better if we could have sex on your bed, Kaoru. Oh, but you don't have to know about that. I smile innocently at her and nod in recognition. Kenshin meanwhile is shivering and groaning in my uncomfortable and freezing touch. After dinner, we all head back home in a fit of conversations and laughter, and the gang go on to do their own thing once again. Kaoru asks me to look over Kenji while she helps Megumi tuck in the young girls to their respective beds, and I agreed. The restaurant has given us all pieces of chocolate as a token of their appreciation of us choosing their place to eat in tonight, so I kept my share in my pocket for later use. That use now comes up again when I see Kenshin sitting in a room enjoying a cup of after supper tea, and he is sitting near this cabinet. An idea bubbles inside my head and I take Kenji into a room near by to whisper something into his ear.

"I'll give you this piece of chocolate if you roll your toy under that cabinet next to daddy," I speak in hush tones, "Can you do that, Kenji?"

He nods positively at my request and takes one of his toy from his pile of stuff, and he chooses this horse toy on little wheels. Perfect. He sneaks around the corner, tip toeing while I watch from another corner. He sets the toy on the floor, looks at me, and watches as I nod to affirm his decision. He pushes the toy hard enough for it to roll all the way under the cabinet. He looks at us with concern but I smile his way, "Good job, Kenji. I'll go get it and then I'll give you the treat. Wait back inside your room."

He does what I say and I nearly skip my way into the room. Kenshin looks under the cabinet and then turns at me with puzzlement, "Did Kenji do that?"

I laugh to myself, "Poor kid. I'll get it."

"Do you need me to mo—" Before he could finish his sentence, I kneel next to him and I shake my head at him.

"Don't move, I'll just reach over and get it quickly," I lean over his lap, outstretching my hand under the opening under the cabinet, "It should be nearby.."

Kenshin grunts from the pressure of my body right over his lap, but he doesn't try to move while I try to 'find' Kenji's rolling horse toy. While I do, I try to think of ways to see how I can get him to feel something for me. Anything! What do I do? What can I say? I wonder if my previous attempts were too subtle and friendly to be considered effective flirting. But maybe that's a good thing at the same time. I can't have him or anyone else become too suspicious of what I'm trying to do. Soon, my fingers hit against a familiar hard object and I recognize that it's Kenji's toy, much to my disappointment. Already? Should I say something? Should I move? It's not like I know how to give seductive lap dances, so I'm stuck. What to do.. what to say..

...

Oh. I know.

"I think I got it.." I strain my voice, trying to sound like I'm stretching with everything I have, "It's right there.."

Kenshin doesn't respond and just takes a sip of his tea in the meanwhile.

I bite my lower lip and prepare myself for what I'll say next, and with a suspicious sounding moan, I whisper, "It's just so tight."

Kenshin chokes on his drink and promptly sets down his cup and coughs his way into breathing again, grabbing my hair all the while. My face sizzles in blush but I feel pretty proud to get at least that kind of reaction out of him. Yes, Kenshin, please touch me. I know you want to. His grasp on my hair tightens slightly more while he tries to steady his breathing, and then he loosens his hold on me. I carefully sit up with the missing toy in my hand and I blink naively at him, "Are you okay?"

His face couldn't have been redder, and I try to hide my own embarrassed expression with a forced smile, "Mm-hm!"

I get up and walk away from him, feeling my own face getting just as red as his. But despite all of that.. there isn't any lustful gazes or words or anything like that! Not even one second of him getting hard from underneath me! I grumble to myself all the way to Kenji's room, and I give him both his toy and chocolate to get him to stay quiet over this. Good thing he didn't see anything or else something even worse could have happened. I think I need a bath and just forget about this stupid experiment. I go outside to the bathhouse and light up the fires underneath, and filled the tub with water. Getting in, I try to relax, but my annoyance over the failed plan doesn't let up. I suddenly let out a growl of frustration and slap a hand on the water, splashing everywhere. God! What did I do wrong? Am I really that subtle? I usually know how to flirt with other people, but with Kenshin, something holds me back. Is it guilt? What could it be stopping me from reaching my full potential with that man?

Ugh. Whatever. What's done is done and I failed. I decide to let my anger go with the one thing I know I'm really good at. I take my hand and start to stroke myself, letting the back of my head rest on the edge of the bathtub. I think about his cute little faces he made today while I was messing around with him, and how adorable he'd look cumming if I could suck him off in some other dimension. I bet he'd taste so good inside my throat. I groan and go faster, trying to keep my noises to a bare minimum volume, so that I won't disturb the other patrons of the Kamiya dojo. Don't need them sniffing in my private business. I think of Kenshin some more, of all the variety of scenarios of us sharing sexual escapades together, from licking each other to fondling each other in secrecy, to him fucking me and me being an absolute harlot at his disposal. He can do anything and everything to me and I'd let him. Soon my head starts to swim from the peaking of the intense pleasure inside of me, and my breathing becomes erratic. God, this feels incredible. I'd do anything if it means that Kenshin could double me over and fuck my hole until I can't breathe anymore.

"Oh!" I suddenly jump up, and I feel myself going over the edge already, "Ah, fuck!"

I cum and my body convulses, waves of pleasure ripping inside of me. I try to take composure over myself, trying to get my heart beat and breathing rate down, and my forehead is drenched with the perspiration and bath water. After a while, I heard it; a shuffle of feet from outside of the door. My body tenses up, wondering if it's the Bokkai members again, or the police, or someone else undesirable. Or God forbid, one of my new friends walking in on me screaming and coming so intensely like that. I get out of the bathtub and wrap my cloth around my hips, grabbing my sword from the ground and take it out from its sheath. I inch near the door with my sword ready to strike, and with one swift movement, I slide it open and prepare to swing down my sword when I meet face to face with a pair of familiar lavender eyes. My knees start to buckle and I stop breathing. Oh my God.

Oh my God!

He heard me!

"K.. Kenshin?" I quiver, feeling mortified and all the color from my face draining away, "W-what..?"

He smiles pitifully at me and chuckles, "I apologize. I'm afraid I heard you. I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced. I was just worried about you and wanted to check up on you."

It's a good thing I didn't yelled out his name during my self fondling, but still, this is completely humiliating. Not to mention rude! I flicker my eyes to the floor, feeling my dinner rising up from my stomach and I cover my mouth. He laughs a little harder now, and I look back up and felt annoyed, "How rude are you, seriously?! I need my privacy too, Mr. Himura!"

"I'm really sorry, Soujiro," He bows to me, and leaning back up, I catch a quick second of his eyes trailing down and up over my body, and with a little smile, he nods, "Maybe it is time for you to get a new girlfriend, yes? I have no doubt that it wouldn't be too difficult for you. You're a very attractive person, that you are."

I want to die. Did he just complimented me? My cheeks burn bright and I gulp, feeling no saliva whatsoever. Is this what I've been waiting for? I'll admit, it would have been better if I invoked a more sexual response from the Battousai, but maybe this nice compliment doesn't disappoint me at all. No. It's way better than nothing and him continuing to treat me like I have absolutely no sexual value would have been even more painful. I have to think of something good to say at a time like this. We were both quiet for a while, and I know the moment of opportunity is running out. It's now or never. I look up right into his eyes, and I smirk, "If you think that sounds attractive, I would sound even better in bed. Just saying."

I walk on ahead of him before he has the opportunity to properly react. Still, I hear him chuckling and saying, "You're probably right, Soujiro."

I could explode in any moment now. I jump into my futon and play around with his gift that he brought me on my second day here at the dojo, the tiny trinket that he brought me from the street vendor. I hold it over my head and look at the painted white peach flower on the center of it, and I smile ear to ear, proud of myself today. I did it. I absolutely did it! Kenshin thinks I'm attractive! I squeal to myself and pump my fists out triumphantly. I've done mission impossible and now I can move on from this. I can get over him and my life will return to normal. Everything will be okay again, I just know it. I place my trinket aside and turn out the light, sighing contently before closing my eyes. And now for days ahead will I focus on my training with Kenshin and not have to think of him in that way anymore.

I did it, I did it, I did it. Everything is going to be okay.

Right?