Plan B

Ryan walked into the break room to grab a couple cups of coffee for him and Jessica for the ride home while Jessica collected their stuff from the locker room. Ryan wasn't surprised to find Jesse sitting at the table alone. He poured his coffee and sat beside his friend.

"Hey Jess," he quietly said.

Jesse smiled at him and replied with a quiet "Hey Ry."

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Nope, you're thinking about something. What is it?"

Jesse shifted uncomfortably in his seat and rubbed his eyes. "I was thinking about this afternoon, at the sugar refinery."

"What about it?"

"Well I couldn't help but wonder…" he trailed off and shook his head.

"Jesse," Ryan said, "You can tell me. I'm not going to get mad. Just tell me what's on your mind."

Jesse sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Well I couldn't help but wonder…did I rape Jessica? I mean she clearly didn't want to do it but I kind of forced myself on her."

Ryan grabbed Jesse's shoulder and squeezed it. "Jesse, you did nothing wrong. Wilson was going to rape her and you saved Jessica. Yeah I'm not too pleased that's how it worked out, but I'm glad it was you. Of all the guys in the lab I'm glad it was you with her. You care a lot about Jessica and I know you wouldn't take advantage of her. It's ok Jesse, everything's fine."

Jesse sighed and looked at Ryan. "Thanks Ryan, I needed to hear that."

Ryan smiled and leaned back in his chair as he took a drink of coffee. "So how was it?"

"How was what?"

"Boning my girl of course," Ryan smirked

Jesse laughed and shook his head. "You really won't get mad?"

"Nope, you're safe to speak freely."

A sly smile spread across Jesse's face and his eyes seemed to light up. "It was pretty awesome. I have to hand it to you, even with a murderer watching, us Jess is really frickin good."

Ryan chuckled and clapped Jesse on the back. "No hard feelings, I promise."

"Hey Ryan," Jessica said as she walked into the break room, looking through her purse, "Can we stop at the pharmacy on the way home? I need to pick up some Plan B." Jessica looked up and froze when she saw Jesse. "Oh Jesse, uh, hi, didn't see you there."

Ryan stood and walked over to her. "Jess, why would you need Plan B?" he quietly said, "When we were in the Hummer I didn't actually…you know."

"Well, it's not necessarily for…um….you know what let's just talk in the car."

"It's because you don't want to risk getting pregnant with my child," Jesse said as he stood from the table. "I wasn't wearing a condom and I'm going to guess you didn't have any form of protection on."

"Jesse, I'm on the pill." Jessica said, "We should be fine."

"Then why do you need an emergency contraceptive?" Jesse questioned. Jessica was silent as she tried to think of what to say. "You're not taking it, are you?" Jesse finally asked. "You stopped taking it back in June, didn't you?"

Jessica looked at him shocked. "What makes you think I stopped taking my pill?"

"You're more emotional, you seem to have terrible menstrual symptoms, and you've lost weight." Jesse explained, "When you first started taking the pill I noticed you put on some weight. My wife told me that's a common occurrence with birth control. Your body thinks it's pregnant so it starts retaining weight in order to care for the fetus that doesn't really exist. You're trying to get pregnant, aren't you?"

Jessica shook her head. "No, that's not why. I stopped taking it because it was making me depressed. Dr. Thompson thinks the hormones in the pill are messing with my psyche. It's a really rare side effect, but I've had it happen before. That's why I had the hormone implant. The dosage was different and I was fine." Jessica stepped towards Jesse, staring him down. "Jesse, if I was trying to get pregnant do you really think I would want to buy an emergency contraceptive? Don't you think I wouldn't have said anything?"

"But it's not Ryan's." Jesse said, "Why would you want to have my baby? I'm not the man you love."

"Jesse, if I was desperate enough I think I wouldn't care who the father was and I would just have the baby." Jessica said, anger filling her voice. "Ryan wears a condom every time, even if I try to argue that we'll be fine and that I'm not ovulating he still wears one. He refuses not to. This could be my only chance to get pregnant. I think I would rather have your baby than no baby at all. But I don't want to be a mother right now, Jesse. The timing isn't right. I'm not as ready as I thought I was."

"Whatever," Jesse muttered as he went to leave the room. Jessica grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Jesse I know you love me and I love you, but not in the same way." Jessica said, "I'm sorry you lost the chance but there's nothing I can do about it now. I'm sorry you're hurt. I'm sorry I didn't act on it either. I'm not sorry though about falling in love with Ryan. I felt attracted to both of you, but there was something about Ryan that pulled me towards him. I'm sorry it wasn't you, Jesse."

Jesse looked at her and felt a tight pain in his chest. "What was it like? What was it like being with a man who wasn't Ryan? Did you like it?"

Jessica stared at him with hurt filled eyes. "Yes, I liked it very much."

"Don't you ever get tried of being with the same man day in and day out?"

"Sometimes it does seem a little boring, but that's the downfall of being in a monogamous relationship, you're only with that one person. But it doesn't matter to me, because very time with Ryan is sooooo good."

"Do you miss sleeping with other men?"

"Not really, I didn't actually know what it was like to have sex with someone that wasn't raping me until I met Ryan. I mean, Mark and I fooled around and he tried to help me get over this fear of sex I had, but that really wasn't anything."

"What about Horatio?" Jesse sneered, "You slept with him. He admitted it himself."
"No," Jessica exclaimed, "I did not sleep with my father. Horatio had sex with Izzy."

"Who is you!" Jesse said loudly, "You are Izzy!"

Jessica just stared at him and felt anger burn through her veins. "Did you ever get bored fucking your wife, Jesse? I mean come on, marriage, that's truly monogamous. Must have sucked to be you, only being able to have sex with one woman."

"You leave my wife out of this." Jesse sneered, "She's dead and you need to respect her."
"And you need to respect my dead sister!" Jessica snapped back at him. "I'm not Izzy, and I never have been. We share a past, that's it." Jessica grabbed Ryan's hand and pulled on his arm. "Come on Ryan, I need to go schedule an abortion."

Ryan went to follow Jessica out of the break room but he stopped and looked at Jesse. "I want you to know Cardoza that I still don't have hard feelings about what happened in the glades and at the warehouse." He said, "But I'm pissed as hell at you about what you just said."

Jesse stood and watched them leave. The pain in his chest tightened as he watched Jessica walk away. "You really screwed up this time Jesse," he said to himself.