#12 The Other Girl

A/N: We're fast approaching the end of this story. Thanks to everyone who's been with me this far. I hope you've all enjoyed it so far, and enjoy what's left to come. Also, 'Te Amo' by Rihanna explains how Bec's feeling right now.

Bec's POV

I sat in sullen silence. Neither Griffin nor I said a word. I thought I'd forgotten how to breathe, because I just wanted to scream until my lungs burst. I had been so certain about Griffin's feelings for me…then he'd spurned me. Now I just felt cold and alone. I had no father. I had no friends. Now, I didn't even have Griffin.

I wouldn't cry in front of him. I wasn't going to show him how he'd upset me. I'd thought he was a monster when he abducted me, and then I'd started to think more of him. Now, I was sticking by my first impression. Griffin O'Connor was a callous person who didn't care about anyone but himself.

"Bec…"

Griffin stood up and crossed over to me. He reached out as if to place a hand on my shoulder, except then he stepped back. I got to my feet and glared at him. He'd hurt me more than he could possibly imagine. Now I wasn't sure where to go. Jules would kill me. Griffin didn't want me.

"Well done, O'Connor." My tone was deadly calm and icy cold. "You win."

I was so incensed that I didn't even shout at him. I was beyond that point now and he frowned, seeming to understand this. I turned and walked away and Griffin reached out and snagged my wrist, attempting to pull me back.

"Just listen to me!"

I turned to face him, my eyes narrowed.

"I'm done listening, Griffin. I'm through with all of this shit. You're on your own now. You're nothing."

He flinched as if I'd smacked him. Sneering at him, I yanked my wrist from his grip and marched off. I'd get out of here as soon as I could. Right now, I just wanted to take a long, hot shower and cry myself to sleep.

Griffin's POV

I knew I'd hurt Bec and I was mad at himself. What kind of messed-up person didn't even want to admit the truth? But here it was, okay: I'd fallen in love with Bec Carlyle. Yeah, I couldn't even confess it to myself, definitely not to her. I don't know why I didn't want to…it wasn't about me. It was about her. So many people in my life had been hurt because of the Paladins. Bec was the best thing I'd ever had and I didn't want to lose her. So I was cruel and I pushed her away.

I raked my hands through my hair as I chucked down the Xbox remote. Not even Halo 2 appealed to me at the moment. This was just bloody ridiculous. I needed to get this sorted out or I'd be stuck like this forever, regretting what I'd done. I cursed and got to my feet, stomping into the room where Bec was sleeping.

I stopped and looked down at her for a moment. All the sadness and hurt was gone from her face while she slept. She looked…innocent. Like nothing in the world could hurt her. I wished things could really be like that. I was just content to watch her for a minute, before she frowned and shifted a little.

I leant down to shake her awake. When she realized it was me as she opened her eyes, she threw me a contemptuous glance that just made me want to crawl off and die. Fuck, didn't she understand why I was doing this?

"Bec, we need to talk."

She shook her head slowly, her dark eyes full of anger.

"I don't think so, Griffin. We're done."

I sighed as I sat down on the bed and raked my hands through my hair. Shit, this was going to be hard…but who'd ever said love was easy? She was the daughter of bloody Aaron Carlyle. I never would have seen this coming. Bec was watching me suspiciously, as if she didn't know what to expect.

"I don't know where to start," I vented, "Okay, fine. Fuck. Look, I did hear what you said earlier…and you were right. I do…I…"

I took a deep breath and counted to five. "Shit, I think I love you, Bec."

She sat up straighter, folding her arms across her chest.

"Why is that so hard?" she demanded, "Why couldn't you have just said that earlier on, Griffin? Don't you know how deep it cut me when you said those things? I just wanted…"

She placed her hands over her face and I wished I could put an arm around her…except that just wasn't me. What was it about this girl that drove away the tough Griffin O'Connor and replaced him with a Jumper who actually had feelings?

"I don't do this," I muttered. "We can't…have a relationship or that kind of shit. It's too dangerous. What do you think would happen if the Paladins found out? I'm not having them use you against me. I'm not letting them hurt you like they have everyone else."

I couldn't get her hopes up. She was watching me with a wide-eyed expression and I knew what she wanted, what she needed. Her father was dead and she needed some sort of comfort. A hug, a kiss maybe…shit. I had to stop this mess right now.

"We're not doing this." I shook my head vigorously and my voice was firm now. "We can't. This isn't what I want. I don't want…this."

I gestured between her and me. Bec's eyes flashed with hurt and I knew I was making the same old mistakes…except if it would save her life, it was worth it. She knew how I felt. So none of the rest of that shit mattered.

"So, you love me, but you don't want me?"

I clenched my jaw and forced myself to lie. "Pretty much, yeah."

Bec was shaking her head in disgust when I looked up, with that crippling look on her face again, the one that made me feel a little suicidal.

"I don't believe this," she whispered, getting up out of the bed, "I don't believe what you're doing."

She stalked out of the room. I gave it a few moments before I decided to follow her, except then it was already too late. Bec was gone.

Bec's POV

I don't exactly know how I managed to find Lance. All I know is that one moment I was in Griffin's lair and the next I was in a swanky apartment that must have belonged to Lance, on my knees and bawling my eyes out. Lance crouched down in front of me and reminded me to breathe, because I'd started hyperventilating. His eyes were huge as I finally calmed down and started wiping the tears away from my eyes.

"Is he dead?" Lance demanded in horror.

Of course. I felt like an idiot. My reaction had obviously led Lance to believe that Griffin was in great danger from the Paladins, or else dead. I shook my head, feeling my cheeks flushing a heated red. I must look like a total moron.

"No! Nothing like that. I guess…I just overreacted…"

By the wry expression on Lance's face, he'd probably figured it out. Seriously, why did everyone seem to know before I even did? Jules, Lance…umm, wasn't I supposed to be the first one to know that I loved someone?

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Lance's tone was dry.

Then I was crying again, feeling all messed up. Yeah, I'd seen those movies when those girls cry because they're heartbroken. Well, movies forgot to mention that everything else hurts, too. It feels like you're breaking. Also, movies never mentioned this shit. Why was I crying when I loved him and he loved me? Wasn't it supposed to be okay?

Lance put his arms around me in a hug and for a moment I imagined him as Griffin, pressing myself fiercely into his chest…except Griffin would never be so caring. Disappointed, I disentangled myself from Lance's embrace. He regarded me critically.

"So, what, you told him?"

I nodded and sniffed. Wow, I must seem like such a sap.

"Yeah, and after a bit he said he loved me back…expect…oh, I don't know. It's so fucked up. He doesn't want anything because he's worried that the Paladins are going to hurt him by killing me like they have everyone else in his life."

Lance stroked his chin thoughtfully. Then he went into the kitchen after indicating for me to sit on the couch. He returned two minutes later with two bottles of beer. He offered me one, and although I don't usually drink beer because I find it disgusting, I thought this situation needed something. Ignoring the horrible taste, I downed about half the bottle in a couple of gulps.

Lance sighed heavily. "Well, Bec, you probably already know that Griffin's been through some pretty nasty stuff. But there's one thing he wouldn't have told you about. The Maria Santini incident." He took a gulp of his own beer and smiled sadly at my confused expression. "Griffin's life really is tragic. When Griffin was around sixteen, he fell in love with this Italian Jumper…Maria Santini. She was the same age as him, beautiful, smart…we all thought it was going to last forever."

I could see where this was going and I pitied Griffin more than ever. I also understood that there were more reasons for him pushing me away than I thought. He didn't want me to replace Maria Santini.

"But we all know the Paladins mess up everything. There was an ambush in Rome one time at one of the clubs. Well, you know Griffin…he fought like mad against them, except there was one guy with them who even Jumpers like Griffin know to be afraid of: Roman Larson."

I'd heard of him before. He was a sadistic Paladin who was known for 'playing with his dinner'. In other words, he liked to torture Jumpers for long periods of time before he'd kill them. I heard that he once had this poor Jumper girl for three weeks before he finally ended it. I suddenly felt cold as I realized I didn't remember the Jumper girl's name.

"Larson took Maria. I don't know what kind of shit he put her through for nearly a month, and I never want to. Except the horrible thing is, Griffin does. After Maria died, Larson left him a note detailing exactly what he'd done to her. I remember Griffin went pale and vomited in the nearest trash can. I've never seen him so shaken and Griffin's seen a lot of gory things. So if a note just describing what had happened could affect him so badly…I don't know."

"Didn't Griffin try and kill him?" I asked in barely more than a whisper.

Lance snorted. "Griffin wants to kill everyone. He goes after Paladins, yeah…except everyone knows you don't go after Larson. He bided his time, waited it out…yet he still hasn't had the opportunity to get Larson yet. You do it at the right time, or you're fucking dead."

So Maria had been the girl who'd been tortured for weeks. She'd only been sixteen. I felt sick at the thought of it. I hoped I would never meet this Roman Larson.

"What, so Griffin thinks Larson's going to get me and torture and kill me like he did to Maria?"

Lance downed more of his beer and shrugged.

"Who knows what Griffin thinks? All I know is it would have been easier if you were a Paladin."

I didn't understand. "How?"

Lance gave me a 'duh' look. I felt stupid but still didn't get it.

"Then he wouldn't have loved you."

I want to bawl again, but not for me. That would be selfish. I wanted to cry for what had happened to Maria, for Griffin…for all of it.