Chapter 12

"Are you ready?" I asked Ryan, Scot and Kelsi. The four of us stood outside of Chris Jeffers's house. Scot had reported that Marceline was already inside with her boyfriend.

Small world, was my mental response.

Ryan took my hand and gave it a small squeeze of reassurance. "We're ready."

My nerves were instantly calmed by his touch and gentle smile. The stereo was cranked up so loud inside, the bass shook the outside of the house. I self-consciously ran a hand through my hair and then knocked loudly on the wooden door. After knocking, I waited for a response. As I prepared to knock again, Chris answered the door.

"What's up, Bolton?" He greeted me.

"Yo." I gave an awkward nod. "I, uh, brought some friends."

He looked past me at my party. Ryan had intentionally toned it back. He wore a plain white dress shirt, a less clingy pair of jeans and a black fedora. I told him while we were getting ready earlier that day that he didn't have to tone it back and conform for anyone. I told him he had no reason to be afraid of Cody, Victor and their asshole friends. Calling Cody by his last name, Westmore, makes him sound more intimidating, somehow.

"I'm not afraid of them," Ryan had told me. No, the carefully guarded terror in his eyes existed for an entirely different reason.

But, still. If those bastards looked at him the wrong way, they would have me to answer to.

Chris held the door open wide to give us all room to enter. I watched Ryan wince as the deafening music hit his ears. If we were anywhere else, I would have had my arm draped around him and steered him somewhere with less noise and writhing bodies. Instead, we walked with a deliberate distance between us, hoping no one would be able to tell by looking how many hours we spent with our naked bodies interlocked, how many times I kissed him with all of the fondness in the world after pounding his beautiful round ass into the mattress.

Finally, I recognized Jake's spiky hair. I led Ryan, Kelsi and Scot over in his direction, happy to see that he was sitting with Marcus, a pretty girl that I assumed was the girlfriend Marcus gushed about, Charlotte, and Charlotte's boyfriend, Tyler Ross.

"Hey, guys!" I announced myself to them.

There was a chorus of greetings. I introduced Ryan, Scot and Kelsi, gesturing to each one.

After general introductions were done, Marcus nodded toward the girl he was with. "This is Jasmine, my girlfriend."

Jasmine had wavy brown hair with light brown highlights and striking hazel eyes. "Hello, Troy. Everyone." Her voice was like silk.

We returned her polite "hello".

I felt Ryan's hand brush my arm. I looked at him curiously and with his eyes, he pointed out something directly behind us. I turned to see what that "something" was, and a cold weight hit my stomach.

"Hey, Bolton," Cody Westmore slurred into my ear. I could feel myself scowling. "Who is this?" He prompted.

I watched his big hand come down on Ryan's shoulder. Although I refused to give Cody the satisfaction of looking at him, I could tell from his tone of voice that a smug smirk was on his face.

It took every ounce of my self-restraint to keep from slamming my fist into his face. I couldn't even look to Ryan for comfort because everyone would learn the nature of our relationship from the intensity in our eyes.

I knew that Ryan could tell what kind of effect Cody's presence was having on me. Even though it didn't show on his face, I knew that he was infuriated.

"This is Ryan," I began. My boyfriend, my mind finished, so you better take your filthy fucking hands off of him! "My friend," I finished aloud.

"You sure he's not your date?" His hand still hadn't moved from Ry's shoulder.

There was a movement from Scot.

"What about you, Parker?"

Jake sat up, rigid.

"D'you have a date, or are you guys in a threesome?"

Jake's gaze hardened. "Come on, man. Knock it off."

"Yeah," Marcus agreed. "It's not funny."

"Oh, whatever, you guys are all lames." Cody scoffed, turning away.

Ryan and I glared after him.

As the tension began to die out, Kelsi piped up, a stunned expression on her face, "Jeez, what is with that guy?"

"He's a fucking asshole,"I replied, fighting to keep my volume in check.

"Yeah, and he prob'ly has a tiny dick, too," Jake muttered.

"How long has he been harassing you guys?" Charlotte asked, her eyes wide and concerned.

"This is a recent development," I answered her. Breathe, that's it. In, out.

"I know that boy doesn't have a girlfriend," Jasmine remarked. "A girl would have to be outta her mind to date an asshole like that."

Scot's eyes were cold fire. Contempt hardened the light in them.

Just as I began to wonder what about this had him so pissed, I noticed Ryan hadn't moved or said a word throughout the ordeal. "Hey, Ry. You okay?"

He turned to me and murmured, "I'm fine." As he faced everyone else, he gave them a smile. It didn't fool me.

The party was in full swing. I stayed close to Ryan, for the most part. We found a nice place relatively out of sight in the kitchen to hang out. Charlotte sought us out.

"So, this is your boyfriend, Troy?"

"Yeah." A smile played on my face and I linked hands with Ryan.

"He's adorable!"

Ryan brushed the compliment off with a flick of his wrist. "Me? No way."

"Oh, just look at you!" Charlotte exclaimed. "You're so modest!"

"Hey, Char."

Ry and I looked up, disconnecting our hands and Charlotte turned at the voice that called her name.

It was Tyler. He turned an inquisitive gaze on me and Ryan. "You guys don't mind if I borrow my girlfriend, do you?"

"No," I replied.

"Not at all," Ryan chimed in.

Charlotte looked surprised, but when Tyler offered his arm to her, she took it and let him steer her away. Turning, she called back, "I'll talk to you guys later, alright?"

"Alright." We watched them go.

"She's friendly enough," Ryan murmured.

"Yeah," I smiled.

"She did seem somewhat off-put by his sudden appearance, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you see the look on her face when-?"

A sudden pressure on my bladder made me halt. "Ry, hold on. I have to go to the bathroom." A huge part of me kept me rooted there, however.

"Well, go. It's alright." Ryan gave me a nudge to send me on my way.

"But-!" I started.

"People would find it really suspicious if they saw both of us go into the bathroom together," he said in a low voice.

Like always, I found myself unable to argue with his logic. "Okay. I'll be right back." I promised him.

He shook his head, an amused smile playing on his petal lips as I gave him one last look before dashing off.

-It Only Hurts-

When I re-emerged from the bathroom, I heard Charlotte's voice calling my name. I looked around for her and she ran to me, her eyes wide with panic and desperation.

"Troy!" She gasped, the color drained from her face. "Troy, come quick! …Ryan!"

My blood pounding in my ears, I raced after her. Terror gripped my heart so powerfully, I could barely breathe. If people were staring at us or if they had carried on partying, completely oblivious, I can't say.

All I know is that when we re-entered the kitchen, I saw a petite, skinny blond boy laying on his back, a freshly formed bruise marring his pretty face, and a cut red with welling blood, under his lower lip. Pain ripped into my heart like blades.

"Troy," I heard Kelsi start, her voice quaking, "Sc-Scot and I heard him whimpering, and we came running…!" She broke off, as if unable to get the words out.

"That son of a bitch, Westmore!" Scot spat.

Violent fury rose in me. Cody Westmore. A red haze gathered in front of my eyes. My head was filled with visions of taking Cody Westmore with his douchey blond cowlick and punching him repeatedly until he bled. Until he felt pain equal to what he inflicted on Ryan. My beautiful Ryan… "Where the hell is that bastard?" I roared. "Where is he? I'll fucking kill him!"

"Troy… Troy, stop!" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw curly brunette hair. I felt a gentle but firm touch on my arm. "Troy, don't! Please," Kelsi's voice was begging me.

"Think of Ryan!" Charlotte reminded me frantically.

Ryan. The red haze dissipated.

"Troy," a light, feeble voice called to me.

My breath rate slowed. I felt my lower lip tremble as I forced myself forward on shaking legs. "I'm here, Ry," I assured him. "I'm right here." I dropped down on my knees beside him and took his hand into mine.

"Troy, don't you dare…try to fight him!" He relayed between agonized breaths. I watched his chest rise and fall weakly. Each breath he drew was labored, as if the mere actions of inhaling and exhaling were hurting him immeasurably.

My own breath got caught in my throat, like a jagged rock stuck in my windpipe. Relief that he was conscious and talking, and despair, horror and rage at his pain battled each other inside of me.

He tried to pull himself up only to cry out, clutching at his ribs.

"I won't fight him," I promised. "I won't. Just please, don't try to move!" My voice was low, quaking, so desperate, it was alien. I felt like a lost child. I was terrified. My Ryan was hurt, his ribs possibly broken, a red welt darkening on his face as that ugly bruise turned into a ghastly mixture of purple, blue and yellow.

A memory hit me. I remembered again how, after the accident, Ryan had pushed aside his own fear and maintained a calm exterior for my sake. At the moment, he was probably even more terrified than me, unable to move, to even breathe correctly. Taking in a breath, I knew it was my turn to assume the role of fearless leader. Just like that day when I walked in on him packing to head off to Juilliard, I had to be strong enough for both of us. Summoning my self-control, I turned to Charlotte and Kelsi. I cleared my throat, forcing that jagged piece of rock out. "Kelsi, call 9-1-1. Charlotte, tell everyone to clear a space out. Scot."

Scot looked up, the intensity of the cold fire in his eyes diluted.

"Get his legs. We've got to get him out of here."

With a half-nod, Scot joined me at Ryan's side.

I stepped around my boyfriend to link my arms under his. "Ry," I told him, making my voice even and reassuring, "hold on, babe. This is gonna hurt." I caught Scot's eye and nodded. Simultaneously, we lifted Ryan, doing our best to keep his body level. He's a featherweight, so it wasn't very difficult. Still, I can't stress how important handling him with care was.

The strain was evident on Ryan's face, but he grit his teeth in spite of the pain most likely racing through his torso like high voltage electricity. As much as it destroyed me to see him suffering from any sort of pain, I knew the only thing I could do was get him to a hospital.

Kelsi clicked her phone shut as Scot and I passed her. "The operator said to bring him in, Troy." Her lower lip quivered and the color completely left her face as tears streaked down it.

"It'll be alright, Kelsi,"I assured her, Ryan and myself.

"I'll be fine," Ryan joined in, his voice uncharacteristically hoarse and ragged, broken by again by shallow, pained gasps.

"Shh,"I quieted him. "You're hurting yourself more."

"Come on," Scot said softly, nodding to Kelsi.

She moved swiftly into us, hugging her arms around her tiny body.

Charlotte had done as I asked, and somehow magically cleared a path for us to pass through. People were staring and gossip spread like wildfire.

"What happened?"

"Did someone beat that boy up?"

"Was there a fight?"

"Aww, man. No one told me? You guys suck!"

"Why is Bolton carrying that boy?"

With the sound of the deafening music gone, my shaky breaths and Ryan's shallow ones were amplified. I couldn't linger on the rumors. I made myself concentrate on my main objective. Until I heard Jake speak up.

"Damn it, Westmore! I've had enough of your shit!"

My head whipped around, my blood ice as Jake approached Cody Westmore, his hazel eyes blazing.

That bastard Westmore had a devious smirk on his face, his eyes gleaming tauntingly. "Come on. Do something about it, you redneck pansy!" He shoved Jake, nearly knocking him over and into the crowd of bystanders. "Show me how much of a man you are!"

"You're just a punk ass son of a-!" Jake started, bearing his teeth as he moved forward again, his fist raised.

"Jake, stop!" Charlotte cried out. I watched her make a start for Jake only for Tyler's hand to close around her wrist and pull her back.

"What are you doing?" Tyler asked, his eyes wide with alarm.

"I can't let him…! I don't want to see anyone else hurt tonight!" She jerked her arm, breaking free of Tyler's grip and ran to Jake as he advanced on Cody. "Jake, please. Don't." Grabbing hold of his arm, she looked up fearfully into his eyes.

That must have been enough convincing for Jake. He did lower his fist and turn away, but not before spitting on Cody first.

"You little shit!" Cody spat. Marcus and Chris had to run in and hold him back to keep him from lunging at Jake.

After Cody's momentary struggle against his restraints, the tension was just subsiding. It shot up again as I recognized Marceline's voice. "I can't believe you had a hand in this! …That you would-!"

Her accusations were being directed at a stricken Victor Rodriguez. My heart missed a beat as I connected the dots. Victor is Marceline's boyfriend? Or was?

"Marceline, I can explain-! Victor offered desperately. "We caught that puto snooping around, and-"

"'Puto"?" The sound of a slap rang out.

Victor rubbed at his cheek, stupefied.

"That "puto", happens to be a friend of mine. And if you can't accept that," Marceline whirled on the heels of her steel-toe boots, her entire body tensed and shaking. Ryan and I had never seen her like this. It was… perturbing, to say the least. "…Then hasta la vista, pandejo!"

She joined me, Ryan, Scot and Kelsi. Scot gave her a burning look and she met it steadily before averting her eyes. The five of us quickly left, not looking back. I sent up a prayer to whatever higher power there is that Jake, Charlotte, Marcus and Jasmine would all get out without problems.

Kelsi and Marceline took the back seat of the rental car. They helped to gently drape Ryan across their laps.

I removed Ry's hat and wiped at the cold sweat forming on his delicate brow. "You'll be alright," I assured him. "You're strong." Slightly turning his face, I kissed his bruise-free right cheek. Pulling back, I took in the upside down view of his face. Even from that angle, I saw the fierce and brilliant sparkle fading from his sky colored eyes. "You're a fighter," I told him, brushing a few gelled locks of golden blond away to press my lips against his forehead. I felt his brows knitting together under my lips as he gasped, taking in another shallow breath.

When I pulled away, he took my hand and clasped it tightly. I felt wretched. I didn't want to leave him. But… He let go of my hand and nodded slightly, giving me the okay.

"We'll look after him, okay, Troy?' Marceline squeezed my shoulder, her brown eyes soft.

"Okay." I gave Ryan one last look, then ran around and climbed into the driver's seat.

"You'll be fine, sweetie," Marceline murmured soothingly to Ryan. I could see her stroke his hand when I looked into the mirrors to fix them.

The drive to the hospital was agony. Scot and Marceline took turns trying to console Kelsi, but nothing they said seemed to work. Finally giving up, Scot switched on the radio, trying to take the edge off of all of our anxieties. I appreciate it, but Nickelback and Taio Cruz could not drown out the haunting sound of Ryan's pitiful inhalations as they ate at me. And Lady Gaga couldn't stop me from turning back to check on Ryan at every stop light.

-Once Upon A Time In New York City-

"I hate to say this, but they're definitely broken."

The news wasn't unexpected, but I still jumped at hearing it confirmed.

Ryan's reaction was to lower his head defeatedly.

It made my skin prickle. I've heard sometimes in bad situations, people go completely numb. Their senses are deadened to everything going on around them. They like, completely detach themselves from reality and shut down to cope. That didn't happen to me, or Ryan, like it did with the car crash. I was perfectly aware of everything, too aware.

The doctor, a thirty-something year old man with the name Donald Lawson printed on his name tag, and who was lucky enough to still have a full, thick hairline, pointed out the breakage on the x-ray. "It's a relatively clean break," he announced. "It shouldn't take more than six weeks to heal." He went over to his computer and emailed the Evans family's physician in order to prescribe Ryan with a painkiller.

Once he filled out the prescription for some Advil, Ry and I thanked Dr. Lawson and I helped Ryan back out the door to the car. Knowing full well of the long drive ahead, I made a stop at the nearest drug store, a CVS, and picked up the Advil and a bottle of water. The pharmacist gave me an odd look when I told her I was picking up my boyfriend's prescription, but thankfully kept quiet, probably knowing how messed up and overly lucid I was.

Marceline helped me prop Ryan up so he could swallow his pill. He began coughing furiously, and for a second, I thought he was choking on the gulp of water, but after a moment, the coughing stopped and he lowered himself back onto the cushion Marceline was providing for his head.

More troubled than I could possibly describe, I returned to the driver's seat and began the drive home. Before leaving, Kelsi took one of Ryan's hands and told him, "You better get well soon, Mr. Choreographer."

If she'd said that in a better situation, I probably would have smiled. I thanked her for everything she did that night.

She gave me a weak smile and thanked me in return.

"I'm alright," Ryan told her. "Don't worry."

Kelsi turned away.

Scot promised to call her later.

We watched her walk into the big school before we drove away.

Marceline and Scot both helped me take Ryan to the apartment. For the first time in my life, I used an elevator instead of taking the stairs.

"I'm really sorry about Victor," I told Marceline.

"Don't worry about it." Even though she brushed it off, I could tell she had been cut deeply.

"It wasn't your fault," Ryan spoke up, his voice still hoarse as if he had a bad cold or hadn't spoken in days.

"I know." Marceline managed a half-hearted smile before meeting Scot's eyes.

I can make him pay, his eyes read.

Don't waste your time, was her response.

When we reached our floor, the four of us parted ways. Ryan became increasingly despondent, pulling into himself. It deeply unnerved me. I helped him undress and get into the cramped shower. He sat there in the tub, worn out from everything.

Gently, I reached out and, as lightly as I could with my big, stupid hands, I brushed the bruise on his soft cheek with my knuckle. He hardly winced. The pain killer was obviously doing its job.

"I ruined it…" Ryan's voice was subdued, the summery blue of his eyes dark and haunted. "This was supposed to be my chance… our chance. Now, because of me, you'll never be able to show your face to any of those people again."

"That's not true, Ry. I have some really good friends in that group. They'll defend me."

Neither of us had to voice the thought that hung unspoken between us; At what cost?

My eyes fixed on the purple bruise on the left side of his ribcage. I couldn't decide whether or not I hated it more than the hideous bruise on his face.

"Cody Westmore apparently has excellent gaydar. You're far from obvious, Troy, but he knows. He and that other asshole," Ry's voice cracked slightly, "Victor, were discussing their nefarious plan to expose you. They didn't see me standing there until it was too late. I threatened that bastard Cody with every bit of power my family has. I managed to dodge his first blow as he threw the usual set of names at me; "cock sucker". "Fairy". The next thing I knew, two sets of arms were holding me back…" He stared at spot on the floor of the tub where the paint was chipping away. "I should have known that struggling was useless. And then-" He flinched, his eyes squinting shut. "Big fists slammed into me, pummeling me and I wanted to punch myself for sounding so pathetic and weak. I whimpered like a spineless bitch." He swallowed, shaking his head in detest. "Kelsi came running with Scot on her heels. When they heard Kelsi cry out and Scot threaten to "beat the living shit" out of all of them, Cody punched me one final time, and I heard, and felt my ribs snap."

I stared at him, unable to find my tongue. Again, so many emotions were fighting inside of me, I had no idea how to feel or react.

Ryan's eyes moved to a spot in the interior of the tub right in front of him. "Everyone at that party saw you carry me out, Troy…and they're all going to..!" He cut himself off off as if the thought was too much for him to handle. "They want to destroy you, Troy… and I gave them the ultimate weapon to-!"

"Stop that," I told him, my voice soft, but firm. Unshakably firm. "Nothing is going to happen to me, Ryan. And none of the shit that happened tonight is Kelsi's fault, or yours, okay? None of it, Ryan."

I turned the knobs and warm water rushed out of the rusted faucet. I took some of Ry's Suave ocean scented body wash, lathered the gel up, then carefully rubbed it onto his body. He sighed into my touch and I felt a twinge in my jeans, but I ignored it. Fucking someone who had been beaten-up, and had their ribs broken only about an hour and a half ago, seemed pretty screwed-up to me.

After washing his hair, I helped him out of the bath and he dressed for bed. For the first time, I noticed the way the floor boards creaked under my weight and it irked me. Ryan, however, was way too quiet.

"Do you wanna listen to music?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

I switched on the boom box we had bought to spruce up the place and was greeted by a familiar melody from the days of my childhood spent on the couch beside my mom, watching whatever romance or family friendly movie she had on: "Once Upon A Time In New York City", that haunting song that played over the opening of Disney's "Oliver and Company" while the little orange kitten, Oliver struggled just to stay alive on the cruel streets of New York City.

Now, here we were. After taking off my shirt, I had no energy to do anything else. Under the music, I could hear the steady pattering of rain, and watched raindrops splatter against the window pane, distorting the bright city lights.

Carefully, Ryan curled up on the bed, not bothering with the covers. "I've fucked up…" he murmured, his voice eerily flat. "My first chance, and I've fucked it up so completely."

"Hey, no you haven't." I made my way over, cautiously joining him on the bed. "What happened tonight is just a minor setback. Your chance isn't gone unless you think it is."

He didn't reply.

I rubbed a hand down his back, able to feel the bumps of his spinal cord, even through his t-shirt. He was so fragile and I realized that more than his ribs had been broken that night. My arms wrapped around him. I was desperate to give him some form of comfort. To let him know that I was there.

He melted against me, his tension leaving him.

Under the voice of Huey Lewis, I could make out the sound of Ryan giving a sob as the tears rolled down his face and onto the pillow.

Keep your dream alive

Dreamin' is still how

The strong

Survive

Once upon a time

In New York City

A lump rose in my throat and it took everything to keep myself from falling to pieces.

A/N: Next chapter: Troy, Ryan and Kelsi return to Albuquerque for the Holidays.