hey people! its me again! again, i'm really sorry for that really long pause between chapters. you know the last time I updated my chapters? last june! I'm like, wow. I am so behind. Yea, so next is actually Jacob as promised, and if Crazily Sane Pancake and Pearberry are still reading this, (yes, I still remember you guys!) I still owe you a shiny trophy or a character based off yourselves in the chapter. Oh yes, I read breaking dawn, so now this is going to be post breaking dawn. So pretend the show stopped for a year because of writers strike or whatever. Okay, so continuing...
"Welcome back to Moment of Truth! I'm your host, Marklyn Wally and today we will be interviewing Annabelles best friend, Jason White!," Marklyn exclaimed girlishly, giggling as the camera took in Marklyns pink and purple princess dress and tiara, as well as...
"Are those...boobs?" Bella asked, motioning to the lumps on Marklyns chest. Edward, looking horrified, covered Nessie's and Bella's eyes.
Jacob strutted in, conveniently without a shirt, to half the fan girls in the audiences happiness. You see, after the movie came out, Jacob and Edward started getting stalked by crazy fangirls...and fanguys in some cases.
Flexing his muscles, Jacob took his seat next to Marklyn.
Man! He's hott!!! Look at those abs! Hmmm....
Almost as hot as Edmund! Edward heard Marklyn think and made a face.
"Helloooo ," Marklyn giggled, fluttering his eyelashes.
"Yo, sup, foo." Jacob said, making those weird hand moves that gansters did.
"Um? Okay..so um...your Jason White, right?" Marklyn asked, distracted.
"I LOVE YOU JACOB!!!!!! YOUR SO PRETTY" screamed a fan girl in the middle of the audience screamed.
"PRETTY UGLY BITCH, YOU MEAN! STUPID JACKASS! GO F—K your self and leave BELLA AND NESSIE ALONE!!!" another fangirl screamed .
"BITCH FIGHT!" Emmett screamed, as the two fan girls began bitch slapping eachother.
"Um..security!" Marklyn called as two ninjas bowed and took the two fan girls away.
"So anyway, Jason or Jacob or Jack or whatever..." Marklyn continued.
"You can call me dawg, foo!" Jacob rapped.
"Okay...so um, for the last couple of years, you were going head over heels over...Annabella and then all of a sudden, your after her infant daughter?" Marklyn asked, dissapointed at his slim chances of scoring a date."
Jacob stood up and threw his hoodie over his head.
"Yo, yo, listen up, dawgs,
this is my story, it ain't no fraud
I had the hots for Bella
as she is so yella
...
"Wait...Annabella isn't asian..." Marklyn pointed out.
"Just let me finish, dawg." Jacob said angrily, then proceeded to continue.
"She was my sunshine
in my shrine
but she was after the hill
so i told bella whos so yella
why go for the hill when you can get the mountain
but then bella whos so yella
said no, fella, I'm after the gayanise
so i went, no way, hella. eat your peas
yo i could not believe dat shit
so im like shaddup you pit
so then bella got the bats baby bats
and i saw that baby bad
and then i realized
ooh! a slave fo later!
hizzle fizzle shizzle
ardizzle mizzle kadizzle
........
fizzle.
Jacob sat back down.
Bella looked enraged and looked for something to throw at him. Seeing as she had nothing, Bella threw Nessie at him. "DIE You CHILD ABUSER!" Bella screeched.
Marklyn caught Nessie and handed her off to security. "WAIT! MY BABY!" Edward screamed, running off to security.
"That rap made no since. Pits? Gayanise? I didn't get it at all!" Marklyn said, "Oooh, my braiin hurts."
"Shut up, foo dawg. Thats my shit, you better not take the pits.y Jacob rapped back angrily.
"You are aware that marrying a kid is illegal right? Thats sick!" Marklyn spat back, angry that he made fun of his favorite word, gayinise.
"DON"T MAKE ME PULL MY GUN!" Jacob screamed, pulling out a water gun.
"Next question! Jason, do you have balls of fury?" Marklyn asked randomly.
Jacob paused. "Whatt?"
Marklyn took this moment to nod to security who tied him back.
"Next real question! How big is your ball?" Marklyn asked in what he thought was seductive.
"Bigger then bat boys ova there," Jacob said angrily.
"YOU STINK, DOG BOY!" One of Edwards fans screamed. With that, Jacob turned into a were ran toward the audience and ate the fan girl.
The audience fell into a brief moment of silence until they started running out, screaming.
s
"Well, thats it for now! Join us next week! AAAAH!!!" Marklyn screamed as Jacob tried to chew his head off.
Okay, that was really lame, but I have a writers block. I may update this later, but I need people to give me more questions.
Review pleeeeaaaasee.