Test of Courage
Harumi sighed for the umpteenth time. "Hey guys, aren't we getting too old for this kind of thing?"
"Nonsense!" Chiharu beamed a ghostly smile illuminated by the yellow light of her flashlight. "The highlight of summer vacation is the test of courage!"
Their little group was at the outskirts of the woods with flashlights in their hands. After Amaya, Oishi, Eiji and Harumi had come back from the yacht trip, they had had dinner around the campfire with Fuji, Jiro, Yuriko and Chiharu, and then Chiharu had seen the organizers of the test of courage promoting their event on the beach and had signed all of them up without getting their consent, as usual. Harumi rolled her eyes and slid her hands inside the sleeves of her jacket. It was a warm night at the beach, but she couldn't stop the shiver that travelled through her entire body at the thought of this game.
She did not like tests of courage one bit. Strolling through the darkness of the woods with just her flashlight as source of light? Going and entering some haunted cabin on top of the cliff as the dark waves of the ocean crashed against the rocks underneath them?
"No thanks," she muttered and obstinately shook her head. "Sorry guys, I will be sitting this one out."
Amaya nudged her in the ribs. "Don't be such a chicken, Harumi. This will be fun! Besides, we will not be doing this alone, right?"
"We better not!" Harumi grunted fiercely.
Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around, only to clasp her head in her hands and scream her lungs out when she saw Fuji's face rendered creepy by the yellow light under his chin. She barely recovered with one hand plastered against her chest, and shouted over the laughter of the others: "DON'T YOU DO THAT AGAIN, FUJI SYUSUKE."
Fuji laughed and patted her shoulder comfortingly. "Mah, I'm sorry Harumi. Come with us. You have nothing to fear."
She eyed him suspiciously. "How come that doesn't reassure me one bit? Especially after what you just pulled on me!"
Yuriko giggled behind her hand. "Precisely, Harumi-chan. He is creepier than any ghosts you might encounter. I think it will be quite safe with him."
Harumi grunted, not able to deny the truth of those words.
She turned around her eyes met with Eiji's as the redhead approached the group with more flashlights in a box, along with drawn maps of the path across the woods to the cabin on the cliff.
He handed her a copy of the map and she took it without looking at him.
Eiji studied her face for a moment and then moved on to the others.
To be honest, she was still troubled by his words on the yacht. He had played it off as a joke and she had played it off along with him, but there was something in his eyes… a look, a shadow of emotion, that told her his words had not been a joke.
Don't go. I'm not letting you go.
What does this mean? She asked herself. And does it even matter? Why should it matter? He was going to say the words that you had been dying to hear, but that was back then. And you are back to Japan now. So it doesn't matter anymore.
Except that it did.
Because now she wondered what she would have done if he had said those words to her back then. Back then, everyone had hugged her and had told her, with tears in their eyes, that she should leave with her family. The only one who had come close to stopping her had been Amaya. The raven-haired girl had looked at her with concern and had enquired softly: "Are you sure? Are you sure this is the best for you?" And Harumi had nodded bravely, because what else could she do?
However, if Eiji had said those words to her…
"I would probably still have left," she murmured to herself. "It was the right thing to do. For my brother."
I don't care what's the right thing to do. All I know is that I need you here, and here is where you will stay, his words resounded in her mind, troubling her more than she cared to admit.
"Harumi?"
Her head jerked up and she met Amaya's soft gaze. "H-hai?"
"Are you all right? You have been awfully quiet ever since we came back from the yacht."
Harumi smiled. "Yes, of course. I'm just a bit scared. Do I really have to do this?" she ended her question with a reluctant pout.
A glint came alive in Amaya's eyes. "Yes, you do! Like I said, you will be pairing up with someone! Jiro said we shall decide that by luck just to spice things up a little."
Somehow "spicing things up" and "Jiro" didn't really go together in her mind, but she let it go with an arched eyebrow. She let Amaya drag her to the entrance to the woods, where Chiharu stood like a vigilante with a bottle containing sticks.
"If you pick the same color, you will team up!" she announced with a smirk.
Harumi saw a glint in her green eyes that brought her back to her middle school days when the girls used to do Plan As and Plan Bs. Somehow, she had the impression that this whole thing was rigged already. She let out a loud sigh, but stepped forward to pick her stick from the bottle nonetheless.
It came out with a black band at the bottom.
"Red!" Chiharu yelled. "Who has red?"
Eiji lifted his stick. "Me!"
Chiharu poked her tongue out. "How fitting. The two redheads together!" She bounced towards Eiji and linked his arm with hers. "Well, we better win this thing, nya."
"Hoi, that's my thing!"
Chiharu yanked him after her. "Not anymore, nya! We are a team now, nya. Better get used to it, miaou!"
Harumi couldn't help it; she burst out laughing at the look of pure horror on Eiji's face as Chiharu dragged him away.
She turned towards Fuji. "Which color do you have? Black?"
Fuji examined his under his flashlight. "No, I have purple."
"Oh," she let out in disappointment.
"Oh! I have purple too!" Yuriko exclaimed as she came close. Her ruby eyes gleamed excitedly. "All right! Let's do this, Syusuke!"
Fuji sweatdropped at Harumi's narrowed eyes and smiled at her apologetically before following after Yuriko.
Harumi sighed and turned around in time to see Oishi and Amaya bumping their blue sticks together. "I can face anything if I'm with my darling," she teased him flirtatiously.
Oishi blushed a little, but looked very happy as he guided her into the woods.
Harumi felt a cold chill travel down her spine. Slowly, she pivoted towards Jiro and the black stick in his hand.
Oh no! Why do I have to be with him? He hates me. I'm sure he does…
She wanted to cry internally, but instead:
"J-Jiro-kun," she greeted with an uncertain smile.
Jiro studied his stick for a long time, as though he were fascinated with it, before he put it inside the pocket of his shorts. His black eyes rolled down towards her face and then back to the woods. "Let's go," he said monotonously.
Harumi played with a pan of her t-shirt nervously as she hurried up after him.
When they entered the woods, the others had already disappeared. Harumi noticed that she was crumpling the map in her tight grip and forced her hand to relax. She unfolded the map clumsily and cleared her throat as she brought it closer to Jiro's flashlight.
Jiro's eyes immediately shot down towards her hovering body. "What are you doing?"
She looked up at him with a shaky smile. "Just borrowing your light to try and figure out the map."
Jiro glanced at the piece of paper she was holding. "That is useless."
"Is that so?"
"It's just a drawing. I bet it's not even accurate."
She looked around them at the dark trees looming close. All sorts of bugs were chirping in the night, creating a buzzing concerto. Harumi suddenly wanted nothing more than to run back to the beach resort.
When she reported her attention back, she saw that he was already far ahead of her. She bit her lip and ran to catch up to him. She tried to figure out the map for another 30 seconds before giving up. He was right. The map was just a badly drawn bunch of lines and circles that represented nothing.
"If we follow this path, we will be at the cabin soon enough. Is this really a test of courage?"
Harumi sweatdropped. "You must not be scared of a lot of things, Jiro-kun."
Jiro shot her another of his dark looks. "And you seem to be easily scared, Yamazaki-chan."
"Well, I just don't like dark places. I've never have."
"Have you had a bad experience before?"
Harumi looked down at the circle of light illuminating the forest floor up ahead. Outside that circle, everything was gloomy, as though the darkness was alive and was trying to eat away at the light.
She crossed her arms on her chest. "Not really. I've just never liked it. I have quite a vivid imagination and what I can't see, my mind makes up for it, sometimes a bit too well." She let out a nervous giggle. "It is handy when I write my books, but right now, not so much."
To that, Jiro did not reply.
Harumi tried to scan the road ahead, anxious to get to the cabin already. It couldn't be more ominous than walking beside Jiro in the dark forested road.
Chiharu was whistling happily as she walked up the stairs of the old cabin. They were the first team to reach the hut, and she was ecstatic because of it. The floors creaked eerily under her sandals, but she paid it no heed at all. Eiji, however, was hovering close behind her, looking around frantically at the broken mirror on the wall and the half destroyed desk underneath it.
"Do we really have to go upstairs?" he moaned.
One piercing green eye looked back at him from above her shoulder. "Kikumaru, Kikumaru" she chastised, "aren't you supposed to be the one leading?"
"This place gives me the creeps!" he replied with a pout. "I wouldn't be surprised if it were haunted!"
Chiharu twirled around and put up both hands beside her face like two cat paws. "Nyang! I'm the ghost of the queen of cats!"
Eiji seized her wrist. "Stop it, will you? Stop stealing my nyas!"
Chiharu laughed and Eiji cringed when her laughter echoed somberly along the dusty walls. She sprinted upstairs and took one of the stone squares on the table.
She held it up triumphantly with a hand on her hip. "Look, Kikumaru! We came first! Now let's just take this and go back to the beach. I wonder if they are handling out prizes for first place winners?"
At this, Eiji's face lit up for the first time since they had started the test. "I sure hope so! Let's go back now."
Chiharu smiled and turned to leave. She was sprinting down the stairs, still whistling, when one of the steps suddenly gave way underneath her foot with a crack. Eiji hurried to the staircase when he heard her scream. He peaked down the staircase worriedly and saw her sprawled down at the foot of the stairs, holding her ankle.
"Ita, ita!" she hissed as she rubbed her ankle.
Eiji went down the stairs quickly, but carefully, and knelt down beside her. "Are you okay, Shima-chan?"
"I think I sprained my ankle. Oh great! How unlucky!"
"You shouldn't have been running around so carelessly in this old shack."
"Oh, spare me the educational speech Kikumaru, will you?" she said, all traces of merriness gone from her voice.
She frowned in pain when she tried to get up and bit back a cry. Eiji gave her his arm for support as he helped her up with his other hand. She immediately tried putting weight on her injured ankle, but it gave way underneath her. The redhead caught her again before she could fall. "Moh, stop moving around Shima-chan. You will only make it worse."
He sighed at her stubbornness and then crouched down in front of her with his back to her. "Here, I will carry you back to the beach. You should put some ice on that ankle before it starts swelling up for real."
Chiharu considered him for a moment with her eyes shining very bright in the gloom.
Then, she leaned against his back and passed her arms around his neck. "Take another path to go back. I don't want the others to see me like this. How humiliating, really!"
Eiji was confused as he stood up with her on his back. "What is so humiliating about this? It was an accident."
She looked down. "Just go."
After Eiji left the cabin, he went down the cliff from a different path that the one they had used to come to the cabin, and then they were in the woods once more. For long minutes, only the sound of Eiji's sandals crunching on the grassy twigs of the forest floor could be heard. Chiharu remained silent as she swung her legs a little on either side of him.
"I don't remember the last time I was piggy-backed," she suddenly confessed in a voice that seemed strangely fragile to her own ears.
Eiji smiled. "Are you comfortable, nya?"
Chiharu lost herself in contemplation of the dark trees going past on either side of her as Eiji walked down the slope. The evening was warm, and the back of his shirt was damp with sweat.
A look of guilt crossed her green eyes. "You are a nice guy, Kikumaru."
He laughed. "How should I reply to this? You are nice too, Shima-chan. Sometimes?"
She rested her cheek against his shoulders and a dreamy look entered her eyes. "Neh, Kikumaru. Would you ever date me?"
She felt him stiffen up and almost drop her. He stopped walking and awkwardly tried to look at her from above his shoulder.
"Ha… very funny!"
"I'm serious," she answered.
"Eto…" he stammered.
Chiharu could feel Eiji's brain overworking just from looking at the tension in his neck muscles. A sense of amusement grew within her, mixed with confusion about why she had started this conversation in the first place. She was about to laugh it off as a joke when he said in a serious tone that she rarely heard him use. "Do you like me, Shima-chan?"
She felt her heart thumping harder in spite of herself. "And if I said yes?"
He put her down and twirled around to look at her. Dark blue eyes bore into green ones. There was an intensity on his face that she had never seen before that made her swallow.
His voice was soft and his eyes were sad when he replied: "Shima-chan, we have been friends for a long time and… well…You are a pretty girl. I know any guy will be lucky to date you, but I have too much going on right now, and…
"You don't like me that way," she finished for him.
He blinked at the smile on her lips. Then horror invaded his eyes. "Were you joking?"
She burst out laughing, holding her stomach. Eiji clasped his hands in his hair. "You are terrible!"
Wiping off a tear, Chiharu looked at him. "My oh my, Kikumaru! You never cease to amaze me. Is that how you rejected Mai also? Your bluntness is a weapon!"
Eiji's cheeks turned as red as the roots of his hair.
"I almost feel like leaving you in the woods," he started accusingly and backed away until Chiharu started screaming at him pleadingly as she limped to catch up.
"Fine! But don't do that ever again!"
"Haiiii, gomenasaiiii" she appeased him with an innocent grin.
Finally, Eiji accepted to carry her once more after he deemed she had apologized enough.
When the white sand of the beach came into view from amidst the branches, Chiharu pointed to a dot on the far side. "That's the resort. Not far now."
After another ten minutes, they finally arrived at the resort. Chiharu inserted her key, opened the front door and turned on the lights. Eiji's eyes widened when he saw the shiny floorboards and the glassy walls giving view to the beach and the dark ocean beyond. He let out a low whistle of appreciation.
Chiharu hopped to the fridge and came back with a bag of ice that she deposited on her swollen ankle with a sigh of relief. Eiji went to fetch themselves two glasses of orange juice.
Chiharu sipped some from hers before putting the glass down. She eyed Eiji who was now following with avid interest the dozens of colorful fish swimming back and forth in an aquarium set in the middle of the salon.
"There is only one person you will always have time to date, no matter how crazy your schedule is," she let out all of a sudden.
Eiji looked away from the fish confusedly and met Chiharu's serious glare. "Admit it, Kikumaru. To me, it is as clear as day."
Slowly, the smile waned from his face, replaced by a frown.
"What…"
"Maybe you don't even realize it yourself yet," she interrupted, "or maybe you do, but you are just turning the other way. There is enough awkwardness in our group already, you must be thinking. There is no need to add more."
The confused lines on Eiji's brow slowly morphed into an undecipherable expression. "What are you talking about?"
Chiharu took her time to drink a sip of her orange juice, her green eyes studying him from above the rim of the glass. Finally, she set down her drink, making the ice cubes inside swirl and clank.
"Harumi," she stated. "Ha-ru-mi. You're still in love with her, aren't you?"
Eiji turned away from her stiffly, gripping his own glass hard in his hand. "Absolutely not. Don't be ridiculous. She is just a friend now."
"Mmhmm. Listen, Kikumaru, I don't usually meddle in other people's business… actually, scratch that. It is my job to meddle in other people's business when Naoki is not present, so let me give you some advice. You haven't gotten over her in three years, even when she wasn't here, even after you thought she hated you. And now that she's back in your life, there is no chance, zero, that your feelings will go away. So you should tell her again."
"No!" Eiji hammered with clouds of cold anger in his usually warm dark blue eyes. "No, Shima! Do you hear me? Don't go around spreading that kind of gossip. Harumi made a choice back then and I respected it! It's over!"
"A choice? And what's a choice but a bunch of words? Choices change, Kikumaru. People change also. That choice was three years ago, and this is now."
Eiji shook his head at her. "You are crazy. She is happy with Fujiko now. Even if hypothetically I still had feelings for her, then I would still keep silent about it. Because that would be what's best for her, for Fuji, for everyone, including me! Telling her something like that would destroy the friendship we have worked so hard to rebuild."
"Friendship," Chiharu snorted. "A friendship that's eating you up from the inside. What's so nice about that? Why is it always about her? You should think about yourself too, Kikumaru."
Eiji slammed the juice down on the table. "You don't understand. When you love someone, you can't always think about yourself. Sometimes love is about letting go."
He suddenly flushed a deep scarlet, realizing that he had all but admitted out loud that he was still in love with Harumi.
However, Chiharu seemed not to have noticed. She stood up so violently she sent the bag of ice flying from her ankle. "What a bunch of crap!" she yelled. "Do you think you are the self-sacrificing hero in a novel? This is your life! Loving someone is never about letting go; it's about holding on to the person, no matter what!"
She hovered to the glass door and pressed her palm against it. Eiji could see from the reflection in the glass that she was crying.
"You useless men," she declared in a thick voice. "That's all you know how to say. "I love you, so I'm letting you go." What a bunch of crap!"
She turned wildly towards Eiji. "I loved someone too, you know? I know it doesn't seem like it to you, but it's true. I was prepared to do anything for him. I knew our status was not the same, but I was ready to work for it, whatever it took. If I become a well-known model, would that be enough? Then his mother would have nothing to say, I bet!"
She racked a hand through her hair, letting it fall on her shoulders like fire. "But he betrayed me! He did something unforgivable to me! And then he still said he loved me, that he did it for my own good!"
Eiji blinked. "Are you talking about Atobe?"
Chiharu bit her lip and looked away.
Eiji slowly edged closer and put his hands on her shoulders. "What did he do to you, Shima-chan?"
Chiharu's chin started trembling and suddenly tears overflew from her eyes. "I was pregnant with his child," she found herself confessing in a small, shaky voice. For a second, horror invaded her eyes at the fact that she had spoken those words out loud, but then more words were soon tumbling out of her mouth: "I thought for sure then he would convince his mother to let us marry, but he…"
She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. "He forced me to get an abortion. He said: "if you love this child, let him go. What will his life be like to be born to a single mother who is still in university? Let him go." I don't know why I listened to him. I've regretted it ever since. I don't… I don't know why I even told you this. I haven't told anyone yet… I…"
She shook her head as she suppressed another sob, then pushed open the door and rushed outside, limping.
Eiji stood there for a moment in shock, before rushing out of the resort, yelling her name. However, the beach to both sides of him was empty.
Chiharu was gone.
Harumi picked up the last stone from the table in the second floor of the cabin and looked around wearily when a guff of wind made the walls squeak and crack.
"It looks like we are the last ones," she commented upon noticing that no more stones remained on the table.
Jiro looked disinterested as he directed his flashlight around the dusty room instead.
"What are you doing?" she enquired uncertainly from behind him.
Jiro handed her the flashlight and stretched out the thumb and index on both of his hands, touching his finger tips together to form a rectangle in front of his eyes, through which he slowly looked at everything inside the room. Harumi peered over his shoulder and saw that he had centered his hands on a broken mantelpiece on the opposite wall.
"Ano… do you want to take a picture of that?" she asked.
"I don't have my camera with me. I will frame it like this in my mind so that I remember to come back later to look for it."
Harumi inspected the mantelpiece and found it pretty creepy and not photo-worthy, but she didn't say so. Instead, she passed her orange camera from over her head and handed it out to him. "You can use this for now, if you want."
Jiro looked at it, his face expressionless. Just when Harumi thought he would not accept, he took it from her hands and turned it on.
The young girl stood back, shuffling awkwardly on her feet, as white light from her camera flashed inside the dark room when Jiro set to work.
These people into photography sure find beauty in the strangest things.
"How did you get to know Syusuke, Jiro-kun?"
Without stopping his camera-work, Jiro replied briefly: "I met him when I joined the photography club in high school that Yuriko-chan started."
"You and Yuriko-chan, you seem to know each other pretty well."
Flash. "Yes. We have been friends since we were young. And you and Fuji, how did you two meet?"
Harumi blinked. It was the first time that Jiro had shown enough interest to ask her a question. "Me? I met him when I transferred to Seigaku middle school." A small smile played on her lips at the memory. "It seems like ages ago now."
"Hmmm," Jiro simply said.
Another flash.
Then, he turned his unsettling black eyes towards her. She sustained his gaze but played with her hands nervously under his scrutiny. "Neh, why do you always look at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know. I just have the impression that you are angry with me for some reason."
His ponytail swung a little when he suddenly walked up to her. Harumi's eyes widened and she backed away until her back touched a chair. Jiro was looming over her now, and suddenly she was scared.
Jiro leaned in close, his black eyes seeming to be all-encompassing. "People say that about me a lot," he mumbled as he simply dropped the camera back into her limp hands. "Come on, let's get going now."
For some reason, she couldn't believe him.
"Wait," she heard herself whispering. "Is that really it? If there is something I have done to offend you, I want you to tell me. You are good friends with Syusuke, aren't you? In that case, I wish we can get along too."
He slowly turned towards her and studied the determined look in her purple eyes.
"You are different," he mumbled.
"What?"
Jiro shrugged. "You are different from the way Syusuke-kun described you to be."
Her heart started pounding at this. "He talked about me? What did he say?"
Oh God! That Syusuke! I hope he doesn't go around telling everyone all the clumsy things I do!
Jiro's voice was calm when he replied: "That you are a weak girl. That he needs to protect you and treat you like you are made of glass."
Harumi's heart stopped altogether as her smile waned from her face. She clenched the stone hard enough to leave a mark in her palm. Her wide eyes clung to those, expressionless, of Jiro.
"He would never say that about me. Why are you lying?"
"I am not."
"He would never say that about me to you!" she yelled.
"Not to me," Jiro replied calmly. "He told that to Yuriko-chan. I just happened to overhear it."
"That's even more ridiculous! I don't believe you!" she threw at him, her purple eyes brimming with challenge. "I don't know why you are saying these things to me, but I think we need to part ways now. Good night."
She forced her stiff legs to carry her towards the door. She tripped a little on a dusty object on the ground but continued on her way.
"Why would I lie?" Jiro's monotonous voice drifted to her from behind.
She shut her eyes.
Shut up! Shut up!
"Do you remember how you lost your mind when your parents passed away? That must have been quite traumatizing for Fuji as well, to have his girlfriend not even recognize him for a time."
A deep tremor started in her hands, enveloped her elbows and soon took hold of her entire being.
"H-how do you know that? He talked… about that t-to you?"
"Not to me," Jiro repeated in that monotonous and dead voice of his that she was now coming to hate, "he was talking to Yuriko-chan."
Harumi threw open the door of the cabin and ran away from Jiro, from the words he had uttered, from everything that they entailed.
It can't be. He must be lying. That episode… Fuji would never talk about that with anyone. I mean… we haven't even had time to sit down and talk about it between the two of us, so it's impossible that he's told someone else in a place where anyone can just overhear. It's just… not possible…
She ran downhill across the woods, tripping over grass and roots, almost falling face-first down to the earth numerous times but always managing to catch herself at the last minute. The run seemed to last for an indeterminate amount of time until the white sand of the beach shone in front of her eyes. The half-moon on the night sky cast a cold light down onto the dark ocean waves.
She fumbled through her pockets, but she had left her cellphone back in her bag and her bag back in the resort. And the resort was nowhere in sight; the stretch of beach to either side of her was deserted. Looking back, she could see the faraway silhouette of the cabin looming over the cliff she had just climbed down.
"Calm down," she muttered to herself as she tried to stop the shaking in her hands. "You are not that weak girl anymore. Stop that. Fuji would never do that to you, you know it."
But if it wasn't Fuji, who else could have told Jiro about that episode? None of her friends would ever betray her in that manner.
"You don't know that," she spoke madly to herself. "Look at Oishi; he betrayed Eiji, didn't he? People are capable of such things, even nice people."
Suddenly, she needed to see Fuji, to speak to him. She needed to feel his arms around her as he gave her a reason for all of this that made sense.
"Harumi?"
She startled and jerked around, hugging herself so tight she dug her nails into her flesh from across the tissue of the jacket she wore.
Eiji was standing in front of her with his hands to his knees, panting slightly. The white moonlight highlighted the beads of sweat on his brow.
"Harumi," the redhead panted, trying to draw breath, "what are you doing here? Have you seen Shima?"
She struggled to force herself to relax the tight grip on her arm. Hoping her voice wasn't shaking, she answered: "Chiharu? No. Is something wrong?"
However, Eiji simply looked at her and did not reply. When he straightened up, she saw that his cheeks were flushed red as he studied her. Harumi suddenly felt naked under his gaze, feeling like he could see right through her. For a second, she was scared that he had guessed at what had transpired between her and Jiro. However, Eiji abruptly looked away and turned his back to her, still panting slightly.
"Eiji?"
"What?" he asked without looking at her.
Harumi blinked once at his suddenly strange behaviour. "Um… you said you were looking for Chiharu?"
There was a silence, and then he finally said: "Yes. She has our stone. Without it, we can't claim our winning prize."
It took her a moment to realize he was talking about the test of courage.
"I see."
"Where is Jiro-kun?" Eiji enquired as he turned around and scanned the deserted span of beach behind her.
Harumi looked away. "We got separated. And then I got lost."
"H-how typical of you. Aren't you lucky that I happened to pass by? Come on, let's go back to the resort."
The resort. Would Fuji be at the resort?
Suddenly, she was scared. What if Jiro had told the truth?
Eiji paused when he realized that she was not following him. For the first time, he noticed the paleness of her cheeks and the thin sheet of transpiration on her forehead.
"Harumi, are you all right?"
She smiled at him. "Why wouldn't I be? Lead the way, Eiji."
Fuji was already back at the resort with Yuriko. They had won the first prize, which was a colorful kite.
"Let's fly it tomorrow," the ruby-eyed girl was saying as she took it out of its plastic envelope. "It's supposed to be windy on the beach tomorrow."
Fuji was sprawled down on the couch, his eyes following a yellow fish swimming around inside the aquarium. "Where do you think everyone else is? It is getting quite late."
Yuriko sat down quietly beside him. "Are you worried about Harumi-chan? Daijoubu, she is in good hands with Jiro."
Fuji turned two piercing blue eyes at her. "Why did you send me that picture, Yuriko?"
She blinked. "What picture?"
Fuji opened his phone, clicked on the pictures icon and showed her the picture of Eiji and Harumi walking and conversing side by side on a busy sidewalk.
Yuriko pieced a short strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "Oh, that one!" She shrugged. "I thought you would want to know. I know how you feel about them hanging out together."
"They are just friends."
She smiled. "Friends? I have no doubt. But they are also each other's ex, aren't they? How many people do you see hanging out together like this after they have broken up? I find it quite fascinating that they have managed to draw such a clear line without it affecting their friendship at all."
Fuji was about to say something when she lifted a palm to stop him. "Let us suppose you break up with Harumi-chan tomorrow. Will you be able to look at her in the eyes, let alone joke around?"
Fuji's traits fell a little.
Yuriko nodded at his silence. "I wouldn't be able to either. That's why I find them so fascinating. I didn't mean to upset you by sending that picture, Syusuke."
Fuji stared at the picture in his phone again. If he was honest with himself, he was not upset at Yuriko for sending it. No, it was the picture itself that was upsetting. He pressed on the garbage can icon and deleted it.
At that moment, the glassy doors shifted open and in came Harumi. Fuji started smiling at her, but stopped when he saw Eiji sauntering inside behind her.
The redhead's eyes widened when he saw the kite sprawled across Yuriko's lap.
"Oh! You guys won it? Ey…" he was clearly disappointed. Chiharu and he had come so close!
Harumi's eyes glided from Fuji to Yuriko and then back to the tensai. "I need to talk to you," she simply said. "Come out on the veranda."
She turned around and stepped out again.
Fuji exchanged a look with Eiji, who simply shrugged and looked after Harumi with a frown. Fuji rose from the couch and followed her outside.
The evening breeze was as warm as ever as they walked on the beach. The night tide rushed towards their feet and then retreated again, leaving a trail of shells and seaweed in the sand. In normal circumstances, Harumi would have been delighted at the sight of them. She would have picked up the nicest ones to bring back to Tokyo as souvenirs of this beautiful trip to the beach. Except that this trip had been anything but beautiful; and she was not even seeing the seashells being washed up to her feet.
"What's wrong, Harumi?" Fuji's voice resonated behind her.
When she turned around, the cold light of the moon was reflected in her purple eyes.
"You told Yuriko about what happened to me when my parents died?"
Fuji's eyes slowly widened in horror. "How did you…"
"So it's true," she cut him off coldly.
Fuji grabbed her hand. "Harumi, please, listen to me. I did not mean to. I had one drink too many that night and I missed you. When the topic of you came up and Yuriko asked why you had to leave, I ended up telling her in spite of my better judgment."
She yanked her arm out of his grip. "I see. So you were close enough to her to get drunk together and talk about such matters in the night?"
He did not reply.
"Even though you know she likes you?" she asked again. Her voice was low, but her eyes were cold with anger.
"Harumi…"
"Is that all you said to her? Is there anything else that I should learn from you before I learn it from someone else?"
Fuji looked down for a second, and Harumi's heart sank. "Is there anything else?" she hammered, emphasizing each word.
"No," Fuji replied steadily. "I know I should not have talked about such personal things, Harumi. I am truly sorry!"
Her lower lip trembled a bit, but then she steadied it. "Do you know that Jiro-kun also knows? He was the one who told me. I don't know what else you've said to Yuriko, or how you've said it, but I am not a weak girl anymore, Fuji."
She turned around to leave.
"Harumi, I never said that you were weak!"
"Maybe not. But you must have thought it because that's how I came across in your description of me. I don't blame you, Fuji. You were always the one rescuing me three years ago, that is the truth. But do you know how degrading it is to hear that from a stranger's mouth?"
Before she could make another step, Fuji held on to her arm. "Please, hear me out. It is not what you think! I will tell you everything."
"I'm sorry," she replied without looking at him. "I don't want to hear any more excuses tonight. I need to think some things over. Let go."
But Fuji just yanked her arm violently until she was facing him. "I said, listen to me!"
Harumi was abashed by his rough grip on her arm, by the painful grip of his fingers on her flesh.
This is not the Fuji that I know. He has always been gentle to me. Why is he like this?
"You were not supposed to find out this way!" he started. "I told Yuriko to keep it a secret, to pretend I had never said such things, but I had no idea Jiro had overheard us!"
Harumi clenched her teeth. "This is your excuse? That I was never supposed to even find out about this? Just because you keep it a secret doesn't mean that it never happened!"
"Yes! I admit that I never wanted you to find out!" Fuji exploded. "Because what good would it be? Look at you now! Some things are better kept unspoken! It was a mistake! That's all it was! Telling you would only serve to make you angry unnecessarily and hurt you!"
She yanked her arm free of him with all her strength, making him fall back one step.
"Do you really you're being considerate when you hide things from me?" she shouted with barely suppressed tears. "We are supposed to tell everything to each other, no matter how bad they might be! You're always, always keeping things from me! You say it's for my own good, but I can't believe that, Fuji. Not when I'm feeling this way!"
At this, Fuji looked away, speechless and troubled.
From behind him, Harumi could suddenly see Eiji and Yuriko standing there in the sand within hearing distance. Amaya and Oishi were there too, and Amaya had her hands clasped over her mouth. Suddenly the sight of their friends witnessing their fight was embarrassing and painful.
"Forget it," she muttered and sprinted away in the sand.
She heard him calling out her name, but she didn't turn around.
She didn't know for how long she ran and didn't care. Her mind was blank and the only thing she could feel was the roughness of the sand inside her sandals. Finally, when she was so breathless she thought she would faint, she finally allowed herself to stop. She lied down on her back in the sand and panted as she looked up at the stars shining overhead. A wave came rushing in, timidly licking at her finger tips before retreating.
She didn't know from where she should start thinking about everything that had happened. She felt like she and Fuji were drifting further and further apart. She almost couldn't even recognize him now; he was not how he was three years ago. Or was he? She suddenly realized she didn't really know the real him. What his thoughts were, what his dreams were, what he wanted out of life, she had never had a chance to find out. Just who had she falling in love with?
"DAMN IT!" she screamed as she punched at the sand beside her.
"What are you so worked up for?" a voice resounded so close to her that she jerked up into a sitting position so fast that she lost her sandals.
Chiharu was sitting beside her with her knees to her chest. She threw her fiery hair over one shoulder and stared at Harumi through red eyes.
Harumi slowly crawled to where she was. "C-Chiharu? When did you get here? Wait… is everything okay?"
The redhead let out a small, humorless laugh. "Everything is certainly not okay. Not for me, and not for you either from what I see."
At this, Harumi sat down beside her and stretched her legs out in front of her, feeling depressed. "Everything is so messed up…"
"Did something happen with Fuji?"
Harumi sighed. To be honest, Chiharu was the last person she had wanted to encounter. She was always so perceptive; it was impossible to hide anything from her.
"We had another fight," she admitted. "This one was pretty bad. I don't know what to do anymore, Chiharu."
She bent her knees and pressed her eyes against her forearms.
Chiharu let out another humorless laugh. "I won't ask you for the details, Haru. It looks like you don't need to go there again tonight. Don't you think it's funny though?"
Harumi frowned against her arm. She couldn't see anything funny about any of it.
"We came here to mend two broken hearts," the redhead continued, "but we ended up with four more."
Harumi lifted her head to peer at the sad profile of her friend. "Four?" she asked. "Who are the other two? You?"
"Bingo," she agreed. "Although mine has been broken for a pretty long time. I just squeezed the pus tonight though. Finally talked to someone and all."
Is this about what really happened with Atobe?
However, she had never seen Chiharu look so defeated, and so she didn't inquire further out of respect. After all, Chiharu had shown tact for the first time for not probing into her problems with Fuji.
"So who's the last one?" she murmured against her crossed arms.
Somehow, in spite of the sadness she felt, she was still curious. Such was the power of gossip sometimes.
Chiharu remained silent. Harumi threw her a quick glance and saw the redhead staring pensively into the night waves.
Is she not going to tell me? It would be much like her to keep the suspense. Who could it be though? Amaya and Oishi are good now. Chiharu, Fuji and I are accounted for. There's only Yuriko, Jiro and Eiji left. I seriously doubt Jiro is into anyone, and Yuriko? Is she still pining after Fuji or something?
She found herself getting angry and sad all over again. Just why had Fuji done such a thing to her?
Chiharu claimed her attention with one hand on her arm. Harumi looked up and met her green eyes rimmed with red. Chiharu opened her mouth and said: "It's Kikumaru."
Harumi blinked. "Eh…?"
Eiji? Why would Eiji…? Does he like Mai after all? No… that can't be. Then…
For some reason, her heart started pounding… slowly at first, and then faster and louder.
"Kikumaru," Chiharu repeated, and then looked up. "He's here."
Harumi stared at her incomprehensibly, until she heard footsteps in the sand coming towards them. She turned her head in time to see Eiji skidding to a halt beside them, breathing hard.
Harumi forcefully forced her heart rate to go back to normal by pressing a hand against her chest. It wasn't at all what she had thought, of course.
"I finally found you," Eiji let out between two breaths as he wiped as his forehead with the back of his hand. "You run fast, Harumi, moh!"
Slowly, the honey-haired girl stood up. She watched as rivulets of sweat ran down the base of his neck, soaking into his white t-shirt. He must have run around quite a lot, looking for her.
She looked down guiltily. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worried. You and all the others. I'm really sorry."
"No need to be sorry." His eyes dimmed in anger for a second before his gaze settled on Chiharu. "Oh, Shima-chan! There you are too! Good thing I found you both!"
Chiharu let out a heavy sigh and stood up. "Indeed you have. And there goes our peace."
Harumi's eyes widened when she saw her limping. "Chiharu! What happened to your ankle?"
"Nothing," she said, at the same time as Eiji blurted: "Oh, she fell down the stairs in the hut during the test of…"
He pressed his lips tightly close when Chiharu sent him a death glare. He clasped his hands together and bowed to her. "Sorry, Shima. I forgot it was supposed to be a secret."
"Ugh!" Chiharu exclaimed as she angrily rearranged strands of her hair. "Forget it! I'm at fault here for upholding unrealistic expectations! I should have known you are unable to keep a secret!"
Eiji pouted in misery. "I already said that I'm sorry, nya."
They both turned towards Harumi when she let out a small giggle with a hand to her mouth. Eiji's eyes widened as he pointed at her. "Oh! You laughed! That's good, Harumi. Don't let that bastard get you down! Uh.. I mean… Fujiko is a nice person, but sometimes I really can't understand him… eto…"
He scratched his head as Harumi literally burst out laughing.
She laughed until tears flowed down her cheeks. She didn't know herself whether she ended up laughing or crying, but after she was done and finally managed to calm down, that stuffy feeling of anger and betrayal had lifted somewhat from her chest.
"Are you done?" Chiharu asked in exasperation. "Can we go back now? I need to ice my ankle again. It's gotten pretty swollen."
"Hai, hai!" Harumi answered as she wiped the last few tears dry.
Chiharu passed one arm around Harumi's shoulders and the other around Eiji's as the three of them started walking back towards the resort.
Not even halfway there, Harumi was already sweating abundantly. Chiharu's arm around her neck seemed to weigh like lead. Looking down, she saw that Chiharu's good ankle was barely touching ground. "Hey! You're making us carry all your weight!"
Chiharu looked back innocently. "Don't know whatcha talking about."
Harumi directed an impatient glance towards Eiji. "Oy, you say something too."
Eiji sweatdropped. "I know it will be useless. Trust me, I've learned it the hard way."
Harumi mumbled something like "oh, great", but could do nothing more than to walk on. Somehow, in spite of the high levels of princess syndrome that Chiharu was displaying at the moment, she was still glad that she had encountered her and Eiji tonight. She would have ended up crying her eyes out for sure if she had been left all by herself. She chanced a look at Chiharu's red eyes and only wished she had found her friend sooner. Then, she abruptly remembered that Eiji had been looking for Chiharu as well when he had come across her on the beach. And she also remembered Chiharu mentioning that she had talked to someone about Atobe. Could that someone be Eiji?
If so, then he can keep a secret after all!
When the resort came into view, Chiharu yanked them both to a stop. "Alright, you two! If anyone asks how I injured my ankle, you tell them I was practicing a new secret tennis move on the beach and slipped!"
"Ehhh?" Harumi grunted. "Who would even believe that?"
"Silence!" Chiharu stopped further complaints with one palm raised. "Shall I remind you that this resort belongs to me? If you don't want to end up sleeping on the beach, you will do as I say!"
"Hai… hai…" Harumi agreed without spirit.
Chiharu turned fiercely towards the redhead. "Especially you, Kikumaru! Bring your A game in acting, got it?"
"Moh," Eiji let out petulantly. "It was just a slip! It won't happen again."
"It isn't so bad," Harumi said. She leaned forward a little and met Eiji's gaze. Smiling, she continued: "It isn't so bad, not being able to keep little secrets. There are secrets that hurt, and others that are kept out of respecting someone's privacy. As long as you keep the important ones, it's not so bad to slip once in a while. At least that's what I think."
Eiji stared back at her, slightly stunned. She gave him a little wink to let him know that she had guessed about what Chiharu had told him.
When the three of them resumed walking, Eiji removed his hand on Chiharu's shoulder and briefly patted Harumi's arm. "Don't let what happened with Fuji get you down," that touch seemed to say.
Harumi took comfort in that gesture as they stepped into the rectangle of light coming from the porch of the resort and Chiharu pushed open the door.
Mmmmm, yes... how long has it been? I think the last chapter was posted in July! Oh crap, I feel so bad, ugh :( I'm really sorry for having kept you all waiting! I'm sure that alters the reading experience for sure! To be honest, I wanted to build a bit more writing material before I start posting, so as to make the updates closer to one another, but alas I can no longer work that way. There's just way too many things going on at the same time. Of course, I'll try my best to write fast, but I can't make any promises as to the length of time it will take me. All I can say is THANK YOU for your patience! And your words of encouragement are great, as always! Please, do keep them coming. If you are still reading this story, then let me know, and I won't give up writing for sure!
Not sure how many of you will still be reading you, and not sure how many of you will actually get to see these replies, but I still wanna say a few words to each of you personally for having left me such wonderful reviews :) Here goes:
lazyyy: hey! yeah, someone really knows how to connect the dots eh? ;) yes, there's a link between Yuriko and what Fuji said. But this is only the beginning. Thanksss for reading! :D
tsuki-shinigami: awww omg, thanks so much! Sooo soo sorry the update actually took so long! But here it is! Yeah, I see there are many Eiji/Harumi fans lately! Well, honestly you guys will not be left hanging, I promise you that *wink*
Kurosora: thanks so much for your continuous support! :D If you are still reading, care to use your predictive instincts again to try and guess at what will happen next? :) Can't say I will answer tho so as not to spoil the fun when you actually read it, but it will always be fun to guess a little eh? Thanks again and have a great day! :D
Shingamigirl: woahhh thanks lol! I'm sure my writing skills are not best out there, but I always try hard to work on them! As long as you keep writing, you can only keep getting better, right? :D Ya I hear ya, you Harumi/ Eiji fan! :) You're not alone loll. Thanks for all the love! Love you right back for giving me such support!
surugasasa: haha yeah, I have a tendency to write about psycho females. But those girls have a human side to them too, you shall see :)
lupinlovesme: yeah, thanks for picking that up! I always love it when my readers also help me edit to make my writing better! I will go back and edit it very soon, after I upload this! Thanks for the love!
LivelyRose: Thank you for the comment! Yeah, I know, Yuriko seemed in need of a spanking in those earlier chapters I'm sure lol. But there will be more to her character. Yes... Eiji might or might not find someone. We shall see... I don't know... Actually I do, but it's a secret! :P
Cahartez: thank you so much, I gotta say your review really pushed me to write this chapter. I had the draft lying around in the depths of my computer anyway, so thank you so much for the extra push cuz I needed that so badly. And I love your suggestion on long paragraphs.. yes, they do tend to be tedious to read, so I will try to make them shorter in the future for an easier reading experience. Well, my friend, whether it's Fuji or Eiji, read on to find out! I very much like Eiji's character, yes I will admit that. He's just so cool and laid-back.. he's a fun character to write :)
OK ONCE MORE A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU! :)
Ja ne!