"These words keep slipping away. I stutter, I stumble, like I've got nothing to say. It don't do me any good. It's just a waste of time. What use is it to you what's on my mind?" - Things I'll Never Say

Chapter 12: Things I'll never say

It had been a long three days since Amu's grand realization. She could already feel the discovery crushing her shoulders and weighing her down. It was like a ball and chain she was forced to haul around with her constantly. She wasn't all too sure why it even felt this way in the first place. It's not like there was anything wrong with liking Ikuto, it was just the fact that he had been her best friend for the past two years and he probably only saw her as a fork…or some other inanimate object that held no sex appeal.

Amu took a seat on her bed and sighed. There wasn't even a way to make a fork look sexy. It was too prickly…and yet dull at the same time. Not to mention forks were just stupid. She couldn't even be a curvy spoon - because she had no curves. Sighing again, Amu wandered over to her closet in search of something semi-decent to cover this fork with.

Kukai had invited the gang to watch his soccer match that afternoon. Utau wasn't able to attend since she had to rehearse for her concert that was coming up. But knowing her, she'd somehow make an appearance at his game no matter what it took.

Now that was dedication.

The Tsukiyomis had good genes. Utau wasn't one to show much feeling and emotion in public, yet there was always a reassurance in the air that let you know that she'd always be there to provide a shoulder to cry on. She and Ikuto were so similar. Amu was tempted to just throw a wig on Utau and get her to chop her boobs off so Amu could like her instead of her brother. Perhaps that would be easier.

But on the other hand, that would be destroying Utau and Kukai's happy relationship and Amu didn't have the heart to do that. If two people are happy together, everyone should just leave them alone.

Dropping onto her bed face-first, Amu let out a whimper. Not only was she dying from the excrutiating headache she had, but she had this to deal with, too. It would be so much easier if she just continued to like Tadase. But noooooo of course she had to go and gain feelings for Mr. 'I-don't-show-any-emotion-and-when-I-do-it's-because-I'm-dating-Lulu-and-not-Amu-because-she's-like-a-fork-to-me-not-even-a-sister-just-a-fork.'

Finally pulling herself off the bed once again, Amu dove into her closet and pulled out some clothes without allowing another thought to linger to the teen who inhabited the room across from hers. This was driving her insane and she wasn't going to allow it to go on much longer. She'd ignore it completely and carry on with her happy life.

She decided on a pair of jean shorts and a black t-shirt. Pulling her hair up into a ponytail after tugging on some socks, she hurried towards the stairs, nearly knocking into Ikuto on the way.

"Holy crap!" Amu gasped out as she grabbed onto his arm to stop herself from falling. "Y-you almost killed me."

Ikuto arched an eyebrow, carefully eyeing her flushed cheeks. He had spent the last few days basically on bed-rest and was now feeling well enough to wander the house. He didn't feel good enough to go to the game with her, though.

"You've got your head in the clouds again, little one." He commented while patting her on the head.

Amu glared up at him, her dizzy gaze struggling to focus. "I'm not little! I'm only like…a year younger than you!"

"Mm…seems little to me."

With all the emotions swirling through her, this simple comment made her want to shut herself up in the bathroom and cry.

She was certain that a few betraying tears had begun to well up in her eyes as she glared at him.

Ikuto's sapphire orbs widened just a smidgeon at this and he opened his mouth to speak, but Amu quickly cut him off as she cleared her throat and looked away.

"I have to go. I'll see you later."

Nearly falling over herself, Amu scrambled out the front door and leaned against it, trying to shake off the dizzy feeling that had been coming and going all day. Honestly, she felt terrible. Her head had been aching ever since last night and her cheeks were more flushed than usual - and surprisingly, it wasn't due to her terrible blushing habit.

Despite all the symptoms, she refused to admit that she might be coming down with whatever Ikuto had.

She brushed it aside and started on her walk towards the nearby stadium. She probably just needed some fresh air and a good walk.

Another reason she could've been feeling this way is because of all the stress she had put herself under. Liking someone wasn't supposed to be this stressful; she was overreacting way too much.

Amu's attention flickered briefly to what date it was today. Was it really that time again? No…it felt like it just ended. She groaned aloud.

"You've got to be kidding me." She whispered to herself.

"If you keep talking to yourself, people will think you're crazy." Ikuto whispered in her ear from behind.

She flailed her arms out as she screeched, jumping away from the boy.

He must have been feeling better, seeing as how he was more than willing to tease her like this. He was even beginning to smirk again. Whoop-dee-doo. And in return, she was the one who was now suffering.

"What are you doing here?" She grumbled with her arms crossed. They had resumed walking, Ikuto now beside her. "I thought you weren't feeling well enough to watch Kukai's game."

Ikuto looked at her from the corner of his eye and calmly pocketed his hands. "I'm not."

Amu rolled her eyes. "That makes perfect sense."

She caught another rush of dizziness and grabbed onto a nearby tree to stabilize herself. Ignoring Ikuto's look, she cleared her throat and continued on.

"And you're not, either." He spoke again.

Amu sent him a questioning look, furrowing her eyebrows. "What?"

"You're not feeling well, either." Ikuto repeated before his pace slowed to a stop. "You might fool everyone else, but I'm sure even you know that you can't fool me that easily."

Pursing her lips together, Amu whirled around and opened her mouth to start firing off words to prove him wrong, but mid-twirl, she felt dizzy again.

Ikuto quickly reached out and pressed a hand against her shoulder to stabilize her. "…You were saying?"

They both knew he was right and she was wrong, but she wasn't willing to give up without a fight.

"I-I'm completely fine!" She retorted. "I've just been lacking sleep and I'm pretty sure I'm about to get my period any day now so I'm all out of whack and-" She quickly shut her mouth as her eyes widened. Why did she just tell him that! Was it normal for her to talk about her period so freely when he was around? She held back the urge to whimper in embarrassment as she stared at him, trying to keep her expression as blank as his was.

He towered over her in all his expressionless glory, sporting dark jeans and his blue shirt (the one that clashed with his hair) - yet he looked absolutely gorgeous.

The Greek god and the fork. Amu sighed. It would never work out. And she had to stop being so dang depressed over it. Yes, she was very aware that she was sulking.

"It's okay to speak your mind." Ikuto stated, his all-knowing gaze burning into her weary eyes. "Why bother staying strong if it makes you even weaker?"

Amu attempted to scoff, but it came out sounding more like a choking noise as her eyes filled with tears again. It hurt whenever he showed he cared about her. "You're one to talk." Her voice was no louder than a broken whisper as she forced herself to make eye-contact with him.

Ikuto frowned. "What is it you want?"

'You. I want to be able to date you without it destroying our friendship. I want you to fall head-over-heels in love with me and not regret it at all. I want all the other girls who like you to know that you're mine and I'm yours.' Another dizzy spell washed over her and she settled with saying, "I want to go home."

She was ready to throw up her insides at this moment. Her limbs were shaky and she was burning up under the early-evening sun.

He made no reply to this but simply turned around, kneeling down in front of her.

Amu giggled like a little school girl as a tear dripped down her cheek. Climbing onto his back, she rested her chin in the crook of his neck as he began walking them back home. She held onto him tightly, letting the rocking of his movement lull her to sleep.

Just as she was dozing off, she had to throw in an insult for old-time's sake. "That shirt really does clash badly with your hair." She uttered.

She could feel his chuckle vibrate through his shoulders.

"I'm aware."

Smiling to herself, Amu let herself fall asleep, comforted by the reassurance that Ikuto would always be there. Even if it wasn't as a boyfriend, he'd be there as a friend and that was enough for her at this moment.

Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt.

The room was pitch black with only a small bit of moonlight straining in through the blinds, lighting up the floor and a corner of a wall.

Struggling to open her eyes, Amu felt blindly around the bed for her phone. It being on the mattress made the vibrating sound even louder than it was as it rumbled the bed.

Her hand finally grasped down on the phone, finding it by her knees.

"Hello?" She cringed at how hoarse her voice sounded. She resembled an eighty year old man who had one too many prunes lodged in his throat.

"You sound like my dead grandma." Rima's voice came from the other line.

Amu grimaced. "Thank you. I pride myself on it. Does it turn you on?"

"You have no idea." She replied, expressionless.

This made Amu smile as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

"So thanks for telling us you were going to come to the game and then you don't show up. We really felt the love."

Amu's eyes widened. Falling asleep on Ikuto wasn't at all part of the plan. She originally intended to at least text someone to let them know she wouldn't be there after all. "I'm so sorry! I think I caught Ikuto's fever 'cause I haven't been feeling good at all today and I was honestly on my way to the game but Ikuto met up with me and I decided to just go home 'cause I kept getting these dizzy spells and…yeah. Sorry."

"Lies. You two probably just decided you'd enjoy sex much more than a game so you both ditched."

Even in the dark, Amu was positive her blush was visible from miles away. Her cheeks burned as she stuttered over her words. "N-n-n-no way! Wh-why are you saying things like that?" She whispered harshly.

She could practically hear Rima's coy smile slowly appear. "You know it's true. Anyway, moving on to me now." She never was one to waste time. "Nagihiko asked me out on another date for tomorrow…"

Eyes widening along with her grin, Amu fought off the wave of dizziness so she could be excited for her friend. "No way! And you agreed to it, right? Because as I recall, you did enjoy your previous date a whole heap."

"…I suppose. But, yes, I agreed to it - quite reluctantly, I'll tell you, because I originally had plans to get my hair done." Rima spoke with a careless tone, as if she wasn't entirely new to the whole dating scene.

Amu continued to grin like an idiot. "I'm so happy for you! I know it's going to go great and you'll see how amazing of a guy he is."

"Who said I hadn't already discovered how amazing he is?"

The pinkette squealed in delight.

"My sentiments exactly. So, yeah, just figured I'd phone to make sure you weren't dead somewhere." Rima commented through a yawn. "But now I shall get to sleep so that I can actually wake up in time for this so-called 'second date.' Goodnight."

Amu bit down on her lip to keep from smiling too widely. "Goodnight!"

"Oh and Amu? Keep it down with all the sex."

She hung up before Amu could respond with an angry string of insults.

How dare Rima make her blush so much in one conversation.

Tossing her phone onto her nightstand, Amu tugged off her shorts and climbed into bed. Reaching over to the empty space beside her, she frowned slightly and played with the cold fabric of the sheet. Even though she decided they'd remain just as friends, she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have Ikuto sleep next to her as a regular occurrence.

She blushed once realizing how creepy she was. Really, she knew no one else who was ever this obsessed with another person.

Meanwhile…

"See, Ikuto was on bedrest for the past few days with his fever." Tsumugu plotted out carefully, drawing a blue-haired stickman on the paper in front of him.

He swore he was onto something here. He leaned against the kitchen island and drummed his fingers along his chin. It didn't matter that it was past midnight, he knew, absolutely knew, that he was getting at something.

Midori rolled her eyes from her seat at the table behind him.

"And now Ikuto carries Amu home because she, too, is sick." He hummed to himself as he drew a pink-haired stickperson wearing a dress. "Now, how is that possible that she got sick when Ikuto was isolated from everyone during his days of being ill?"

"Maybe the sickness crawled under the door and into Amu's room." Midori sighed, not as enthusiastic about this discovery as her husband was. She just wanted to sleep. However, it was impossible to do so since Tsumugu had insisted on her hearing all about his new finding.

"They must have been together at some time in the past few days!" Tsumugu declared, drawing a plus sign between the two stick figures. "Was it when that purple-haired boy was over?" A stickman of Nagihiko was added to the page. "Or…" He lowered his voice to a creepy whisper, "under the cover of nightfall?"

A moon was drawn.

Sighing, Midori slowly stood up from the dining room table and moved across the room to turn off the lights. "Honey, let's go to sleep. You can work on this in the morning."

"I've got it!" Tsumugu declared with happy tears cascading down his face. "They're together right now, I just know it!"

Without another word, he pranced up the staircase in a heartbeat and whipped open the door to his eldest daughter's room.

She was sleeping. Alone.

"DAMMIT!"

Author's Note: Okaayy so this was more of a filler. But next chapter SHALL BE GREAT. LULU MAKES HER GRAND RETURN! WAKAKAKAKAAKAAAAA. Bye.