A/N: Hm, this chapter was hard to write, as the original chapter contained little content. AUUGGGHHH WHY? So yes, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint nonetheless... And remember! For more enjoyment, please read Chapter 12 of Redwall by Brain Jacques.
Pff, I sound like an advertiser guy. XD
Chapter Twelve
Cluny's Speaking Shadow
Cluny sat in some wreckage.
Some of his rats sat on burst hassocks.
"Cluny," Redtooth asked, "what's a hassocks?"
"SHADDUP, MOMMA!" Cluny screamed in a panicky sort of way.
Uh oh, Redtooth, Darkclaw, Chessethief, and Fangburn all thought. Cluny was in one of his strange moods again.
"MOMMA," Cluny yelled as he did some jumping jacks, "WHERE'S MAH SHADOW!?"
The other rats exchanged wildly confused looks.
This made Cluny mad. He began kicking the rats left and right.
"SHADOW!" The crazed warlord screamed. "WHERE'S MAH SHADOW!"
"Shadow's right here, Cluny," a black dead-looking weasel-rat said, dressed in wet silks.
Cluny raised his arms above his head.
Shadow did likewise.
Cluny punched the air in front of himself.
Shadow did likewise.
Cluny smiled, beginning to tear up. "SHADOW!" he said, and he hugged Shadow.
Shadow pulled away from the rat, shaking an extended claw. "Well, it seems that somebody hasn't been taking their weekly baths like their Shadow told them to..."
Cluny pouted. "Not fair. Redtooth and Darkclaw don't take their baths!"
Shadow shot the two captains a pointed look.
His dead, evil eyes made them shiver.
"Eh, Shadow knew, my little Clu-clu, for Shadow is the lord of bathing."
Cluny brightened. "So you saw the Abbey?"
"Yeah," Shadow said, picking the fungus out from underneath his nails.
"Could you climb those walls?"
Shadow considered. "Shadow doesn't know any beast that could climb up those walls."
"Except you?"
"What?"
Cluny frowned. "Except you, right?"
"No, not even Shadow."
Cluny screamed. "WHAT?!"
Shadow panicked. "Sh– Shadow said no beast! No beast could climb those walls!"
"So?" Cluny snarled.
"Um, Shadow knows some– something that could climb the Redwall walls."
"What's that?"
"Shadow's sock puppet."
Cluny nodded. He'd always liked sock puppets. "Good. Tell the sock puppet that he must climb the Abbey walls, be careful not to wake the magical unicorns at the top, get to the main Abbey door, enter the first room, turn around, and you'll see a picture of a mousie dressed in armor. GET THE MOUSIE, SHADOW! GET EET! GET EET NOW! NOW, NOW, NOW!"
Shadow frowned. "How am I supposed to remember all that?"
"Just do it."
Shadow sighed and turned to leave the pulpit.
Cluny snarled. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YER GOIN', SCUM?"
Shadow flinched. "T– To get the tapestry picture now, as you ordered."
Cluny fumed. "I didn't mean now-now, dummy! I meant later-now!"
Shadow looked confused. "A– All right...?"
Meanwhile, Cluny's captains were confused. "Why d'you want a picture of some mouse, Cluny?"
Cluny smiled mushily. "Ahh, Brothers. Don't you see? This is why I will always be so much awesomer than you."
The captains leaned forward in anticipation.
"I want to put the tapestry depiction in my scrapbook."
The captains all nodded. "Makes sense."
Cluny untied his tail-belt from his waist. He super-glued it to his rump tail-stump and didn't move it for ten minutes, like the bottle instructed. Then he lashed it out and wrapped it around Shadow, pulling the weasel-rat towards him so that they were face-to-face.
"Make sure your sock puppet does not fail, Shadow, or I'll pinch you."
He released the weasel-rat, who looked up at him.
"Your breath stinks, my little Clu-clu. Go brush your teeth."
A/N: And now to reply to my wonderful reviewers. :D
Nashog: I've never heard of Spellsinger before, actually. Are there really cannibal fairies? XD And you naughty thing, we're all sold out of snacks now because of you. DID YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DAMAGED THAT BRAT MATTHIAS CAUSED TO NOT ONLY MY BAR BUT MY HOUSE? I'M LIVING IN A TREE NOW. *weeps*
Buffalo-Dreams: I like to think that humor is my personal specialty. :D Also ruining childhood memories.
Japanada: *bows* Thanks, ol' boy!
Running Colours: *dodges bullet* Oi! Not funny! Ye nearly took off moi poor li'l headie! And don't sweat it, cause I'm weird too. :D Weird like a banana-and-cheese sammie-wich. And good thing those stitches weren't real! Cause I'm no doctor.
The Red Velveteer