Chapter Eleven:

Grief

*Nick*

We started out about six in the morning. None of us could sleep well. There wasn't much room to move in this safe house and I wasn't really up to sleeping as I could hear those creatures outside our door.

I pulled out a deck of cards and played solitaire for a bit before Rochelle made her way over to me. She and I played war for about an hour and then she decided to try to sleep again.

Coach snored like a bear, but he tossed and turned a lot on the couch.

Staring out the safe room door we would be leaving in the morning was Ellie who using a silenced pistol, was picking off zombies from the safety of the room through the barred window.

"Overalls", I said after a moment, "want to play black jack?"

She came over and looked at the cards, a weird look on her face; a mixture between sadness and interest. Then she flopped down beside me on the floor and nodded, her face sinking into her knees as she pulled them up to her chest.

"You know how to play?" I asked.

She nodded. "My Pa taught me", she said after a moment.

Ah, so her Pa must be dead I figured. I wondered if it was from the Green Flu or something else. It was probably why she looked sad when looking at the cards.

We played for a while and I was surprised at how good her luck was. She won almost every turn. I wasn't exactly excited about this, seeing as how I was betting my food, but I got her laughing, so I was happy I had made her smile.

Wait, what?

I mentally had to rewind my thoughts to pick up on what I had just said.

Did I say I was glad to make her smile? Oh lord, I am falling into desperation. She's a hick for goodness sakes and…

I stopped thinking when I noticed her staring at me. She looked a little worried and it made me start looking at her eyes. They were a pale light blue, almost gray but still blue enough to make them look almost like the sky. Her cheeks were pink I noticed from what looked to be a blush making her way up her face and…

Oh.

I immediately snapped out of it and realized I had been staring at her. Way to go Nick, way to go, I mentally chided myself.

*Elissa*

He was staring at me again.

I tried to look away but the way he was staring…it was hard to not just stare back and get lost in his light green eyes. They were so beautiful. I shook my head when he seemed to snap out of it. What am I thinking? Keith just died and you're acting like a high school girl blushing cause of a cute boy.

The thought of Keith mellowed me. I reached up and took off my hat, caressing it as I pictured his smiling face. His laugh sounded like honey to me as I remembered earlier yesterday, playing in the hose with him and…

I stopped when I felt a soft hand touch my face. Looking up, I noticed the most gentle of looks on Nicks face. He wiped my tears away and the fact that someone was trying to comfort me made me lose it. I began to cry and he pulled me close, holding me against his chest. I couldn't handle the pain. I couldn't handle Keith's memory. It was all too much for one person.

"You will be okay", Nick whispered into my ear.

"Hush now", he said gently as he rubbed my back.

"Everything will be alright", he said again.

We both knew his words were a lie, but it still made me feel better. I could tell this was a bit awkward for him, but I needed this moment. A moment to not hide behind a smiling mask and just grieve; grieve the loss of my best friend, my boyfriend, my mother, my friends, and my little sister. I had lost everything I held dear in a span of two days and I felt it all crash down on me as I sobbed into his white jacket.

*Nick*

I couldn't help myself. One moment I was chastising myself for remotely having any feelings for her, when the next thing I know, I look into her eyes and see the tears spilling over. There was so much grief in her face. I couldn't help but want to wipe those tears away and comfort her. I reached up before I even knew what I was doing and began to wipe them off her cheeks. It seemed to be the thing she needed, because the next thing I know, she is in my arms sobbing and I am comforting her best I can.

I have never been someone to comfort other people. I have never been someone to feel grief or regret for many things either, but when I pulled her into my arms…it just felt right. I can't really explain it better than that. When I tugged her close, I needed to say something to make her feel better, anything at all.

When she started to get quieter, I noticed her face was red from having cried so hard. She seemed embarrassed with herself as her shoulders shook; she tried to calm herself down.

I ran my hands through her hair. It was so soft.

I noticed her lips, how pink and soft they looked and before I knew what I was doing, I was kissing said lips. I was kissing them and thinking about how good it felt to kiss again, when I felt a slap sting across my face.

Surprised, I jerked back and saw her tear streaked face glaring at me.

"Don't pity me you jerk", she said and stood up and vanished into the bathroom where she closed the door with a loud bang.

I sat there, stunned at my own actions.