Hack 12

"He's just so weird, you know?"

Stan bent over to inspect the drawers of the new armoire that Sonny had purchased to decorate Elizabeth's new penthouse. "Yeah. The guy's a piece of work."

"It's like he runs all hot and cold on me," she continued, tearing the plastic off a pair of bed sheets and motioning for Stan to move to the other side of the queen-sized bed. "He's made it very clear since day one that he can't stand me, which is perfectly fine considering that I made it equally clear since day one that he doesn't impress me. He rags on me all the time – again, a two-way street, I admit to that – and he's forever pimping his darling little nerd protégé, and then he has the balls to ask me if I want to play a game of pool with him?"

"Maybe he likes you," her best friend suggested, not fully believing it himself. "I don't know. I remember back in fourth grade, I used to pick on Marci Jenkins like you wouldn't believe just because I thought she was cute and really nice. I think I made her cry once."

Elizabeth laughed and snapped the fitted sheet under the corner of her bed, waiting for him to do the same. "Thankfully, I'm pretty sure that I'm not Jason's Marci Jenkins. God, shoot me if that ever happens."

"Oh, it's already taken care of," Stan promised, smirking at her from across the bed. "I was planning on doing a lot worse, anyway, if you ever went for the guy."

She laughed again and began spreading the sheet on top as Stan tried to wrestle two new pillows into the appropriate cases. "Seriously, though – I still can't figure out what was up with that. I mean, I can't stand you, you can't stand me – get out the noisemakers, you know? What was he expecting? Maybe he was just really, really lonely or something."

"Or maybe…he was trying to figure out where you hid the bug," Stan replied, snapping his fingers. "That has to be it – he was trying to get in good with you so you'd feel bad and tell him where the bug is."

Elizabeth stopped, both hands braced on the mattress, and nodded slowly. "You're right – that has to be it. Oh, he's a sneaky guy. Trying to guilt me into tipping my hand. Not in this lifetime, pal."

"Hey, just for kicks," Stan began, tilting his head to the side conspiratorially, "where is the bug?"

The brunette's lips curled into a thin smile. "Nice try, but no."

Her best friend launched the cased pillow at her from across the room. "Oh, come on! It's a professional insult! I'm the bug guy, you're using my handiwork, and I can't even find the damn thing! I swept that penthouse twice with him barking in my ear and riding my hump every step of the way – twice!"

She lifted her shoulder in a coy shrug. "That's what you get for outsmarting yourself."

"Just give me the serial number," he pleaded, "that's all. Come on."

But Elizabeth just shook her head. "No can do, Stanford. A girl's gotta guard her secrets."

"It's going to feel so strange without her," Sonny murmured as he twisted his butter rolls into crescents on the cookie sheet. "I got used to having her here, you know? I mean, I ran out of hot water at least twice a week, stepped on her high heels all the time, and had chocolate in my refrigerator for the first time in three years, but still. I liked having her here."

Jason glanced up blandly from the bag of gourmet baked tortilla chips he'd discovered in the pantry. Spinelli had finished all of their barbequed chips so he was stuck with these weird white, green and red things. "So tell her to stay."

Sonny spared him a withering look. "First, I wouldn't tell her – I'd ask her. And second, I can't. It's not right. A man my age, a girl her age…people talk enough. There's no room for any of that. And don't eat so many of those – dinner will be ready in half an hour."

He ignored him as usual and crammed another handful into his mouth. "Who cares what people think? If you want her here, tell her to stay. End of story."

"I would ask if I thought she'd agree," his partner replied. "But Elizabeth's like me: she's used to her independence. And she's used to having her own place. She loved Penthouse II – still thinks of it as hers."

"I know," Jason muttered dryly. Her presence was still there, all right. But he'd find that damn bug one of these days.

"And she's very…stubborn about her habits," Sonny continued slowly as he slid the crescent rolls into the oven. "And she's picky about the people she's with. She's used to having her own place and she's used to me being across the hall, so in the end, that's what will work best. It took her some time to adjust to staying with me, you know. She wasn't used to having someone else in the house, watching her and telling her to do things."

Jason rolled his eyes and crammed more chips into his mouth, figuring that if he did that, he wouldn't be tempted to make any remarks about spoiled little brats until he had at least finished chewing.

Sonny remembered something that made him laugh. "She was the same way with Nikolas, actually, when the two of them first started going out. She was still figuring out how relationships worked, and she didn't want to talk about it with me because she got embarrassed, so she'd talk about it with Alexis. So Alexis would get embarrassed – because he was her kid nephew, after all – and she'd tell Elizabeth the strangest things, and then Nikolas would get upset because his aunt knew everything about his personal life."

He shook his head and laughed again, not noticing that Jason was trying not to pay attention. "They figured out how to make things work eventually, though. And now they're fine. It just takes time with Elizabeth. She needs to get used to the idea of things. And she's still used to being on her own and all of that. She might move in if I pushed her to, but she wouldn't be too crazy about it."

"I wouldn't be too crazy about what?" Elizabeth asked, poking her head into the kitchen and looking from Sonny to Jason and back again. "Repeat that."

"I was just saying I didn't think you'd be too crazy about the fact that we're having pot roast for dinner," Sonny replied smoothly.

The brunette regarded him warily. "Well, I'm okay with it…as long as it's not anywhere near as dry as it was last time."

Jason looked at Sonny, startled by this culinary lapse, and the mobster smacked a palm down on the counter. "I told you – that was because of an electrical mishap with the oven! I had the wires changed and has anything ever been too dry since?"

Elizabeth shrugged and suspiciously avoided eye contact. "Well…If you say so…"

"I do," the older man groused, moving around the island over to Jason, where he snatched the tortilla chips from his lap. "And give me those. You're spoiling your dinner."

"You might want to fill up on those," the brunette whispered loudly. "I'm not sure the roast is going to be on the level."

Jason would have replied had Sonny not chosen that moment to whip his balled up apron at her head. The brunette shrieked and ducked, then volleyed it back at him. Jason sat in the middle of this, idly watching the bundle of cloth sail gaily over his head, and decided that it was probably for the best that he had been rebuffed so soundly the night before. The girl was immature and spoiled, and there was no reason that a guy like him should even think twice about someone like her.

And then she took off the little knit shrug she wore and spread it across the back of a chair, giving him a nice view of her chest in a surprisingly low-cut t-shirt (for her), and Jason immediately changed his mind. Ah, what the hell? That was his prerogative.

"How do you like the furniture I picked out?" Sonny smiled as the brunette began to put her hair up into a high ponytail. The movement of stretching her arms upward enhanced her modest rack, and Jason was a big fan of that.

"I love it," she answered sincerely. "Everything's perfect. I'm going to hopefully start moving in tomorrow, if that's okay."

"Fine, fine," he responded, and Jason could tell that Sonny wasn't anywhere near as eager about the move as Elizabeth was. "Let me know if you need any help."

"I'll grab a couple of the guys and force them to do some hard labor for the day," she winked, taking a few chips out of the bag that had been so abruptly seized from Jason. "Dinner ready yet? I'm starving."

"Almost," Sonny nodded. "Go wash up and grab Spinelli."

"I'll do that," Elizabeth agreed, already heading out of the kitchen. "Nerd stole my monkey butt lamp again and I'm going to get it back, then bash him over the head with it."

"Hold on, please," the mobster called after her, and she skidded to a stop. "Let Spinelli know that I'm putting a temporary cap on all challenges until you're all settled in. He's expecting me to hand out the new one tonight, and I don't have it."

"That's fine," the brunette called back, already in the dining room. "A little break should hopefully also break the nerd's winning streak."

At about noon the next day, Jason decided to stop over at Sonny's penthouse before heading to the warehouse, mainly to go over some of the things he needed to take care of by week's end but also to see how Elizabeth was progressing with the big move.

But he didn't see any signs of the little brunette when he let himself into Penthouse IV. Instead, he saw Sonny sitting on the couch with a file of printouts, most likely from Stan or the boys in Accounting, and a tall glass of water. The air conditioning, as usual, was blaring and Jason absently tugged on the sleeve of his t-shirt, wondering what his neighbors had against fresh air.

"Hey," he nodded at his partner. "Listen, I'm heading over to the warehouse now to talk to Benny about the shipments. I'll stop by and get the information on Tomassino from Stan, too."

"Great," Sonny replied. "I put a rush on it, so he should have it by now. I already have the paperwork from Benny – it's right here, just going through it – and I was going to stop by a give it to you or Spinelli, but things got a little busy around here."

Jason nodded. "That's fine. Saves me some time." He glanced around the seemingly quiet and in order penthouse. "So…she move out yet or what?"

He only meant it partially as a joke, and that was why Jason was so surprised when Sonny nodded casually. "Yeah, almost."

"You're kidding."

The mobster glanced up, confused, and shook his head. "No. She's almost done. Got all the stuff over to Penthouse VI in shifts, and I think she only has to clean out her bathroom and grab her shoes now. Then comes the hard part – unpacking all of it."

"She's already done?" Jason still couldn't believe that. "It's only noon. I didn't even hear any-"

Sonny shrugged. "She worked fast. I tried to help, but she knew I had work to do and told me she was fine. Max and the guys helped carry some of the heavier boxes. Elizabeth's not into big productions, Jason. She works quickly and quietly and only takes a break when she's done. She doesn't bother to stop and chat about it in the middle of it."

"Hey, Stone Cold, Mister Corinthos Sir." Spinelli poked his head into the penthouse and looked around. "Cold in here."

"Yeah, I'm thinking about turning down the AC in a bit, opening up some windows," Sonny replied, placing all the printouts back in the folder and standing to hand them off to Jason. "What are you doing here? I thought you had class."

Spinelli shook his head. "The professor cancelled. I'm free for the morning. Hey, is the Dragon still around? I have stuff for her."

"Elizabeth's over in her new penthouse," Sonny explained, jerking his thumb toward the wall that he now shared with his ward. "She's just about done moving all of her stuff over there. Was there something you needed from her?"

"Something I need to give her," the boy corrected, holding up a small stack of paperbacks. "She lent me some of her books for Critical Methods and I finished all of them and thought I'd give 'em back."

"Just drop them in the laundry basket," came a voice from behind him, and Spinelli turned around to see Elizabeth come in through the door with a large black basket in her hands. "You done already?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Spinelli replied, setting the books down as she had asked. "Almost done with the move, huh?"

She nodded and moved around him to get to the stairs. "Yup, almost. Just have to get the last of my stuff from the bathroom. Be down in a little while."

Sonny watched her scurry up the steps until she disappeared from sight. "As soon as she leaves, help me open the windows."

Spinelli laughed at that. "You can't stand the AC this low either, huh?"

The mobster shook his head with a beleaguered sigh, making Jason smirk. "It's fine if it's ninety degrees out like it was before, but today's a perfectly nice day…and she still keeps it cold in here."

Spinelli smiled and hopped over the armrest of the little green armchair and sat down, drumming his fingers on the edge of the cushion. "Well, our place is almost always hot and really muggy – I don't think we've used the AC once since we moved in, right, Stone Cold?"

Jason shook his head and leaned against the armchair. "I don't like to."

"I use it moderately," Sonny allowed. "Elizabeth likes it on every day, though. As soon as she's done picking up her things, I'm turning it down."

"Are you whining about the air-conditioning again?" the brunette teased, coming down the stairs with her laundry basket half full of various odds and ends. "Well, you can turn it back to subterranean rainforest conditions again once I'm out of here."

"You sure you got everything?" Sonny asked, peeking into her basket as Jason discreetly did the same, just to see what sort of 'odds and ends' a girl like Elizabeth kept around. "You left your blow dryer in my bathroom two days ago, remember?"

"I got it," she nodded, jiggling the contents of her basket. "I went around to every room and made sure to grab everything that was mine."

"And all your shoes?"

"I took half earlier, and I'll come back for the rest."

This went on for another few minutes as Sonny suggested an item and Elizabeth ran it off her list, and gave Jason some time to check out her possessions. There were a few hairbrushes, an unassuming little pack of menstrual pills, a half-empty bag of cotton balls, a set of Russian nesting dolls, and some hairspray, among other things. Jason frowned and went back to leaning against Spinelli's armchair. He liked to run his hands through a woman's hair and hated it when it was weighed down with hairspray and holding gel and all of that junk.

"Okay, so I'm going to go take care of this stuff," the brunette smiled, tipping her head toward the door. "I'll come back later and do a final run-through, and get my shoes."

"We'd be happy to help if you need it," Sonny volunteered, earning sour looks from Jason and Spinelli. "Just let us know what you need done."

"Well, I might take you up on that," Elizabeth replied slowly, eyeing Jason's arms. "I've got a bunch of boxes full of books that I need to get upstairs."

"I have to go to the warehouse," the enforcer replied quickly, fairly launching himself off the armrest and toward the door. "Work to do."

"I have my next class in an hour," Spinelli hurriedly explained, following suit. "Gotta get my learn on. Later, Mister Corinthos Sir, Dragon. Happy trails."

Elizabeth frowned as she watched the two men retreat. "Nerds."

He felt bad for refusing to help Elizabeth for the next twenty minutes, and then found himself elbow-deep in work so the guilt was soon forgotten. But it returned later, once things eased up, and by seven o'clock Jason couldn't seem to shake it off.

So he left the warehouse and stopped by Spinelli's favorite new pizzeria on Birch Drive and picked up a large order, then headed back to Harborview. Sonny was out somewhere, judging by the fact that Jason didn't see his favorite car in the garage, so he didn't bother stopping at Penthouse IV first.

Instead, he went over to Penthouse VI, took a deep breath, and knocked.

"It's open!"

She sounded close by, and Jason shifted his grip on the pizza boxes and reached for the knob. "Spinelli wanted to order in and I thought you might want something to…"

He pushed the door open and found himself staring at Elizabeth and about six or seven of his bodyguards. "…eat."

Nine pairs of eyes stared back at him in surprise, and Elizabeth was the first to regain her composure. "Oh, you brought pizza. Yeah, Spinelli was telling me that Luna Mezzo Mare has great food."

"That was nice of you, Boss," Milo ventured, tipping a bottle of beer at Jason. Max, Ritchie, and Johnny nodded. Marco and Trevor just exchanged suspicious glances and kept silent. Stan, however, regarded the situation with open curiosity and just a hint of disdain.

As Jason soon realized, Elizabeth was done with not only her moving ordeal, but also almost all of the unpacking. A stack of empty boxes was piled up in the corner of the room, and there was only one remaining box marked Books + CDs sitting by the foot of the stairs. She had apparently gathered up the guys who had helped her move and they were currently sitting on the floor by the fireplace with empty plates littering the coffee table Sonny had purchased for the new place.

"We actually just ate," the brunette replied slowly, gesturing to the empty plates and the beer bottles all the guards held. "It was a long day so we figured an early dinner was in order. Thank you, though. It was really nice of you and Spinelli to, uh…think of me."

And as if the fact that Jason was actually being nice to her wasn't bewildering enough, Spinelli chose that moment to walk by and poke his head into her new penthouse. "Hey, Dragon. Silent Sentinels."

"Spaghetti," they all replied together, raising their bottles.

The boy grimaced, but his frown soon faded when he noticed what his mentor was holding. "Hey! Luna Mezzo Mare! Thanks, Stone Cold! I had no idea you were bringing that – otherwise I wouldn't have made bologna sandwiches. But bologna goes well with pizza, right? It's like double the fun…of meat."

The guards exchanged glances as Elizabeth puzzled over this remark, and they all lifted their bottles to their lips at the same time in order to hide mocking grins that would have instantly had them seeking either new employment or medical attention.

"Get out," Jason ordered, half-shoving Spinelli out the door.

"But I-"

"Move," he interrupted, backing out himself. "And take these."

"Sure, but I don't know what you're so mad about-"

"Just take them and get out of my face-"

Elizabeth arched a brow as the door slammed shut, certain that she'd never be able to figure out Sonny's Lurch of an enforcer.

"See?" she asked her friends, all of whom had fallen suspiciously silent except for the occasional snicker. "Didn't I tell you he was weird?"