Jesus christ 4(?) months came and went really quickly and i had nothing to show for it, the motivation would just not come to me. But here i am, and this time there will definitely be a chapter in either a week or a few days. wish me luck for year 11 im ready to dieee.
Anyway, i'm not that salty at Thor Ragnarok, i actually loved it, it was the perfect balance of hilarity + it played the Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin! I'm just lowkey salty at the portrayal of certain mythologies, but no, i don't hate it.
I hope you enjoy this sad sad excuse of a story. And thank you to MasterQwertster for betaing for me so quickly !
Luffy laughs as free as a lark, at the sight of Zoro covered in sea-weed. They're back at the beach, as a family and Sanji had gone into the waves with a smirk, returning from the waves with a clump of seaweed in hand.
"Oi, curly-brow." Zoro says, truly looking like a demon of the sea as he emerges from the sun-shade, brandishing a slowly melting ice-block. He hurls it, hitting right between Sanji's curly brows.
Taking a moment to gape as the liquid slowly trickles between his eyes, Sanji grabs a handful of sand and throws it at Zoro, accidentally catching Franky in the crossfire. "Oi, oi! If this is a sand war you're going to have to… count me in!" And his big hands scoop up massive piles of sand, dusting them with the sand.
"Oh it is on." Usopp declares, rifling through his bag for the rotten eggs he stores in there for moments like these.
"Wah, no, Usopp!" Luffy rolls out of the way by a hair breadth, the egg landing on… Nami…
"…"
"…"
"and 3… 2… 1…" Zoro murmurs under his breath as Usopp's face greys to the point of death having warmed over.
"USOPP!" The earth shakes with the power of her roar as the demoness grabs the running sniper by the ear and then whispers quietly in his ear. "I can hurt you with words…"
"Nami?"
"Your debt is infinite." She smirks as he begins to bawl his eyes out and he lands on the ground, curling into a little ball.
Luffy begins to laugh again, and before long, the entire group (sans the culprit and victim) laugh along at the scene. The man's laughter is simply infectious.
"Don't worry Usopp, I'm sure it can't be tha-" Jinbe tries to comfort the man who tilts his head, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"How? Being in debt to Nami is like signing your own death warrant." Usopp cries.
"Fufufu, quite the dilemma, is it not, Usopp?" Robin laughs.
"That's not helping, Robin." Chopper says as Usopp falls back into the sand.
"Do you think we should be serving grape juice or wine at his funeral?" Sanji muses.
"Superrrr! Cola!" Franky cries.
"Sake." Zoro says.
"Tea." Jinbe snorts, giving into the inevitable antics.
"What about the blood of Nami's victims? Much more poetic." Robin laughs disturbingly, which is acceptable, given that it's Halloween.
Even so, the group cringes away at the graphic description while Sanji taps his chin thoughtfully, adding to Usopp's utter misery. "If you're going to kill me, make it quick."
"Nuh uh! Not so quickly! I'll hunt you down even through whatever after-life there is until you cough up your money!" The demon herself declares, looming over the poor soul who dared antagonise her.
Zoro nods like he has proof that she can do that. Nobody doubts it, given how many times Nami has accidentally-on-purpose put someone into debt for speaking to one of her nakama.
She would make an excellent lawyer, quite compelling, but she seems to be against doing anything to represent people she knows have committed awful crimes.
Checking his watch Jinbe declares, "It's time to reapply lest you all burn."
Luffy sighs but does as he's told. He's never been sunburnt in his life, but he supposes that just means he should be extra careful.
"I think we should be leaving anyway." Chopper says, looking at his own watch.
"Yes, we wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to extort candy." Robin laughs sweetly.
"I don't think that's what Halloween is about Robin…" Usopp says.
"It certainly used to be, the one night a year when the youth became miscreants." Robin sighs longingly.
"What time are we going trick or treating again?" Franky asks, slowly edging away from where Robin is languidly reading.
Nami sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, "Just to be certain, let's run over the plan, again, for the millionth time. If you ask me again, I will raise your debt by 120%." Taking a deep breath seeking patience from gods she doesn't believe in, she continues. "At 3:00, we'll eat dinner and at 4:00, costumes, 5:00, trick or treating. And, I hear that there is a lovely bar in town that celebrates Halloween regularly, so we'll end up there at some stage."
She's not going to tell them that she feels the same kind of pull to that bar as she did with Zoro and Luffy. Because, it might not even mean anything.
Nonetheless, she ushers them into the Merry minivan and Sanji's Porsche and they go on their merry little way back to the Thousand Sunny.
Nami hums appreciatively as the Thousand Sunny comes into view. They park and Sanji rushes off to begin dinner, after all, they are on a schedule.
"Ne, Jinbe, wanna spar?" Luffy asks with an easy grin. Nami can see that he's still hyperactive and sighs in relief when Jinbe agrees.
"I'll take on the winner." Zoro says, grinning maniacally, and Nami internally curses, if those three cost her too much…
Well, let's just say that you could dig a hole through the world and it wouldn't be as deep as their debt. Although… she'd have to start collecting debt of Usopp… with 200% interest of course.
Or maybe she could be generous and reduce it to 195%.
"Fufu, let's hope that Sunny can handle those three." Robin laughs, "And that we don't have to visit the Emergency Room when their bones snap."
Chopper cringes but calls after them to be careful to which Luffy responds, "Of course Chopper! But even if we aren't, you'll be there to look after us!"
"Bastard! That doesn't make me happy!" The student wiggles his hips, countering his words.
Franky sighs, "Robin-sis, Sunny can take anything."
"Oh? Would it withstand a barrage of nuclear missiles?"
"My workspace definitely would."
"Hm, I suppose we would survive the inevitable nuclear war then." Robin taps her chin thoughtfully.
"Hell yeah we would, Sunny is Super!" Franky exclaims and slams his arms together in his signature pose.
"Although, it would certainly raise the question of who would procreate, or whether we would resort to cannibalism if there were insufficient food supplies. Who do you think would be the first to go?" Robin asks with a small smile.
Franky shudders and shakes his head at both questions, "That is so not super Robin-sis…"
She laughs, "Maybe I should write a horror story."
"You'd outshine Stephen King." Franky says, and he means it. Her sense of morbidity coupled with her acute sagacious view of the world would probably bring her to the very top of the food chain.
"Why thank you Franky. Perhaps I will have to dip my toes into the wondrous waters of the horror theme." Robin smiles, clearly pleased by the compliment.
He makes his leave and wanders around to find the stereo indoors, turning the radio on, the news flooding through the entire house.
"And, one last thing, just a friendly reminder to make sure to check your children's candy tonight." The male reporter says, "It's just been reported that a house in Maryland was handing out lollies with expired cocaine in it."
Nami raises and eyebrow, cocaine is expensive, and people just gave it away? But then again, it was expired, and it probably would've killed the children if they had consumed it. She really would have to check their lollies, Luffy would scarf down anything.
Slowly, the smell of ramen fills the house and she finds herself downstairs, watching the men fight. After Luffy beats Zoro (mostly because Zoro accidentally stepped out, going the wrong way) she stands, "Luffy, fight me."
"Hey Nami!" He grins, "Come join me in the ring then."
Jinbe takes his leave to go double check everything is okay with the Sunny and Zoro sits down, drinking alcohol this early.
"Am I allowed a staff?" She asks, gesturing to their 'weapons' wall. It's hidden, and can only be unlocked by, firstly, one of them, and secondly, by a certain panel that seamlessly fits into the wall.
"Sure, I'll use one too then." She glances up in surprise at that, she never knew he could use one.
So, she pulls out the collapsible staff and watches as Luffy chooses the bo staff. "Have you used one of those before?"
"Dunno." He doesn't elaborate so she doesn't ask.
Zoro watches them with interest, and calls out, once more, "I'll fight this winner too."
"You ready?" Nami asks. When Luffy nods she leaps forward, flipping her staff between her fingers, slamming it down. Luffy blocks it with ease and swipes it to the side before aiming for her legs.
She jumps backward, narrowly missing stepping outside of the circle. Without preamble, Luffy rushes her and at the last second, switches the bo staff to his left hand, slamming it into her thigh. She lands on one knee wincing and from her vantage point, uses his momentum to try and push him out of the ring.
He leaps back and waits for her to rise. She's building up a sweat whereas he's not even breathing heavily.
Before either can advance, Sanji's voice calls over the speaker system, "Dinner's ready Nami-swan, Robin-chan, and the rest of you idiots." His voice flattening out when he mentions the males of the house.
"Tch, dumb curly-brow." Zoro says. He didn't know that Luffy could use a staff, but it was apparent that he was quite adept at it.
He'd have to take him up on a fight, staff against swords.
"Food!" Luffy yelps in excitement, replacing the bo staff in the wall with more care than Nami knew he possessed.
Zoro waits by what Nami assumes he thinks is the door but is really just the 'Super secret' entrance to the lobby of Franky's lab.
"Over this way Zoro!" Luffy tugs the green-haired man out of the sparring room, ignoring his grumbling.
Dinner is an affair as always, Luffy trying to steal more while he's consuming his own bowl.
Usopp regales Luffy with a tale of great adventure in a vain attempt to finish his own dinner before Luffy can steal it. He ropes Chopper in as well and Luffy manages to steal the student's bowl before he can realise it.
"Luffy!" Chopper cries in dismay when he notices that his own place-mat is empty.
The man in question looks far too innocently at Chopper, even though the noodles can be seen in his mouth, "What?"
"Did you steal my ramen?"
Luffy sweats for a moment before looking the other way and whistling to convey his 'innocence'.
"Here you go Chopper. Shitty-captain, if you steal this bowl, consider going on a vegan diet for a month." Sanji warns as he scoops some extra into the students' bowl.
Luffy's mouth gapes in horror, "Beacon diet? Does that mean that all I eat is light?"
Nami wonders where he heard that, but Sanji inhales his cigarette and exhales, putting on his scariest face, "Yes, all you will be able to eat is light, so stop stealing other people's food!"
Usopp gulps in empathetic fear, "Never…"
Robin laughs, and Nami joins her, the expression on Luffy's face is perfect and she wishes she had her camera on her.
"Zoro! Save me!" Luffy shouts in terror.
"Nah, maybe it'll teach you not to steal other people's food." Zoro says, leaning back on his chair, bottle of sake in hand.
Luffy whispers in his ear and he snaps to attention, "Curly-brow, if you steal his food I will cut you into little pieces." Dude, what did Luffy say?!
"Tch, I'd like to see you try."
"Should we attempt to stop them?" Jinbe asks cautiously to Usopp.
"Nah, if they fight it out now then there's a higher chance we'll have a fight-free evening trick or treating."
It's chaotic and Nami wouldn't have it any other way, Sanji keeps gushing over them while pouring white wine for them and tea seeing as they wouldn't want to be too tipsy tonight, even though Nami is no light-weight and neither is Robin.
Actually, none of them are really lightweight except for maybe Chopper who has only been able to drink watered down beer and mocktails. Franky, Usopp, and Sanji start to get merry after their fifth hard shot so, they're the designated light-weights.
"Ahhh… that was so good! Thank you Sanji!" Luffy smiles and pats his stomach in content.
Sanji smokes his cigarette to hide his grin of pleasure while he says, "Tch, it's no big deal idiot."
"Anyway, this is our first Halloween together, so I made you all something…" Sanji says, "Usopp helped me out a bit, I suppose."
He disappears into the cavernous kitchen, returning in a moment with a trolley housing something large (Nami knows what it is, but she'll indulge Luffy and Chopper), covered by a sheer sheet.
"I hope it's better than the mud in the backyard." Zoro mutters quietly. They all hear, but Sanji seems enraptured by the two knuckle-heads beating the table with their cutlery.
"Calm down idiots. Robin-chwan, Nami-swan, I hope you enjoy this delectable treat," And with a flourish he whips the sheet away. It falls to the ground softly as they gasp in light surprise at the sight sitting atop the metal trolley.
It's easily twice the size of a wedding cake (and it probably tastes better than some dumb heavenly emper-) with a creamy looking orange and black frosting frozen mid-drip over the five tiers, on the base layer, a cemetery with a weird looking skeleton with an afro holds a rotting violin to the 'sky'.
"The fog is dried ice, it looks better like that anyway." Usopp says, and while he looks amazed by the overall product, he's still proud of it
The sky has been painted on the base of the next tier, a murky green colour, a moon being the piece the violinist stares at.
On the next tier a forest filled with bits and pieces of candies reside amongst stringy bushes, tiny faces drawn on top of them, pretty much everything has a weird little face, and in the 'sky', the sun and clouds swirl with demonic faces.
Beyond that, a brighter tier, filled with pinks and purple swirls, cotton candy dotting the landscape demands attention from its' incongruous to the overall theme of the cake, "Why is that tier pink Sanji?" Chopper asks.
"Well, the theme is scary things and well, it just seemed terrifying."
"Yeah, pink is such a thing to be terrified of." Zoro comments with a nasty grin.
The next tier is a forest with a menagerie of creepy crawlies hidden throughout it, with miniature figures running in fear from the bugs. It has the typical Halloween elements, fiery pumpkins, ghostly looking figures, dead bodies, that sort of thing. And Nami's pretty sure that that tier has elements of meat in it.
The top tier is what Nami presumes is them, but they're each on their own, separated by an imaginary clockwork piece, each section decorated differently, all of them are different too, it's artfully tasteful, but still saddening.
Nami thinks that some of the cake is made from meat and wonders how he would have been able to mix the two together.
Sanji claps his hands, "Now, which tier do you idiots want?"
"The one with meat in it!" Luffy shouts excitedly, and Nami knew that he'd be able to smell it.
"I was talking to the ladies, Luffy, they get first choice." Regardless, he cuts the sections with meat in it, specially made for Luffy.
Robin puts her fingers on her chin and taps it, "I would like a small piece from the bottom tier, but it would be prudent to allow the others chose first, I think."
After everyone is settled with their generous servings of cake, Sanji takes a piece for himself, Nami notes that nobody took any from the top tier, "So, the theme is things that terrify you, isn't it?" Jinbe asks.
"Mhm."
"I see."
After they finish the desert, Luffy bows in a rare display of courtesy and says, "Thank you for this delicious meal."
Sanji barely refrains from blushing, Nami thinks it's cute.
"Alrighty people! Costume time! You can come to me for makeup, we are all going to be flawless." She declares with a feline grin, she still hasn't decided whether she was going to charge them.
They all scurry off into their rooms and within the half hour, inevitably return to the lounge room, sliding down their slippery dip with the ease and grace of five-year-olds, "Shishi, I don't want makeup Nami."
He changed very quickly, Nami knows because she finished quickly too, it was easy for her costume, and besides, she's quite efficient when it comes to changing clothes.
"Sure." She's already finished her own design, choosing to be Queen Ravenna from the Huntsman, because why not?
It may or may not be because the queen was mostly dressed in golden garments in the beginning, so, she chose to wear spray painted feathers, a striped bodice and pleated golden skirt.
The 'golden' rings are sharpened to the point that they would be on par with Zoro's beloved swords.
She only does so because it's going to be dark at some stage and who knows what creepers hide out at night. Actually, that's a lie, she's known a few assholes hiding out in the night, thank goodness for Zoro getting lost 24/7.
Anyway, they're incredibly sharp and she'll have to put them in some godamn foam and hope they won't tear the fabric to shreds.
"Do you like my dreads?" Luffy says with a grin, twirling the fakes around his fingers, he has a pistol and two short-swords strapped to his leather belt he's borrowed from Robin, a cotton shirt on tucked into leathery pants.
He's already rolled up the pants to his knees though, defeating the purpose of the length, she pinches her chin, "Luffy, why are your pants rolled up?"
"Because it's so hot." He whines.
She sighs, and in a second he lights up, "Actually Nami! Will you do a scar underneath my left eye?"
"Sure." She says and pats the chair for him to sit down and opens her extensive box of makeup, choosing some black pencil eye-liner, she draws a little half crescent scar underneath his eye.
When she finishes she can't help but notice him withdraw his hand from his chest and she asks quietly, "Is your chest hurting?"
His hand freezes and he hangs his head like a dog caught committing a crime, "A bit."
She nods and reaches into her box, "This should help a bit."
It's natural bees wax, the lemongrass kind, and she rubs a bit into his chest, dipping her finger into the round plastic container, "Thanks Nami."
"No problem, Luffy, you keep it. If your chest ever starts hurting again, you put some of this on it, you hear me?" She says firmly, pressing it into his hands.
He smiles again, "Sure, thank you!"
She hugs him firmly and when Chopper descends from the slide she smiles to him and wipes away the few tears that have gathered in her eyes.
"Do you have your little ukulele?" She asks.
"Yup!" Chopper brings up his little ukulele case that acts similar to a shoulder bag lest he forget about it.
He looks adorable as Steven, she's certainly glad he chose it.
"Wow, Nami! Those sure look sharp!" Luffy giggles, looking at the ring claws inside their foam casing.
"Cool!" Chopper shouts and bounds over.
The next to slide down is Zoro, Nami suspects he's been wandering around Sunny for a while now considering his costume would take minimal effort from the swordsman considering that he usually wears similar clothing.
Black jeans, billowing button-up and a piece of black material tying down the bottom of the shirt. Leather gloves and mask, bandanna and boots. He has his three swords strapped to his side but that hardly matters in this case.
Robin slides down with more grace than anyone, in a billowing dress half white, half black, cape attached to the thick layered straps. Her headpiece is a silver crown. "Hel, the personification of the grave."
"Wasn't she in that movie?" Luffy asked, unable to see the way Robin's face darkened minutely.
"Please refrain from mentioning that movie to me tonight, Luffy." She says calmly. "It is an abomination to Norse mythology and whilst can be appreciated for being a film in its' own right, it simply spreads rumours, falsities of the true Norse mythology.
"Hel was the daughter of Loki and the giantess Angrboða, thus the sister of Fenrir and Jormungand. She reigned over the death realm, keeping the unfortunate souls who did not die in battle. She is a cruel mistress, and has been depicted as being both in light and darkness, highlighting her impartiality to those who are among the dead. She was the one to keep Baldur – the most loved in all of the cosmos, when not everyone would weep for his death.
"That being said, if you ignore the falsities that 'Marvel' have spread about Norse mythology, it is quite an intriguing series." Robin finishes.
"Uh, thanks for the history lesson Robin." Chopper says cautiously, unwilling to wake the sleeping giant.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Robin laughs, "I could tell you about how the Norse people believed earthquakes were created, it's quite brutal."
"I'm good." Chopper says with his hands placed in front of him.
"Did somebody call for their dashing steed?" Sanji declares as he sweeps into the loungeroom.
"No, and if I did, it certainly wouldn't be from you, idiot." Zoro says.
"The armour is certainly an… interesting touch." Nami says slowly, to avoid being paralysed from the hug Sanji offers her.
Jinbe slides down and rolls into a standing position, decked in only the finest clothing for the one who controls the sea. Instead of the full armour which, in Jinbe's opinion, would be far too hot for the spring, which is pretty much summer, seeing as there isn't really too much of a difference between the two.
It's either Summer or Winter, no inbetween.
Anyway, Jinbe wears the sleeves of the Justice League adaptation, the shields and gauntlet-like amour looking amazing in the Sunny's fantastic lighting. The pants are the same, tight like lycra but with thigh high boots.
The trident is the finishing touch, and it looks pretty good considering it's from K-mart and made from cheap plastic.
Usopp and Franky make their grand appearance by jumping up the stairs from Franky's super~ secret lab.
"Come on, let's bring it together!" Usopp shouts as he skates around them on his blades.
"Super~! Hulkbuster!" Franky shouts and slams his armoured arms together.
The suit is pretty damn convincing. While smaller than the movie one, it's still the same size as Franky, thus larger than all of them.
As for Usopp, he looks like he's almost right out of Overwatch with his glasses and oversized armoured 'pants', wires hooked up to his sonic amplifier.
"Wow so cool!" Chopper and Luffy scream in excitement at the pair.
Even Zoro, Sanji, and Jinbe are looking awestruck at the equipment.
"Boys and their toys…" Nami whispers, pinching her nose. But even she can admit that they're pretty damn epic.
"Fufufu, I quite like them." Robin says with a smile.
The door rings and Luffy bounds like a dog to it, Chopper hot on his heels. Nami sighs again and follows, putting on her rings (you can never be too sure).
Instead of trick or treaters as she suspected, Ace and Sabo are there, grinning like loons, "Ace! Sabo!"
He tackles the pair and they land outside of Sunny, "Idiot brother!" Ace says even though he's grinning.
Nami leaves them be, the door will automatically shut behind them anyway. She ushers Chopper back into the lounge room and mentally runs over their route through the neighbourhood.
The three brothers eventually return where Sanji serves up spider-drinks, creaming soda and ice-creams because root beer is not something all of them enjoy, and it's been agreed they all enjoy creaming soda.
"Ace, you're Bill Churner right? And Sabo, are you a marine?" Luffy tilts his head in puzzlement at his brothers' costume.
"Yeah." Sabo replies, "But, if you remember, he was an ass in the beginning, but he ended up saving Bill Turner and by extension, Captain Jack Sparrow, right?"
"Hmm, true!" Luffy says and grins, "Besides, some marines are cool right?"
"Robin, your costume is very nice. Are you Hel?" Sabo asks.
"Why yes, it is, thank you, Sabo." Robin says, an appreciative smile gracing her lips.
"Damn is that a robot?" Ace asks in almost as much excitement as his brother as he notices Franky, "And Lúcio too?!"
"I see you have a good eye for good costumes Ace-bro." Franky says with a grin, his visor up.
"Yeah! We made them together." Usopp says proudly.
"They are pretty cool." Sabo agrees. "You all look fantastic."
"Are we ready to go then?" Nami asks, they all grabbed their pillow cases from the communal bed earlier, so all that is required is for them to leave.
"Yup! Let's go!" Luffy says with a shout.
"Hell yeah!" Chopper and Usopp reply in unison.
In spite of the fact that they were going to be incredibly hard to reign in, she smiles.