MONOKUMA THEATRE]
"Have you ever gone camping in the wilderness?"
"Y'know, sat by a lake with a fishing rod and without a care in the world?"
"Sleeping in a tent as rain pounds outside?"
"Though they always say don't have picnics."
"Bears tend to steal the baskets."
"But not me. I'm sure to kill the owners first."
"It's not stealing if they're dead."
"… On a tangent, I wonder how long someone has to be dead for it to be considered archaeology instead of graverobbing."
"Anyway, Make sure you like and Review the story! The writer really needs the feedback! Upupupu!"
[MONOKUMA THEATRE]
"Ahem- attention, all lunatics! It is now 7am! The cafeteria and dining hall have been unlocked," Monokuma announced. "Please, let's all have a wonderful day together!" The monitors shut off as Monokuma finished his morning announcement.
Groaning, I slowly pulled myself out of bed, and got ready for the day. Hair up, clothes on. Things that were almost mechanical to me by this point in my life.
If… everything kept going as usual, then… the motive would be given today.
Could… Could I really accept that there was nothing I could do? Was there really nothing I could do?
I finished getting ready and started heading to breakfast. I reached out for the doorknob, only to hear my doorbell ring. Confused, I opened the door.
Shiro stood on the other side.
"Morning, Pinaix…" Shiro said.
"Ah, morning, Shiro! Sorry, we haven't been talking much recently…" I said.
"It's alright. Can't say I don't miss it, though," Shiro said.
"Yeah, me too. Though you probably have a reason for ringing my doorbell…" I said.
"Yeah, though the reason isn't super important," Shiro said. "Just thought you might want to walk to breakfast together."
"Sure thing!" I said.
We walked at a slow pace, especially considering the fact that the kitchen wasn't far from the dormitories. Walking with Shiro to breakfast was nice… it was something I hadn't done in a while, and I really had missed his company.
I missed him, even though we'd never really separated. And… there was just something about him that I found… I didn't know the words for it. It was a good thing, I think. His carefree attitude, and there was just something about the way his face lit up when he smiled…
"So… uh, I've noticed you've been hanging out with Faol recently," Shiro said, snapping me back to reality.
"I have," I said. "Why are you pointing this out?"
"I won't deny I'm curious what you two are doing together…" Shiro said.
It… probably wouldn't hurt to tell him the truth.
"Um… he was helping me with breathing exercises," I said.
"Huh? You're having trouble breathing?" Shiro asked.
"N-Not exactly, it's… you can't tell anybody," I said. "I've got an anxiety disorder, which is why I've been breaking down at trials."
"Oh, I see… that explains a lot," Shiro said. "You going to be okay?"
"I developed it when I was in junior high, and it's not something that'll just go away. But I think I'm managing," I said. I noticed the doors coming up, so I decided to change the subject. "What foods do you like?"
"That's-" Shiro started, noticing my off-topic question, but as soon as he pushed open the door, he realised why. "Well… gyoza's nice."
Samara frowned, putting her hands on her hips. "Well, the best I can do is a grilled ham sandwich."
"Oh, I didn't mean I wanted it now! Uh, Pinaix asked me what foods I liked," Shiro said.
"Teehee. I know, I'm just teasing. Though I'm serious when I say I can't make gyoza…" Samara said.
"Breakfast this morning is cereal. I can't say I don't appreciate the effort, but it's bloody cereal," Venison said.
Everyone was already at the table, with almost everyone around the communal table and with Yuri and Isayama slightly off to the side at a single table.
Samara pouted. "I know it's cereal! But soon, I'll learn to cook pancakes, and waffles, and make proper coffee, and all that stuff! I just… can't just master that overnight!"
"That's true, but are you sure you don't want any help?" Ethan said.
"Yakumo didn't need help, so I'll try to do it myself, too," Samara said. "I do appreciate the offer, though!"
"Don't know about you," a very unwelcome voice piped up, "But I think that the cereal's delicious!"
Monokuma was seated in the corner, a bowl of cereal in his paws.
"You weinerhole! I didn't invite you here!" Samara said.
"I've been called a lot of nasty names in my time, but weinerhole's a new one," Monokuma replied.
"Just shut up, take the bowl, and go away," I said. "I know you're just here to present whatever sick motive you prepared next. We don't want whatever you have to offer us."
"Oh? Even if I were to offer you freedom?" Monokuma replied.
"You already offered us that in exchange for killing our classmates in cold blood!" I said.
"Let me rephrase that, then. Even if I were to offer you freedom without you having to kill somebody?" Monokuma said.
Tano glared daggers into Monokuma. "If you're not going to go away, then spit whatever you're going to say out."
"Tano, we can't-"
I was cut off by Monokuma. "Why, certainly! Yes, yes, for a limited time, you can escape without committing murder!"
"There's a catch to this, isn't there?" Samara said.
"A catch? No, no. Unless you count being chosen to escape alongside the culprit as a catch," Monokuma said.
"What the fuck does that mean?" Shiro asked.
"Geez, fine, I'll be blunt! If you kill someone and don't get caught at the next class trial, you can pick one person to escape with you while everyone else is executed! There, you happy?" Monokuma said.
One more person could escape…?
My face went pale, and I broke into a cold sweat.
This motive wasn't like the other two – lives to go back to, or memories of the Tragedy.
It was the kind of motive that would appeal to empathy for other classmates, rather than just someone's selfishness for those in their own lives…
How could I ever convince myself someone wouldn't kill? I wasn't even sure if I could resist this motive…
… No, I couldn't think like that! If I thought like that, and…
… if I killed someone…
I slowly glanced around, hoping I wasn't the only one with this reaction. I couldn't be, surely.
And… I wasn't.
Shiro was also freaked out.
But… I didn't understand. Everyone else seemed indifferent or only as horrified as they had at the last 2 motives, at least on the outside…
"Well, there's your new motive! Now, happy killing!" Monokuma said.
"Wait, I seem to recall you saying something earlier. When you handed out the last motive," Ethan said.
"Oh? What did I say?" Monokuma asked.
"You said you would restore the memories of whoever passed the next class trial. Obviously, Akira, the culprit, failed the trial – so safe to say, us innocents passed," Ethan said.
"Yep, yep! And I will restore your memories!" Monokuma said, before chuckling. "Upupu… I just didn't say when I'd restore your memories."
"Figures there'd be a bloody catch," Venison said.
"Well, that's all I have to say! See you bastards later!" Monokuma disappeared.
"… You two don't look well," Faol observed.
I didn't reply. I just glanced at everyone else.
"Huh. After all that talk about getting us to rally together and never give in to Monokuma's wishes, you've got this look in your eyes that says you're horrified with yourself," Fei Hong said. "Shiro does, too."
"I… I won't kill anybody! It was only for a moment-"
I was cut off by Ethan. "It only takes a moment."
"Huh?" I said, aware I was backing away and wiping beads of cold sweat from my forehead.
"I mean only what I said. Though I doubt you'd try to murder anybody, there's no denying that there was one moment in Diddy and Akira's lives where they thought about committing murder," Ethan said.
"… You're confusing the thought with the action," Tano said. "Most of us have thought about killing at least once in this situation, and I don't want you to act like you're innocent. Diddy and Akira were different in that they actually carried their murders out."
"So, you're just going to blindly believe they won't kill someone?" Venison asked.
"I'm not going to… I won't!" Shiro protested, but his voice wavered.
"… Quite frankly? I don't think someone as soft as Pinaix or as simple-minded as Shiro would attempt murder," Tano said.
"Hey- simple-minded?" Shiro protested.
"Case in point," Tano said.
"The ones you trust most can be the ones that stab you in the back," Yuri said.
"Maybe, but quite frankly, I'd peg several other people here for committing murder before Pinaix or Shiro," Tano said.
"God, the motive's making us all paranoid!" Samara said. "Look, how about I just make us some hot chocolate for now and we can forget that the motive was ever given out?"
"Y-Yeah, I think that'd be… good," Shiro said, settling back into his seat.
Samara ducked back into the kitchen, with Paul following her in to help. I sat down next to Shiro, trying to put the motive out of my mind.
It… wasn't easy. I'd been pushing for everyone to rally together against Monokuma, and then…
God, who would trust me after that?
I glanced over at Shiro for a moment, and our eyes met. And… without saying anything, I could tell he had thought of the same thing.
I felt a hand brush against my own and looked over to see Tano sitting across from me and Shiro, each of her hands on one of ours.
"Look… both of you. I don't want either of you to realise the horrific reality that is my field of work. I don't hate you for thinking of it, and if I offended you with my earlier statements, I want to apologise," Tano said. "But I don't want you to give up faith in the group, or in yourselves, and above all… don't give in to Monokuma's wishes."
I gave a weak smile, and Tano, to my surprise, offered one of her own. I felt my heart beat just that little bit faster as her cheeks upturned – but it wasn't the heavy-set, horrific pounding of an anxiety attack. It felt so, so much better than that.
I… was a little scared to admit it, but I think that I'd-
"I'm back!" Samara announced, her hands carrying a tray with 6 cups of hot chocolate on it. Paul was carrying the other one, with another 6 cups on it.
Within moments, we all had a warm cup in our hands. Samara placed her cup on the table and clapped her hands together.
"Okay, now we can forget this motive ever happened!" She sat down and took the cup in her hands.
"How about we make a promise?" I offered.
"A promise?" Yuri asked.
"Yeah. We won't let the motive get to us," I said.
"You nearly did," Venison said.
I pouted. "I know that, but I didn't. I couldn't kill any of you, and I can't stress that enough. I want us all to promise right now that no matter how many people Monokuma would let leave if one of us killed another, that we won't do it."
"You've already said that a thousand times before…" Shayne said. "And every time, you've been wrong. What makes you think this time'll be any different?"
"I haven't killed anybody, and I can't outright stop everyone from committing murder by waving my hands and casting some spell. But… I don't want to give up on myself, or on you guys," I said.
"Can't hurt to make the promise, I suppose," Ethan said.
"Y-Yeah. I'll join in, too," Shiro said.
"Sure, at least for this circumstance," Tano said.
"Yeah! I won't give up on you guys, either!" Samara said.
"Me neither! Though I don't think I could ever murder somebody at all …" Paul said.
I glanced over as Isayama nodded her head.
"Well, if Isayama's willing to make the promise…" Yuri said.
"Bloody hell… this blind optimism makes me sick, but I don't like the alternative, either," Venison said.
"I don't plan to kill either, so I'll join in," Faol said.
"Bweh… I can't kill without it being obvious it's me, and I don't wanna, either," Shayne said.
"I guess that leaves me… Sure. I'll make the promise, too," Fei Hong said with a smile.
"Okay, that's all of us! Now, swear you won't commit murder," I instructed. I felt… overjoyed by just how quickly I got everyone to do this.
In unison, we all made our promise.
"We won't commit murder again."
But whether that promise would be broken… was another story.
We finished our hot chocolate, and headed our separate ways.
I still had the whole day ahead of me… I wandered around the first floor for a bit, before deciding I should probably go spend some time with the others.
I wandered up to the third floor and headed straight for my left. Unsurprisingly, I found Samara inside of her lab.
"Fishies, fishies, fishies… Aaw, you're all so cute!" I heard Samara say.
"Hey, Samara, do you want to hang out for a while?" I asked.
"Sure, sure! I'll introduce you to all the fish! I've already got names for them all, see?" Samara said.
I spent time listening to Samara list off a bunch of names for the fish, which unfortunately went in one ear and out the other…
I think me and Samara got a little closer today.
"Pinaix!" Samara said. "Do you wanna hear a story?"
"Uh, sure!" I replied.
"Okay! This happened about two years ago at my aquarium. We were about six months in past the opening, and – you know those big underwater tunnels?" Samara asked.
I… kind of do?
[The subway]
[Glass tube]
[Shark metro]
"It's a glass tube that you go through, right? Under a big tank with all the fish in them?" I said.
"Yeah, that's right!" Samara replied. "We made an underwater tunnel for some nurse sharks we had, and… kinda forgot the glass had to be thicker than fifteen centimetres."
That… can't be good.
"What happened?" I asked.
"It wasn't the water pressure or anything, but two sharks were playfully fighting in the tank, and then one got a little too rough with the other," Samara said. "Push came to shove, and the shark kind of broke through the glass."
"Isn't that dangerous?!" I blurted out.
"Yeah, I know, it was dangerous! There was so much broken glass that could've hurt the guests or the sharks, and there were little kids down there that could've been hurt or drowned!" Samara replied.
"W-Well, the broken glass is pretty concerning too, but what about the sharks?" I asked.
"Nurse sharks are like big, harmless water puppies, they're not gonna hurt people," Samara said. "Though I get that reaction, considering the crap-ton of money that movies like Jaws made."
"I see… can't shake the fear in a couple of days, unfortunately," I said, chuckling nervously.
"Yeah, I get that too. But if you ever do come to my aquarium, I'll let you pet them!" Samara said. "The ones at my aquarium are so tame that they'll let me swim with them!"
Isn't that a health code violation…? Samara's aquarium sure is strange…
We talked a little more, before we parted ways again.
I still had a little bit of time today…
I went down the stairs, and headed into the recreational room, where I saw Paul standing on a footstool and playing pool with himself.
"I don't really like the pool table being in here, but I can't move it out…" Paul muttered to himself.
"Hey, Paul, do you want to spend some time together?" I asked.
"Oh, sure! Uh, do you know how to play?" Paul said.
I spent some time playing some heavily modified pool rules with Paul…
I think Paul and I got a little closer today.
"Hey, uh, Pinaix, I've been meaning to ask…" Paul began. "What does a shadow puppeteer do?"
"Um, well, my talent is a very niche one… I basically go around and perform shadow puppet shows," I said. "Though that's usually just in my local area."
"I see… Do you use your hands for everything?" Paul asked.
"I use my hands for a lot, but I've used paper backdrops on a light as well," I said. "I'm more curious about your talent, if I'm honest."
"W-Well, plants produce the oxygen we breathe, and we use them Daily, but… I don't wanna get too boasty about it," Paul said.
"I see… do you have a favourite plant, Paul?" I asked.
I could see Paul's eyes light up.
"Oh- uh, it's a little embarrassing for a boy, but my favourite kind are flowers! I can't pick a favourite flower, though…" Paul said.
"That's okay. Do you have a lot of flowers in a garden?" I asked.
"Well, I keep a greenhouse, but yeah, I do!" Paul said. "I keep a lot of flowers in there. Not sakura blossoms, since they're better off outside, but I keep sunflowers, roses, hydrangeas, and even dandelions in there!"
"Wait, aren't dandelions a weed?" I said.
"They're classified as such, but they're not that bad," Paul said. "They've been made into medicines, teas, dyes, and are actually pretty helpful… we just think they're weeds because they clash against a green lawn."
"Oh, I see!" I said.
"Y-Yeah! Do you have a favourite plant?" Paul asked.
"Um… it's not something I think about much, but sakura blossoms are really pretty… I also like roses, too," I replied.
"Yeah, they are pretty! Once we get out, I'd love to show you the ones I keep!" Paul said. "U-Um, though only if you wanna."
"I do want to, Paul," I said.
We talked a little more, before we parted ways.
I headed down the staircase, my body feeling strangely tired. I opened the door to my room, offering my phone a brief glance. 9pm… still a little while before the night-time announcement.
I laid down on my bed for just a moment…
… and completely zoned out.
It felt like I couldn't move. Like something unknown was holding me down.
I tried to keep my breathing slow, and wriggle free…
…
…
… and finally, I did.
I sat up, and took deep breaths, glancing around. Nothing was there…
I felt my heart beat faster as I sat up and glanced at my phone.
11pm… but I could've sworn I was only down for a couple of seconds.
I needed to talk to Faol.
I pushed myself out of bed, headed out the door, and headed towards Faol's room, knocking on the door.
I waited a few seconds… and there was no answer.
"Huh…? Faol…?" I wondered aloud, though I knew he couldn't hear me through the door.
I knocked again and rang the doorbell.
And… still no response.
"S-Faol?! It's Pinaix!" I shouted, knocking on the door, and ringing the doorbell…
… and there was still no response.
I backed away from the door. Before I realised where my body was taking me, my hands were knocking on another door. My brain finally caught up, and I realised the plaque on the door was Tano's.
"D-Tano?" I asked. I was supposed to be talking with Faol… but if he wasn't answering…
The door opened, revealing Tano on the other side.
"Pinaix? It's late. Why are you-"
I regretted doing so, but I cut Tano off. "I'm sorry, I'm scared out of my wits right now, can I stay with you for the night?"
… I didn't even mention why I was scared.
Tano paused for a moment, before nodding. "… I don't see the harm in it."
Tano stood away from the door, and I walked into her room. It… wasn't much different from mine, really. There were a few of the sniper rifles from her lab up against the wall, but that was about it.
That did make me feel concerned, though…
"Where'd the- "
It was Tano's turn to cut me off.
"Cyanide go? It's in the end table. I don't expect you to open it, though." Tano's expression softened. "Now… why are you scared?"
"I… I'm… sorry, I should've said this earlier. I've got an anxiety disorder," I said.
"I… kind of figured you had some sort of anxiety disorder. I've seen a lot of other assassins contract similar disorders, though depression is more common," Tano said. "But I suspect something set it off."
"S-S…" I stammered.
"… If it'll just make you feel worse to put it into words, then you don't have to tell me," Tano said. "Is there any way I can help you right now?"
I shook my head.
"Okay. I'll get you some water anyway," Tano said.
Tano walked to the bathroom, leaving me alone in her room and seated on her bed.
… should I tell her?
Would it hurt either of us if I did?
I wanted to tell her, so badly.
It was too soon. Definitely too soon.
And yet… I didn't know how much time I would have.
Tano came back after a moment, but her hands held an empty cup. "The taps aren't working. They were this morning, so I suspect the water also shuts off at 10pm."
"That's alright… I think I've calmed down a bit now," I said. Tano sat beside me, and… held onto my wrist.
That… probably wouldn't help. My heart started beating faster – and both of my emotions started mixing into it. Anxiety, and…
"… You don't have to lie to make me feel better, Pinaix," Tano said.
"I-I…" I stammered.
"… Is there something you want to tell me?" Tano asked.
And I just said it, all at once.
"I love you!"
Tano's expression turned to one of confusion. "…What?"
"I've fallen in love with you, Tano…" I said, and that moment of clarity suddenly sent my pulse and breathing into overdrive. Saying something like that, to another girl, and to a student with the title of Ultimate Assassin…
Did… Did I put myself in danger?!
I felt an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug, and I soon heard Tano's voice in my right ear.
"I understand your worry, and I promise you, I won't hurt you physically over something like this. You're safe here. But… I'm sorry, Pinaix. I don't feel the same way."
I felt my heart sink. I wasn't going to be hurt, and I knew it was unlikely she'd feel the same… but it still hurt emotionally.
"I'm sorry… I should've just stayed quiet," I said.
A moment of silence passed between us.
"…Your pulse is slowing, and you feel a lot calmer… if that's what was making you anxious, then I am glad that you told me," Tano said. "And if you're still afraid, you can stay here tonight."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
Tano pulled out of the hug. "I'm sure. I can sleep on the floor."
"You don't have to do that-" I protested.
"I've slept on the floor a few times on longer missions," Tano said.
"S-Still, we could share the bed…" I said, before realising the implications, especially considering what I'd just said. "T-Though if you're uncomfortable, then I'll-"
"If you're okay with it, I don't see the problem in sharing," Tano said. "Though I don't think my pyjamas will fit you."
"That's okay, I've slept in my everyday clothing before…" I said. "I'm just glad you don't hate me."
"I don't think a love confession is grounds to hate you," Tano said, taking her jacket off and lying down. "… I feel like I should clarify, though. It's not because we're both girls. I just… don't feel those things towards anybody. Boy, girl, something in-between, I just don't feel anything like that at all."
I nod understandingly, taking off my shoes and lying down as well. "It's alright… I must've just absorbed your share of attraction before you were born," I said, laughing a little.
Tano gave a weak smile. "My birthday's before yours."
"By less a month!" I pouted jokingly.
We talked like this for a little while longer… it was nice. We could pretend to just be normal teenagers. That I didn't just blurt out my feelings. That… why couldn't I tell her the actual reason I came here? I'm worried sick about Faol…
Eventually, we started falling asleep. I had more issues with doing so, but Tano quickly fell asleep. She had no idea what was about to unfold…
[MONOKUMA THEATRE]
"Do you ever just get the urge to shake your life up a little?"
"Like, you get bored of something?"
"Maybe you're in a textiles and home economics degree, and one day, you just decide, 'I'm gonna go to law school and become a lawyer!'"
"But you know you'll eventually go back to your home economics degree."
"There's just no way to completely shake up your life in an instant."
"And that's where mid-life crises come from."
"Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk!"
"Oh, we don't do that? Dang."
[MONOKUMA THEATRE]
"…emi. Pinaix. Pinaix."
I heard Tano's voice stir me from sleep before the morning announcement did.
"Uh…" I blinked slowly and opened my eyes, getting used to my surroundings… and traced my arm to being wrapped around Tano's shoulders and my leg across both of hers.
"Oh- sorry, sorry! I didn't even realise-!" I said, quickly letting go as my face turned as red as my hair. As soon as I did, Tano stood up and put her jacket on. "Uh, but the-"
"I don't get up at the morning announcement. I wouldn't have disturbed you in any other circumstance, but I couldn't get up without doing so," Tano said.
"Right, right… I'm sorry," I said.
"It can't be long to the morning announcement though," Tano said.
"What time is it?" I said, sitting up.
"About 6:45," Tano replied. "Like I said, not long to the morning announcement."
"I see… Do you usually wait outside the dining hall?" I asked.
"Yes, I do. I'm used to waking up early. Even 6:45 is pretty late," Tano said.
"Okay…" I said. "Should we go together to the dining hall, then?"
"Sure, I don't see why not," Tano said.
We put our shoes on and headed to the dining hall. For a little while, we were the only two there… but soon, Paul, Venison, and Ethan joined us.
"Ahem- attention, all lunatics! It is now 7am! The cafeteria and dining hall have been unlocked," Monokuma announced. "Please, let's all have a wonderful day together!" The monitors shut off as Monokuma finished his morning announcement.
The dining hall doors unlocked, and we went inside.
We sat down at the table and talked for about ten minutes. Not about anything in particular – just about what classes would've been like if we hadn't been thrown into this situation.
What they probably were like.
But after ten minutes, Venison decided to voice her observation.
"Where the bloody hell is everyone?" She asked.
"I must admit, we are short on classmates right now…" Ethan said.
"Y-You don't think…" Paul said.
"It isn't like it hasn't happened before," Venison said.
"L-Look, nobody's dead. Let's split up and go look for everyone. I'll check the first floor with Venison," I said.
"Bloody hell… didn't even ask," Venison lamented, but still stood up.
"I'll check the second floor with Ethan," Tano said.
"A-And I'll check the third floor with- uh… I'll check the third floor!" Paul said.
We split up, and Venison and I headed to the dormitories.
"I'll get the girls up, you get the boys," Venison said.
"Okay," I said, and the two of us split up.
I started ringing the doorbells of the boys – though I skipped Paul's, Loki's, Diddy's, and Akira's.
But… only Shiro and Yuri answered the door.
"M-Pinaix, good morning!" Shiro stammered… his hair was out of its ponytail again.
"Can't tie it up again?" I asked.
"Y-Yeah. Really should opt for a different hairtie at this point," Shiro said.
"Here, let me help you," Yuri said, before wrapping Shiro's hair tie around his hair.
"Thank you," Shiro said.
"Alright, you two are okay, but what about Shayne and Faol?" I asked.
My train of thought was interrupted when I heard a clapping noise from the other side of the hallway, calling my attention over.
"Bloody hell… I could only get Fei Hong to get up and come out of her room," Venison said, Fei Hong not far behind her as we gathered together.
"This better be good, I'm still tired…" Fei Hong said. "Cute girls like me need their beauty sleep!"
"Sorry, I just got concerned, because so few people turned up to breakfa-"
I was cut off by the monitor switching on.
"Ding-dong-ding-dong! A body has been discovered! Following a brief period of investigation, we shall conduct our Class Trial!"
A shocked silence hung in the air for a moment between the five of us.
"A-A body…?!" I stammered, as that moment finally passed.
"W-Where?!" Shiro said.
As we said that, a pair of light footsteps rushed down the staircase. We turned to their source, to see Paul charging at us. His eyes were in tears and he was breathing heavily.
"H-Paul?" I stammered.
"Third floor! Bathhouse!" He exclaimed.
"G-Got it!" I said, before taking off up the staircase as fast as my legs could carry me. I was vaguely aware of the people behind me, and soon, Shiro had passed in front of me up the staircase.
I ran across the hall, and burst into the locker room, before feeling my heart seize up. Did… did I want to look? Did I want to see? Could I just pretend the discovery announcement was some huge prank…?
No… I couldn't.
I closed my eyes and threw open the door.
And when I opened my eyes again…
… I… opened… my… eyes… again…
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
I screamed when I saw two of my friends... Isayama and Samara dead on the floor.