Emma felt like all the air had been sucked out of the narrow hallway as she gazed upon the brown haired boy who couldn't have looked more like Neal if she had cloned him. He looked at her with such hope and adoration, like she was some mythical being he had encountered, not the person who had thrown him away. She felt Killian's arm come protectively around her waist and only then did she notice she was trembling.
"Swan?" He said in a combination of worry and encouragement and then the boy stepped towards her.
"Kid," she began, her voice more even than she expected it to be. "How did you get here? Where are your parents?"
"Oh, don't worry about that. I wanted to meet you." Henry replied, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be standing in the hallway.
"Perhaps we should move this inside, love." Killian moved forward and began to unlock the door once she nodded her response. Henry practically skipped inside once the door opened and dropped his backpack and coat, making himself right at home. She watched the boy walk around her apartment as if he belonged and her heart clenched.
"Do you have any juice?" He asked, heading towards the fridge.
"Uh..." Killian looked to Emma at a complete loss for words for once in his life. She continued to blink at the small boy, as if she couldn't believe this was really happening.
"Nevermind, I found some." He helped himself to a small bottle of apple juice and sat himself at the table, swinging his legs as they didn't quite touch the floor.
"Hey, kid, I'm not sure how you found me, but don't you think your parents are worried about you? Do they know where you are?" Emma was not about to go to jail for kidnapping. No siree. Henry winced at the question and shook his head.
"No, it's okay. My...parents aren't worried." He said cryptically.
"Do you need us to call someone?" Killian offered. He wasn't sure of what his place was in this situation. The boy shook his head.
"No, I just have to be back at the house before nine." He replied, sipping his juice. The way he said 'the house' didn't sit right with Emma. It was almost if he had a disconnect from it. Were his parents not good to him? Was he unhappy? She shook the thoughts from her head. Of course he was happy. He had to be. She'd given him up to give him his best chance.
"Kid, I'm just worried that someone is probably looking for you." Emma said gently. "I can take you home if you want."
"Is that your husband?" Henry asked, ignoring her offer and pointing at Killian.
"No, he's my boyfriend..." She answered warily and felt Killian tense slightly beside her.
"Is he my dad?" The boy asked and Killian felt like his knees might buckle. Emma shook her head vigorously.
"No, kid, I'm sorry. Your...uh, father is not around anymore." Emma answered.
"Did he die?" He asked tentatively. Emma took a shaky breath and decided that honesty was probably the best course of action.
"No, Henry, I'm just not sure where he is. He left before you were born." She said quietly, as if the words themselves would hurt the kid as much as they hurt her to say.
"But you two are having a baby together?" He pointed at Emma's belly and Emma froze. She looked at Killian helplessly and Killian looked from Emma to Henry.
"Aye, lad." Killian confirmed.
"That's so cool!" Henry jumped up, abandoning his juice at the table and walking over to Emma and placing his smaller hand over her baby bump. "Is it a boy or a girl? Do you know?" Emma felt a lump rise in her throat.
"A girl." She let out in a choked whisper. Killian exuded cool and calm, and Emma fed off of it, needing it to keep her grounded. While he may have projected a solid exterior, inside Killian felt close to panic himself.
"Awesome. I have a sister." Henry grinned up at Emma and she felt tears flood her eyes. She had to get this kid back to his loving parents ASAP. He couldn't get attached to her, she would just let him down. Again.
"Kid, I think your parents are probably very worried. I'm sure you have a lot of questions-" Emma began again, but Henry interrupted.
"Oh if you mean why you gave me up, it's okay. I already know why." His smile softened and he dropped his hand from her stomach.
"You do?" Emma's eyes widened in surprise.
"Well, yeah. You wanted me to have my best chance. You wanted me to have a good life." He replied, nonchalantly and Emma felt her breath catch in her chest hearing the words that were just running through her own head come out of Henry's mouth.
"And do you?" She heard herself ask, although the strangled half whisper in which it was spoken was nearly unrecognizable to her own ears. Henry shrugged.
"Can't complain." He gave a tentative smile and Emma felt like he was definitely holding something back now. Killian spoke up before she could call him on it.
"Well, Henry, lad, can you tell us how to get you home? It's nearly nine o'clock and-"
"Holy cow, it's nine? Oh, man, Miss Elsa is gonna kill me!" Henry leapt up and began to gather his things.
"Slow down, lad." Killian moved to help him. "Who is Miss Elsa?" Henry blinked up at him.
"Uhhh...she's kinda like my house mother?" He offered and Emma had to grab onto the counter behind her for support as realization washed over her. What had she done?
"You- you live in a group home?" She gasped out and immediately Killian moved to her side at the distress in her voice. He knew what that meant for her because she had grown up in the system herself. Henry nodded sheepishly and Emma felt like she couldn't breathe. This wasn't what was supposed to have happened. He was supposed to go to a good home, with a mom and a dad, and maybe siblings, a dog, a tree house, not a group home. She had done the right thing. She used an adoption agency. She didn't abandon him on the side of the road like had been done to her. It was supposed to be different for him! This was his best chance! What happened?!
"Breathe, love. Breathe." Killian's voice was soft in her ear and Emma sucked in a breath so quickly her lungs burned. She opened her eyes that she hadn't remembered closing and found Killian's bright blue gaze piercing into hers full of worry. As soon as he was satisfied she was breathing and no linger in the throes of panic, he turned back to Henry who was bouncing anxiously.
"Let me take you home, lad. We can talk about this all tomorrow, the proper way, and perhaps come to a solution. Alright there, Swan?" He nodded back at his girlfriend and she replied with a distracted nod herself. Killian's mouth set in a firm line. She was definitely not all right, and he couldn't blame her. He would just take the boy home, and they could talk about it. She needed to rest.
"I'll be back before you know it, darling. I love you." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and turned to escort Henry out the door.
"Bye, Emma." Henry said, a little cautiously. Even the 10 year old boy could read the shock and sadness rolling off of her.
"Bye, Henry." She offered softly and the door clicked shut behind the two of them.
Emma sat at the bar counter for what felt like forever in pure stunned silence after Killian and Henry left. Of all the ends to tonight, she would never have guessed it would have ended like this. Charlotte kicked and Emma started at the motion, her eyes widening in fear again. What the hell was she doing having another baby? She obviously had no business being a mother. Look how her first foray into parenthood had turned out. What a spectacular failure she was. She really was in awe of her own poor decision making. She was built to be alone. Anyone's life she was put into ended up messed up.
She looked around at her apartment, no, their apartment, hers and Killian's now, their items mixed together as if they belonged that way, baby items placed here and there, and her breath caught in her chest again. She couldn't be in this space right now. It was a veritable shrine to all the things she could fuck up in everyone's lives. No, she needed to avoid any further damage. So, grabbing her keys and a jacket, Emma did what Emma did best.
She ran.
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"Is Emma gonna be okay? Is she mad at me?" Henry blurted out as Killian set the GPS for the address in lower Manhattan that Henry had provided. He blew out a deep sigh at the boy's concern.
"No, lad. She's not mad at you. She's...upset with herself. But she will be okay. I promise." He looked at the small boy and saw him visibly relax at Killian's declaration.
"She shouldn't be upset with herself." Henry's forehead wrinkled as he thought about it. "She was doing something good for me. I understand."
Killian couldn't help the small smile at Henry's reasoning. The lad was wise beyond his years. It was very odd to see the boy in the car next to him with so many of Emma's features. He thought of the child growing in her womb and wondered if she would look like Henry as well. The boy had much of his father in him, certainly, but he definitely had Emma's smile. His whole face favored hers when he smiled. He hoped their child got this same smile. A sudden longing for Henry to meet Charlotte settled in his belly and he resolved to help Emma in any way he could to be more comfortable with the boy. It would be tough, but they could make it work.
"What kind of music do you like?" Henry asked, reaching over to fiddle with the radio.
"Let's leave the music off for a bit, lad. I need to hear the navigation." Killian said with a warm smile. Henry bobbed his head in agreement and pulled a book out of his bag, the same one that had been laid out on his lap when they came upon him in the hallway. He opened it and began to read intently.
"What have you got there?" Killian asked, trying to glimpse the pages from the corner of his eye while keeping the most of his vision on the road.
"Fairy tales." Henry shrugged. "It's like if they were all mashed together. Snow White is a bandit. Prince Charming has an evil twin. I got it from my teacher. It's pretty cool."
"Sounds interesting. Any Captain Hook?" Killian asked. "He's my favorite."
"Oh, yeah. He is fighting for revenge for his love's murder. He turned pirate against a corrupt king. He's pretty awesome." Henry said, flipping the pages to reveal a pirate that looked vaguely familiar, but nothing like the pirate he knew growing up.
"I always thought he got a bad wrap. That Pan demon was the real villain, if you ask me." Killian gave a smirk and Henry's lips spread into a toothy grin.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Henry said and turned back to reading.
The rest of the ride was spent in amicable silence. Killian found himself warming to the lad already. He was smart and insightful, with a piercing hazel gaze that nothing got past. As they pulled up in front of the large house with peeling yellow paint, Killian's heart sunk a little. If things had been different back in college, if he had spoken up about his feelings, Henry could have every well been his son, they could have been a family a lot sooner. He understood Emma's choice, and supported her to the fullest throughout the process but now that they were together and Henry had sought her out again, he couldn't help but feel the tiny tingle of regret the trickled down his spine.
"It was nice to meet you, Killian! Bye!" Henry shouted and scrambled out of the car.
"Now wait just a minute, Henry..." Killian turned off the ignition and exited the car himself. Henry stopped for a moment and then another voice pierced the night air.
"Henry Daniel! You had us all worried sick!" A woman with white blonde hair came dashing down the pathway and crushed Henry to her chest. Killian made his way towards the two, jingling his keys nervously. The woman's head popped up at the sound. "Oh, you must gave found our Henry! I can't thank you enough. I'm Elsa Drottning, I run the home here." She reached out a hand to shake while the other one kept Henry tight against her. Killian took it gently.
"Killian Jones, love. It was no trouble at all. Seems Henry sought out someone I'm...ah, attached to." He released her hand and rubbed the back of his ear absent mindedly. Elsa's eyes widened and then darted back to Henry who gave her a sheepish grin.
"And who is it that Mr. Jones is attached to, Henry?" Elsa asked, arching an eyebrow with an almost regal air.
"Uh...my mom..." Henry mumbled and shifted out of Elsa's grip. Elsa's demeanor changed and she snapped her attention back to the man before her.
"Oh, I see." She said quietly. "Henry, run inside and get yourself some dinner. Miss Anna is waiting for you."
"Okay. Bye Killian!" Henry ran off inside to a woman with auburn pigtails, Miss Anna, he assumed, waiting at the door and an awkwardness cast a pall over the two standing on the walkway.
"I apologize that Henry intruded on you and your...significant other, Mr. Jones. He's a curious boy, and i know that it was a closed adoption for a reason. Please don't hold it against him." Elsa's tone was noticeably cooler, as if she was expecting Killian to become upset. He was taken aback by the change.
"Not at all, lass. We were surprised, certainly, but we understand. In fact, we may be looking at visiting in the future, if possible. I know the boy has many questions, but we want to do things the right way." Killian assured her and he began to see a crack in her icy façade, allowing him to relax himself.
"I think Henry would like that." She nodded. "Thank you again for bringing him home."
"It was no trouble at all. We will be back soon, hopefully. Have a good rest of your night." He nodded with a warm smile and she echoed the sentiment before they parted ways, her back to the house, him to his car. As he sat himself in the driver's seat and began to pull away, he couldn't help but smile a small smile. Being in a group home obviously wasn't ideal, and a main point of concern for wading through the matter with his Swan, but at least the boy appeared to be in a place where people cared about him. He was treated well. It could be much worse, he knew. They could make this work with him. For him. For all of them.
Right now, he just needed to get back to Emma and everything would work itself out.