Hi guys thanks once again for the encouraging comments and story favourites/alerts; you have no idea how much it means to me:)
Anyway, here's chapter 12. The cliffhanger in the previous chapter would be addressed only in chapter 13 but it shouldn't be too difficult to guess I think;)

Song: I Love You, Goodbye (by Celine Dion)

Chapter 12: Baby It Tears Me Up Inside

25th September, 2018.
10:20 AM.

"When?"

"As soon as possible. Preferably tonight, after we have gone through a couple more rounds of CT scans."

"Can't we wait for a few more days? I-I.. I have some things that I'll like to settle first.."

"I'm afraid not. This should be done without any further delay. Time is running out."

"Is there really no other option?"

"This is the best option, I believe."

"But..you mentioned earlier that there are significant risks involved.."

"Yes, I'm afraid so. Surgery is never 100% safe, especially so for brain surgeries. But I would still advise you to undergo it, Mr Anderson. We've cleaned your wounds and stopped the external bleeding but your brain scans revealed that there are multiple blood-cots in your occipital and temporal cortex. If we don't do anything about them, your eyesight would soon deteriorate and you would eventually lose your sight altogether. Moreover, the blood-cots will obstruct blood flow to these brain regions, which will potentially lead to severe brain damage."

The doctor peered down at the patient through his rimless glasses. "To be very honest here, I can't promise you that the surgery would be successful. As a doctor, I can only offer you advice based on my medical expertise, lay out the options and explain the potential risks and outcomes. The final decision ultimately lies with you, the patient." He placed a sheet of document on the bedside table. "I'll leave you some time to make a decision, Mr Anderson. If you decide to undergo the surgery, please sign on this paper. I'll drop by here again in an hour's time."

The curly-haired man nodded numbly. He watched the door close with a soft click. Footsteps echoed down the hospital hallway, crisp and clear at first but slowly fading away to an empty nothingness.

It was all still and quiet once more.

Hey baby, I'm at Melbridge Hospital now, but please don't panic -

Blaine sat on the bed, propping his legs close against his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees. He squinted at the half-typed message displayed on the screen of his smart phone. Please don't panic? That's as impossible as expecting Kurt to believe that Rachel Berry has better fashion sense than Alexander Mcqueen. He sighed and deleted the message as his mind drifted off to a memory of a particular day seven years ago in a high school choir room. It was the first duet he had sung with Kurt as a new Glee Club member at Mckinley High.

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me...

He was aware of the odds. Of course, it was possible that he would wake up in the morning, and everything would return to normal as if the ordeal had never existed. But there was a greater probability of things going in the other direction. How long it would take, no one knew for sure. It might be a day, a week, a month or even a year.

Or maybe, never.

He knew without a doubt that Kurt Hummel would wait for him. That silly man would stay by his bedside day and night. He would turn down all after-work appointments and shopping dates just so to spend every moment of his free time with him. He would bring fresh flowers and music cds to lighten the heavy gloominess of the room. He would cup his hand in his and tell him anything and everything, from how his day at work had been to the newest fashion trends of the season, talking as if he were engaging in a conversation with a passively listening Blaine instead of a man who was lying unconscious on a hospital bed. That beautiful voice would be the only sound reverberating in the silent ward. It would be a voice brimming with forced enthusiasm, a bright cheery tinkling voice that masked an ocean of pain and worry. However, occasionally, that voice may rise in agitation and frustration, or snap broken in despair. Tears would break free and fall like tiny precious pearls, creating small circles on the sheets and the sleeve of his hospital gown. Yet, the man lying on the bed would not utter a single word, nor would he move a muscle. He would not be able to hold the broken man in his arms and brush away his tears. He would not hear Kurt begging him to wake up and even if he did, there would be no response to any of his pleas.

You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye...

He would only make Kurt feel worse, not better. If the surgery failed, he would be nothing more but a burden, a heavy useless mass of bones and tissues pulling Kurt down to the depths of a dark bottomless abyss. He knew Kurt would never be the one to let go and so he had to do it. He shouldn't tie him down; he mustn't deny him of a fresh new chance to start anew. It would be selfish of him to ruin Kurt's chance of happiness with someone else, someone who would actually be there for him in a way that he could not.

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand
I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me...

It was agonizing – the thought of his sweet, charming angel loving another man. But he had to do this. It was the best option.

Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye...

Blaine glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. 10:50 AM, it read. He reached for his phone and signed in to his email account.

To: Kurthummel
From: BlaineAnderson-Warbler
Date: 25-09-18
Time: 10:52

Dear Kurt,

You must be wondering where I have been, but please don't worry about me, I'm okay.
I left, because I don't think I can be with you anymore. I don't love you the way I did before. And so it's better for both of us to let go now. I'm sorry.
I don't expect your forgiveness. But please forget me, Kurt.

Goodbye,
Blaine Anderson.

He hesitated for a minute, his finger placed lightly over the 'send' button. He would tell Kurt that this was all but a childish practical joke should he regain consciousness from the operation the next morning. But if morning never came for him, this would be the end for them. Kurt would remember Blaine Anderson as nothing more than a heartless jerk whom he had wasted nearly a decade of his youth on; he would probably hate him forever.

But at least, Kurt Hummel would be a free man.

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye...

It hurt more than any punch or kick. It was a piercing pain more intolerable than anything he had experienced last night. He pressed the 'send' button and switched off his phone.

Baby, its never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye...