"He proposed naked?" Amell could barely contain the giggle that wanted to rise up.

Hawke nodded.

"Sounds like Alistair."

While she was happy for her cousin and best friend, a part of her saddened. She'd never be able to marry the man she loved. But she wouldn't let that get her down. "There's so much to plan." Hawke looked down. "What's wrong?"

"You won't be able to be there. It's too big a risk."

"It'd be worth it to see two of the people I love most be wed. But if I were to get caught, it would ruin your day and I'm not that selfish."

"Besides imagine what Cullen would do if you took the risk."

"Considering what he did the last time, I'd enjoy it."

"Angry sex is the best."

Amell grinned, remembering.

"I'm glad things are well between you two."

"I cherish the time we get together even though I wish we had more."

Hawke changed the subject. "How is Anders? He's been so busy with the clinic that I never see him anymore."

"He's… focused. I've never met a man so committed before."

"There is some awe in your voice cousin."

"He does so much good for very little to no reward. He's so selfless it's surprising."

"If I didn't know better I'd say you were taken with him."

"Of course not. It's not like that."

"He wants it to be."

"I'm with Cullen."

"But if you weren't?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

Hawke shrugged. "I want what's best for you."

"And you think that's Anders."

"No, not really. But he's my friend too. The two of you spend a lot of time together."

"We're working together."

"I know. It's just since Alistair I've reexamined my past relationships and seen the mistakes I made. I don't want you to make a mistake. Ugh this sounds horrible."

"You think Cullen is a mistake?"

"Maybe I'm listening too much to Alistair, but do the two of you even have a future? I fear you stay for him and it'd make it too hard for you to leave if necessary."

"I'm not leaving."

"You might not have a choice. Templars have been sniffing around the clinic. I don't think I can protect you and Anders. The two of you may have to leave Kirkwall."

"And you think it'd be easier for me if I was with Anders rather than Cullen."

"Unless Cullen were willing to go with."

"He wouldn't."

"Are you sure about that?"

"He would never forsake his duty for an apostate."

"Even if that apostate was you?"

"Yes. I was never enough for him to abandon what matters to him. And that's okay. It's one of the things I love about him. I'm not his everything."

# # # # #

Hawke invited Cullen to the wedding. He was a bit surprised by the invitation but he agreed. He was happy for the couple. The wedding was beautiful and he could see how happy they both were. He kept thinking about Solona though. One of the mages had recently escaped the circle and he prayed that she wasn't involved. After the ceremony, they went back to the estate to celebrate. He abstained from drinking and kept his distance from Solona.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"It can wait."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Talk to me."

He looked around. No one paid any attention to them. "Your room."

She followed him up the stairs. Once they were alone, Cullen turned to her. "What do you know about the disappearance of Mage Andrews?"

She turned white. He took that as confirmation.

"You can't do that. The circle can't function when mages are escaping left and right."

"The circle doesn't function. It's corrupt."

"We were supposed to work on fixing that."

"We failed. I won't fail the rest of them."

"I can't let you do this."

"How are you going to stop me?"

"Solona…"

"What?"

"Tell me where Andrews is."

"No."

"You need to tell me."

"Or what? You'll turn me in?"

"Of course not. But I can't do my job if you are sabotaging the circle."

"I know what it's like in there."

"And I know what happens when blood mages fun free."

She stopped arguing and reached out, caressing his cheek. "Cullen…"

He pulled away from her. "Either you are with me or you're against me."

"What are you saying?"

"I can't be with you if you are fighting against the very thing I'm trying to protect."

"So if I don't give you Andrews, you're breaking up with me?"

He couldn't bring himself to actually say the words so he simply nodded.

"I'm not going to betray what I believe in. If that means I lose you, so be it," she said, conviction in her voice.

His knees went weak. He wanted to be angrier, to throw all his frustration out on her. Instead he got profoundly sad. "We are just too different."

"Please leave." He could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Goodbye, Solona." As soon as he turned to leave, he could hear her crying. In that moment, he hated himself.

# # # # #

Alistair woke up beside his beautiful wife. His wife. He snuggled against her. "Let's stay in bed for the rest of the day."

She smiled but it faded. "I'm worried for Amell."

Alistair sighed. Everyone knew what had happened last night. Cullen had left without a word to anyone. Anders had gone up to comfort her but when he left he looked dismayed. Probably something about comforting the woman you loved as she cried for another man. Alistair could relate. "You told me before that she was strong enough to care for herself."

"This isn't about her being strong. It's about us being there for her when she's in pain."

"I know. I just want you to know that you are more important. I am here to please your needs."

"You pleased quite a few of them last night."

"I could please some more right now." He pulled her in for a long, lingering kiss.

She pulled away slightly. "It's tempting but I need to check on her. I feel bad that I didn't last night."

"We'll both do it then. But I will have you again my love."

"You'll have me for the rest of our lives."

They dressed and Alistair knocked on Amell's door. He heard a sniffle.

"Come in." Amell had a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Drop the act, Amell. We know."

"I don't want to ruin things. You two should be happy right now."

"We're here for you." Alistair sat on the bed and put his arm around her shoulders. Hawke stayed standing, but the concern on her face was evident.

"I'm okay."

"You're not."

"I will be. I mean it."

"He's an idiot," Hawke finally said, disdain in her voice.

"No he's right. We are too different. We want the exact opposite. I will always love him but I'm better off now." Hawke walked over and hugged her. "It still hurts though."

"You'll find someone who fits with you, someone you wants what you want. Who knows, maybe you've already found him."

"Anders."

"You said it, not me."

"I don't think I'm in any shape to take a new lover."

"Well not looking like that."

Amell laughed. "What I'm not fetching with red puffy eyes and a runny nose?"

"You're beautiful," Alistair said.

"I doubt it."

"No you are. Hawke is right. You'll only be alone as long as you want to be."

"How can I be with someone else when I still love him?"

"Remember what I always say. The easiest way over a man is under a new one."