Beca feels the warmth of the sun on her skin. She feels the ground underneath her awkwardly supporting her body. She feels her mouth dry and begging for rehydration. Keeping her eyes closed, she stretches out her legs and arms. She feels all her muscles complaining due to her movements but she keeps stretching because frankly, it feels so good.
She doesn't want to open her eyes because she's almost certain that when she does she'll find that she isn't in her bedroom or even in her apartment but in alleyway next to industrial sized garbage bins. That's how she feels: garbage.
She talks herself into opening her eyes thinking that whatever she finds, wherever she is when she does will be her punishment. She can't remember the exact reason why she should be punished but deep down she knows she's done something deserving of punishment.
Beca cracks her left eye open first which is shortly followed by her right one. The light temporarily blinds her. Her heart thuds in her chest as her mind tries to guess the possible places she might be. A girls bedroom. On the street somewhere. In a holding cell.
When Beca's eyes adjust she finds herself staring at the azure sky with a single white, cotton candy cloud in it. In her peripherals she feels the sun's glare being directed at her.
She rolls over her once complaining muscles are now screaming with protests but Beca doesn't stop until she gets to the glare. It turns out to be her phone. She picks it up and shakes the sand off of it.
When she turns it and checks the battery about 50%. Then she scrolls through the billions worried of text notifications she's gotten from Chloe, Jesse, Stacie and Aubrey. A few from Luke asking if she met Bumper. Letting her know everyone thinks she's been back on drugs. Great. Most recently there's a few from Emily. The texts go back for a day and half. She must of been gone for that long.
Beca picks her head up and is surprised to see herself at the abandoned park she swore to herself she'd never go back to.
With a sigh she clicks on the last person who texted her and then calls them.
"Beca?" They answer on the first rings.
It takes Beca a few tries to be able to use her voice normally but even then it's still cracks and sound an octave lower, "y-yeah Em. Hey, do you-u drive?"
Emily laughs lightly, "I do Bec but I'm at school."
Beca realizes that Emily's whispering and feels a rush of disappointment, "okay."
"Wait!" Emily's voice goes a bit higher. "I can call my mom though she has a day off of work today."
Beca looks down at her body. She's still wearing the shirt she got from the Junks but it's not perfectly pressed and white anymore. It looks like someone took a hand full of sand and dust and then took a piece of paper and crumpled it all together. Her pants look less dirty because they're black but they're equally as rumpled as her shirt.
She clicks the camera app and turns it towards her. Her hair is a tangled mess. Her lips are chapped. Her eyes have dark circles underneath them. She quickly clicks the phone off.
"Beca, you still there?" She hears Emily's voice.
Oh shit. She's still on the phone. She doesn't know what to do. She needs a ride but she doesn't want to call her friends or her driver. Especially not her driver. She wants to call one of the Mama's or Papa's but doesn't because she knows they'll just alert their daughter or son and that'll be the same as calling her friends. So it's going to have to be Mrs Junk and she's going to have to explain why she's sleeping in a park and looks like she woke up from the dead.
Another sigh, "can you actually give me your moms number?"
"Sure," Emily tells her the digits and Beca puts them into her phone.
"Thanks Em," Beca says meaning it, then as if she has any right to discipline Emily she adds, "also what're you doing taking calls in class? You should paying attention."
"We're just reading Shakespeare and I've read all of his works before so." Emily justifies. "And I was excited to see you calling!"
"Mmmmm, I would be too."
Emily chuckles, "I gotta go, are you going to be at my house when I get out of school?"
"We'll see. Have fun, bye dude."
"Bye."
Beca hangs up the phone feeling a little lighter but now she has to explain everything to Mrs Junk and hopefully she still allows Beca to hangout with Emily afterwards.
Beca tilts her head up to the sky, "God, if you're up there please stop making my life so complicated. I went to church. You know I haven't stepped into a church since mom...please. I don't know how to ask this in prayer. My life sucks so either put an end to it or help me get better."
Beca shuts her eyes and wills her message up to God. Than she gets up and sits on the swing.
She dials Mrs Junks number.
"Hello?"
Beca swallows, "um hey, this is Beca Mitchell. Remember I brought you're daughter home I think two nights ago?"
"Oh yes. Hey Beca, my daughter won't stop talking about you."
Beca chuckles awkwardly, "well, yeah. I know this is totally weird of me to ask but I need a favor."
"Of course, I wasn't doing anything anyway. What do you need?"
"It's kind of a big favor to ask of someone I've only met once."
"It's fine," Mrs Junk assures. "What is it?"
Beca takes a deep breath in, "I need a ride."
Mrs Junk laughs, "oh Beca that's no big deal, where are you?"
"Um, wait. It's more than that I also need you to listen and keep an open mind to what I say." Beca breathes.
Mrs Junk's voice grows in concern, "are you okay? Do you need me to bring a lawyer or something?"
"No, no, just you." Beca gives Mrs Junk the address of the abandoned park and before she hangs up she adds, "don't be alarmed at the sight of me, I didn't get mugged."
Mrs Junk laughs it sounds a little nervously, "alright, see you in ten."
Beca pockets her phone and gives a pointed look towards the sky. Towards God. "I'm begging."
Eleven minutes later Mrs Junk is walking over towards Beca, in dress pants and a floral blouse.
Beca gives a small wave. For a second Mrs Junk shows a pure shock at Beca's appearance then she reigns it in and smiles at Beca. Concern creasing her eyes.
"Hey," Beca says gesturing for her to sit on the other swing. Mrs Junk sits. "I know I have to explain my appearance to you but first I have to tell you about the things that happened in my life that led me here."
Mrs Junk nods patiently. Beca goes on to explain how she got kicked out at seventeen. How she ditched Barden a year later. How she got caught up in the fast paced celebrity life and found herself going to drugs to slow it all down. How Jesse found her almost dead. How her doctor told her to go back home for a year. How she feels the itch. How she met Chloe that cleared her head. How she met Courtney. She leaves out Luke but tell her about Bumper without using his name. She tells her how she can't remember the past day and half but that she's ashamed of how it happened. Then she begs. She begs Mrs Junk to let Beca hangout with Emily because she feels normal when she does. It's not complicated with Emily. It just normal. She begs Mrs Junk for forgiveness for all the mistakes she's made even though she knows Mrs Junk can't give it to her.
Mrs Junk listens understandingly, she nods and wipes away a few tears at Beca's story.
"Beca sweetheart, I know you can't change your past but the good thing about life is that it gives you a future." Mrs Junk stands up and goes in front of Beca. She takes Beca's hands in hers. "I think that you're capable of moving away from that life but you need that right platform to do it. Who are you living with right now?"
"My friend and manager Jesse."
"Okay, I'm not going to ask you to move out but maybe check in with me every few days or something? You can keep the guest room whenever you need a getaway from your friends." Mrs Junk tells Beca. "I'm not going to stop Emily from hanging out with you. I can see how both of you can learn from each other so long as you promise to keep her away from the drug life."
"I whole heartedly promise." If Beca wasn't tired and emotional stunted, maybe she would of cried but she just stares blankly at her feet.
"I trust you and I'm glad you came to me." Mrs Junk tugs Beca of the swing gently until the brunette is standing and hugs her tightly. Beca's heart swells. "Now come on, let's get you showered and changed before Em comes home."
Mrs Junk takes Beca home after stopping at a pizza place for lunch.
Beca showers watching the dirty water snake down her legs and toward the drain. She feels refreshed after the shower and changes into a size to big black hoodie and old basketball shorts that Mrs Junk laid out for her. She sits down at the kitchen table after plugging in her phone to charge in Emily's charger.
"So," Beca says, her fingers playing with the plant that's set in the middle of the table. "You think I'm fucked up don't you?"
Mrs Junk who's making tea for Beca and herself looks over at her, "first of all, language and second, I don't. I think you've had a lot go wrong in your life and no one to really lean on. That's all going to change now, right?"
"Right, when does Emily come home?"
"She should be home soon but she has to do her homework before you two do anything."
Beca makes a face of distaste to which Mrs Junk raises her eyebrows at her and Beca puts her hands up in surrender. "Fine."
"Why don't you call you're friends, they're probably worried sick."
Beca shrugs, "I'll call Chloe before I go to bed but I don't really want to talk to them right now."
Mrs Junk nods and places a mug of steaming tea in front of Beca, Beca thanks her.
"Mom, I'm home!" Beca perks up like a dog when their owner comes home.
"We're in the kitchen." Mrs Junk shouts back.
"We're?" Emily asks, Beca watches in amusement as Emily drops her backpack and then turns to the table. Her face goes from confused to ecstatic when she sees Beca. "Oh my God, yay!"
Emily wraps a still seated Beca into a hug. Beca smiles, she feels something she hasn't felt in a long, long time. She feels like she has a family. This day has been a real eye opener for Beca. She needs positivity to change her ways and positivity right now, is in the Junks.
Emily pulls a chair at the table and sit down, "so I started righting this song. It's only on the rough stages but I want you to listen to it."
"Yeah, definitely."
Mrs Junk clears her throat. When Beca looks over to her, she receives a pointed look.
"Actually Em, you have to finish you're homework first."
"I though you were supposed to be Hollywood's bad girl." Emily complains.
"We're not in Hollywood, are we?" Beca shoots back with a smirk on her lips.
Mrs Junk laughs, "alright girls, before you two take off, what do you want for dinner?"
"Lasagna," Emily says. Beca shrugs and nods. Then they race each other upstairs and head to Emily's room.
Beca lays with her back on Emily's bed playing on her phone while Emily sits at her desk finishing her biology homework.
"Em, where's your dad?" Beca asks before really thinking of its a good idea to ask something that could be personal. Like if someone asked her where her father is she'd probably get mad and tell them to fuck off. "You don't have to an-"
"No it's okay, he's on a business trip in China right now." Emily says not looking up from her textbook.
Beca goes quiet again. She starts thinking of Chloe. She can't help it. Chloe is something she can't just forget about. The redhead is forever engraved in her head.
"What're you thinking about?"
"Chloe," Beca admits.
"Why don't you just call her?"
"Dunno. I feel like we fight more than talk these days." Beca sits up and puts her back against Emily's headboard.
"Why's that?"
Beca looks up at Emily who's now, turned in her seat staring at Beca with a questioning look. "Are you done your homework?"
"Don't change the subject."
"You don't." Beca shoots back. "I'm going to go call Chloe. Finish your homework."
"Kay." Emily says it with about as much as Courtney would of.
Beca's hand trembles lightly with nervousness as the phone rings. Well starts to anyway because Chloe picks up right away.
"Beca? Please tell me you're okay." Her voice soothes her and make her anxious all at once.
"I'm okay, tell everyone I'm fine." Beca says. Awkward silence settles in.
"Where have you been?"
Beca feels a deja vu moment.
"At Em's."
She waits for the jealous to morph Chloe an mess of envy but all she gets in response is a genuine, "thank God your safe."
And then she continues. "Look Beca, I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me. These past few weeks aren't me. This isn't who I am. Everything between us has happened so fast and it's unhealthy. The kiss then nothing. It made me feel unsure about how I should act around you but that's not a free pass. It's not an excuse for how I've been acting. Beca you need someone supportive not insecure and I know I can be that for you. I just need you to give me a second chance and then we can start over and do it right."
"Chlo-"
"Do you want to get coffee with me at Benny's tomorrow at 10ish?" Chloe asks.
Beca smiles, "yeah, I'd like that."
Beca wouldn't of said yes if she didn't think Chloe was being genuine. The way she sounded right now was like how she sounded on the first day they met.
"Awes. I'm glad you're okay. We were all worried sick about you."
"Like I said I'm fine. The Junks are good people."
"I'd like to meet them, I want to tell them thank you." Chloe says.
"Yeah sure. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night."
"Sweet dreams Bec."
Then Beca hangs up the phone. Beca heads back up the stairs but before she can get there Mrs Junk calls, "dinners ready!"
And Beca smiles because everything for once in her life seems alright. She tilts her head up at the ceiling. "Thank you God."