Reflections, Realisations and Regrets
Chapter 12: Survival Part 2
AN: Thank you to my awesome beta Eastern Violet, who somehow makes sense from madness, you rock. Thank you also to all those who have read, reviewed and lurked, I love to know you're around. We now enter the realms of maybe and what if, I hope you like...
Enjoying a comfortable silence, we carried on eating; Rosalie poured us both another cup of tea and I helped myself to some more honey and milk. There were still many things I wanted to ask, but most of all, I had to know, where was my family? Trying to contain myself, I ate and drank as if I didn't have a care in the world.
Rosalie looked at me over the rim of her cup, her eyes sparkling with restrained mirth. She knew exactly what I was thinking and I wanted to reach over and shake her, perhaps even strangle her. Frustration mounting, I was growing more and more impatient. Waiting was never my strong point. I wanted her to tell me everything she knew.
After a few more minutes, she set down her cup and looked at me squarely and said, "They left Highever six months after you were taken. Your mother knew where I was and asked me to look out for you. I did what I could even though I was only able to watch and wait until today."
She held up her hand when I was about to ask more questions. I stuttered to a stop and nodded for her to continue.
"Before you ask, a member of the Tower's kitchen staff is related to one of the families here so yes, I heard about your escapes from the Circle, I knew about each and every one of them. And no, I couldn't have helped you, none of them were the right time, you weren't ready then."During any of your previous escapes the templars would have found you, and discovered me as well. You would have put us all in danger. We could have been sent to prison or worse-executed. We knew what was coming and nothing would stop it. It was only a matter of time, so I chose to wait. And here we are." She took another sip of her tea and watched me process the information she had just given me.
"You knew that Uldred would lead a revolt?" I breathed. I couldn't think and couldn't believe that this woman knew what was coming. Why didn't she stop it if she had the power to do so? So many lives were lost- it just didn't make sense.
With a sad expression, she watched my silent questions flit across my face. "I couldn't have done anything. Think about it. What do you think would have happened if I or a messenger had gone to the Tower to warn what was to happen?"She arched an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly, never taking her eyes from mine.
"They would have laughed in your face, had you imprisoned or thrown you out on your ear. They're the best things I can come up with." I mumbled. "I can't bear thinking about what really would have happened. I shuddered and stopped talking.
"Exactly. The templars would have killed me, they would've imprisoned any messenger and relentlessly questioned them as to who had given them the information. You know how the Chantry feels about divination...it is not allowed. It is abhorred as much as blood magic," she stated matter of factly. "To practice it is to face death without the option of Tranquillity. For me it is as natural as breathing. I cannot stop the visions when they come. Some I can act on, while others I have to wait and see what occurs."
I nodded. Foretelling the future was deemed an offence against the Maker. Only He had the right to determine the future of His subjects. For a mage to do so was tantamount to calling themselves a god and an act punishable by death. I asked her to continue.
"I had to wait, and foresaw no other option open to me. My gift cannot be controlled, the dreams can come to me whilst asleep or awake and sometimes not as whole sequences, more like pieces of a puzzle that I then have to put together to get a proper picture.
"It had been foretold that you would arrive. That is why Jaidan offered you the room in the tavern, and why he brought you here to see me. Everyone in the hamlet has lost someone, and in some cases, more than one to the Tower. Those of us who remain are aware of their sacrifices. We had to make sure that there were others left to help those that needed it, especially those who are able make a difference. You are special Anders, I knew it the day you were born and so did your Mother. Your sister is as well, but your Mother refused to leave her with us. So we waited and now, here you are.
"So as I was saying, they left six months after you were taken to the Tower. Something was extinguished inside of them when they lost you... I have some things for you."
She went into the room behind her and returned a few moments later with an oilskin tied with a faded red ribbon. She placed it next to me and watched as I untied the bindings and carefully opened the wrapping. Inside were a number of objects. The first was a hand-embroidered pillow. Beautifully rendered trees and birds covered one side, cats and kittens embellished the other. Carefully, I picked it up, afraid it would disintegrate under my touch. I could smell my mother. Her scent was concentrated in that pillow, a combination of lavender, cinnamon and oleander that immediately transported me back to childhood. In that moment, I was sitting on her knee whilst she rocked me to sleep, at the table learning my letters and numbers. The smell reminded me of so many things lost and so many memories found. Tears I didn't expect began to fall. I didn't bother to wipe them away.
Beneath the pillow were two small carvings of wolf cubs at play: Brina and Brett, my brother and sister. They were rich with detail and I knew my father had crafted them. Once again, the smells assailed me and reminded me of him: freshly cut wood and sandalwood oil. I continued to weep and Rosalie passed me a handkerchief to wipe my face and nose. The last item in the package was a picture drawn by Brina and Brett on aged parchment, of our family. It was not hard to see who was who and they had written words of love, encouragement and remembrance. Try as I might, I couldn't read them. My tears blurred my vision.
I heard the scrape of a chair and then strong arms surrounded me, holding me close.
Next to my ear, she spoke quiet words meant to soothe and calm and a soft hand stroked the back my head as a gesture of comfort and love. Rosalie let me cry, knowing that my grief was long overdue and in need of release. I was grateful for that, she neither mocked nor tried to assuage me with meaningless platitudes. She let me gather courage from her strength and she patiently waited until the storm passed.
I don't know how long we sat there, but the sun wasn't as bright when I managed to stop crying. She released me gently and without a word went back to her chair. She tested her cup, tutted, walked over to the kettle and began making a fresh pot of tea.
As I sorted myself out, Rosalie didn't ask questions, didn't push. She was prepared to wait and let me catch up with myself. With a nod, she indicated an open door at the back of the room. I walked through to find a small bath and latrine just off what appeared to be Rosalie's bedroom. There was a small basin on a dresser with a pitcher of water, soap and a clean towel. Gratefully, I used this to wash my face and pulled myself together.
Once refreshed, I returned to the main parlour. When she sat back at the table, I was feeling calmer and could even look at the gifts without having my eyes fill with tears. I read what my siblings had written and smiled like a loon at their words of love for me. I traced the words with my fingers, so enthralled by the letters as if it were an ancient text written in some obscure language that only I could decipher.
Rosalie handed me a fresh cup filled with tea and smiled at me. I returned the courtesy and and thanked her for her patience. With a wave of her hand she said, "It's okay. I would have been more worried if you hadn't reacted at all."
I began putting my gifts back into the oilskin wrapping and closed it all up again. I drank my tea before asking my next question. "Do you know where they are now?"
"I know where they are, but that can wait for now," she advised. "There are more important things you must consider before tracing your family. These are dangerous times and there are things about to happen that will affect you greatly. What you do now will affect the rest of your life and once your path is set there will be no going back."
I was completely puzzled by this. "What do you mean? What decisions must I make now? How will they affect the rest of my life?" I demanded.
"First, there is a war coming, Anders and you will be needed to help those who can't help themselves," she stated. "We need you here, Anders, we need you to help us deal with what is to come."
She put into words what had hit me earlier that day. If this was a true Blight, then there would be refugees coming up from the south. They would need a place of sanctuary and we could provide it here. There were crops in the ground, fruit on the trees, and game in the woods, enough to feed a veritable army should the need arise.
"You understand!" she declared. "There is a great deal to do and much to prepare for. There will be many on the road who will need help, a place to stay and will have nothing. We have to be prepared and, show them how to help themselves and each other.
"We watched you walking around the hamlet this morning and I knew you saw what could be done here. We are protected on all sides, and with the right defences in place, we could be quite self-sufficient and defend ourselves should the need arise."
"We need to build more dwellings, possibly ready an infirmary for those too ill to be with their families or kin," I said. "We need to build up supplies of food, medicines, poultices, healing and mana potions. We don't have a great deal of time. Do we have skilled fighters here? I know there are hunters, but protection will be needed in a number of forms."
"We have sent for our kin and they will arrive in a few days. Then we'll gather and discuss what needs to be done to provide protection for the village. With regard to medical needs, we should start preparing those in the morning. In the meantime I'll let the others know that you have decided to stay. You have decided to stay and help, haven't you?" she queried, looking at me intently.
I nodded and smiled, "Yes Rosalie, I'll stay. I had been thinking along these lines this very morning. However, I'll have to return to the tavern to make sure my room hasn't been given to someone else..."
"Don't bother, I'll make arrangements to send your belongings here. There is a bedroom on the mezzanine floor that you can use and you are welcome to stay with me for as long as you wish."
And just like that, the decision was made. I had a new purpose, a new reason for living, and a new family. The hamlet was close enough to the Tower to keep an eye on events there. However temporary my stay, I was needed here, and determined to help whoever that needed it.
I was also convinced that Rosalie had a great deal more to say, that there was more to come and if I was patient enough, she would reveal it all in time. I believed that as I got to know her better she would reveal the whereabouts of my lost family.