Defending his sleeping quarters against invasions only cost Kurogane some minutes wasted in listening to murmured accusations that he was a mean old territorial bear. Any more noisy or energetic tactics the blond might have resorted to were repressed by the fact that the baby was already snoozing peacefully away on the bed, for which the shopkeeper was profoundly grateful.

Not that sharing his bed - again - would have been unpleasant, and that was somewhat paradoxically one of the reasons he wanted to avoid it. At least for now. The more attractive the blond became as a companion, the more difficult it would be to part from him in a day or two. Kurogane wasn't actively trying to sabotage their relationship before it got well under way, but most of the trial period would be spent apart from each other thanks to current places of residence, and he saw no reason to make that part of his life any more painful than it needed to be.

He foresaw discomfort even now while comparatively unattached, if they parted and lost contact and never met again, which logic still dictated as a solid possibility despite all of Fai's protestations and professions. The predicted discomfort was less in the idea of losing contact with Fai, and more in having admitted to himself that his solitary lifestyle could no longer satisfy him. He'd had a taste of what it might be like to be a part of a family again, liked it even though he'd fought against it, and now was finding that he didn't want to get used to being alone again. He would go back to his store but he couldn't go back to the life he'd been contenting himself with.

It wasn't a bad thing, per se. Perhaps even necessary and only a little uncomfortable, like needing to step out into bright sunlight after being too long in the dark. (Or ripping a sparkly pink princess bandaid off of tender skin.)

This snowed-in cabin situation couldn't be perpetuated; that was simple fact. While it was oddly enjoyable he didn't want it to go on forever, but there was hopefully something even better to be worked toward. The echoing quiet of a home too large for one person replaced by the near-constant background noise of another person puttering around. Another body to help warm the bed on a cold night. Everyday happinesses piling up until the little things became one great big store of contentment powerful enough to turn a good life into a great one.

Now it only remained to be seen if Fai was a critical component of that better life he wanted for himself.

After dropping a light peck to each of the baby's sleep-flushed cheeks the potential partner in question pouted his way toward the door. Kurogane waited there, a sigh of relief that he'd gotten out of bed-sharing so easily swelling that broad chest. The air was released as a snort as Fai stopped in the doorway, only taking half of the step that would have put him into the hall and spinning on his heel next to face the other man.

"Goodnight kiss?" Fai requested, tipping his face up and teetering closer as he lost his balance post-twirl. Kurogane would have felt certain that the maneuver was on purpose, save that at these close quarters he could catch the way Fai's breath stuttered and the little uncertain twitch at one corner of that bright smile that didn't exactly speak of ease. He spared a moment to wonder at himself, too, that he should feel as though he knew the man well enough already to be able to catch and interpret these little signs.

Kurogane managed to stop himself from immediately giving a flat negative, already better at remembering that Fai was something more than a stranger to keep at arm's length and not sure if he ought to be pleased with himself or wary of this person who'd covered so much territory in his heart in so little time. Instead he leaned forward and gave the other man another quick peck on the forehead before he could debate himself into an awkwardly long pause. There was more silky soft hair than skin against his lips and it was over just as quickly as its predecessor on the couch. Chary, but still a concession. The "might as well" philosophy was sinking in a bit better, though it still took a few seconds to override long years of standoffish habit. Kurogane was of the opinion that he was doing a pretty good job of grappling with the changes he was thinking of making in his life, but Fai was shaking his head.

"Oh come on," the blond protested laughingly. "I mean, thank you, but don't I rate at least a cheek-kiss by now even if I can't get a real one? That's still family or friend territory for most people, you know. Perfect stranger territory in some countries, in fact. In Scandinavia I could get two kisses."

"This is the U.S., and I'm me," Kurogane retorted, and then took refuge in practicality. "Besides, it's easier on my neck." Fai was tall compared to the national average, but Kurogane still had about six inches on him.

"Lazy old bear," Fai mock-grumped, but then fell to pondering the other man thoughtfully. Before Kurogane could redouble his efforts to get the bedroom emptied out, Fai straightened up and straightened out his expression into a simpler smile.

"Can I kiss you back?" he asked, a suppressed eagerness suffusing his expression like that of a tot picking up on the possibility of lollipops. When a dark eyebrow quirked up skeptically the blond added quickly, "Just like you kissed me."

At this clarifying point, Kurogane shrugged, which was his version of "sure, whatever". Thankfully the gesture seemed to be understood without needing any explanation and Fai leaned in with a widening smile. Under the impression that what the blond wanted was to give him a return peck on the forehead, Kurogane obligingly bent down a bit.

Slender arms slinking around his neck didn't raise any alarms, and neither did Fai meeting him more than halfway but then nuzzling lightly along his jawline instead of tipping his head up. The notion that the blond wouldn't pass up an opportunity to sneak a free snuggle while claiming his approved forehead kiss was nothing surprising at this point. The damp kiss he got right on his jugular, however, definitely got a reaction.

Kurogane jerked up and away, startled and stiff and taken by surprise, and not just by Fai. Soft lips warm and wet against his skin had been unexpected, plain and simple. But close on the heels of shock had been a burst of something rushing up his spine and knocking his stomach out of place as it passed. It was a sensation that he wildly thought "fizzy" and "scorching" came close enough to describing because he wasn't quite ready to grapple with the fact that a quick little nip against his neck was enough to set him suddenly afire with lust.

If he had been completely open and honest with himself in that moment of assessment, he would have had to acknowledge that lust was, in fact, what it was. Hindsight would have given him the reassurance that it wasn't anything all that unsettling, really. He'd already admitted to himself that he found Fai attractive, and the fact that he'd long been alone and lonesome was just that; plain old unadorned fact. What was so startling in the notion that a sweet little nibbling kiss on his neck from someone he wanted would make him want more?

Nothing, of course. It was only natural. Natural that it should make him want to reach out and press in on the small of the blond's back to draw him in closer, let their body heat mingle like a promise of the much more satisfying skin-contact they could have. The scent of food often served to sharpen hunger. A hard winter made him look forward to spring all the more. He craved more of this man's touch and wanted to dull the memory of years of solitude in the warmth of another person's arms. It was natural and logical and he might have admitted it all to himself if he'd had a little more space or time.

Before he could think of pushing the other man away he'd already done it, and found himself frozen with both hands now gripping Fai's upper arms tight, keeping him pinned about one foot away. He couldn't quite sort out in his suddenly short-circuited brain what he wanted to do next, what with shock and outrage and want all muddling together into a confusing mess. He ended up just remaining right where he was, as he was, hands locked and staring down in wide-eyed he-didn't-know-exactly-what.

At the end of his rigid arms was Fai, and as he watched, the man descended through varying reactions of his own. The first sight he registered was that simple smile turned into a playful, unrepentant grin. If it had stayed so Kurogane might have shaken off his strange stupor and gotten grumpy-grumbly instead, but it soon grew fixed, faltered and then fell away entirely. The fair face tipped down a centimeter or so but the eyebrows remained stationary, creating a questioning expression, and then Fai's shoulders hunched up slightly, giving him the look of someone anticipating a scolding.

Which, in Kurogane's opinion, the man had fairly earned.

But he didn't deliver one, because he had gotten his internal language center plugged back in and was already busy lecturing himself. He found himself wanting to investigate more closely that strange shock that had shot up his spine and settled somewhere in his chest, dissipating too quickly for him to know it and only leaving an emptiness that wanted to be refilled. He wanted to get Fai in close again, put the other man conveniently near his throat and get another nip, this time while paying attention so that he could determine whether that first sensation had indeed been a quick flick of a tongue or only a brush of lips. Or see if a kiss - a real one, like Fai kept pressing for - would also recreate that odd mix of restlessness and satisfaction, of hunger and good. Thread his fingers through all that flyaway gold and return the little nuzzle he'd gotten earlier, lock them together without a second thought for where they might end up.

And so he lectured himself harshly on why it would be foolish to give in now, after all his little speeches about wanting to do this right if he was going to do this at all. They hadn't been empty words; he'd spoken the truth and still stood by what he'd said even as he was sorely tempted to do exactly the opposite. And he was going to stand his metaphorical ground, damn it, because it was what he believed and furthermore he also believed in his own willpower. There were men out there who let their dicks lead them around, but he was not going to discover at this late age that he was one of them.

Pummeling his unexpected and unwanted urges into submission took long enough that it was Fai who ended up breaking the silence.

"That...played out much better in my head," he ventured hesitantly, with a nervous little laugh that was mostly air.

"Yeah?" Kurogane responded, after a steadying breath and a quick throat-clearing, quite proud of how normal his voice sounded even as he kept it dialed down for the sake of the sleeping baby not ten feet away. He'd been half-afraid of it coming out as a choked squeak. "How was it supposed to go?"

"Well, I thought you'd get all growly and ask me what the hell I was thinking or something along those lines," Fai explained, squirming a bit within the grasp he was still ensnared in. "And I had a clever response planned about how I'd simply done exactly what I said I would, which was give you the same sort of kiss you'd given me; wherever was the most convenient."

"Smartass."

"Ah, there's the growly."

"Look-"

"I'm feeling really insecure here," Fai interrupted.

"Because I called you a smartass?" Kurogane was perplexed at this. The fact that he could be less than gracious was not exactly a state secret.

"Because you say 'interested' but act like I'm infectious," Fai explained. "The storm's letting up and I found myself wanting a little reassurance. A break-up text as I step off the plane is not how I want this to end. I understand that you don't want to found this relationship on physical attraction alone but I want to make sure it's at least there."

"And licking my neck was the best strategy you could come up with?" The question was delivered with a bit of growl and a lot of incredulity, and Kurogane thought that they might belatedly have that little snarl and sass moment Fai had been banking on. Instead of flashing a smile and coming back with some witty comment, however, the blond only squirmed again, looking like he was trying to shrug uncomfortably. It made Kurogane aware that he was still holding on tight to the other man's arms and he finally let Fai go, resting his hands on his hips after an awkward casting about for what to do with them now that they were empty.

Once freed, Fai lost a bit of height like a puppet on slackening strings; head tilting to the side, smile only half on, arms crossed between shoulders tipped one way and hips tipped the other, strong on one foot and the other knee buckled.

"It proved my point, didn't it?" he countered, argumentative certainly but not aggressive. "I was hoping to lure you into at least a brief make-out session but instead you pushed me away and stared at me like you were worried about rabies. Look, just tell me that you're interested but not attracted. I'm a big boy; I can handle it. We can still watch movies together, just minus the cuddling."

Kurogane frowned thoughtfully down at the other man for a minute. He had an odd feeling that this was one of those moments - usually only recognized in hindsight - where he had an opportunity to glimpse into a window and gain insight into a situation or person. Life didn't play out script-perfect nor was he a trained profiler or psychiatrist, however, and his eventual short sigh punctuated little more than a mental note that Fai possibly had patience issues and that he actually seemed to be more serious about this whole...goldfish thing...than Kurogane had given him credit for.

"No," Kurogane finally replied, in plain English that probably wasn't all that understandable.

"Nooo...what? No, you don't even want to just be friends?"

"No, I'm not telling you that I'm not attracted to you," he clarified, and then forced out an admission before he could think better of it.

"You look good," he said as simply as he could, while silently threatening his own voice with improbable levels of harm should it dare to come out of his mouth at all hesitant or mumbly. He also ordered his hands to stay put at his hips instead of wandering off to attend to a nonexistent itch on the back of his neck. There wasn't anything he could do about the heat that he could feel flaring high across his face, but he tried countering it with a challenging sort of glare.

"But not good enough to kiss," Fai prompted, persisting still but starting to relax back down, smile and arms loosening up instead of snapped all tight and tense.

"Good enough to not kiss right now," he corrected. "I bet you'd get all knotted up about it later, wondering if I did it just to prove a point. That's not how I want it to go."

Fai stared at him a good long while, apparently processing, and then said tentatively,

"If I understand you correctly, what you're saying is that first kisses should be special. Or that kisses in general are something special in and of themselves and are to be treated with respect."

Kurogane reviewed the long-winded concept summaries quickly and nodded, then quirked an eyebrow as Fai unaccountably brought his hands up to his face as if to hide a blush.

"Oh my God, kill me," Fai muttered. "Tall, dark, handsome, not-straight and a total romantic."

"Wha-I am not."

"You are not real."

"Get out."

"Please marry me."

"Out."

"Oh sorry. Romantic, right," Fai checked himself, fluttering his hands in apology. And then with startling swiftness he grabbed Kurogane's left hand and sank down on one knee. He looked up with a ridiculous smile on his face and batted his big blue eyes, but before he could launch into whatever his notion of a proper proposal was, Kurogane recovered and hauled him back onto his feet in something distantly related to panic.

"Oh for...no," Kurogane growled, getting right into the other man's face to say it, then crowded Fai out into the hallway as if afraid that the baby might wake up, witness this idiocy and be mentally scarred for the rest of her life. He jabbed a finger at that unrepentant grin to cut off whatever further protests or persuasions or proposals might be brewing, drawing a breath to speak some threat or ultimatum.

Sadly, his language skills chose to desert him at that moment, leaving him standing there with his mouth open and first finger pointing at an increasingly expectant Fai. He ended up snapping his mouth shut and closing his eyes a moment later while sighing heavily.

"...did I break your brain?" Fai asked in a whisper, leaning over to peer at Kurogane, who had stopped pointing in favor of pinching the bridge of his nose as if willing away a headache. Kurogane nodded.

"Sorry."

"No you're not."

"Mmm...you are correct, I'm not really sorry at all."

Kurogane dropped his hand and looked up again at this, exasperated and yet enjoying this bizarre back-and-forth just a microscopic bit, though not enough to want to let it go on much longer. His first priority remained shooing the bird brain away so that he could turn in and get some much needed rest.

Fai was smiling at him again, but the expression was not any one of the wry or cheeky or challenging ones he'd been wearing in the last quarter of an hour. It was that calm, somewhat bemused smile that softened his entire face and made him look almost like a different person entirely. When Fai noticed that he had the other man's attention once more, it widened slightly and then parted for speech.

"I desperately want to tell you right now how in love with you I already am, but I think it might just make you want to argue again and you look like you've had enough, so..."

He leaned in, cat-quick and with the same feline economy of movement, and planted a light kiss high on Kurogane's cheek.

"Good night," Fai said airily, and then padded away without another word. He was almost out of sight by the time Kurogane came up with a response, but looked back at the belated "good night" from the shopkeeper and flashed his guest a bright smile.

Kurogane stayed in the doorway for the smile and also stood his ground at the fluttery wave, but quickly shut the door on the kiss that was blown down the hallway.