Chapter 12: The Interview
Apartment 558 was not too far from the elevators. The call had come as a surprise. She wasn't expecting anybody who had known the Joker from so close to go into the open for an interview, because Joker did not appreciate telltales…especially when they talk about him. And people, who had talked, had died horribly, confirming the extents the Jester of Hate was willing to go to keep people silenced.
She straightened her clothes and knocked twice on the door. The door opened and a large and very tall man received her. He signaled to her sweater that he kindly help remove and then set on a hanger by the door.
"Thanks. Where is Mrs. Paddleton?
"She'll be with you shortly." The man said with a very raspy voice. This was not the same voice that had greeted her through the intercom before and she found it very odd. The man stood by her and crossed his arms over his chest and she could see letters ACAB tattooed on his fingers. Those were convict tattoos. Vicky looked at the man and he just stared at her darkly. All of a sudden this situation smelled rotten and she felt her stomach tighten. She didn't feel comfortable and been so close to the exit, she bolted for the door. The man quickly grabbed her by her waist and hurled her violently across the room. She landed painfully by the cocktail table and as she tried to rise again, this time holding the taser she had retrieved from her bag, she noticed the man aiming an automatic .44 at her.
"What's all that ruckus about, Polly?" Someone called from the kitchen. That was the same voice that had greeted her before. The voice was quickly accompanied by a face…a face she hoped never to see again. The man with the falsetto voice wore a wide carved smile on his face. She knew the smile, she knew the man and she knew she was good as dead.
"She tried to get out of the apartment, boss." Polly answered timidly. Even the man was nervous around the clown figure.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Ms. Vale," said the man with the Clown face smiling smugly as he straightened his bright yellow vest over his dark purple pants. "Leaving without even saying goodbye…how rude! And what are you doing on the floor? Did Polly mistreat you?"
"Boss…" Polly started to say when he saw the Clown's gloved hand rise menacingly into the air. The thug swallowed hard. The Jester walked over Ms. Vale and noticing the taser in her hand extended his towards the weapon.
"I don't think you're gonna need that, sweetie. Can I have it…please?" The man said tenderly, shaking the extended hand. Vicky put the taser unwillingly in the Clown's hand, and he walked towards Polly playing childishly with the weapon. The Clown stopped within a few inches of the tall man. "Did you mistreat Ms. Vale, Polly?"
The thug shook his head and the Clown looked at Vicky with a large smile. The reported nodded.
"The lady says you did, Polly. She's our guest, not the enemy." The Jester laughed softly, and Polly laughed back, but nervously. The Clown called over his shoulder."Hey…Lou!"
A large man with almond eyes and dark stubbly face came from the inner rooms of the apartment. "You called, Boss?"
"I will leave you in charge of Ms. Vale's wellbeing," The Clown was staring at the tall thug. "And you are going to apologize to her, aren't you Polly?"
"S-s-sure."The thug put the gun away and looked at the reporter, then back worriedly to the Jester. "I'm sorry…Ms. Vale."
"Good boy, Polly. Now was that good enough an apology for you Vick. Can I call you Vick?"
"No!" She responded emphatically.
"Ok, Vick, we can cut the formalities. We are all friends here…that is, until Polly starts being unfriendly. "The Jester gave his henchman and icy stern look. Polly started to hyperventilate.
"I said I was sorry." The henchman sputtered.
"And nobody believed you. You have to go. Bye Polly." Joker came a few steps closer to his henchman and as he started his goodbyes, the Jester rammed the taser between the man's legs, pressing hard against his crotch. The man jerked, stiffened and fell back painfully on the floor where he lay moaning loudly. The Clown walked over the thug and kneeling on the floor, pressed the taser against the man's temple and left it there for long minutes while the man jerked violently on the floor. He finally removed the weapon and the man didn't move anymore. He had his eyes wide open, and stared blankly at the ceiling. Joker looked up to the ceiling too as if searching something, then down to the dead man on the floor. The Jester put the taser on his jacket and rose from the floor while giggling. "What do you know…no smoke? Great balls of fire…. Heh, heh…I love these things…."
Vicky looked at the Clown with eyes agape with horror. "My God, Joker! Did you have to kill him?"
"Of course. We should not promote unfriendliness or rudeness, don't you agree? And his apology was not even sincere" The Clown Prince said with a large smile signaling the reported towards the kitchen. "Do you want to continue this conversation over some tea?"
Joker's lack of empathy for his fellow humans was both disgusting and terrifying. Vicky tried to contain her horror and her rage. She hated monsters like this. "You normally don't chat with people."
Joker shook his head sadly. "How little you know me, Vicky. I chat…actually too much. People just don't listen…until I make them listen. Now, if you are so kind…"
Lou started pushing Vicky along. As she started to walk, she could feel pain on his ankle that radiated up her leg. Great…she was not only prisoner of this madman… she was also crippled with a sprained ankle. She limped slightly towards the kitchen escorted by Lou, who offered his hand for support.
When she arrived to the kitchen she saw the dead body of Mrs. Peddleton lying on the floor. Her face was contorted in a large macabre toothy grin that she recognized too well. Joker venom. The Jester advanced over the cadaver, skipping it as someone walks over a small puddle and stopped by the counter where he picked up a tray with miniature cupcakes that he set nicely on the breakfast table by the wall. On the back of one of the chairs, rested the Joker's purple jacket. The table had already being set with a teapot and two cups with saucers. Joker motioned to the chair in front of him, and Lou pushed Vicky softly forward, but the reporter just pushed back and stood her ground.
"You expect me to sit and have tea with you, like nothing happened, after what you've done here?" Vicky said motioning to the dead woman on the floor. "You must be out of your mind…"
"I'm crazy, yes…but I also make great tea…want some?" The Jester purred innocently.
"You killed this poor woman then fried your henchman's brains. You kidnap innocent children for God knows what, and finally attack the Mayor at a public speech. What now, kill a reporter?"
The Jester narrowed his eyes and started drumming his gloved fingers over the table's edge and Vicky knew that was a dangerous sign. But she couldn't just let this Clown dictate her actions, she was not going to fall prey of terror for this murderer. Her integrity was too strong… the passion for her beliefs was even stronger. As a reporter she was not going to be intimidated, even less by the likes of him. Still….being this close to an angry mad Clown was terrifying…
"Since you like children so much, Ms. Vale…" The Jester started. "Would you like to carve one with me?"
"What?"
"Lou is that kid still locked in his room?" Joker said not removing his eyes from the reporter while his smile widened evilly. "Mrs. Peddleton's son?"
"Eh…yes, sir. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking that Ms. Vale here would like me to teach her how to carve a kid for Halloween. Some people carve pumpkins…I like carving kids. A little messy, but a lot more fun, especially when they scream." The Jester giggled.
"You wouldn't" Vale said defiantly.
"Wanna find out, sweetheart?" Joker responded cocking his head in a condescending manner.
Vicky realized that she couldn't fight this demented psychopath if he still had hostages and she had totally forgotten about Elizabeth Peddleton's son. He must be around ten, from her previous marriage; the only survivor of this family...for now. She couldn't sentence the kid to death just because she felt it was her duty to stand with justice on her side and antagonize the Joker. She was bound to play his game…until the Joker wanted.
"No. I'll talk to you..." She said with a soft voice. "But first, I need to know he is really alright."
Joker rolled his eyes annoyed. "He's fine. Isn't my word enough?"
"Your word is not worth much in this side of town, Joker."
"I'm a man of my word, Vick. Every time I've said I was going to kill someone I have done it, but if it's proof you want…"
The Jester sighed deeply and then produced a small hand held monitor from his jacket. He turned it on and showed it to the reporter, who could clearly see the kid playing videogames with one of Joker's henchman. They both seemed to have been having a blast as both screamed and giggle jovially.
"Now…can we have some tea…? It's getting cold."
"You're despicable…" The reporter said almost to a whisper as she sat in front of the Jester.
"No, I am Scorpio." The Clown Prince said giggled softly. "Now, one lump or two, Ms. Vale?"
"Thanks…but I don't like tea." Vicky said plainly.
"Liar…you drink tea everyday in your office. I've seen you. Green tea...isn't it?" Joker smiled.
How did he know? When had he seen her? Vicky thought. Since when has the Clown been spying on her daily activities and for how long? How close has this madman been to her without her ever noticing? The thought of it scared her.
"I don't like…your tea." She corrected without allowing her fear show in her voice. She was not too sucessful.
"I don't know how you can you dislike what you've never tasted," The Joker said with a shrug as he poured some tea for himself. "But suit yourself."
"You…you didn't have to kill her." Vicky finally said after a long silence while looking at Mrs. Peddleton's body on the floor.
"Oh yes I had. She was quoted saying I should be euthanized."
"…and she was going to talk to me about you. Isn't that it? You couldn't allow her to tell me your secrets."
"Oh. No, no, no. You're getting this all wrong." Joker took a sip of the tea and licked his lips. "It was me who planned this meeting from the beginning. I knew that since you were doing a report on me, an interview with my former nurse was the perfect bait for my curious reporter."
"You mean to tell me you did all this just to get close enough to kill me?
The Jester sighed. "Here we go again...who said anything about killing you, Ms. Vale? I just wanted to have a friendly chat. That's all."
Vicky held the edge of the table with her hands and pushed herself back into the chair. She felt Lou's large figure behind her like a wall. Joker passed the tray with the cupcakes, but she refused.
"You sure you don't want any? They're low in fat …I baked them myself." Joker offered as Vicky just stared at him. The Jester shrugged smugly again. "Well, I just wanted to talk about a certain nocturnal beast."
"The Batman." She replied flatly. He put the tray beside him and started eating one of the cupcakes.
"Yes… I understand that you two are-how should I put this-very close." The Jester said taking a mouthful of cupcake and frosting. He cleaned his face with a napkin.
The statement surprised Vicky. She had indeed been very close to the Batman once. Not only that, but she had also been close to the man underneath the cowl. She had an admiration for the Dark Knight of Gotham, and that lead to an investigation that concluded with her finding out that millionaire Bruce Wayne and Batman were the same person. Did the Joker know this?
"No one is close to the Batman, Joker." She finally said as calmly as she could.
"Oh, but you have gotten some exclusive reports that I find difficult you will get, unless you two had an understanding." The Jester said running a hand through his hair taming his curls, then adjusted the cuffs of his shirt.
"I have an admiration for his work, if that's what you mean. But that's all."
"And would you mind explaining me why he cringes every time I mention your name and murder in the same sentence?"
So it was true. Joker had the Batman prisoner. She had hoped that the news were all false, part of a plan from Batman to bait an overconfident Clown, but the Jester spoke with authority. He spoke as if he had been there to see the Detective cringe with his own eyes, and there was no reason for the Joker to be lying.
"Don't know what you're talking about." She quickly lied.
Joker set his cup brusquely on the saucer and frowned at the reporter. "You lie to me once more, Ms. Vale and we'll find out in how many pieces we can cut a kid before I get to the sweet center. I don't like been taken for a fool…"
"I really don't know ..."
"Humbug. But if I can make a personal comment Vick, I don't blame you for falling in love with the man. He is a handsome piece of meat, isn't he? Now I need you to be a good girl and tell me how you got the attention of the most wanted Detective in Gotham. What did you do to trap him?" Joker said resting his head on his hand.
"You lost me…"
"Come on, Vick. It can't be just your looks. You're so….so….so plain." The reported looked at him resentfully. Then Clown went on. "It has to be something else. What does the Bat see in you?"
"If you are so curious to know, why don't you ask him personally?"
"Believe me, I have, but he refuses to tell me anything. Actually, he opts to ignore me completely. He doesn't' even want to eat for me." Joker let out sadly as a somber shadow envelope his otherwise smiling face. The Jester took another sip from his cup. "So well, what's your secret?"
YES, the Gazette was right. Joker had kidnapped Batman, Vicky just stared in awe at the Joker. She was in the verge of the most incredible news, as confessed by the madman who had subdued the Dark Knight, but somehow she found the facts terrifying. What did this mad had to do to defeat the greatest detective on Earth? And what could he do to her? Now if only she could decipher where this conversation was heading…
"No…I….er." She started to stutter.
"Come on, come on. Don't keep me in this suspense." Joker urged as he leaned over expectantly.
"The Batman," Vicky tried to inquire more on the subject. "Is he really your prisoner? Is he alive?"
"What is this, the Spanish Inquisition? I am the one asking the questions here and you were going to tell me how to snare the Bat's attention?"
"It's because no one has heard of the Batman and we were all wondering-"
"Didn't you get the memo I sent to Gotham Gazette? Maybe you should start reading the competition, dear. And just to clarify, he's not my prisoner but my guest. You press people are so quick to judge." Joker responded disdainfully.
Whatever Clown. Everybody knows you don't have guests but either prisoners or victims, Vicky thought to herself. But if you want to play this game…
"And the children are also your guests?"
"No, they are a pain in my ass. You know how much food a kid can consume in a day? I think it is cheaper to keep an elephant troop. Oh and all that whining…"
"What do you plan on doing with them?"
Joker remained silent for a moment and then started to drum his fingers at the edge of the table. Vicky realized she was pushing the subject.
"Is this your interview or mine?" Joker asked, and the reporter remained silent. "Thought so, now if you are so kind and get back to my previous question…how do I make the Bat pay attention to me."
"Believe me, Batman has all your attention. Especially when you start killing people."
"You mean I have the attention of his fists. He always ends up breaking something: a rib, a wrist, has even given me a concussion or two. I don't want to talk to him like that, I want to you know, have a normal conversation for once."
"Maybe if you'd just listen to him when he had warned you to surrender-"
"Is that what you do…listen? But he doesn't say much, does he?"
"If you stopped killing people and looked around you, you'd realize that there are a lot of people saying a lot of things to you."
"Most of them not very nice, I must admit." Joker said pointing at the nurse's body on the floor. Vale frowned.
"And what about the people that have begged you for their lives and you just…didn't listen?"
Joker ran a hand to his chest. "Am I…are you saying this is all my fault?"
"Why don't you ask him? He would speak more if he didn't find it hard to get into psychopaths' heads through oratory. Instead, he speaks in a language even YOU can understand."
Joker took offense on the comment and it showed as his visage darkened with a frown. "I don't like your tone, Vicky."
"And I don't like you. Guess that makes us even." There was a long moment of tense silence. Joker then took a long sip of tea and forced a smile that looked more like a grimace.
"You are a brave woman. Any other time, and this conversation would be over and I don't mean it kindly. Today you're lucky. I feel magnanimous so let's just make the best of it and I promise I'd be gone before you can say "Coooookie Crisps."
"Then tell me what it is you want with me."
"A word of advice from one Bat-fan to another. I want to speak with Batman but he doesn't talk back. How can I make him talk to me?"
"That is your problem, Joker. You want to force others to bend over for your demented whims and forget to just ask nicely."
"Ask nicely? I said please and he just ignored me."
"Maybe he has his own reasons to not talk to you. You usually would not listen anyway."
"I usually a very patient man, Ms. Vale, but your arrogant bravado is starting to bother me. Please don't force me to do something we're gonna both regret." Joker pulled the cuffs of his shirt and adjusted his red tie neatly around his neck. "You say I talk too much. Do I really?"
"Nonstop. Have you ever stopped and listen to yourself?"
"No. I just say what I need to say…." Joker made a pause to think and offered the plate with cupcakes to the reported that immediately refused it. "…and maybe some more. You know, you might be into something here."
Vickly sighed. "You think?"
"Yes, maybe I should watch what I say. Many times I get carried away by my own genius." Joker saw Vale pat herself on the head and shake it gently. "What?"
"I don't know….maybe." Vicky folded her arms around her, over her chest. "Joker…why are you asking me this…?
"Innocent curiosity." The Clown Prince said with a shrug. "So tell me, you think that he dislikes the fact that I talk too much?"
"If you would have been listening to this conversation I think we'd covered at least three reasons why he would not want to talk to you.'
Joker looked troubled. "Other…reasons?"
"You know, your disregard for human life, your egocentric view of the world, your demented idea that murder is fun, do I need to continue?"
"And if I was, hypothetically speaking…nothing like that, you think he would care to speak to me?"
"Well prob— You say what?"
What did THAT come from? The Joker was admitting that he was wrong in the way he behaved? That was a new one for the records, and why was he so persistent on the idea that he needed Batman to talk to him? This conversation was taking a weird tone. Everybody knew that Joker had fun teasing the Batman because he hated what the Batman was: Order. Something that had no space in Joker's world, but now it sounded like Joker had a physical need to have the Batman show his interest on him…why? Then the craziest thought came to the reporter's head: Did Joker saw the Batman as more than his adversary? Maybe like a game partner, a playmate or maybe like something else entirely?
And why all of a sudden this conversation was taking a sour taste?
"Hellooo," Joker said waving a gloved hand in front of an abstracted reporter. "Now who's not listening? That is very rude, you know?
"I…I am sorry I was just thinking."
"I hope you were because you still need to answer my question."
"Question?" she answered automatically, when she realized the Clown was expecting an answer to his strange question. "I suppose…so"
"But he fell for Garfield's girlfriend. And she's a criminal like me. If he abhors what we do, why would he-?"
"You're comparing yourself to Catwoman?"
"No, I'm trying to say that she behaves as bad as I do and still—"
"Joker, nobody behaves like you. You are out of your mind."
Joker rose angrily from his chair."I AM NOT THAT CRAZY, WHAT I NEED TO KNOW IS WHAT THE BATMAN CAN SEE IN A WOMAN LIKE YOU OR THE CAT, WHILE I TRY EVERYTHING I CAN IMAGINE AND THE BAT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK IN MY DIRECTION. IT'S LIKE…LIKE I DON'T EXIST FOR HIM. I FEEL LIKE A GHOST AND IT'S NOT NICE TO FEEL THAT WAY" Joker made a pause to get some air in the middle of his screaming. "YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING, EAT SOMETHING, WEAR SOMETHING OR SECRETE SOMETHING THAT GETS THE BATMAN ALL ROWDY ON YOUR CASE…AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!"
Vicky remained silent looking at the raging clown. Was he trying to say that he had feelings for the Batman and that the Detective's total lack of interest in these feelings was bothering him? What was going on in here? Was the Joker jealous? Was this the reason why he had kidnapped the Batman, to have him close to him, even if it was unwillingly? And what about the children…what part do the Kiwanis play in all that?
"Are you listening to yourself? That is the craziest thing I've heard you ever say."
"And maybe I should show you what's the craziest thing I can do as well, shouldn't I?" Joker's smile disappeared as he frowned.
"Go ahead. That's what you do, isn't it?"
Joker was taken aback by the answer. This was not what he was expecting. He tried to find a reprise when he pushed himself against the chair.
"This conversation is over. This was a waste of time. You disappointed me Vicky."
"And you disappoint me as well. For a brief moment I thought I saw something more in you than the demented psychopath you are, but it's obvious I was mistaken. Now you are going to do what you do best and take your anger and your frustration onto another innocent victim while you imagine it's funny. Why don't you finish what you started? Give Batman one more reason to hate you." Vale pointed at the nurse's body on the floor.
"Hate me? He hates me?" The Clown laughter, but this time his laughter was different…nervous and forced. " No…he doesn't…does he?"
"What is so funny?"
Joker's laughter subsided slowly. "He doesn't hate me. Actually he needs me. I give meaning to his crime fighting persona."
"You are really crazy, unfortunately beyond help. What makes you think that?"
"He...he made me. Isn't that obvious?" Joker said plainly. The look in Vicky's eyes pierced though him like a hot knife and for the first time, he felt vulnerable. He didn't like feeling this way so it was time to leave. He stood and turn to pick the jacket from the back of the chair. He dusted the shoulders and started silently towards out of the kitchen when he heard Vicky calling at him.
"Joker…do you have feelings for the Batman?" She finally asked after she saw the terrified look in the Joker's eyes.
He just stared back at her. He felt naked; showing off his most private parts to Vicky Vale. After this all of Gotham will know, he thought. He was going to be in the news. He could see the headlines in his mind…this was getting off hand.
"I have…an admiration for the man just like you." Joker said simply. Not a hint of emotion in his inflection that indicated shame or concern. "He is quite the man…you know?"
The Jester turned to look at the reporter with his carved smile widening perversely. "You on the other hand, Ms. Vale…I don't know how I feel about you. You've been saying things about me behind my back. Nasty things." The Clown Prince giggled. "Naughty, naughty, naughty. Maybe it's time I teach you a lesson on respect…what you think, Vicky?"
"I am not afraid to die, Joker." Vale said defiantly.
"I know that, and dying is not what I had in mind." Joker rested his head on his hand and giggled. "I was thinking of something much more fun. A makeover. Those are popular in TV these days you know."
"What are you talking about?"
"Yeah…I can work wonders in that department." The Jester said absentmindedly. "Allow me to illustrate."