Chapter eleven: If only you knew
Severus Snape sat in the Slytherin Common Room, finishing his potions homework with ease. There were few left in the room when a group of Slytherins entered the doorway. There were 7 boys who entered and Snape recognized them all immediately – leading the group was Regulus Black and Lucius Malfoy, followed by Rodolphus Lestrange and Yaxley, and then coming up the back were Antonin Dolohov, Evan Rosier and that Avery boy, all of them chatting quietly. Many of the Slytherins fled when they entered, giving them the couches all to themselves. Most of the Slytherins were scared of them, and rightfully so – they called themselves the Death Eaters and were the most popular and intimidating Slytherins in the school. Severus thought it was an extremely daft name for their little gang, and found them to be quite pretentious.
Considering the other Slytherins fled that left him alone with the 7 boys, who didn't care enough to notice him. As they talked, Severus unconsciously listened in like he usually did when people were around.
"We have new information that we must discuss," Regulus called order to the group. Everyone went quiet and turned to look at him. Severus listened closely, shrouded in the darkness in the corner of the common room. He spoke again when everything was silent.
"As you know, the first Quidditch match of the season was postponed to later this month because they had to plant a dangerous tree on the grounds called the Whomping Willow. I don't know why they did that, but that doesn't matter – I have come across new information that you might all be interested in hearing."
"Does it involve Quidditch, Regulus?" Evan Rosier asked.
"Partially. It's part of the plan. Now, as you all know, my family is in possession of a locket which has been in the Black heritage for many years. However, I have just come across an interesting fact – apparently, the reason my family has it is because my mother had to hide it from Lord Voldemort."
Severus immediately jerked into a more attentive sitting position, his head snapping up as the group murmured in shock.
"Yes, I know, I know, settle down," Regulus instructed stiffly. Everyone quieted again. "According to Fenrir Greyback, the Dark Lord wants this locket desperately and he has asked us to get it for him. At the present time, my brother Sirius has the locket. This year, it was his turn to protect it. Each year, we switch off the locket and the two of us share the burden of protecting it. I have thought of asking him for the locket but my mother told us both that no matter what anyone says we must protect the locket for the entire year and make sure nobody takes it, not even someone else in our family, thus Sirius would not allow me to take it.
"However, I have devised a plan that will work in both our and Greyback's favour. Greyback wants one thing in return for the information about the locket: Remus Lupin. I assume you all know who he is." Regulus said.
There was more murmurs of agreement. Severus immediately saw Remus' face in his mind's eye.
"Well, Greyback wants him – he wouldn't tell me his reasons, but I can only imagine what he'd want him for, he is a talented wizard" Regulus admitted grudgingly, "However, we will not be able to get Remus to come with us willingly."
"Well, then, why not use force?" roared Dolohov from the couches. Some of the other Slytherins shouted in agreement.
"Because if we do that, we'll be expelled, you sodding bleeders!" Rodolphus yelled harshly over them. The shouting died down again.
"We have a plan set out," explained Regulus. "It is our job to make sure that plan goes through so that the Dark Lord gets what he wants, Greyback gets what he wants, we get in their good books and we don't get found out for it."
"This is where the Quidditch team comes in;" Lucius Malfoy cut in. "Regulus has made it so every one of you has a position on the Slytherin Quidditch team."
There were excited mutters from everyone in the room.
"Since the first match is against Gryffindor, and James Potter is their Captain, we'll have to make sure he gets a message. We'll injure one of his players so bad that he'll have to play one player short for the rest of the year until he finds a new one. But, during one of the next Quidditch games against Gryffindor, we need to hurt Potter enough that he's taken into the Hospital Wing. Then, the real plan begins."
Before any of them could speak, someone else entered the Common Room. Bellatrix and Narsissa Black strutted in, Bella looking mischievous as usual and Narsissa looking quite taken by Lucius' smile. Bellatrix went and sat on Rodolphus' lap while Narsissa went and took Lucius' hand.
"Any news, Bellatrix?" Regulus asked, looking at her as she gave Rodolphus a very passionate kiss before answering.
"We finally caught our sister in the act," chipped Bella, grinning around at all of them. Narsissa looked down at her and Lucius' conjoined hands and avoided eye contact. "Cissy contacted mummy and daddy and told them that Andromeda was being a bad little girl. We caught her with Ted Tonks."
The group in the room burst out laughing, gawfing at the very idea of any Pure Blood dating a Muggle-Born, let alone Ted Tonks. Bellatrix cackled with them until Regulus silenced them once again with a wave of his long hand.
"Did they respond?" Regulus asked, turning his attention to Narsissa. Narsissa quietly cleared her throat.
"Yes, they responded to Yaxley and I," She said. Yaxley looked very proud at whatever the plan consisted of. "Everything is in order – all that's left is waiting for her to get the letter. I'll know when she does and keep you updated." Narsissa continued. Regulus gave her a slight nod of thanks and turned back to the others.
"You see, by upsetting Andromeda, we'll upset Sirius Black."
Bellatrix and a few others snarled in disgust, muttering words like 'Blood-Traitor' and 'Gryffindor scum.'
"The main course of action that we must take is to uproot that little group of friends; for if one falls, the others will fall with them," Regulus told everyone. He looked around at them all seriously. "My friends, if we do this properly and this plan is followed precisely we will succeed and we will all get what we want. Everyone has to focus and make sure that no one shall know of this plan. Does everyone understand?"
Everyone in that room, except Severus, nodded. Regulus shook each of their hands before they all departed out of the Common Room, leaving Severus alone, still unseen in the darkness.
Everybody knew how much Severus hated James and his gang. They'd been bullying him since their First Year at Hogwarts. Severus, therefore, saw no reason to warn James and his gang about the Death Eater's plans. However, Severus knew that Lily was often harassed by Potter and his friends and he wanted to make sure that she was safe. If she was hurt because he withheld information from her, he'd never forgive himself.
Severus got up from his chair and left the Common Room. He began traveling to his and Lily's special spot. They met there every night at 6:00. He wandered just outside of school property and saw their tree, which was huge. It was planted right across from the monstrous Whomping Willow tree, which was completely still for the moment. Severus gave it a look before he wandered over to his tree, ducking under the hanging branches which completely shielded him from view. He saw Lily there, her Herbology textbook open and a tiny potted Tentacular plant in front of her. The vines wriggled around eerily, the pods making snapping noises as they did so. Lily had a deep look of concentration on her face as she read the textbook. She sighed in exasperation as she tried to pour a gold-colored solution onto the plant. The vines whipped around even faster and one cut her on the cheek. She leaned away from the plant, glaring at it harshly.
"Bloody useless thing," she muttered under her breath as she held her bleeding cheek. "How am I supposed to raise the thing if I can't even feed it?"
Severus immediately went over and sat by her side and took out his wand. He gently took her hand off her cheek and rested the tip of his wand on the cut.
"Valnerum Sanentu." Severus said quietly. The cut immediately healed up, new skin forming over the injury, making it seem like it was never there in the first place. When Severus pulled his wand away, Lily gently touched her newly mended cheek with a smile on her face.
"Thank you, Severus." Lily said. Severus gave her a small-mouthed smile.
"My pleasure. You know, Tentacular plants hate that stuff." He gestured to the vial of golden liquid, which was Buddlejuice.
"But Professor Sprout said-,"
"I know what she says, but it's wrong," Severus said easily. He took out a tiny bottle of Lacewing flies from his cloak and uncorked it. He fed each flailing pod a fly and the entire plant seemed to calm down immediately, shivering with comfort and then wriggling into the pot, disappearing beneath the soil. Lily watched in amazement and Severus grinned, handing her over the bottle. "Feed it twice a day and it should grow as big as this tree." Severus said, looking up at the dangling branches of the tree above them.
Lily stowed the Lacewing flies away in her Herbology trunk, which was about the size of a small toaster, still looking gobsmacked.
"Lacewing flies. Only you would have thought of that, Severus." Lily said fondly, smiling as she latched the trunk shut, putting the Tentacular pot on top of it and then leaning against the tree. "Who knew being a potions genius would pay off in Herbology?"
Severus's pale, taunt cheeks went red.
"I'm not a genius," Severus muttered. "I'm just-,"
"The best in our potions class." Lily cut in. Severus gave her a look.
"Actually, I'm second best. That freak beat me in our last exam. She got perfect and I got off by half a mark." Severus said with an almost embarrassed tone. Lily knew he was talking about Ziva – nobody else could be 'that freak.' She'd been hearing that nickname more now than ever.
"Severus," she reprimanded him, giving him a look. Severus sighed.
"C'mon, Lily, you know she's not normal. She's a prodigy in every way possible! No one should be that smart." Severus said, looking distracted. Lily gave him a look.
"What do you have against Ziva?" Lily asked him.
"Ziva?"
"Yeah, that's her name," Lily said. "Did she do anything to you?"
"Other than steal my potions title? No, she did nothing. She just…she creeps me out." Severus said quietly.
"How? She is the least creepy person I know." Lily said indignantly.
"It's her eyes," Severus explained, picturing her light blue eyes. "It's like she knows what I'm thinking. It's not normal."
"Oh, please," Lily shouted, laughing. "That's ridiculous. I think you're paranoid."
"I am not."
"I think so." Lily said smugly. Severus felt frustrated, but he saw she was just pushing his buttons, so he sighed in surrender.
"So, is that plant your mid-term experiment or something?" Severus asked, pointing to the Tentacular pot again.
Lily nodded.
"Kind of. It's the last assignment for 'Potted plants and potions.' Apparently the content of a Tentacular plant helps a lot in certain potions." Lily said knowingly.
"Of course. You can't make a Limb-linking potion without them. Plus, I heard their leaves are very valuable too. I'm surprised Professor Sprout hasn't been selling them in Diagon Alley." Severus said, looking at the pot.
"Well, I doubt she has a bad bone in her body." Lily said.
"You assume way too much of people, Lily." Severus told her, crossing his legs. Lily shot him a look.
"That's not a bad thing."
"It is when you're let down after people show their real colors. People are never what they seem to be. Sometimes the façade is the less dangerous part of a person."
Lily looked at Severus' pale face curiously.
"We aren't talking about Professor Sprout anymore, are we?" Lily said timidly. Severus avoided eye contact.
"Look, I just don't want you to get hurt." He mumbled to her, twisting his long hands nervously.
Lily smiled, leaned forward and kissed Severus' bony cheek. Severus felt his entire body tingle with warmth at the touch of her lips against his skin.
"You're very kind, Severus, and I know you worry all too much about me, but I can take care of myself too. I'm not a China Doll, you know." Lily smiled. Severus gave a timid smile back, the spot where she kissed him very hot.
"I know. It's just, Potter worries me. You shouldn't hang around him." Severus said, his tone turning slightly sour. Lily's face changed again – her smile faded into a look of understanding.
"I don't hang around James Potter, Severus. I avoid him at all cost." Lily said.
"Well he fancies you." Severus blurted before he could stop himself. Lily's face flinched at the word 'fancies', as if hearing it from him made it real.
"Severus-," Lily tried.
"And we all know that James Potter always gets what he wants," Severus mumbled, his voice harsh with anger. "No matter what, he always gets what he wants, and it's not fair, because he's a spoilt piece of sh-,"
"Severus!" Lily took one of his hands to provide emphasis to her words. "Look at me."
He obeyed hesitantly, his black eyes staring into her green eyes. She looked so utterly serious and sincere.
"You're talking about me like I'm an inanimate object that can't fend for itself. Severus, he might want me, but he will never have me. I am one thing he can't win. I'm not a Quidditch Trophy."
"Well, he treats you like one." Severus objected, looking at her.
"I know, Severus, I know. Just please trust me that I will never give into him. He thinks he can charm any girl, but he can't charm me."
"You say that now."
"And I'll continue saying it," Lily told him. "Just you wait and see, Severus. I'm stronger than you think I am. I'll never let him win me over."
Severus gave her a look, his black eyebrow raised.
"…Do you promise?" Severus asked.
"I promise." Lily said earnestly, her eyes on his.
Severus looked for any trace of a lie on her face.
"Do you promise enough to make an Unbreakable Vow?" Severus asked her. Lily blinked in a confused sort of way.
"You should trust me enough to not need to make an Unbreakable Vow." Said Lily.
"Well, it couldn't hurt, could it?" Severus asked. Lily shrugged, making Severus' gut fall a little in his body.
"I just don't think it's necessary, that's all. Besides, Shakespeare once wrote 'Do not make vows, for vows are for a cowardly tongue."
Severus thought about that and nodded.
"Very well," Severus agreed. "Thank you for promising anyway."
Lily gave him a smile and then got up, checking her watch.
"I should go inside and finish my homework. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Severus," Lily leaned down and kissed his cheek once more. "And thank you for caring, Severus. You're like the big brother I never had." Lily beamed down at him and then walked back towards the castle.
Severus watched her walk away with a smile, but it faded when she was out of view. Her last words hung in his head.
Thank you for caring, Severus. You're like the brother I never had.
If only you knew, Severus thought. For only he knew, in the deepest, darkest part of himself, that he loved Lily Evans, and he knew that love would never go away. He wanted to be more than a brother to her. He wanted to love her in ways that no person could ever love her. She made him better and, to be perfectly honest, he made her better too. Severus wanted to tell her so badly, but he was afraid of rejection and her last words to him made telling her that much more difficult.
You're like the brother I never had.
You're like a brother.
If only you knew, Severus thought as the sun set behind Hogwarts. If only you knew.