A/N: As before - I don't go into the action that we saw in the actual episode, for example I skip right over the part where Harm goes out and finds the evidence that clears his name because of course that was already on screen. Hopefully it will be obvious where that and other parts fit into this story. Thanks for reading!

21 FEBUARY 2005
1420 ZULU
USS JOHN F KENNEDY
PERSIAN GULF

He'd known it was coming, but it still made him seethe. He didn't trust himself to move more than simply crossing his arms to hide his clenched fists. "I'm not" he fumed quietly.

"Harm it's pretty obvious from the tone of your emails…"

Harm swung his legs over the side of the bunk and glared into his eyes. "It's not obvious, because there's nothing going on!"

"How stupid do you think I am?"

"Don't ask a loaded question, Turner. Especially one you don't want to know the answer to."

Sturgis took a deep breath to control his anger. "Listen. It would be much better if you just came out and admitted to it. This is serious, Harm. Your jealousy goes to state of mind while you were flying! Not to mention any case where you and Mac have opposed each other since this has been going on will be brought into question as a possible conflict of interest. Creswell will have a fit! Do you know how many people are going to be clamoring for mistrials once this gets out? If you try and cover up the indiscretion now, it's only going to make matters worse. At least coming clean will look better in front of an Ethics Board."

Harm wanted to pace but he didn't trust himself to stand up off of the bunk. His head was pounding with fear and anger. "There is nothing for me to admit, because there is no indiscretion." He stared Sturgis down with the best persuasive glare he could muster.

Turner knew his former Academy schoolmate was a hot-head and an ass, but he'd never known him to outright lie – especially as he stared a man in the face. He leaned back and shook his head. "Well, it doesn't matter what I think anyway. You are clearly agitated by one of her emails right before the incident. I have to include it as part of my report."

"I was joking, Sturgis. See, Mac has what's called a 'sense of humor'. I know it's not something you're familiar with but..."

"Do you really want to make an enemy out of my right now?"

Harm bit his tongue from what he really wanted to say and forged ahead. "And it wasn't 'right before' the incident. I made eight traps and nine catapults before I was dispatched on that call. Even if I had harbored any anger at take-off, I guarantee you it was jarred out of me by that time!"

"Harm, it's valid evidence going to your state of mind. I have to take it into consideration."

"Please don't." He dropped his head in his hands in frustration. "Do you want me to beg? Is that what you want?" Harm felt like he had finally reached the end of his rope and his entire world was crashing in on him.

"I want you to tell me what's really going on!"

"I told you!" He stood up and crossed the room. "There's nothing going on with Mac and I. There has never been anything going on! I'm not particularly proud of that, but it's true."

Sturgis waved the printed email in the air in front of him. "These aren't the words of a man who is not involved. If she's not your girlfriend, then what exactly is she to you?"

"She's…" Harm paced the small room and rubbed the back of his neck, "… she's just… personal, okay!"

Sturgis looked completely perplexed. "Personal? What the hell does that mean?"

Harm sighed. "Sturgis, we've known each other for 9 years. We've been through more together than most married couples have in a lifetime. I won't tell you I haven't been attracted to her, and it's obvious from the emails that I would like there to be more between us, but there isn't okay?!"

"I don't understand, if you both want a relationship, why aren't you in one? I mean there are lots of billets in Washington other than HQ. Were you both so stuck in your careers that you weren't willing to bend a little?"

Harm looked at him with heavy sarcasm. "Who says she wants a relationship with me?"

"Awww c'mon Harm, I happen to know…" He cut himself off before he went any further.

Harm fixed him with a glare, "What do you know?"

"Nothing, just the way she looks at you… it's pretty obvious…" Sturgis was tempted, but thought better of betraying Mac. He'd held her stupid little secret for this long, he was damned if he'd let it go now. He stood up from the table and did some pacing of his own, finally halting in front of the door. "I'm going to do you one favor, Rabb – but you can consider it your last."

Harm swallowed, hoping with all his might that his old friend would come through.

"I'm not going to put the emails into my report… but I won't make the same promise about an Article 32. If it comes to that, those emails will definitely be brought forward as evidence."

"And when can I expect your report?"

"Within the hour." Sturgis turned to leave. "Oh, and Harm? I will be recommending an Article 32 on the grounds of Negligent Homicide."

Harm's head collapsed into his hands the minute Sturgis exited the cabin. Seconds later he stumbled to the bed and collapsed, rolling onto his back and covering his face with his hands. His career, his pride, his Mac… all gone. He was as good as sunk career wise and he knew that Mac would never forgive him dragging her down as well. It was all so unfair. All this time, going by the rules… all those nights he could have loved her… woken up with her in his arms. How many babies could they have had by now? All that needless, wasted restraint and they were going to get nailed for it anyway! All over a stupid 'appearance of impropriety' – what the hell was that anyway? How are you supposed to defend yourself against they way something 'appears'!?
He was so angry he thought his head would explode. All he had ever wanted to do was to fly for the Navy, to serve his country with honor, and now that very thing had destroyed him. For the first time in his life he questioned his job as a lawyer. How many times had clients told him that rules and regulations had prevented them from doing their job properly? How many careers had he helped destroy over spur of the minute decisions that snowballed into catastrophes? Now it was his turn. He had destroyed himself, he had brought down Mac with him and he would never, ever forgive himself for it. He turned towards the wall and tried with all his might to will himself into a vegetative state.

40 minutes later he awoke with a start. He'd heard her voice. As clear as a bell, whispered directly in his right ear - just one word "Harm!" It wasn't accusing, or alarmed… it was simply… urgent. Like she was telling him something had to be done. He didn't question the voice. He knew without a doubt it had been Mac's. He also knew enough not to question whatever connection they had that allowed these kinds of things to keep happening between them. At that exact moment, an incoming email chimed from his hibernating laptop. As it was still sharing the bed with him from earlier, he whipped it open and logged on.

Re:Re: … into the fire.

LCol MacKenzie Sent: Mon 21/02/2005 11:03 AM

To: Cdr Rabb

Jesus, Harm. Creswell just briefed me on Sturgis's report. Don't worry – it's only an Article 32. I've requested that I be made defense counsel on the case. He said he'd think about it. Don't worry, if he says 'no' I can just quit and you can hire me as civilian attorney again. ;0) I'll get back to you as soon as I know anything. Hang tough, Harm – you know I've got your back. I always will.

S.

Immediately he knew exactly what he had to do. He had to read that damn report and then he had to figure out a way to stop this from going to an Article 32. He couldn't let this happen to Mac and he'd be damned if he'd let that self-righteous preacher's kid steal his life away from him. With new found enthusiasm, he splashed water on his face and went in search of Turner.

22 FEBRUARY 2005
0920 ZULU
USS JOHN F KENNEDY
PERSIAN GULF

Harm was just finishing his coffee in the ward room when Sturgis dropped the report in front of him. "What's this?"

Turner grabbed an empty coffee cup and poured from the urn. "Amended Recommendation."

Harm flipped to the final page of the report and read the last paragraph aloud. "Due to Rules of Engagement which permit firing without authorization if a credible threat is perceived on the lives of Americans or Allied Military personnel, this report finds insufficient evidence of Negligence to recommend an Article 32 hearing." Harm closed the folio and looked up. "So why is it Negligent Homicide when there's an Iraqi Official on board, and suddenly within the ROE's when it turns out there wasn't?"

"Don't you ever say 'thank you'?"

"Thank you." Harm fired back icily and turned to exit the ward room.

"Piece of advice?"

Harm stopped at the door but didn't turn around. "What?"

"A good career is one thing, but you just saw how easily it could all amount to a hill of beans. Love is something that can get you through life a happy man. I suggest you seriously consider which one is more important."

24 FEBRUARY 2005
1122 ZULU
NAPLES ITALY

Strolling along the ancient cobblestone street, Harm silently cursed being at the mercy of Navy transport. Here he was in such a beautiful city and all he wanted to do was go home to Mac – assuming that she was even there of course. Instead, the Navy had rerouted him through Naples and he had a lay over for an extra day. Even after the extra time he had spent aboard the JFK finishing his traps, he had been unable to sleep well last night and had risen early, walking down to the harbor and watching the sun rise from the Castel dell'Ovo. He was shaken over the events of the last few days – over how close he had come to losing every single thing he had ever held dear – and if he was honest with himself, he would have to say he was finding it hard to deal with. To make matters worse, Sturgis's last words echoed over and over in his head. He didn't think he'd ever forgive the man for not doing more to stand up for him, but he had to admit – he'd nailed it right on when it came to love. Harm wanted desperately to be a happy man again. He was so damn tired of being sad all the time. Didn't he and Mac both deserve a little happiness? Why the hell was this all so difficult?

He headed back and wandered aimlessly through the Spaccanapoli district, stopping at a small café for a jolt of espresso. The whole time he felt… strange. Like he was outside of his body looking down on himself. At the same time, he also felt charged – like there were tiny vibrations going through every fibre of his being. Like his whole body felt the anticipation of some life altering event that was just on the horizon. Most of all, he couldn't stop thinking of Mac.

As he rounded the last corner, he spied the window display of a small jewelry shop and an idea struck. A tiny bell announcing his arrival, he entered and hesitantly made his way to the counter. As he approached, a beautiful woman in her early fifties stood from arranging the display in the lower counter case.

"Buona mattina, signore."

Harm smiled shyly. "Buona mattina. Parla inglese?"

"Si – yes. How can I help you?"

"I, uh…" Harm eyed the assortment of jewelry in front of him. "… think I'd like to buy something… for a lady... friend." He had to cross his arms in front of himself out of a nervous feeling of not knowing what to do with his hands. Why did this suddenly seem so difficult?

The lady behind the counter smiled graciously. "Of course. Do you know what you would like?"

"Uh…" Harm's ears started to burn as it suddenly became clear to him that he had never bought jewelry for a woman before and he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He immediately felt like a total schmuck. What kind of 41 year old man has never bought jewelry for a woman? "…no actually…" he laughed nervously, "I'm afraid I've never really done this before."

The jeweler nodded. "Ah yes, I understand."

Harm didn't know whether to be relieved or insulted by her knowing smile. "You do?"

"Si" She replied confidently, but with a hint of a smirk, "I understand that a man who looks like you would not need to buy a woman jewelry."

Even though he had a feeling that was supposed to be a compliment, his ears burned an even brighter red and he felt more like a schmuck than he had a minute ago.

The lady smiled and decided to take pity on the poor, awkward American. "Well, I will help you. How do you feel about her?"

"How do I feel about her?" Harm's mouth suddenly went dry. How did such a harmless idea turn into one of his worst nightmares? This was more uncomfortable than being blind sided by Mattie.

"Yes? What are your intentions with her?"

"My intentions? I… uh…" Harm unfolded his arms nervously and rubbed his forehead, "… well… I want to marry her." He shocked himself with how easily that had come out of his mouth.

"Ah… then perhaps a ring?" She drew her hand across a display of beautiful diamond engagement rings.

Harms heart almost jumped out of his chest and he laughed. "I… uh… don't think we're quite ready for that yet." Then he reconsidered. "Or rather, I don't think she's quite ready for that yet."

The jeweler looked genuinely surprised. "I find it hard to believe that any girl would not be ready for a ring."

Harm laughed. "Well, you don't know this girl."

"Okay… I find it hard to believe that any girl would not be ready for a ring from a man like you."

"Ha…" Harm liked this woman's spunk, "… then you obviously don't know me."

The woman laughed with him graciously.

"Besides…" he continued, "… I guess I always figured I would give her my mother's ring." Once again his words astounded him. Had he really always thought that?

"Oh, so you have dated a long time then?"

"No… we, uh… actually haven't dated at all…" He knew this was going to sound bad. At the confused response of the woman in front of him, he continued his explanation. "We've been… colleagues for a long time. We've been through a lot together."

"I see. And you want it to be more?"

"Oh yeah."

"And how does she feel?"

Harm shook his head and took a deep breath. Who knew that buying a simple piece of jewelry could make you break out in a sweat? No wonder he'd never done it before. "Well, I think she feels the same. I just have to convince her to take a chance on a screw-up like me."

The jeweler sighed, she thoroughly enjoyed the candor of this American. Such a shame that he was so obviously in love with someone else – she'd been feeling lonely since her Antonio passed away. Smiling genuinely she led Harm over to a row of display cases by the wall. "I think I have just the thing. A nice necklace perhaps?"

Harm quietly regarded the collection of gold and silver chains – there were so many of them and he had no idea what he was looking for. He was about to give up in frustration when something caught his eye. "Could I look at that one more closely?"

"You have excellent taste, signore." She retrieved the necklace and placed it carefully on a purple cloth on the counter. "This is a 14K Bola Two-Tone V Necklace - 4.2 mm. It's very beautiful."

Harm ran his finger gently over the flat chain. "It sure is." Suddenly he knew he had to have it. He didn't even flinch when he converted the cost to over $700 US dollars. He was amazed - years ago it had almost killed him to fork out 60 bucks on a bouquet of roses for Renée when he was in the dog house - but now, for Mac, he felt like any amount wasn't enough. "I think I'll take it."

"May I ask why you picked this one?" She smiled as she carefully prepared the necklace for packaging. "Does it have a particular significance?"

"No." Harm shrugged with a shy smile. "I could just picture it around her neck." He wisely edited out the 'and it totally turned me on' part. He was a man after all, but he wasn't entirely a stupid man.

TBC