I can't even begin to apologize enough for how long this has taken me.
The most frustrating part is that I've known exactly how I wanted to end this from the beginning. I always knew it would be this song and in this way. But I couldn't get it on paper and I didn't want anything but the perfect ending for two very long-suffering characters and even more patient readers.
I want to thank everyone who loved this story because I've struggled with this fic incredibly. I re-read it today and found my muse again, shaking her fist at me for taking so long to finish. I hope some of you are still interested because this is it. I've got an idea for an epilogue but as my author's note clearly explains, I'm not so great at updating this one. So without further ado, this is it. Enjoy!
Rachel sat on the stool in the booth and read the sheet music in her hands. She nibbled her bottom lip as she noted the changes that had been made to her song. She'd been a little offended when Blaine had first called, that another songwriter had decided to make changes to a song that was so deeply personal to her stung profoundly. As she mouthed the new words she realised that whoever the songwriter was, they'd managed to capture the tone of her song and improve the heart of it.
"What do you think?" Blaine wondered quietly, shifting back and forth with unexplained nervous energy.
"I think," Rachel smiled at him. "I think that the new version is lovely. It's a duet I suppose?"
She couldn't help the edge of worry that crept into her tone as she posed the question. She couldn't imagine singing this song with anyone but him, the one she'd written it for.
Blaine scratched his head and looked at the plexiglass that separated the sound technicians before answering her. "Yeah, but for right now why don't you sing the parts that are yours? We'll have a musician record the other parts. We'll see how you like it and take it from there?"
He stepped from the room before she could respond and the door snapped shut behind him. She settled herself more comfortably on the stool and nodded to the waiting sound technician through the glass. The music started and she began to sing the new words. She had finished the original in just one take, the emotion too raw to be repeated, but this time she felt the need to try it a few times. She made it through the first verse and chorus a few times before feeling confident enough to have them start recording. She stood up and stretched her neck, shaking out all of the tension that usually accompanied this song. Her hands gripped the paper tightly before her whole body relaxed into the familiar song. She was pleased that they were using her original backtrack. She wasn't sure she wanted many witnesses for this again. She took a deep breath and began to sing the new lyrics for the soundtrack of her heart.
The day we met,
Frozen I held my breath
Right from the start
I knew that I'd found a home for my heart...
... beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
Bravery was something that she'd lacked in high school. At least in the things that mattered the most. If she'd been braver she'd have chosen Noah.
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
Her eyes closed as she began to sing her own lyrics. Tears gathered as they always did as she hit the chorus. She hoped one day that he'd hear them and know that they were for him; her words, her heart were his.
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
She couldn't remember a time when he wasn't everything to her. The hurt between them seemed to have begun an eternity ago and all she could remember now was loving him. If only he'd give her the chance she'd give it all up. All of it, her success and her fame for him. There would never be another Noah Puckerman and the idea that she'd thought Finn Hudson would suffice was silly and only proved how little she'd known at 18. She wanted that all-consuming love that she'd described to Blaine all those years ago. And only Noah could love her like that. She could almost feel him today as she sang the words.
I'll love you for a thousand more
She hummed softly as she waited to begin the second verse. Her mouth opened in surprise when another, very familiar voice took the second verse for her. Her heart clenched as her ears deceived her.
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
Because there was no way that he was there, that he was singing her words. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she fought to keep her eyes closed. She wouldn't be able to handle waking up from this dream. A warm hand covered hers and the familiarity shocked her into opening her eyes.
I will be brave
Warm, hazel eyes met hers from where he stood next to her. Her sight blurred as tears filled her eyes.
I will not let anything take away
She blinked furiously, willing the tears to clear her vision. A squeeze of her hand elicited a tiny sob from the back of her throat.
What's standing in front of me
He was really there. Singing her song, to her. His beautiful lips were tilted in a smile that wrinkled the skin around his eyes. She sucked in another long breath as she hungrily memorized his face. It had been so long since she'd really seen him.
Every breath
She stepped hesitantly closer to him as he continued to sing to her, serenading her with the words that came from the very heart and soul of her being.
Every hour has come to this
He raised an eyebrow and gestured towards her music with his free hand. She took another deep breath and joined him.
One step closer
Her eyes snapped shut in bliss as their voices blended together. There was a beauty to their voices that she'd never experienced with anyone else. For a moment she was standing in the choir room singing "Need you now" once again. She inhaled deeply and her eyes popped open as his familiar scent hit her nose.
I have died everyday waiting for you
A smile broke across her face as he turned his body into her and raised a hand to cup her cheek. As he sang the next words, she believed him with her whole heart.
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
She turned into his palm with closed eyes and sang their song, for it was no longer just her own. It never had been really just hers. It was all for him.
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
Her mind flashed over every moment they'd spent together and apart in the last several years. She remembered every night that he'd watched her perform and that one earth-shattering moment when she'd finally found him in the crowd. She had been so afraid she'd never see him again after that.
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more...
He was here, standing here. He was done running, done healing. He hadn't simply heard her song, he'd made it theirs.
I'll love you for a thousand more...
One step closer
He dropped her hand only to pull her closer to him as she began the last verse alone. Her voice was quiet as she serenaded him. His arms circled her waist and her own hand raised to cup his scruffy cheek.
I have died everyday waiting for you
Tears streamed down their cheeks and she knew that if she looked at the sound booth she'd see Blaine in tears as well. Blaine the friend that she'd never deserved, the one who'd taken care of Noah in all the years since they'd last seen each other.
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
The pain that all of them had faced in the past years had led them here, to this moment.
I'll love you for a thousand more
And as he joined her for the last verse she knew she wouldn't change a moment of it.
And all along I believed I would find you
Rachel still occasionally woke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat as memories and guilt washed over her. The way she'd treated Noah was inexcusable but she'd been a child then and in no way worthy of the man he was. She had realized long ago that she needed to forgive herself if she wanted to become the woman he'd always believed she could be.
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
The love shining down at her from those beautiful hazel eyes made her knees shake. No one could ever love her the way Noah had always wanted to.
I'll love you for a thousand more
And as the music trailed away and his lips covered her own, she realized that there was no one on earth who could love Noah Puckerman more than she did in that moment.
I'll love you for a thousand more.
Thanks for reading friends. Let me know what you thought/if you'd like an epilogue.