Chapter 12

Julia was nursing a bad cold while waiting for Kenneth to come back from surgery. She saw Barnabas appear in front of her, but was feeling too run down to greet him in a more enthusiastic manner than by lifting her eyebrows and grimacing.

"What's new with you?" she asked a bit surly "And before you say anything, what about making me a hot tea? Herb tea. It unclogs my sinuses beautifully, and I am a much better hostess when my sinuses are unclogged.

Barnabas went into the lunch room and prepared the brew "Wouldn't you rather have coffee?" he asked, facetiously.

"I am not that far gone, yet."

A few seconds later Julia was holding the steaming cup in her hand, and was sipping from it.

"This is good." she commented "I may have to increase your salary."

"I will rather taken it in professional services. Julia, I do have a problem."

"And you want my professional opinion?"

"Yes."

"So Bloody Fool Skinner is not good enough after all."

"I never said that he had all the answers. Only that he got results."

"What kind of analysis do you want? Freudian or Jungian?"

"Just your kind. It works best on me."

"All right, start talking."

"Well..." Barnabas fidgeted. He hated to admit it, but there were times when Julia could make him feel like a six-year old. "It has to do with Zeb."

He explained it to her, how he had invited Zeb and Jessica to the party, what had happened then, and Zeb's reaction a couple of days later.

"He has a point." Julia said. "You are the proverbial fool that rushes where angels fear to tread."

"Was I wrong in inviting them over?"

"It was too soon. We do have to normalize our relationship with them, true, but not in a hurry." She sighed. "I have kept my distance. I am getting my courage to meet them again."

"It makes no sense." Barnabas protested "We are free of it now, aren't we?"

"Yes, but..."

"What's the point of being free if we cannot talk about it? If we cannot act normally with Zeb, if we have to keep worrying about it..

"Why is Zeb so important to you? He is not Dave."

He looked at her hard. "You too believe that?"

"You have been known to pull the same kind of stupid stunt before."

"But this time it is different!"

"If you want someone close to Dave, why not try George?"

"He...he..: " Barnabas blushed " he wants to get too close to me."

"Yes, he does." Julia sighed. "For a long time I believed that homosexuality was a disease, I have learned more tolerance since then. Or let's say that I have learned that I don't know. everything. I know what you need., and George is the only one with the courage to give it to you."

"What do you mean, what I need?"

"You want more than a casual relationship. Much more than what you are getting from Oriana. More than you got from Iris. He may well be the one who is right for you. And" she smiled " this is what Dave wanted for both of you, anyway."

"I can't Julia, not that... I just don't go that way..."

"Don't be so sure."

So Derek thought that she was not fun anymore. Delia was fuming, wondering how she had reached that point.

Going into therapy was a mistake. Derek wanted her twisted, not straight. And twisted was more fun.

If only she got rid of those blocks Julia Hoffman had put on her, she would be able to pick up a whip and have fun again.

Then, Derek would have her as a partner again, not team up with Barnabas's housekeeper, the one who went in jeans two sizes too small..

She was going to Wyncliffe, to talk with Julia.

Louella... Louella...

She was floating, weightless, being carried on some sort of waves. But it was not water that she was swimming in. It was more like fire.

Willie looked at her angrily "Get rid of the brat!" he shouted "It will ruin our lives! Get rid of it!"

Then it was Buffy "My husband left me because of the child..."

Then the man of fire "Let us have this child."

There were men and women around her. Young, beautiful, naked... and they danced in the flames.

"You will always be beautiful. You'll be like us. Give us the child."

They encircled her. "We can give you all this. You'll be beautiful. You'll be young. Why waste yourself away, like your mother did?"

And then this one woman stood from among the dancers. She was taller and there was an air of quiet command to her.

"Will you give me this child?" the woman said softly "I will reward you for it."

"Who... who are you?"

"You can call me Laura" the woman said softly "And I will reward you greatly. You only need to give me this child who is ruining your life..."